La collection complète des cercueils fantômes de Yellow River

Chapitre 18

"have no idea."

The screen showed the bustling street below our company building, with people coming and going, constantly entering and disappearing from view. I temporarily stopped asking questions, and Li Yuntong would pause the screen every now and then, pointing to someone and asking if I could see them. About 10 minutes later, the screen ended, and I could see all the people he had specifically pointed out clearly. They were men and women, old and young, and there was even a child under 5 years old. All of them, like Gu Quan, looked travel-worn, with miserable and fearful expressions, their whole bodies shrouded in deep despair.

"What's going on?" I vaguely understood something. "Can other people see them too?"

Li Yuntong nodded.

"Including Gu Quan, they can see it too?"

Li Yuntong nodded again.

“Those people you pointed out to me just now,” I turned to look at Li Yuntong, “are they all like Gu Quan, people who can't be seen?”

Li Yuntong sighed heavily: "Yes."

"What's going on?" I was puzzled. "If I can't see it, how can it be recorded onto a CD? Where did this CD come from? When was it made?" I ejected the CD from the CD drive. It was a recordable disc, and I couldn't tell when it was recorded.

"I took this photo when I got off work yesterday," Li Yuntong said.

"Oh?" I glanced towards the door. Several colleagues had already returned to the company after breakfast, but they weren't near their desks; instead, they were sitting on the sofa reading newspapers and chatting. The busy Monday was over, the company boss wasn't there, and everyone seemed quite relaxed. I urged Li Yuntong to speak quickly, lest there be too many people overhearing.

Li Yuntong filmed these scenes yesterday afternoon. Not long after Ouyang and I went out yesterday afternoon, he returned, having borrowed a DV camera from a client. The entire afternoon, Gu Quan huddled at an empty desk, scribbling and drawing. Li Yuntong, afraid of arousing suspicion, didn't dare speak to him, and he didn't respond either, simply writing on a piece of paper, tearing it to shreds, and throwing it in the wastebasket. Li Yuntong observed him the whole afternoon. Aside from him, it seemed no one else in the company noticed Gu Quan's presence. When Gu Quan stood up to drink water, all his colleagues automatically walked around him. At the end of the workday, everyone gradually left, leaving only Li Yuntong and Gu Quan. Li Yuntong walked towards Gu Quan. Seeing him approach, Gu Quan's expression became very tense, as if he were expecting something.

"Who exactly are you?" Li Yuntong asked.

"Gu Quan." Gu Quan said softly. Li Yuntong told me that Gu Quan's expression and tone at the time seemed very guilty, which made Li Yuntong very suspicious.

"How long have you been with our company?" Li Yuntong continued to ask him.

"It's been three years."

These words left Li Yuntong speechless, a sudden surge of anger washing over him. This man was clearly lying through his teeth. Li Yuntong was a veteran employee of the company and had never met Gu Quan before. Yesterday morning, if the company hadn't been recruiting planners, he wouldn't have so readily assumed Gu Quan was the new planner. He never expected him to tell such a blatant lie.

"Oh," Li Yuntong's tone became less polite after realizing he was lying. He had forgotten Gu Quan's unique physical characteristics at that moment. "Three years? How come I've never seen you before?"

Gu Quan gave a wry smile and said in a low voice, "You'll find out soon enough." After saying that, he looked at Li Yuntong with a sympathetic gaze and sighed a particularly long time, which made Li Yuntong even more unbearable: "No need to wait 'soon,' just tell me now—how come I've never seen you before?"

Gu Quan gave another bitter laugh: "Do you think anyone else can see me?"

These words sent a jolt through Li Yuntong. He suddenly remembered that Gu Quan was someone who couldn't be seen by others; no one had seen him all afternoon. Thinking of this, Li Yuntong suddenly felt goosebumps all over his body, and a tingling, indescribable feeling welled up inside him.

“It’s not fear,” Li Yuntong explained to me. “I can’t quite describe the feeling. It’s a bit like standing on a rooftop looking down and being afraid of falling.” Hearing him say that, I got goosebumps and subconsciously looked around.

“He’s not here right now,” Li Yuntong said.

When Li Yuntong heard Gu Quan say that, she was stunned for a moment, and immediately asked, "What's going on?"

Gu Quan shook his head: "I don't know either." He then stepped into the light, pointing to his shadow and saying, "Look, I have a shadow, I'm not a ghost." This action only made Li Yuntong more confused. He felt he had a lot of questions to ask, but didn't know what to ask. Before he could think of anything, Gu Quan had already turned and walked outside.

"Stop!" Li Yuntong instinctively rushed forward to block his way. His action was merely to temporarily detain Gu Quan; he had no intention of attacking him. Afterwards, he repeatedly reflected on his movements, realizing that while swift, they weren't violent and shouldn't cause any misunderstanding. However, as he stood in front of Gu Quan, Gu Quan suddenly let out an extremely terrifying scream, clutching his head and staggering back several steps. This scream sent a shiver down Li Yuntong's spine, goosebumps spreading across his skin.

"What are you doing? I'm not going to hit you!" Li Yuntong explained, noticing that his voice had distorted slightly from the fright he had just received.

Gu Quan was clearly more frightened than him. His body was trembling, and his voice was broken: "I...I know..." He gasped for breath for a long time before gradually stopping his trembling. During this time, Li Yuntong tried to walk to his side, but he repeatedly shook her off.

"Don't come any closer, I get scared when you get near me," Gu Quan said.

"Why?" Li Yuntong asked, puzzled.

“I don’t know.” Gu Quan looked at him with the same pity and sympathy. “You’ll soon understand what this feels like.” These words, accompanied by Gu Quan’s soft sigh, sounded like an ominous prophecy or curse in the empty office, in the dim twilight.

"Why is it that only I can see you?" Li Yuntong asked.

“I don’t know,” Gu Quan said. “I also want to know why.”

"Then what do you know?" Li Yuntong asked irritably. He felt both fear and disgust towards the man in front of him, but for some reason, he was also filled with sympathy.

"I know..." Whether it was his innate personality or something he had developed later in life, Gu Quan spoke hesitantly. He stared at Li Yuntong for a few seconds before saying, "You want to understand?" Seeing Li Yuntong nod, he smiled. "Everyone is like this at the beginning, everyone wants to understand, but what can you do? You can't understand, and even if you do, there's nothing you can do..."

"How am I supposed to understand if you don't tell me?" Li Yuntong said.

"No need to explain, you'll understand soon enough," Gu Quan said stubbornly.

After several rounds of this tongue-twisting conversation, Li Yuntong finally gave in. He wiped the sweat from his anxiety and said, "How about I take your picture?"

The suggestion made Gu Quan's eyes light up, then dimmed again in an instant: "Will this work?" However, his expression clearly showed that he was not resistant. Li Yuntong quickly turned on the DV and started filming Gu Quan. Gu Quan smiled sadly at the camera: "You want others to see me? This won't do any good."

"Why?" Li Yuntong didn't understand.

But Gu Quan suddenly looked extremely tired and turned to walk out. Li Yuntong turned off the DV camera and chased after him to ask him something, but he waved his hand and said, "So what if I saw it?" He then quickly entered the elevator. Li Yuntong wanted to follow, but he stopped her. Before the elevator doors closed, he spoke again: "Everything you did was in vain, it was all useless, really, it's not like I haven't tried."

The elevator doors closed.

Li Yuntong stood blankly in front of the elevator for a long time, pondering Gu Quan's words. He realized he didn't understand him at all, and even more frustratingly, he hadn't gotten any answers to the questions he needed to ask. However, at least he had managed to film Gu Quan's DV, which was some consolation. Remembering his purpose for borrowing the DV, and seeing that it was already getting dark, he quickly went downstairs. On the street below, facing the passing crowds, he composed himself and recalled what I had told others about how to walk around Gu Quan. He then used this as a guide to search for those "invisible people." Sure enough, he found many such people in the crowd. Each time he found one, he asked those around him if they could see it; if the answer was no, he immediately filmed it with the DV. Over time, he discovered some patterns. He realized he didn't need to painstakingly observe whether people were avoiding a particular individual, because these "invisible people" generally shared a common characteristic—the very characteristic I sensed while watching the footage: their expressions were exceptionally sorrowful and desperate, filled with fear of those around them. This made finding them much easier, and he discovered even more people. Initially, he didn't feel anything unusual; he simply filmed them and even tried to approach them to communicate, but they were unwilling to make contact and would avoid him before he could even get close. Later, he gradually felt something was amiss because there were simply too many "invisible people." Almost every time he passed through a crowd, there was one or two of them, which made him increasingly uneasy. Eventually, he even started trembling and could barely hold the DV camera. He hesitated for a while, glancing around at the crowd. He kept seeing people with sad expressions and looking travel-worn walking by. He walked towards one of them, made up his mind, grabbed the man's arm, and was about to speak when the man shook him off.

"What are you doing?" the man shouted.

Just as Li Yuntong was about to speak, he suddenly realized that everyone around him was staring at him and the man. Several people even stopped and pointed, saying, "This guy's been here for ages, acting all mysterious, filming with a DV camera. Is he crazy?" Judging from their looks, the man he had just grabbed was clearly visible. He tested it again, confirming that the man was indeed not "invisible." This puzzled him; he couldn't understand why the man also had such a sorrowful expression.

"Ugh, how can you not understand this?" I couldn't help but exclaim. "Even if all those who can't see it have that expression, it doesn't mean they're the only ones with that expression. Everyone has sad stories, right? Maybe that guy encountered something really terrible back then!"

"Later I figured it out." Li Yuntong nodded.

Although he figured it out, the onlookers and the man didn't. As more and more people testified that he had been behaving strangely, someone called 110 (the police emergency number).

“That’s how I got taken to the police station,” he said. “If it weren’t for an old classmate of mine working there, I might still be locked up now.” As he spoke, he folded a card. I didn’t pay attention at first, but when I looked closely, I realized that the card was his ID card.

"What are you doing?" I quickly snatched my ID card from his hand.

He paused, glanced at his ID card which he had folded into a mangled mess, and gave an embarrassed smile: "I didn't notice..."

He put his ID card in his pocket and continued talking about what happened next.

After being lectured by his old classmate at the police station, Li Yuntong walked out of the station's gates, and it was completely dark. He waited alone at the bus stop. Besides him, only a beggar wandered around nearby. The rain shimmered under the streetlights, and he was suddenly struck by an intense sense of fear. Recalling the scenes he had filmed that afternoon, he watched the DV footage again and realized how many people he had encountered that afternoon were so different from himself. This feeling made the air around him seem thinner; something thick and heavy seemed to have been sucked away. He felt incredibly small, with no barriers around him, exposed alone in this strangely thin air.

“It was then that I truly realized there were so many unseen people around us!” Li Yuntong said in a hoarse voice. His voice, combined with what he said, made me involuntarily shrink back in my chair, as if the thickening effect he described was gradually disappearing from my surroundings.

“I suddenly felt scared, really,” he said. “It’s embarrassing to admit, but I couldn’t help not being scared. There was no one else around except that beggar, and I couldn’t help thinking that maybe that beggar was one of those people who couldn’t see. You can’t compare them; unless there’s a third person, you really can’t know whether he can be seen or not. I stared at that beggar for a long time. He kept wandering around, and every time he got closer to me, all my muscles tensed up. The bus never came, and eventually, the beggar left, leaving me all alone. I paced back and forth under the bus stop sign, constantly looking around at what was happening. You know what I was thinking?”

"What?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

“I’m thinking, maybe there are many more unseen people around me—maybe I can only see some of them, and there are many more I can’t see,” his voice grew more urgent, “maybe there are people like that all around us, and there may even be far more of them than those of us who can be seen…”

"Stop talking!" I abruptly interrupted him. I was truly terrified, not only by what he said, but even more frightening by his expression. His expression was anything but normal, and I couldn't help but ask, "Didn't you have an appointment with a therapist this morning?"

He was stunned.

I realized I'd said the wrong thing immediately, and just as I was trying to make amends, he had already left my desk. I quickly followed him: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way..."

He seemed not to hear me, tidying up his things on the table and starting to call clients. I pressed the receiver, my face burning, and repeatedly said, "I really didn't mean that."

"Alright, stop talking." Li Yuntong smiled. "Actually, you're not wrong. I'll go see a psychologist now." Before I knew it, he took out his ID card from his pocket and folded it tightly. After I reminded him quietly, he suddenly came to his senses, thanked me, and carefully put away the ID card that was almost broken in two.

I felt extremely ashamed and stood in front of him, at a loss for words. He smiled when he saw my expression, and walked away without saying anything.

Later I learned how he felt, and later I understood why he hadn't said a word at the time.

Later I learned what it felt like to be so lonely when no one believed what you said.

Actually, it's not that I don't believe what Li Yuntong said, but why did I say it? I really don't know; it seems like just a subconscious reaction. People often unconsciously say things they didn't intend to say. The difference is, some words can be undone, while others can never be undone.

I stood there stunned for a while, until my face gradually returned to normal, before slowly turning back to my desk. This incident filled me with intense guilt, to the point that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I was solely focused on waiting for Li Yuntong to return so I could apologize and find out the results of his psychiatric evaluation. I waited all morning, but Li Yuntong didn't return. Ouyang did, though. He glanced at me, tossed me a thick stack of documents, and ordered me to produce two creative ideas by the end of the day. I looked at the documents for a while, gradually suppressing my guilt and turning my attention back to work.

Lunchtime arrived quickly. Just as I was about to rest after lunch, Xu Xiaobing called, saying she had finished her work and invited me to go with her to investigate Meng Ling's situation with Meng Ling's mother at noon. This was something we had planned yesterday, but because of Li Yuntong's incident, I suddenly lost all interest in it.

"She's already disappeared, what's the point of investigating?" I said to Xu Xiaobing with some impatience.

"Huh?" Xu Xiaobing was clearly taken aback by my sudden change in attitude. She paused for a moment, then immediately switched to a cold and angry tone, "You seem quite relaxed. Do you think this is a joke? Can you guarantee she won't show up again?"

No matter what she said, I just couldn't muster any enthusiasm. I just listened silently, holding the microphone a hand's width away from my ear, and I could still clearly hear Xu Xiaobing's sharp and urgent tone. Ouyang, who was sitting in front of me looking at the documents, heard this voice and looked at me: "Who is it?"

"My roommate," I said.

"Are you coming or not?" Xu Xiaobing asked in an ultimatum tone.

I originally wanted to say "I'm not coming" firmly, but after seeing Ouyang, I changed my mind: "Wait here, I'm coming right now."

"Okay, I'll wait for you in front of Wangyue Elementary School." Xu Xiaobing hung up the phone. I put my phone away and tapped on Ouyang's desk: "Come with me?"

"Huh?" Ouyang laughed in surprise. "What crime did I commit?"

"Don't you know Meng Ling?" I laughed too.

"Yes, what's wrong?" He looked at me, puzzled.

"I need to talk to her mother about something. Can you take me there?" I said.

"What's up?"

"Let's talk as we walk."

Before leaving, I checked the time; it was already 12:30 PM. Li Yuntong had left the office that morning, and if he really had gone to the psychologist's clinic, he should be back by now. I had a vague sense of unease, as if something was about to happen. After thinking for a moment, I called him. The phone rang for a long time before being answered, but a woman spoke: "Who is it?"

"I'm looking for Li Yuntong." I looked at the number on the phone—yes, it was indeed his number.

"There's no such person. You've got the wrong number." The other person coldly said this and hung up. I felt something was wrong, so I quickly redialed, but this time the other person had turned off their phone.

Could Li Yuntong's phone have been stolen?

"Should we go or not?" I was still pondering when Ouyang was already urging me at the door. I had no choice but to put the matter aside for the time being and went out the door. When I got to the door, I couldn't help but look back one last time. Li Yuntong's desk was bathed in the bright light streaming in from the window, giving it a feeling of an old photograph, warm and distant, which made my heart skip a beat for no reason.

I have a feeling something is about to happen.

"Are you coming back this afternoon?" Zhang Lan, the receptionist, asked loudly.

"We'll see," I said.

On the swaying bus, Ouyang asked me what I wanted to see Meng Ling's mother for. Of course, I couldn't tell him the truth, so I made up an excuse and started asking him about Meng Ling.

"Why are you so interested in her?" Ouyang found it strange.

"Tell me, how did you meet her?" I forced myself to use Xu Xiaobing's trick—to refuse to answer and only ask what I wanted to ask.

This tactic worked. Ouyang didn't ask any more questions and quickly told me everything he knew about Meng Ling—he had said everything he could before the car even reached the station, mainly because he didn't know much about Meng Ling himself. He and Meng Ling met during a collaboration. At the time, Meng Ling was a teacher at Wangyue Elementary School, and Ouyang was responsible for creating recruitment advertisements for the school. The two had some contact, and Ouyang remembered nothing more than that the teacher was very beautiful and refined. Seeing my unsatisfied look, he quickly explained, "It's not my fault. She's not my type, otherwise I would have investigated her thoroughly."

"Ugh, you're just talking nonsense." I said helplessly.

We didn't say anything more after that. Ouyang leaned his head against the glass window and dozed off. I looked at him and thought about the assumption I made last night. If that assumption was true, then what Ouyang said was completely false. Everything he remembered about Meng Ling was just something Meng Ling created to exist in this world. None of it was real, but he thought it was real, and many more people would think it was real. Perhaps, in the end, Xu Xiaobing and I would also think so.

Li Yuntong, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Everything he said was true, but it all seemed completely fake. No one would believe him, not even himself. If he were to repeat what he had said to me to the psychologist, what kind of diagnosis would the psychologist make? Was there even a question? It was only at this moment that I considered this question, and I was stunned by the thought that had crossed my mind.

Yes, no matter what, any doctor facing a patient saying such things would probably think he's mentally ill, right? If Li Yuntong were more tactful, like Ouyang, adept at reading people, perhaps he could have escaped at the crucial moment. However, Li Yuntong is that kind of person; he will insist that what he saw is the truth, and he might even try to prove it to the doctor. But the more he explains and proves, the more he will appear mentally ill! Yes, that must be it. Li Yuntong is much more mature than me; he must have considered this long ago, which is why he didn't plan to see a psychiatrist today. My heart was clenched, my eyes staring straight ahead, but I saw nothing. All I could see were the images Li Yuntong told me, and the peculiar expression on his face as he spoke—how could I be so oblivious? That expression was clearly filled with fear—I thought this fear only came from what he saw, but now I think, the ability to see these things itself, this special ability, might be what frightens him the most. Why did he come to me to confide in me? What makes him think I would believe him? In any case, he thought I would believe him, or rather, he believed I wouldn't subjectively think he was mentally ill... Perhaps he really wasn't sure if he was mentally unstable, which is why he left it to me to judge? And how did I judge him?