Лантинг - Глава 12

Глава 12

"Sister-in-law, please sit down. I've been wanting to thank you properly. If it weren't for you saving me, I..."

"Please don't say that. I'm here today to apologize on behalf of my husband. We've been married for so many years, and I know his character best. He's a good man, but I don't know when it started, he keeps calling your name in his dreams. He truly loves you; I can see it clearly. Every day, he asks me to cook your meals, tea, and snacks according to your preferences. Whenever he has free time, he accompanies you to the garden to admire flowers and paint. During the time you stayed at our home, my husband was very happy. We get along well, and you're good to Xing'er and the others. If my husband were to marry you, it would be a good thing. After all, your parents aren't here, and we can take good care of you. But he knows he can't compete with my cousin, so he came up with this despicable way of forcing things. Considering he was confused for a moment and didn't cause any major harm, please forgive him." "Sister-in-law, please don't say anymore. You're a good person, a good woman. My cousin's actions are not only unfair to me but also to you. You saved me, and I'm very grateful to you. I don't want to hear anything else." My cousin's wife pleaded with me hopefully, "I know it's hard on you, but for our sake, please go back and visit whenever you have time. So much time has passed, and you haven't been back even once. Grandma and Dad miss you. Last time my cousin got married, we wanted to see you and apologize, but he blocked us and wouldn't let us see you. Your husband already knows he was wrong and has scolded himself countless times over the past two years. He's really not a bad person; he just loves you too much." "Tell me, what woman could forgive something like this? Liking someone isn't an excuse to hurt them. I don't need this kind of love, and I can't bear it. I can't forgive my cousin, at least not now. Even now, I'm still afraid of the dark and need a light to fall asleep. Cousin's wife, please go back and tell Grandma that I'm doing well and not to worry about me. Also, please ask her to take good care of herself. If she really wants to see me, we can arrange to meet outside. I really can't go back to that place now." My cousin's wife wanted to explain further, but seeing my determined expression, she ultimately didn't say anything more. Cheng Zhuri came straight to me after returning from the money exchange. "What did your cousin-in-law say to you?" "She just wanted me to go see Grandma and Uncle." "You're not allowed to go without me. Look at you, your waist is so thin, and your face is so gaunt. You haven't been eating less, why aren't you getting any weight? Are you not sleeping well at night, or is it because teaching is taking its toll?" Cheng Zhuri reached out and touched my face. His hand was still so warm. How long had it been since we had any physical contact? I missed his warm embrace so much, but I couldn't indulge in that tenderness any longer. I closed my eyes and pulled my face away forcefully. A hint of bitterness appeared in Cheng Zhuri's eyes. "How long are you going to keep arguing with me? Why are you doing this?"

"..." "Yuwei has been married for two years and hasn't given birth yet. Now I can rightfully marry you. Of the three unfilial acts, the greatest is to have no offspring. The Rong family won't say anything." "Is this the reason Rong Yuwei hasn't been able to conceive for two years?" I asked softly. Cheng Zhuri's silence was tacit agreement. I didn't understand, "Then why don't you just let her have a child sooner so I can marry into the family sooner? Why go through all this trouble?" "With the power behind her, if she has a child before you, your life after marriage will be even more difficult. I need to give her the cold shoulder first. Even if she has a child, it will be after you." "She's your wife, how can you do this?" I wasn't heartbroken for Rong Yuwei, but for Cheng Zhuri. He was a clear spring in my heart. I would rather lose him than see him lose his purity and clarity. This is what makes him precious, and what I cherish. "You're not allowed to hold a grudge against me because of her." Zhu Qin's sorrowful eyes flashed before me. This wicked feudal society that treated women as nothing, this situation where I was stuck in a rut, made me completely furious. I vented the resentment that had been building up for the past two years indiscriminately, "You stinking men! Your wives are working hard to bear your children and take care of your parents, but what do you do? You're holding one in your arms and thinking about another, some even thinking about more. I thought you were different from other men, but I didn't expect you to be all the same. You're just like Liu Yu, you only like my face. If I were ugly, I don't believe you would even give me a second glance..." My mind was a blur, and I kept talking. In the end, I couldn't remember what I said. I only saw Cheng Zhuri looking at me with disbelief and hurt in his eyes. I knew I couldn't judge him with modern ideas; it wouldn't be fair to him. He was raised in a feudal society where it was considered natural for men to have multiple wives and concubines. But the anger in my heart was burning. I needed to vent, and I could only vent it on him. "You actually compared me to Liu Yu? I did all this for you." "Then stop doing it for me. I just want to live a good life on my own, a peaceful life. Let's get this straight today. I don't want to get married, I don't want to marry anyone." "There's no reason for a woman not to get married in this world. You'll get married whether you like it or not, even if you have to be tied up, we'll still force you into the bridal sedan chair."

"If you want to force me to my death, you can try. I'm going to live for myself in this life, and from today onwards, no one can force me anymore!" This was the first argument between Cheng Zhuri and me, a fierce argument. For the next two months, I ignored him. I didn't want to be like this, but every time I received his caring gaze, I would think of Zhuqin's resentful eyes.

First Edition: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter Thirty-Eight: An Unexpected Event

"Miss, something terrible has happened! Something horrible has happened!" Xiaohe shouted as she ran into the room.

"Xiaohe, talk it out, why are you so anxious?" "Miss, the eldest young master, the eldest young master has had an accident!" What! Seeing Cheng Zhuri being carried in, his forehead covered in blood, his face pale, his moon-white robe stained with blood, a shocking sight, I was heartbroken, tears streaming down my face. My hands and feet felt numb, I could only feel my heart pounding in pain! He was fine at breakfast this morning, how did he become like this when he got home? My aunt fainted on the spot, the house was in chaos, Zhu'er and Zhu Shi were crying their eyes out, but thankfully my uncle, the pillar of strength, didn't collapse, he calmed everyone down, finally those who needed to find a doctor found a doctor, those who needed to take care of the children took care of the children, and with Uncle Qi helping to hold things together, the situation finally stabilized. After taking his pulse, Doctor Lan said to my uncle, "The eldest son's injuries aren't serious, just excessive blood loss. Fortunately, no bones are broken. He just needs to rest and recuperate, and he'll recover within two months. But the head injury is hard to say!" Could he become a vegetable or suffer from amnesia?! "Doctor Lan, we've been friends for many years. You must do your best. You know best how much each day means to our Cheng family. I'm begging you." "Don't worry, Master Cheng, I will do my best." I stepped forward and pleaded with Rong Yuwei, "Cousin-in-law, let me take care of my cousin." Rong Yuwei's eyes were like sharp swords. "Cousin, you seem to be confused by fright. I appreciate your kindness, but taking care of my husband is my duty. There's no reason for you to do it for me. Besides, you're still an unmarried young lady. There's a difference between men and women. You don't need to worry about that."

“No,” I pleaded with her, tears streaming down my face, “Sister-in-law, I beg you, I just want to stay by his side and see him wake up, sister-in-law, I beg you! I beg you!” I was completely lost, I just kept crying and begging her, “Please, please, my cousin needs me, I want to be with him, I can’t be separated from him now, please!” No matter how much I begged, Rong Yuwei was unmoved. I rushed forward, wanting to take a closer look at Cheng Zhuri, but I was stopped by the old woman beside her. I was so close to grab his hand, just a hair’s breadth away. At that moment, I experienced the despair of being so close yet so far.

“Xiaohe, why don’t you help your cousin back to rest? She’s been sickly since she was little; you can’t afford to hurt her if she cries too much. Thank you for your concern for your husband, cousin. I will tell him when he wakes up.” “I won’t go! I won’t go!” I sobbed, clinging tightly to the table. “Xiaoxiao, Yuwei is right. Go downstairs first and listen to your uncle. Your aunt isn’t feeling well right now, so please help take care of her. Your uncle will take care of everything here.” “I won’t go! I want to stay with my cousin!” In the end, I couldn’t resist their strength and was forcibly carried back to my room. I couldn’t be by Cheng Zhuri’s side when he needed me most. I was filled with regret. If I had become Cheng Zhuri’s concubine earlier, at least I could have stayed by his side openly. No, that’s not right. Even if I had become a concubine, Rong Yuwei would have had more right to control me. She could do whatever she wanted with me.

===============================================================================

"Miss, Uncle Qi is looking for you." I immediately rushed out the door: "Uncle Liu, is it because my cousin is not well?" It's been two days, and he still hasn't woken up. Could he really become a vegetable? Uncle Qi glanced at Xiao He, "No, there are some things he wants to talk to you about, Miss." I understood what he meant and said to Xiao He, "You go and guard the gate first, don't let anyone in." Uncle Qi watched Xiao He walk out of the courtyard and slowly said, "Cousin, I have a few things I want to tell you. The eldest son has been depressed these days, working himself to the bone from dawn till dusk, never coming home before dark. Every day after returning home, he goes up the mountain alone to play the flute, repeatedly playing the same tune. I know 'Kangxi' was written by you, Miss, but the eldest son plays it with such heartbreak that even I feel sad. I watched him grow up; he's always been a child with many worries, keeping everything bottled up inside. But everyone in the Cheng family knows how much he loves you. Today, he stopped halfway through playing. Apparently, he dropped something and somehow fell down the mountain. When I found him at the foot of the mountain, his head and body were covered in blood, he was barely able to stand, and he was still clutching something tightly in his hand. I only realized what it was when I looked down..." It was a brocade pouch, which he insisted on tucking into his robes. He also made me promise not to tell the master and madam about it. I guessed that the pouch must have been given by you, Miss, and only someone like the eldest young master could have given it to him. For the sake of the eldest young master, I will keep this secret and will not utter a word more. Although I don't believe that men must have multiple wives and concubines, it would be foolish to sacrifice the interests of the family for the sake of some romantic feelings. If I truly love a woman, even if she is not the principal wife, I will respect her, cherish her, and treat her with sincerity. Imagine a man without the support of his family, without money or power, how can he protect the woman he loves and his family? "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, for ye may ye have no flowers left to pluck." That's all I have to say. Miss, you are a wise woman, and you will surely understand what I mean. Today, I, Uncle Qi, have overstepped my bounds.”

Uncle Qi is blaming me, but I blame myself too, for my impulsiveness. I can't cry anymore; crying won't solve anything. I must do something for Cheng Zhuri. He might have injured his head. I've seen many such cases on TV and in books in my past life. The most important thing is to stimulate him. I just hope there's no brain hemorrhage. For his sake, and for my own, I must pull myself together and stay calm. I'll go talk to Rong Yuwei and try to get the chance to take care of him personally. I carefully recalled the negotiation techniques from my past life: not too strong, not too weak, the right amount of persistence, satisfying the other party's vanity and sense of accomplishment, etc. I organized my thoughts, tidied my appearance, and calmed myself as I walked towards Rong Yuwei's room.

Looking at Cheng Zhuri, who was lying on the bed with a pale face, I said, "Sister-in-law, let's make a deal. It's a deal that will only make you money." Granny Wang, being perceptive, immediately avoided the question. "My cousin is unconscious right now; he must have suffered a brain injury. The longer he sleeps, the less likely he is to wake up." Rong Yuwei clearly didn't believe me. "You're not a doctor, so how do you know?" "You don't need to know how I know. It's true. I have no reason to lie. Everyone in this family wants him to wake up soon. Besides, the Rong family has many friends; we can easily consult some renowned doctors. The possibility is very high. Let me see my cousin; I want to take care of him myself." Rong Yuwei raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think I'll agree?" "Because you also want my cousin to wake up soon, and because I can solve your biggest worry. I promise you I will never marry my cousin as a concubine." "Perhaps I don't need you. I can handle both of those things myself." "Really? Are you sure? Maybe you can do it, but there are two possible consequences. First, if you want your cousin to wake up sooner, besides medication, the most important thing is to stimulate him. You can't let him stay asleep forever. He needs someone he knows well to keep talking to him. That's something you can't do, at least not now. My cousin and I grew up together, we have so many memories to share. No matter how unwilling you are, you have to face it. The most suitable person for that is me. Maybe without me, he won't wake up. His illness is a risk we can't afford to take. We have to try our best as long as there's even the slightest chance of him waking up sooner, because he's indispensable to you, to me, and to the whole Cheng family. Second, maybe he can wake up without me. I will definitely tell him myself that you're not making any effort to help him recover his health because of your own selfishness. How will he see you then? How will he treat you in the future? Aren't you worried at all?"

Seeing her expression waver, I continued, "The Wen and Cheng families are very close. If it weren't for my fate of having no children, the two families would have arranged a marriage long ago. He wouldn't have gone to the Chrysanthemum Festival, you wouldn't have met him, and you wouldn't be where you are today. You can't stop your uncle from taking other concubines for your cousin. From ancient times to the present, only the emperor's son-in-law is not allowed to take concubines. No matter how noble your status is, you are not a princess. Moreover, you can't stop me either, because I am an orphan and grew up in the Cheng family. Marrying my cousin is the best outcome for me, and it's my aunt's way of answering to my parents' spirits in heaven. This is not only about affection but also about duty, and it's a responsibility that the Cheng family must bear. If you don't let me into the family, what will people say about you? That you're narrow-minded and can't even tolerate an orphan? That would be a violation of the seven grounds for divorce. If you were a daughter from an ordinary family..." "Based on this alone, Chengjia could divorce you, but you are the daughter of the prefect. Chengjia can't divorce you, but your marital bond might be completely destroyed. Are you really not afraid at all? But if I insist on not marrying, it's completely different. In that case, your virtue, generosity, and prioritizing your cousin in everything will earn him even more respect and admiration. You will get what you asked for, and as the legal wife, you will have the respect of your husband and in-laws, and the support of your powerful maternal family. What more could a woman ask for? What you have, I will never have, but what I have, you may have in the future, because you and your cousin have a lifetime together. As the saying goes, 'Sincerity can move mountains.' Your reputation and dignity can be preserved. You will only benefit from this deal, not lose out."

"What will you get in return?" "Of course, I hope my cousin recovers soon. And of course, there are other conditions. From now on, we'll live separate lives, you do yours, I do mine. I will never marry my cousin. But you have to grant me three requests. I haven't thought them through yet, but once I have, you must help me fulfill them. Of course, these three requests are all within your capabilities and won't harm you. And if I want to leave and start my own family later, you must also help me achieve that." "That's no problem. I will never make things difficult for you. If you want to leave, I'll give you a sum of money to ensure you're well-off for the rest of your life. What do you want me to do?" "Move my cousin to the east wing. From morning till dusk every day, apart from the doctor's consultation and my uncle's visits, no one else should disturb us. I will serve him all his meals and medicine until he wakes up." "Even me?" "You still have evenings to spend with him, and you have many chores to handle during the day. This family can't do without you now. If you can't let go of the present, how can you have a future? Consider this some interest payment for your future happiness. Maybe he'll wake up soon, in three or five days. I only need the daytime, while you and he have a lifetime." "You're an unmarried girl, aren't you afraid of damaging your reputation?" "That's my problem, it has nothing to do with you." "Fine, I agree, but I want you to swear a solemn oath." "I, Wen Xiaoxiao, hereby swear that I will never marry my cousin as a concubine in this life. If I break this oath, may I die with my intestines ruptured." "No, I don't want you to die. I want you to live a long and healthy life. If you break your oath and marry my husband, may your daughters be prostitutes for generations, and your sons be slaves for generations. If you break your promise, you will live to see your descendants suffer and be despised by others."

"You..." "If you swear this oath, I will grant your wish, and from now on, whatever you ask of me, as long as it's within my power, I'll do it, not just three, but thirty." "Alright, I, Wen Xiaoxiao, hereby swear that I will never marry my cousin as a concubine in this life. If I break this oath, may my daughters...may my daughters be prostitutes for generations, and my sons be slaves for generations." Having agreed on the terms, she turned and left. "Don't hate me." Rong Yuwei's voice, full of helplessness and resentment, came from behind. "I grew up watching my mother's tears. She was glamorous in front of others, but who knew her suffering behind the scenes? The other concubines in the other rooms made my mother suffer a lot, openly and secretly. My father just turned a blind eye. Do you know why I am a talented woman? I desperately learn to play the zither, write poems, and paint, just to win my father's attention, to make him stay in my mother's room more, and to make my mother cry less. I hate and am disgusted by the struggle between wives and concubines. I just want to live this life peacefully with my husband. I don't want my children to be as sad as I am. If my husband has to take a concubine, it must not be you. I am not sure I can win against you."

Whether it's a genuine expression of emotion or an act, it's none of my business. "Life is full of disappointments, but we can only share two or three with others. Everyone has their share of sadness. You already have so much; do you really need my sympathy and understanding?"

First Edition: Falling in love is easy, but staying together is difficult. Chapter Thirty-Nine: Auspicious Omens

"Xiaohe, I'm going to see Auntie in a bit. Could you prepare something for me?" Auntie was already an older mother, and her body couldn't withstand any further stimulation. As soon as I entered, I saw Auntie lying on the bed, pushing away the tonics that Qin Ma had brought. "Auntie, I know you can't eat, but for the sake of the baby, you have to drink it as medicine. Uncle is busy with business and worrying about Cousin's illness; he's already exhausted. If something happens to you, what will become of this family? Especially in times like these, we must not panic and must hold on." "Xiaoxiao, I understand what you're saying, but I still can't put my mind at ease." I took the bowl and fed her myself. "Even if you can't put your mind at ease, don't stop eating. The baby in your belly is Auntie's child, just as precious. You have to think more about him and your own health." "Where did this turtle come from?" "It looks like it's been alive for a long time!" "It's still crawling! Quick, catch it!" The maids' voices rang out from outside. Aunt Qin stepped outside and scolded, "What are you yelling about? Don't you have any manners?" "Aunt Qin, an old turtle came out of nowhere. Look, it looks so old, and its back is covered in hair."

Aunt Qin, her emotions somewhat agitated, said, "Qin Ma, bring it in quickly so I can take a look!" Qin Ma carried the tortoise in, letting Aunt Qin examine it closely. "Judging from the patterns and color of its shell, it's probably over a hundred years old," Aunt Qin said, looking down as she examined it.

I gave Qin Ma a wink, and she immediately understood. Feigning excitement, she said, "Madam, this is an auspicious sign! Since ancient times, the dragon, phoenix, qilin, and tortoise have been known as the Four Auspicious Beasts, symbols of good fortune. But Qin Ma has never seen a dragon, phoenix, or qilin; she's only heard about them in storytelling. The tortoise, however, is quite different. It's something you can actually see, a symbol of health and longevity. Its sudden appearance in the mansion must be a message from the Bodhisattva. The eldest young master will surely overcome misfortune and achieve great wealth and honor in the future." "Yes, yes," I quickly echoed, "As the ancients said, 'When Heaven is about to place a great responsibility on a person, it first tests their will, strains their muscles and bones, starves their body, empties their resources, and frustrates their endeavors, so as to strengthen their resolve and increase their abilities.' It seems my cousin is destined for greatness; this is a test from the Bodhisattva. If he passes this test, his future will be filled with blessings." Aunt nodded repeatedly, "That makes sense, that makes sense, it's indeed an auspicious sign. I don't ask for wealth or status now, I only wish for my family to be safe and sound. Qin Ma, take good care of it. I'll go to the Bodhisattva to burn some offerings to thank the Bodhisattva for protecting us. Once I recover, I will definitely have the Bodhisattva's statue recast." "Aunt, my cousin-in-law is currently unable to manage the household, so I've discussed it with her. I'll take care of my cousin during the day. Last time I was sick, I had already crossed the Naihe Bridge, but my cousin called me back because I couldn't bear to leave him. I'm sure I can wake him up too. He can't bear to leave you and Uncle, nor can he leave his younger siblings and Xiaoxiao. Didn't Doctor Lan say that as long as my cousin wakes up, he'll be fine? Xiaoxiao once heard a saying: 'As long as there's a glimmer of hope, you must make a hundred times the effort.' Now is the time for Xiaoxiao to work hard. I grew up with my cousin..." "Dad, I've been by his side taking care of him, talking to him until he wakes up. Little Xiao only asks that you drink well and sleep well every day, even if you can't sleep, just close your eyes and rest for a while, for your cousin, for this family. You must hold on and take good care of your pregnancy. The family can't afford anything else. Go see your cousin once or twice a day, and in the evening, Little Xiao will come to keep you company, telling you what your cousin ate and drank, and what his condition is. Zhuqin is married now, Little Xiao is your daughter. Little Xiao will stay with you and wait for your cousin to wake up."

Aunt's eyes were brimming with tears: "My child, my good child, you are an adult now, it must be hard for you." "It's not hard, Aunt, don't cry, I won't cry either. Tears are useless. I only hope that my family is alive and well. Being alive and well is more important than anything else." Aunt, you are my mother. Please take care of yourself. You must not have anything happen to you, or I will be filled with guilt.

===============================================================================

"Cousin, do you still remember that barbarian song I sang to you? Last time I only sang a short part, let me sing the whole song to you today. I will sing to you now how do I get through one night without you if I had to live without you what kind of life would that be oh I need you in my arms need you to hold you're my world, my heart, my soul if you ever leave baby, you would take away everything good in my life and tell me now how do I live without you i want to know how do I breath without you if you ever go how do I ever, ever survive how do I, how do I, oh, how do I live without you, there would be no sun in my sky there would be no love in my life there would be no world left for me and I....baby, I don't know what I would do I 'd be lost if I lost you if you ever leave baby, you would take away everything real in my life and tell me now, how do I live without you I want to know, how do I breath without you if you ever go, how do I ever, ever survive how do I, how do I, oh, how do I live if you ever leave baby, you would take away everything need you with me baby, cause you know that your everything good in my life

And tell me now, how do I live without you I want to know, how do I breathe without you if you ever go, how do I ever, ever survive, oh, how do I live without you? I've always liked it. Some things about barbarians are still good. My cousin doesn't understand, so I'll tell you quietly: it means, if you leave me, without you, I can't live a single day; without you, I don't know what my life would be like. I need your hands to hold me tightly in your arms; you are my heart, my whole world. If you leave me, you take away the most precious thing I have; so please tell me, how can I live without you? I really want to know, if you leave, how can you survive? Without you, my world has no sunshine, I live forever in darkness, and there is no more love in my life; and I will have nothing, because you are my all, my only love. If that's the case, I don't know what to do. If I lose you, I will lose myself. Without you, I can't breathe. Tell me what to do if you leave.

I took his right hand and whispered against my cheek, "Cousin, do you understand? I'm confessing my love to you. Cousin, please wake up soon. I've been waiting for you. These past few days, I've been thinking about the days we spent together—writing calligraphy, playing the zither under the moon, admiring peach blossoms, strolling through the capital, watching lanterns, solving riddles—that captivating smile that only graced me. Thinking of those beautiful memories, and then looking at the present, with Rong Yuwei sitting beside you, her hair adorned with the white hairpin of the eldest daughter-in-law of the Cheng family, I ask God in my heart, if you were never meant for me, why did you let me meet you? I hate, I resent. I must have been possessed by a ghost that day to say such hurtful things. I was wrong, I want to apologize to you in person, but angry words can't be forgotten." Truly, it's just that my heart is too bitter and stifled, with nowhere to vent—for myself, for Zhuqin, and for all the pitiful women in the world. I'm sorry I hurt you with my words, because I know you'll never be angry with me. I was just bullying you, just taking advantage of you. Now I don't hate heaven or blame earth, I just want you to wake up. Someone once said, "In the vast sea of people, I search for my one and only soulmate. If I find her, I'm lucky; if not, it's my fate." Xiaoxiao is already very lucky and happy to have found her cousin. Many women in this world never find their one and only. No one's life is perfect; even the moon has its phases. Xiaoxiao already has so much, and I will hold onto what I have tightly in my hands, never letting it slip away. “Cousin, I remember every time I saw you, I was stunned. How could there be such a handsome man in the world? His features were as if they were carved with a knife, and his temperament was otherworldly. I never got tired of looking at you every day. I never thought I would fall in love with you. Also, I remember when I was 13 years old, I caught a cold in the winter. My aunt said that I was not healthy and was not allowed to go to admire the plum blossoms with everyone. I was so anxious, but I didn’t dare to say it. Only my cousin understood me the most. He saw it at a glance and specially went home early and brought back several plum blossoms to have someone deliver them. At that time, I smelled the fragrance of plum blossoms and thought that I wondered which girl would be lucky enough to receive my cousin’s love in the future. I never thought it would be me.” “Cousin, do you know what? I had a dream last night, and I was still happy when I woke up this morning. I dreamt that I married you and became your wife. I would bear your children, serve you tea and water, cook for you, bathe and wash your hair; warm your bed in winter and fan you in summer; comb your hair in the morning and soak your feet at night; make you a bowl of longevity noodles every year on your birthday; massage your shoulders when you are tired and sing you songs, many songs you have never heard before; celebrate our wedding day together every year, just the two of us, and even draw a portrait of us as a memento; I also dreamt that we had a lovely daughter who looked like you and had beautiful phoenix eyes, but she loved to laugh, like me, and had a pair of cute little dimples, and she was always asking for a younger brother and sister.” At this moment, Cheng Zhuri's finger twitched, and he was overjoyed. He was about to wake up, so he called out to him a few times. But after waiting for a long time, he still lay there motionless. This should be an unconscious reaction, but a reaction is better than no reaction at all. He encouraged himself not to be discouraged and to continue to try.

Every day I repeat the same routine: feeding him herbal medicine, feeding him three meals a day, washing his hair every five or six days, and massaging his limbs for half an hour every day to prevent muscle atrophy. Holding his hands and talking to him constantly, my mind is filled with the strong belief that Cheng Zhuri will wake up. <bgsound src=/Music/Country/Trisha%20Yearwood%20-%20How%20Do%20I%20Live.mp3>

First Edition: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard; Chapter Forty: A Different Kind of Togetherness

"Miss, the eldest young master is dying. He keeps calling your name. You must go quickly! The madam said she wants you to see him one last time. If you're too late, you might not get to see him again." Xiaohe was in tears. Her legs went weak, and she almost collapsed to the ground. How could he suddenly be dying? I only left a short while ago. He was perfectly fine just now.

Rushing into his room, she saw a group of people gathered around him, and Doctor Lan was taking his pulse. She broke free from Xiao He and stepped forward, "Doctor, how is he?" Doctor Lan shook his head, "I've done my best. Prepare for the worst!" "No, no, please examine him again!" This is impossible. “Xiaoxiao…” “Cousin, cousin, I’m here!” She tightly grasped Cheng Zhuri’s outstretched hand. “Cousin, you must hold on. Many times, a patient’s willpower can overcome the most serious illnesses and create many medical miracles. As long as you don’t give up, you will definitely get better. You just suffered an external injury and lost too much blood. With proper care, you can recover.” “Xiaoxiao, I know my body. I can’t go on. What I worry about most is you. Mother has promised me that she will arrange a good marriage for you. You will be her primary wife, and she will only marry you. She will never take a concubine! Cough, cough… Now that I’m leaving, you don’t need to hide from me anymore. Cough, cough…” Cheng Zhuri coughed more and more violently, even coughing up blood. I quickly tried to wipe it away, but I couldn’t clean it up no matter what I did. The blood flowed more and more, faster and faster, staining his clothes and the sheets red down his neck. My hands were also covered in his blood. Blood was everywhere.

"Don't blame me." "Cousin, I was wrong. I don't blame you. I was just a little mistake. I shouldn't have said those things to you." "Don't blame me..." Cheng Zhuri's voice grew softer and softer, and he finally let go of my hand. I was startled and called out softly, "Cousin?" I tremblingly put my finger under his nose. There was no breath. I touched his neck. There was no pulse.

"Cousin! Cousin!" My cousin is dead, he's dead, gone forever! Suddenly, I felt an emptiness in my heart. "Miss, Miss! Wake up!" "Cousin!" Xiaohe gently comforted me, "Miss, the young master is alright. You've been too tired lately; you were just having a nightmare! It's not dawn yet, go back to sleep." A dream, it was just a dream. "Yes, cousin will definitely be alright, he's fine!" I murmured to myself. Xiaohe handed me a cotton towel, "Miss, wipe yourself." I took it blankly, looking at her, "Wipe what?" "Tears. Miss, you were crying in your dream. Don't worry, young master is a lucky man, he'll be alright. The doctor said his health is getting better and better, but you must take care of yourself too." I touched my face, my face covered in tears. Yes, he'll be alright. Dreams are always the opposite of reality. He'll get better; maybe he'll wake up soon. The next morning, I saw Cheng Zhuri still lying there quietly, his complexion much rosier than before, and his wounds had almost healed. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Only then did I feel at ease and sit down beside him, holding his right hand in my hands and pressing it against my cheek.

“Cousin, why aren’t you awake yet? I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt that you were covered in blood. I was so scared. You can’t be hurt. You’re the only person I can rely on in this life. No matter how good Aunt is, she will be gone one day. If you’re not here, I won’t be able to stay in my family. I don’t want to marry another man. If you don’t wake up, I will have to go back to Grandma’s house to survive. Grandpa doesn’t like me. What will I do then? You must wake up for my sake.” "Cousin, you're so silly. Why did you pick up that handkerchief? I could have embroidered another one for you. Things are inanimate, but people are alive. Knowing you almost lost your life for it, it would be a lie to say I wasn't moved. Just please don't do anything so foolish again. By the way, do you know what that embroidered handkerchief meant? Let me tell you, it meant I wanted to be with you forever, hand in hand, until we're old and gray. Who knew things would change like this? Every little thing you did for me is etched in my heart. It's so good that I don't want to share you with any other woman, not even a little bit. Why is Rong Yuwei so lucky to have you, and even to have your child? Thinking about that scene, my heart felt like it was being..." The ants gnawed at me, and I envied Rong Yuwei, envied her privileged background, how easily she could get what she wanted. If I were also the daughter of the prefect, even if I were childless, perhaps I could still marry you. Now I don't think about anything else, only that you get better soon. Cousin, do you know? After I made that vow, I went back to my room and cried, cried so hard. Although I kept saying I didn't want to marry you, I always thought that maybe one day, a miracle would happen, and we wouldn't have to worry about these things anymore, that I could be with you for life, with no one else standing between us, strolling hand in hand on West Lake. But this is for the best, it completely puts an end to my hopes.”

For over two months, he didn't react to anything I said. Rong Yuwei was getting impatient, and I slowly felt a sense of worry and fear. What should I do now? This feeling was killing me. I threw my hands away from him and said angrily, "Cousin, if you abandon me, I will hate you. Do you know how much I will hate you? I will happily marry Liu Yu. Anyway, Xiaoxiao can only be someone's concubine. Marrying him is the best thing. He likes me very much too. I will have children for him, many, many daughters, all of them looking like me. They will call him 'Dad' every day, and then we will grow old together. I'll make you furious. Do you remember the rouge you gave me? I used the leftover fabric to make two sets of undergarments for summer sleeping. Xiaohe said I would look like a vixen when I wore them, a vixen who seduces men. If you don't care about me, I will wear them for Liu Yu on our wedding night, and then forget about you completely and live my own happy life. Anyway, you don't care about me anymore."

Still no response. Tears, held back for over two months, finally fell. She lowered her head and sobbed softly. Then, her hand tightened around her. Looking up, she saw Cheng Zhuri struggling to sit up. "You… dare?" She embraced Cheng Zhuri tightly. "Cousin, you're finally awake! You slept for so long, you scared me to death!" "Don't cry, Xiaoxiao." His voice was hoarse, but still so gentle. She buried herself deeply in Cheng Zhuri's embrace. Let me indulge in this one last time. Once I leave this room, I'll never have another chance.

“Cousin, I remember what you said. You said you wanted Xiaoxiao to serve you tea and food. For the past two months, Xiaoxiao has been taking care of your medicine, meals, and tea.” “You've been taking care of me for two months? Yuwei agreed?” “Yes, my sister-in-law has to manage the household, so we agreed that I'll take care of you during the day, and she'll take care of you at night. I'll wash your hair later, so you'll feel more energetic. Xiaoxiao will take care of you today. No one knows you're awake except me. Give Xiaoxiao half an hour so we can talk properly. Everything is fine at home now, and Auntie is healthy, so don't worry.” “I'll do whatever Xiaoxiao says.” “Cousin, Xiaoxiao was just talking nonsense that day. I wasn't angry at you. Cousin is a true man, and there's something I've never said: I love you. I'll only love you, Cousin, for the rest of my life. I'd give up my life for you, but I can't marry you as a concubine. I thought I could do it back then, and I wasn't lying to you.” Cheng Zhuri's eyes darkened. “You're still saying things like that now?” "These are my true feelings. Over the past two years, I've seen things clearly and thought them through thoroughly. I've carefully weighed what I'll gain and lose. I love you, but I also love myself. I don't like Rong Yuwei from the bottom of my heart. If I marry my cousin as his second wife, she'll be my everything, and I'll be completely controlled by her. Even while pregnant, I'll have to kneel and pay my respects to Rong Yuwei every day. The child I give birth to after ten months of hardship will call her 'Mother,' but will call me 'Auntie.' Cousin, no matter how capable you are, no matter how much you care for me, can you stop me from kneeling before Rong Yuwei? Stop paying my respects to her? Stop letting our child call her 'Mother'? Rong Yuwei has witnessed the struggles between wives and concubines since childhood and is well-versed in this. I admit I'm no match for her in this regard. Besides, I'm a naturally jealous woman. I want everything. I can't tolerate my man sleeping with another woman more than half the nights of the month." Beside you, I can only endure loneliness and solitude, wondering what you're doing and saying. I might be driven to hysteria by jealousy, my mind filled with scheming and plotting to drive Rong Yuwei from her position as the first wife. Then this family would never have peace again. Would my cousin still like me like this? Even I can't accept myself like this. I hate Rong Yuwei, I hate that she stole you away, but if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. Since we can't change everything around us, let's try to change our mindset. Cousin, although I can't marry you, I won't marry another man. Sharing a bed and having children are incredibly intimate things, and I can't do that with any other man but you. Cousin, please forgive my selfishness and willfulness, please spoil me one more time. Although Rong Yuwei comes from a higher social class than me, I've never felt inferior to her in the slightest. Please let me live with dignity in front of her.” “Knowing it's unfair to be a second wife, and that you'd give your life for me, can't you be a little more tolerant?” I shook my head. "Anything else is fine, but not this. I want to preserve our most genuine feelings and not let anyone destroy them, even if that person is me. Besides, it's not entirely about titles. If it were just the two of us, I wouldn't care about having no title or status. Cousin, I used to ask myself what true love is, and now I know. Love is a sudden flutter of the heart, love is mutual commitment, love is being the only one for life, love is unwavering until death, love is in every little thing in life. Love is also compromise, concession, and even sacrifice, all for the sake of holding hands and growing old together. I've obtained what most people in the world can't. I'm completely satisfied, and you haven't lost me. Some things are in our hearts, intangible and irreplaceable, belonging only to us. I've heard that there's a kind of feeling between people that transcends blood ties, physical intimacy, and romantic love—not family, but closer than family." My wife's love will gradually evolve into familial affection as she grows older. I want to try to stay with you, cousin, in this way. To be honest, it would be a lie to say I wouldn't feel sad seeing you and Rong Yuwei's child in the future. After all, I'm just an ordinary person. But I will try my best because I don't want to leave Chengjia. I've long considered this place my home. Here I have family and loved ones, you, my aunt, Xing'er and Zhuqin, and beautiful memories from the past. As long as I act uprightly and honestly, and have an open mind, I'm certain that Rong Yuwei won't make things difficult for me. Cousin, don't force me to leave. In this world, I have no one else to rely on but you. I only want to rely on you. We can still live together, see each other every day, eat together, celebrate holidays together, and stay up late together. We'll just be together in a different way. I won't leave; I'll be right beside you, just a turn away. I will spend my whole life proving what I said today. “How can we stay together if we don’t get married? Marriage and having children are the natural order of things. Xiaoxiao, you still don’t trust me. If you don’t want to marry now, I won’t force you. I will wait until you are willing.” “Miss, the hot water is ready.” Xiaohe’s voice rang out from outside the door. “Cousin, let’s wash your hair first!” I took Cheng Zhuri’s hand and led him to the outer room. I helped him wash his hair carefully. His hair, washed with Zhuling (a type of herbal medicine), exuded a fresh fragrance. I picked up a cotton cloth to absorb the water and then combed it neatly. We didn’t say a word, quietly enjoying our private time. This was the first time I had seen Cheng Zhuri with his hair down, his long, flowing black hair cascading over his shoulders. His facial features were incredibly soft, and at this moment, he was full of a kind of feminine beauty.

“Cousin, I’m going to inform Aunt and the others now. I’ll go downstairs first.” As she reached the door, Cheng Zhuri’s voice came from behind her, “Xiaoxiao, some things are not up to you alone. Remember, what I said will never change.”

First Edition: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter 41: Growth

Cheng Zhuri recovered quickly and resumed normal work five days later. Rong Yuwei's surname did indeed bring considerable business benefits to the Cheng family. The Hangzhou branch business progressed rapidly, and the rice for the rice shop arrived on schedule. However, things weren't as simple or orderly as I had imagined. After all, she was a married daughter, and now she bore the surname Cheng. The Rong family's methods were far less effective than the Cheng family's. The usual money spent on bribing various officials was still considerable. As the saying goes, "a local official is more powerful than a distant one." Those low-level officials also had families to support. This was an unwritten rule in the industry. If you didn't give them money or gave them less, they would still be outwardly respectful and polite, but secretly they would drag things out as much as possible, always finding various excuses to make things difficult, until you understood and willingly handed over the money.

Cheng Zhuri is busier than ever, with a noticeable increase in social activities outside the home. He often doesn't come home for dinner. I didn't understand, and privately asked Uncle Qi why he still spent so much time on socializing when he had the Rong family as his backer. It turns out that my uncle is now formally handing over the management of the Cheng family to Cheng Zhuri. Previously, he was only responsible for the day-to-day operations of the business, but now he needs to inherit the connections in the officialdom and needs his own network of relationships. Although Cheng Zhuri doesn't intend to tie the future of the Cheng family to the Rong family, circumstances are beyond his control. He can only work hard on the details and cultivate his own network of relationships, but how easy is that? After all, the country belongs to the Zhao family, and maintaining a balance between the various factions has been a common tactic of emperors throughout history. The relationships in the court are intricate, and there are many officials who disagree with Lord Rong's political views. Censor Fan is the most prominent among them, and I heard that the two have been fighting fiercely recently. As the Rong family's in-laws, the Cheng family naturally stands on the opposite side of Lord Fan and others, and has suffered a lot of difficulties behind the scenes. That's just how things are in this world; how many people can truly benefit from everything? Cheng Zhu Ri is now focusing his business on Hangzhou, wanting to expand the market there. In a couple of days, he and Zhu Yue will be heading to Hangzhou to set up a branch of the Cheng family rice shop, taking several experienced farmers with them. Their plan is to develop a second production base in Hangzhou, producing and selling locally, and ideally extending their reach to Fujian. It's good that he and Zhu Yue are going to Hangzhou sooner rather than later. Some of Cheng's business associates, and some relatives, near and far, want to curry favor with the Rong family but lack the connections. Under the guise of drinking and reminiscing, they frequently meet up, hoping Cheng Zhu Ri can introduce them. If they go, Cheng Zhu Ri disdains their requests, and even if they explain, he won't listen; if they don't go, people will say they've climbed the social ladder and don't recognize old friends. It's difficult! After the New Year, Zhuxing will be sent to Shigu Academy. Shigu Academy is the top of the four great academies, having produced many outstanding talents and famous figures. Uncle wants Zhuxing to gain prestige there, hoping he can pass the imperial examinations and, with the Rong family's connections, secure an official position to support Chengjia's future career. Uncle is steadily progressing towards his goal. Life at home seems to have returned to normal, but I know some things have completely changed. I've already decided on something to do these past few days, and I'll do it as soon as Chengzhu leaves. Whether it's preparing for a rainy day or leaving myself a way out, 'hope for the best, prepare for the worst' is my motto from my past life. Thinking back to how spirited I was, and looking at myself now, sigh! I've been corrupted by years of wealth and luxury. It's time to pull myself together. It was a rare nice afternoon, no wind at all. After teaching, I sat with my aunt in the yard to bask in the sun and do some needlework. The October sun felt so comfortable and warm on my skin. "Auntie, whose is that bright red satin cotton-padded jacket with gold trim that Xiaohe is wearing? It looks brand new."

Taking advantage of the good sunshine, Aunt Qin took out many baby clothes and shoes from the cupboard and took them out to the yard to air them, preparing them for the soon-to-be-born child. Xiao He helped her along. Aunt Qin's advanced maternal age brought her both joy and worry. Many children are considered a blessing, and having a child is certainly a good thing, but given her age, even in modern times there are risks. After the initial joy came endless anxiety. She felt very unwell, depressed, with a poor appetite, and quiet, looking very haggard. Aunt Qin said she often had trouble sleeping at night, getting up several times a night. It was better when Uncle was with her; otherwise, she suffered from complete insomnia. Besides teaching, I was almost always by her side, keeping her company, trying to get her to talk, or doing needlework, trying to prevent her from having time to overthink. I didn't know if this was prenatal depression; I had heard in a previous life that this illness could be serious or minor and should not be underestimated.

"It was the first jacket I sewed by hand when I was pregnant with Zhu Ri. I remember how happy your uncle was when he found out I was pregnant. He even picked out the fabric himself, saying that bright red was auspicious. He originally wanted to save it for Yu Wei, but I never expected... sigh!" Aunt sighed softly.

In ancient times, people liked to leave a few pieces of their children's old clothes for their younger siblings or the next generation, believing it to be an extension of good fortune. But was Aunt's idea of this even relevant? The fact that Rong Yuwei hadn't conceived yet, and when Cheng Zhuri would take a concubine, became the talk of the town in Bianjing. Some said Cheng Zhuri was affectionate, others said the Cheng family dared not offend the Rong family, and some even bet on when Cheng Zhuri would take a concubine, both to appease the Rong family and to ensure the continuation of their lineage. Aunt and Uncle were secretly extremely anxious, especially Aunt, who, even six months pregnant, worried about her grandson. Time flew by; I was already 18, and even Zhuyue's wife, Du Xuezhi, was two months pregnant. Zhuqi had also married into the Chen family, a tea merchant in Bianjing. Aunt was the head of the Cheng family, always ahead of the second and third wives in everything, except for the issue of a grandson, which made her feel ashamed. Seeing Du Xuezhi every day made her feel uneasy. She often mentioned to me that Rong Yuwei was good, but her belly was still so uncooperative. She'd seen so many doctors and taken so much medicine, but there was still no sign of pregnancy. At this point, I could only remain silent. Seeing my quietness, my aunt quickly comforted me, "Don't worry too much. I've already prepared your share; it'll be for you and Zhu Ri's daughter to wear later." I smiled and said, "I wasn't thinking too much, I was just wondering if Auntie was carrying a cousin or a younger cousin?"

"It should be a son, he kicks really well. Your uncle also hopes it's a son." The uncle doesn't mind having more sons. "If it's a daughter, that would be good too. Two sons and two daughters, that would make two 'good' characters, and then Auntie would be the most blessed woman in the family, the most fertile woman." She bent down to finish the last stitch on the leaf, trimmed the thread, and the bright red five-blessing longevity bib was finally complete. Five bats surrounded a peach, symbolizing abundant blessings and longevity. "Auntie, this is for my little cousin." Auntie took it and examined it closely. "Your embroidery skills have improved again." Qin Ma also leaned over, looked at it for a while, and praised, "Miss's skills are getting better and better. The stitches are dense, fine, and even. This peach is so lifelike." Suddenly, a thought flashed through her mind, and she suggested, "Auntie, no matter if this baby is a boy or a girl, let's name it Duoduo, representing abundant knowledge, abundant blessings and longevity, and abundant love, what do you think?" "Dodo, dodo..." Auntie murmured several times, then smiled and nodded, "I think it's wonderful. Zhuqin is married, but thankfully you're here with me, keeping me company and helping me pass the time." She finally relaxed her brow, touching her belly. "Now I don't ask for anything else, whether the child is a boy or a girl, as long as it's safe and sound. After the baby is born, the first thing I'll do after my confinement is to arrange things between you and Zhuri. I've already prepared your dowry, just like Zhuqin's! Although you're a second wife, Auntie will never mistreat you. Waiting for Yuwei to give birth before entering the family—who knows how long that will take? You're already 18, a beautiful flower shouldn't wither away like this. Your arrival will bring good fortune to the family, and maybe Yuwei will get pregnant too." Feeling a little anxious, knowing the chances were slim after spending time together, she couldn't help but speak up: "Auntie, I don't want to get married. I want to stay with you for the rest of my life, okay?" "Don't say such foolish things. Women all have to get married. We've already wronged you by asking you for so long. You're worried about getting along with Yuwei, right? I used to think so too, but now I'm not worried at all. Yuwei is virtuous and tolerant. If she were truly that jealous, why would she let you take care of her while she's unconscious? Besides, even if she doesn't want to, so what? She's been married for three years and hasn't given birth yet. As a mother, I can make the decision about my son taking a concubine to continue his lineage." My aunt's expression was unusually firm, leaving no room for negotiation. I had been too naive. Cheng Zhuri was worried about me and wouldn't force me, but I hadn't carefully considered my uncle and aunt. This is an era of arranged marriages; can I handle them? What should I do if they push me into the marriage? Or should I follow Su Mala Gu's example and cut my hair to make a vow? I made such a vicious oath, and I'm still uneasy. Or will I have no choice but to leave in the end? Wouldn't that be very unfair to Cheng Zhuri? "Mother!" Looking up, she saw Cheng Zhuri walk into the courtyard. It was rare to see him at this hour. "Zhuri, why are you here so early today?" "I came back early because I finished my business today. I'm going to Hangzhou in a few days, and I wanted to spend more time with you, Mother."

"You want to see Xiaoxiao, don't you!" Auntie said knowingly. "You've just recovered, so you shouldn't overexert yourself. Spend more time with Xiaoxiao. When you were injured, she took care of you tirelessly, and she's lost so much weight. Look at her face, it's heartbreaking." Just as he was thinking about how to reply naturally, without being too formal or awkward, Rong Yuwei came in with a smile, carrying things in both hands. "Mother, I specially made you some nourishing soup. Your lack of appetite and insomnia are due to deficiency of both qi and blood. This mutton offal soup has ginger, dates, and goji berries added, which are good for your qi and blood. Drinking it regularly will be good for your health." He stood up and excused himself from everyone. "Auntie, Xiaoxiao is a little tired, so I'll go back and rest first." He hadn't even had a chance to sit down properly when his wife showed up at the door. Rong Yuwei's intentions were perfectly clear.

"Then take Xiaoxiao back home. Xiaohe, go to the kitchen and get a bowl of white fungus soup for Miss. Yuwei, come, sit with me. Let's have a good chat." My aunt clearly wasn't trying to create an opportunity for me and Cheng Zhuri to be alone. I didn't even need to look to know what kind of face Rong Yuwei would give me. Sigh, can't I even live a quiet life and protect myself? Cheng Zhuri and I walked silently to the gate of my garden. He seemed to have the same tacit understanding as me. He didn't speak when I didn't speak. I said goodbye to him and was about to go inside when he grabbed me. A helpless smile appeared on his lips: "What's the rush? Why are you avoiding me? Who said we should treat each other like family?!" The man who smiled at me with a radiant smile like peach blossoms blooming all over the mountain was still handsome, but now his temples were gray, and his smile was weathered. He no longer had the radiant spirit of his youth. It felt like a lifetime had passed in just three short years. I longed to stroke those heartbreakingly gray hairs again, but I couldn't. "I heard from Uncle Qi that you gave away your earrings, so I had someone make a new pair. They were just finished today, so I went to pick them up. Knowing that you like butterflies, I specifically asked them to be made in the shape of butterflies." He took out a pair of jade earrings that were entirely green from his pocket. The exquisite openwork carving technique made the two butterflies seem as if they were about to take flight.

I accepted the gift, about to say thank you, but I was captivated by his phoenix eyes. I lowered my head, unable to look him in the eye. Cheng Zhuri, please stop being so affectionate with me; few women in this world can resist your gaze.

Aside from Cheng Zhuri preventing Rong Yuwei from getting pregnant, I know nothing about their other aspects of their married life, nor do I care to know. In front of the whole family, Cheng Zhuri treats Rong Yuwei with utmost respect, only showing concern for me privately, never doing anything to embarrass her. However, after waking up, he acted completely differently, his attitude towards Rong Yuwei becoming strange, and he no longer restrained himself, openly monitoring my eating, sleeping, and traveling—truly pushing me into the fire, roasting me in Rong Yuwei's raging jealousy. Did she misunderstand that I broke my promise? I'm honest and unassuming, usually quiet, maintaining a proper distance from Cheng Zhuri, and keeping my promise through my actions. I can control myself, but I can't control Cheng Zhuri. His eyes always linger on me, as gentle and doting as ever, but now tinged with a hint of heartache and sorrow. I don't understand why he always looks at me with such sadness. His actions only make Rong Yuwei more and more impatient with me, her eyes filled with deep disgust. Only the noble genes flowing in her blood restrain her, allowing her to maintain a facade of composure and politeness. I feel sorry for her; this is a common ailment for women who cannot obtain love—the one they yearn for and painstakingly win has no romantic feelings for them. I feel even more sorry for myself and Cheng Zhuri. What good is our love if we are destined to be apart? Looking at the current situation, can I really live out the rest of my life peacefully as I wish? "Little one, you've lost a lot of weight. How are you sleeping at night? Are you still having nightmares?" Cheng Zhuri reached out to gently stroke my face, as naturally as before, but hesitated under my gaze. He stopped half an inch from my cheek, slowly clenched his fist, and withdrew it to his side. After a long pause, he said softly, "Little one, your cousin is going to Hangzhou tomorrow and might not be home for two or three months. While I'm away, take good care of yourself and spend more time talking with your mother. Consider this my farewell; I'll be going back now." Cheng Zhuri turned and left. Suddenly, a figure darted past the artificial hill—it was Rong Yuwei's personal maid, Dong'er. Had she sent someone to spy on me? (The file you downloaded is provided free of charge by (A)! More great novels available!)

"Who's there?" Cheng Zhuri shouted in a deep voice. Surprisingly, Dong'er showed no panic after being discovered. She calmly walked up to us, bowed, and said, "Young Master, Miss wants to see you." Truly befitting of someone raised in a wealthy family, she remained calm in the face of trouble. Cheng Zhuri narrowed his phoenix eyes, his brows slightly furrowed. "I know. You can go back now." Although his voice was flat, I knew he was angry. "Yes, Young Master." Watching Dong'er's retreating figure, I sighed inwardly. Rong Yuwei, as clever as you are, how could you do something so foolish as to follow someone? This is what men find most repulsive. Regardless of whether he was right or wrong, it would have been fine if he hadn't been discovered, but now that Cheng Zhuri knows, it will only arouse his disgust. Or perhaps jealousy can also make a clever person lose their mind? "Cousin, please talk to Aunt for me. Xiaoxiao doesn't want to get married. She just wants to stay with you and Aunt. Is that really not allowed?!"

I really can't bear to part with him, with our love, and with my aunt. If I really leave, what a blow it will be to them! Not being able to hold hands with Cheng every day is already the greatest pain in my heart. Is it too much to even secretly watch him from the sidelines?

⚙️
Стиль чтения

Размер шрифта

18

Ширина страницы

800
1000
1280

Тема чтения