Il arrive souvent des choses désagréables

Chapitre 58

In that instant, I forgot everything in the world.

The last time I heard those words, I thought it would be my forever, but in the end, I was separated by life and death. It was God who took pity on me and gave me a chance to start over. How could I not say yes? I have given everything I could to wait for him. How could I not say yes?

Even if he forgets the me of the past, even if he can no longer remember himself, so what? The monsoon of yesteryear, the Mo Li of today, everything between us has started anew, and God has returned him to me!

I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn't even bother to wipe them away. He smiled, reached out to wipe them again, and said, "Why are you crying, silly?"

I didn't know how to express my feelings, so I just choked up and shook my head.

His lips curved into a wide smile. I had never seen him smile so well before; his white teeth were showing, along with a small, pointed canine tooth on the side, which looked both strange and adorable.

Mo Li is right. Princess Ping'an is already dead, and my brother's empire has nothing to do with me anymore. As for the Mo Kingdom, it has never been related to me. In their eyes, I am just a pawn, a pawn without flesh and blood, without life, with only pure exploitative value. They are unwilling to even let me die.

If that's the case, why should I trap myself in the shadows of the past because of the conflict between these two countries?

My mind was made up, and I suddenly felt a sense of boundless freedom. I gripped his fingers even tighter, tears still on my cheeks, and gave him a smile.

He smiled at me again. When he smiled genuinely, he was always exceptionally handsome, making this barren mountain town look like a bright and sunny Jiangnan region.

After Mo Li left, he didn't speak again, and I remained silent as well. In the small town in the mountains, there was still a thin mist in the early morning, and only the soft footsteps of the two of us could be heard on the road. As we walked, I slowly began to have the illusion that this road was endless, and that I could hold his hand and walk like this for the rest of my life.

The faint sound of a door creaking could be heard, followed by greetings, conversations, and footsteps as people heading to the early market gradually appeared on the street. A few steps later, a child dressed in coarse cloth suddenly appeared at the corner, clutching a small wooden stool that was clearly handed to him by an adult. He stared at us with his large, clear black and white eyes, as if he had spotted two fish on flat ground.

Staring at me like that, even I, who was already feeling a bit dizzy, felt a little ashamed. My hand felt cold; Mo Li had already withdrawn it. Just as I was feeling a little disappointed, I heard him whisper, "Let's go back." Then, suddenly, my waist tightened, and he grabbed me around the waist, lifted me up, and flew away.

The town didn't have the high walls and grand courtyards of the capital, but the rooftops stretched out in rows. He led me through the eaves and walls, and I closed my eyes, hearing only the continuous sound of the wind in the thin mist. It was a scene similar to that of years past, one of my most precious memories.

In my youth, I was reckless and unrestrained, but as I grew older, I gradually realized that moments of true happiness in life are few and far between. Using them up too quickly leads to regret, so most of the time I train my patience and try not to be too greedy. But at this moment, I endured and endured, but I couldn't resist any longer. Finally, I slowly reached out and, like when I was a child, gently wrapped my arms around his neck. Then I buried my face in his shoulder, letting the wind and the faint whispers of his breath brush past my ears, as if only he and I remained in the world.

6

I didn't see my master or his entourage for the next day. It wasn't until the evening of the following day that Cheng Wei came to the inn alone to check on the healing of my wounds.

When Cheng Wei arrived, Mo Li was sitting by the bed, replying to urgent messages. Ever since his return to the Holy Mountain, although he hadn't told me what had happened, the most significant change was that he had gone from a semi-exiled Right Envoy to a powerful figure in the government. Even in this remote and impoverished place, he couldn't find peace; he received urgent messages by carrier pigeon every day. These days, every time I woke up, the first thing I saw was him sitting in that chair by my bed, writing replies.

Every time I see him like this, I am reminded of the days when I would sneak into the Imperial Study to watch my father review memorials. Whenever I tiptoed and pushed open the hidden door behind the big tree full of golden osmanthus blossoms, I would see the Emperor bowing his head and writing at his desk. He would not be angry when he saw me, but would put down his pen and reach out to hug me.

Although I understand that what my father writes isn't necessarily all for the sake of the common people, and often he might just write the word "execute" in red ink, and then blood would flow like rivers for more than ten days, so what? Even if he's not good to the world, he's always good to me.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long. When my father was alive, he probably never dreamed that the day people shouted "Long live the Emperor!" would end so quickly and so abruptly, leaving behind only half a city in bloodshed.

That's why, every time I come back from my memories and look at Mo Li's profile with his head down, I become even more greedy, unwilling to look away, and I always want to see him raise his head and glare at me, and then ask, "What are you looking at?"

This made me want to rush over and hug him even more.

Cheng Wei entered the room with a sour face, and when he walked to the bedside, he glared at Mo Li and said, "What are you still doing here?"

Mo Li glanced at him, but surprisingly didn't refute his tone. She stood up, said, "Take good care of her," and then turned and left.

I looked at Cheng Wei strangely, "Why are you so temperamental?"

Cheng Wei snorted, "Who has such a good interest as you? You wandered around early yesterday morning and were even carried back by someone."

I blushed and stammered, "You saw it?"

Cheng Wei said with exasperation, "The Alliance Leader saw it first; I only saw his back."

I felt even more embarrassed and lowered my head, asking, "Did Master say anything?"

"The alliance leader left without saying a word."

"Gone? Where to?"

Cheng Wei gave me the fiercest look I'd ever seen: "He's gone to Tuoguan City!"

I was shocked. My master had already left Jinshui Town without telling me. What had happened? Or did he see what I did yesterday morning and decide to abandon me?

"Where are Chengping and the others?"

"They've all left, leaving only me. If the Alliance Leader hadn't asked me to look after you, I would have left too."

Everyone's gone? I was shocked. "Why?"

Cheng Wei had finished examining my wounds. While rolling up the bandage on his hand, he said, "Although this place is located in the mountains, it is still part of the border region. The Mo army is skilled in battle and has already captured several cities in just half a month. Now the two armies are facing off at Tuoguan City, which is dozens of miles away from here. The other day, our men discovered a group of Mo troops crossing the mountains, intending to occupy this place and attack Tuoguan City from both sides. There are no garrisons here at all. If the Mo army attacks, the chances of survival are slim. Therefore, the Alliance Leader has led people to Tuoguan City to seek reinforcements. We hope that the general guarding the city can send troops to reinforce this place and also help the garrison to hold the pass."

"Master went to help the garrison troops stationed in the city?" I asked incredulously.

Just a few days ago, Wen De said that the Grand Canal transport system was now entirely under the control of the imperial court, and that the death of the Jin Chao Gang leader was inextricably linked to the court. Yet today, he rushed to the front lines regardless of his own safety. Of course, I know that my master is doing this for the sake of countless ordinary people, but dealing with the imperial army... I never imagined that people from the martial arts world and those in the imperial court would have any interaction, especially someone as aloof as my master!

Cheng Wei deftly rolled up the bandage in his hand, lowered his head and said, "Don't think that just because this place is quiet, the world is at peace. Have you ever seen those ordinary people who are displaced, whose families have been destroyed and who have lost their homes?"

Of course I have seen it! No matter when or where, whether in a bustling capital or a desolate wilderness, whether of my own kind or a foreign one, there is no place that is not filled with people suffering terribly from the ravages of war.

My head started throbbing violently again. The words I wanted to say were on the tip of my tongue, but looking at Cheng Wei's face so close to mine, I couldn't utter a single word.

My master is a great hero; when war raged, he put aside all matters of the martial world. So what about me? What can I do? What else can I do? I'm just caught up in personal feelings here. My master has countless people in his heart, but I only know how to care for one person!

How shameful! I decided to abandon everything this morning, but in the blink of an eye, all the faces around me began to remind me how shameful my decision was!

"As men of this dynasty, even if we are in the martial world, how can we stand by and watch the enemy advance unimpeded while we remain in a corner of the land? Moreover, when the nest is overturned, how can any egg remain intact? If the Mo Kingdom really annexes our country, what place will still belong to us?"

Cheng Wei rolled up the bandage in his hand completely, and finally looked up. "Your wound is healed, so I'm leaving now. The border needs healers. Since you're healthy enough to be able to climb over the wall and go for a stroll, I don't need to stay and take care of you anymore." He said this long string of words, took a breath, saw the expression on my face, finally sighed, and slowly spoke again.

"Ping An, although Mo Li is aloof, it seems he is truly sincere towards you this time. The Holy Fire Sect is located far beyond the Great Wall and is not originally part of the Central Plains. I think he is only interested in capturing those old men who betrayed the sect and bringing them back. So, at this time, it might be safest for you to follow him. The Alliance Leader probably left you behind for the same reason. That's all I have to say. Take care of yourself."

After he finished speaking, he turned to leave. I don't know where I got the strength, but I forced myself to sit up and grabbed him. "Chengwei, wait a moment."

I grabbed his shirt, and he didn't take a second step. When he turned back to look at me, half of my body was already hanging off the bed.

I said, "Don't go, actually I..."

That's all I have to say, because a loud commotion came from afar, and then the door was slammed open. Mo Li, wearing a mask, walked in, his voice colder than usual.

"The Mexican army is attacking. We shouldn't stay here any longer. Let's go."

7

The situation was urgent; Mo Li practically threw me onto the carriage. Everyone was ready in the shortest amount of time, and before I could even utter a word, the carriage had already driven out of the inn's gate.

The carriage wasn't completely enclosed; there were even thick blankets inside. I wondered who had prepared such thoughtfulness, but how could I possibly lie down comfortably inside? The scene outside the carriage window horrified me. This ordinary little town had become a sea of fire. People were fleeing from burning houses, rolling and screaming in the streets. Some were even chasing after galloping horses, begging the riders to help them escape.

The houses here were simple, mostly made of mud, straw and wooden planks. These houses were dry and rainless, and all of them were made of the most flammable materials. After being hit by rockets, the fire could not be controlled at all. Amidst the billowing smoke and dust, the faint sounds of metal clashing and horses' hooves trampling became the background to all the screams and wails around me.

The road was constantly being covered by burning and collapsing houses, and even the horses had to run for their lives to avoid it. People often disappeared in the firelight in the blink of an eye. Some people rushed at the horses and carriages we were riding, trying to climb up by clinging to the horses' bodies or the carriage shafts, but neither the speed of the horses nor the speed of the carriages were something that ordinary people could keep up with, let alone in such a chaotic situation.

This hellish scene was terrifying. I watched helplessly as everything unfolded before me. The war scenes I had experienced were like a giant sword slashing down on me. My body was ice cold, but my heart felt like it was being burned in a furnace. The air was filled with the smell of fire and death, making it difficult for me to breathe and almost suffocating me.

"Stop looking!" Mo Li suddenly turned around, his voice like a whip, waking me from my nightmare. I regained my senses, and my vision went dark as he turned back and pressed me down into the carriage while the horse was galloping.

In that instant, my gaze passed over his body and I saw an old man carrying an infant running towards us. Perhaps the sudden outbreak of war had driven him to disregard everything, for the old man was heading straight for the carriage. I was terrified. Ignoring the tearing pain in my wounds, I grabbed Mo Li and pleaded with him, "Save them, Mo Li, save them."

In that instant, all I could think of was the scene of Chengping leading me through the burning capital city. This small town of Jinshui was nothing compared to the grandeur of the imperial city. I had never even seen the people here before, let alone recognized any of them. But they were all vibrant lives, just like me!

Mo Li pursed his lips, his expression hidden behind the mask. With a swift movement, he pressed me down. The carriage continued its momentum, heading straight ahead. His grip was like iron, and I couldn't struggle. Just as I was about to scream, a dark figure leaped towards the two men from the side—it was Cheng Wei, who had been riding beside us the whole time.

Ma Mou was still galloping, and it seemed that Cheng Wei and the old man holding the child were about to be trampled under the horse's hooves. Mo Li turned around, and I heard his cold snort from Canghuang Si. Then I saw him leap out, and at the critical moment, he struck with his long whip. First, he forced Cheng Wei back more than ten feet away with one whip, and then he reached out in mid-air, grabbed the old man's collar, and forcibly moved him away from the horse's hooves.

In a fit of terror, the old man flailed his arms wildly, throwing the child away. Fortunately, the surrounding area was filled with members of the Holy Fire Sect skilled in martial arts. The man in blue leaped from his horse and caught the child. The strength that a person unleashes on the verge of death is immense. The old man's withered fingers continued to lash out wildly in the air, narrowly missing Mo Li's eyes. Luckily, Mo Li reacted quickly, dodging the blow, but his mask was already knocked off and fell into the chaotic hooves, disappearing from sight in an instant.

All of this happened in the blink of an eye. In the blink of an eye, Mo Li had already returned to his horse in front of the carriage. I heard a sudden gasp; it was Cheng Wei, who had just returned to his horse.

Cheng Wei looked at Mo Li with a horrified expression, but I had no time to care what he was thinking. The movement of lunging forward made me lean forward, and when Mo Li flew back, I had almost fallen out of the carriage. He steadied the horse pulling the carriage with one hand and grabbed me with the other. The moment we looked at each other, his face, which was no longer masked, even had a few bloodstains from the old man's scratches. His eyes were cold and his expression was stiff.

His expression emptied my heart; the spot where the arrow had pierced seemed to have become a transparent hole again. My mind was made up, and after a moment of excruciating pain, I still gritted my teeth and said, "Mo Li, I..."

He interrupted me, his voice as cold as ice, "You said you wouldn't go back to the past."

...

The flames behind him grew even more intense. Apart from him, everything I could see was red—the color of hell. He stood between me and hell, and only he stood between me and hell.

He added, "Peace, this is their war."

...

"To save them, you might die."

...

“You promised me!” he said finally.

I understand, I understand everything, but, but...

Looking at the raging war behind him, at the screaming, fleeing lives, at the child in the blue-clad woman's arms, at the hell he had shielded behind him, tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. He was right, I was just a dead princess, but at that moment, I only wished I had truly died back then.

That way I won't have to endure this torment anymore, and I won't have to deceive myself anymore that none of this has anything to do with me!

The caravan had already passed through the burning town, and ahead lay the continuous mountain range. Once we entered the mountains, we could leave all of this behind. Ahead lay a road shimmering with the hope of life, the future he had promised me, and the boundless sky I longed for. Everything there was the beautiful thing I had ever desired in my life. But I couldn't help turning back, staring intently at the hell we had abandoned behind us.

His fingers still gripped mine tightly, strong enough to crush all fear, but another overwhelming force broke through his grasp and utterly defeated me.

Perhaps what you did was the right choice, but I can't help it.

Through my blurry vision with tears, I looked at everything behind me, loosening my fingers one by one. I felt his stubborn stiffness, and the irreparable emptiness in my heart ached even more.

Forgetting gave you rebirth and freedom, and I want them too, but I can't.

I'm sorry, I really can't help it.

"Safety!"

I jumped off the carriage at his shout, and a horse suddenly rushed out from the side and pulled me back. I turned my head and saw Cheng Wei's face.

"I'll go with you."

I gritted my teeth and nodded, forcing myself with all my might not to turn back. The more I held it in, the stronger the sweet, metallic taste in my throat became, and I felt like vomiting.

My horse galloped in the direction we came from, and someone pressed down on my shoulder. Cheng Wei's voice rang out above my head.

He said, "Okay, Ping An, I understand."

Chapter Four: Tuoguancheng

1

Cheng Wei led me towards the town, which had been peaceful until it was engulfed in flames. Corpses littered the streets, and deafening roars and the clang of metal echoed in the distance. Some townspeople must have fought back against their impending doom, but what could they possibly do? Following their rocket attack, the army swept into the town from the north with overwhelming force, and the sounds of battle filled the air. Cheng Wei and I saw several townspeople supporting each other as they escaped from one end of the town. We were about to approach them when they ran off in another direction.

After we followed them for a few more steps, we discovered that most of the survivors had already fled into the inn where we had stayed. When they saw us following them, they assumed we were also fleeing. Before we could say anything, they dragged us inside and pushed the door shut, saying, "Hurry up and hide. There are many of them. They will kill anyone they see. If you don't hide, you're doomed."

This inn was the only stone-built building in town, located at the southern end. The Mo army must have rushed over the mountains from the north overnight, arriving without giving their soldiers a moment's rest before launching an immediate attack. They used their preferred method: archers first fired fire arrows for a long-range attack, followed by the infantry charging straight in. Fortunately, the mountain roads were treacherous, and they hadn't brought any cavalry with them; otherwise, given the prowess of the Mo cavalry I'd witnessed, Jinshui Town would have been razed to the ground long ago, leaving no time for this Hillbentao to hide.

The courtyard of the inn was crowded with people, including the owner, who was just about to have several men work together to lift the lid of the cellar in the backyard. He was taken aback when he saw us.