La collection complète des cercueils fantômes de Yellow River

Chapitre 22

The wastebasket was overflowing with torn-in-half papers. I glanced around the office; everyone was focused on their computer screens, and no one paid any attention to me. I pretended to have accidentally dropped something, went behind Lao Liu's desk, squatted down, and emptied the wastebasket of papers.

Without even looking closely, just seeing the glue marks on the papers made my heart pound – these documents had all been torn in half and repaired before, and now they were torn open a second time – they were all contracts, eight in total. The first one was the contract from the Hongmian Group that had recently enraged Lao Liu, and all the contracts were signed by Li Yuntong.

They were torn apart again.

This time they were found in Lao Liu's wastepaper basket. Could it be that Lao Liu tore them up?

Why do this?

Because of Li Yuntong?

I was completely baffled. My mouth felt dry, and my vision blurred. It was as if a huge, dark cave had appeared before me, emitting a rumbling sound of wind. The secret was hidden there, and I could even vaguely see the outline of the truth. All I had to do was take one more step forward…

But I was afraid. I shrank back from the edge of the truth. Some fleeting thoughts, like candlelight in the wind, flickered and quickly went out. I didn't know what I was afraid of—no, maybe I did know. I remembered the times Xu Xiaobing and I discussed these things. We both agreed that these things couldn't be man-made, because it was impossible for so many people to deceive us. Because of this conviction, we were even willing to believe my absurd hypothesis.

However, what's happening now has shaken me.

Aunt Xu, Wei Feng, Lao Liu, Zhang Lan, Xiao Geng... and maybe others, they are all tearing up these contracts signed by Li Yuntong. Is this really just a coincidence? Are there so many coincidences in the world? I don't believe such a thing exists.

However, if all of this was pre-arranged, why did Lao Liu get so angry before? He could have simply kept quiet, and then no one would have noticed.

Why did he say that?

Before I could figure this out, Meng Ling's name suddenly popped into my mind. I seemed to see that night again, when Xu Xiaobing and I were on the sofa studying the information about Meng Ling... information about Meng Ling and Li Yuntong... I really couldn't understand any of this. I vaguely felt that Meng Ling and Li Yuntong were similar in some ways, but when I thought about it carefully, I found that they had nothing in common.

Why did Old Liu get so angry? Without realizing it, I found myself back at that question. If he and Wei Feng had been in cahoots all along, what about the others in the office? Thinking about this, I felt a chill—what if everyone was in cahoots with him? Then his outburst was clearly directed at me alone, because I was the only one who hadn't colluded with him…

I squatted on the ground, lost in thought—I couldn't believe what I had just thought, nor could I disbelieve it, so I decided to stop thinking about it.

Let's just pretend I never saw this. Maybe Lao Liu and his group really are targeting Li Yuntong. I've always despised this kind of struggle for interests. Since I can't understand it, I'll just stay away from trouble.

I slowly walked back to my seat, reflecting on everything that had happened recently. Whatever had occurred, or was occurring, my life hadn't been affected. On the surface, everything seemed normal. As long as I didn't lift the veil covering the truth, perhaps everything would continue as normal. Those abnormal things were never my concern, whether man-made or supernatural—what did they have to do with me? Xu Xiaobing was right. As long as Meng Ling didn't enter my life again, we didn't need to investigate anymore. Some things were too grand; someone as ordinary as me, like a tiny ant, what power did I have to fight against them? Even Xu Xiaobing's words might have been a warning; maybe she was part of it all along—everyone knew the truth except me! I felt a deep resentment, like a ball being toyed with, helpless and powerless. I remembered how seriously I had analyzed things; now, it seemed so ridiculous. Everything was under their control, yet I thought I could change anything.

Let's pretend none of this happened. Those who walk by the water only need to see the rippling blue waves on the surface; why bother about the turbulent waves beneath? After all, the South City is not my own pool of water; I'm just passing through.

I sighed resignedly.

"Why are you sighing?" Xiao Geng asked me with a smile.

I stared at him without answering—was Xiao Geng lying to me too?

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Xiao Geng felt uncomfortable under my gaze.

"It's nothing." I smiled—I don't want to think about it anymore, I don't want to think about it anymore.

For the rest of the time, I focused on the orders Ouyang had assigned me, but my mind often wandered back to these things. Each time, I tried my best to pull my thoughts back to work—I really couldn't think about these things anymore. If I kept thinking about them, my suspicions would expand infinitely, and there would be no one I could trust anymore.

Aunt Xu and Wei Feng came out of the archives. Aunt Xu walked up to me, smiled, and whispered, "Do you like spicy fish?"

"I like it." I glanced at her, then quickly looked away at the screen.

"I made several bottles of chili fish myself, I'll bring you one tomorrow," she patted my head, "Have some with your meals, it's very appetizing."

My heart warmed at her words, and I looked at her gratefully, saying, "Okay, thank you."

"Don't mention it." She waved her hand and slowly returned to her table.

That warm feeling lingered in my heart for a long time. Aunt Xu was so kind to me. In fact, everyone in the company, including the fierce Lao Liu, was very kind to me. Thinking of all the care they had given me, I took a few deep breaths.

I really shouldn't think about those so-called strange things anymore. Let life continue peacefully and normally.

It's almost time to leave work. The indoor light is hazy, as if filtered through a thin veil. Green water droplets are dripping from the tall paulownia trees outside the window. Further away, several high-rise buildings are set against the blue sky. These spring scenes will soon pass by in an instant. In the alternation of one instant after another, time passes and the scenery changes, but some things are eternal.

The phone rang; it was Ouyang calling from the hospital.

"Hello, is this Jiang Ling?" Ouyang's voice sounded less weak.

"Ouyang? Are you still in the hospital? What were the test results?"

"It's nothing serious, just some abnormal electrical activity in my brain, but the doctor said it's nothing to worry about and won't affect my health," he said casually.

"Discharge?" I found that strange. "Was there any explanation for the cause?"

"How could we possibly find that out? Medicine isn't that advanced yet. Okay, is there anything else at the company? If not, I won't go back."

"It's alright, you should get some rest."

I put down my phone and breathed a sigh of relief—it's good that Ouyang is alright. The way he acted this afternoon really scared us—could he have been faking it? This thought suddenly popped into my head, startling me. I quickly banished it—hadn't I already decided not to think about these things anymore?

"Is Ouyang sick?" Several people asked me with concern after hearing what I had just said to Ouyang.

"Yeah, I have a headache, but it's nothing serious."

"oh."

The office fell silent again. I paused for a moment, then continued typing away at the work I hadn't finished earlier.

Every day is spent like this, and every day will be spent like this in the future. Everything is as usual, everything is as usual.

twenty four

The night was very quiet, even leisurely. As usual, Xu Xiaobing and I checked the room for a week, but still found no extra traces. It seemed that Meng Ling really wouldn't be coming back. Xu Xiaobing seemed very relaxed. She even hummed a song while cooking, and surprisingly, she didn't scold me when I accidentally broke a bowl. During dinner, she even suggested that we go to see a movie together.

"What movie?" I wasn't in a good mood because of what happened at the company.

"Any movie will do, just go out and relax!" Her facial muscles were completely relaxed, and her smooth face reflected the light, making her look more approachable than ever before.

"I haven't received my salary yet," I said.

“Oh, I forgot.” She said, sounding a little disappointed.

Seeing that she was in a rare good mood, I didn't have the heart to spoil it, so I said, "You can watch it on the computer; there are many movies online."

"Oh? Then let's eat quickly." She kept her lips tightly closed and chewed faster.

We quickly finished our food, cleared the table, and Xu Xiaobing urged me to turn on the computer. Seeing how excited she was, I was happy too.

We had a slight disagreement when choosing a movie. I like comedies and sci-fi, but she insisted on watching art films, and disdainfully said that everything I watched was trash. Since she was in a rare good mood, I didn't argue with her and chose an art film for her while I read a book on the bed. Seeing that I had nothing to do, Xu Xiaobing went to her room and brought back a photo album, tossed it to me, and told me to pick out the pictures of Meng Ling and throw them away. I had already resolved to get rid of this altogether, and didn't even want to touch Meng Ling's photos, but seeing Xu Xiaobing's happy expression, I agreed.

In the photo, Meng Ling is smiling happily, her bright, sparkling eyes fixed on me. I quickly selected the photos and asked Xu Xiaobing what to do with them. She was completely absorbed in the story and, without turning her head, said, "Throw them away."

I threw the photos into the trash can, one of them flipped upside down. Meng Ling's eyes were still staring at me, making me very uncomfortable. It felt as if I hadn't thrown away photos, but a living person. After thinking for a moment, I simply tore all the photos into pieces and flushed them down the toilet. With a few splashes of water, the shredded paper swirled in the water and disappeared without a trace.

I was finally completely free. I felt a surge of relief and whistled as I returned to my room. Xu Xiaobing was already moved to tears by the story and was frantically wiping her tears with my pillowcase. I quickly snatched it from her and tossed her a pack of tissues.

Still with nothing to do, Xu Xiaobing turned the movie volume up loud, making it impossible for me to concentrate on my book, so I started flipping through her photo album page by page. The album was very old, seemingly used for many years. The photos inside were like a microcosm of Xu Xiaobing's life, including baby photos with her fingers in her mouth, kindergarten photos with pigtails, middle school photos with a bob haircut… all the way up to her current sharp and capable white-collar photos, arranged chronologically. The earliest photos were yellowed, like a distant story, while the newest photos were so clean they didn't even have a fingerprint. All the photos had Xu Xiaobing's name written on them. She always seemed to be a child who didn't like to smile. Except for one photo taken on Children's Day, in the other photos, she had her lips tightly pursed, her brows furrowed, revealing a serious expression. Recently, this serious expression had turned into a stern one, making it even more intimidating to look at.

"Why aren't you smiling?" I couldn't help but ask.

"There's nothing to be happy about. Do you think I'm like you?" Xu Xiaobing's nose was blocked with tears, and her voice was thick with tears.

"Are there any other photos? Let me see." Although the photos here span from her infancy to the present, there aren't many; there's still a little over half an album left unfilled.

"It's gone. All my photos are here."

"Huh?" I was surprised. Xu Xiaobing is already 25 years old this year. In any case, there are only so few photos from 25 years ago, which is really too few.

“Most of the photos here were taken at school and at work,” she said. “I rarely take photos on my own initiative.”

"Why?"

"There's no reason." She seemed to think I was making a fuss, and glared at me as she turned around.

I find it really strange. For me, photos are very important. Time flies, and many things can't be preserved, but photos can capture beautiful moments. I always like to take pictures when I feel the need to keep them as mementos—and there are many such moments. It's quite unexpected that Xu Xiaobing has so few photos. Apart from a few graduation photos and group photos, all her photos are of her alone. From infancy, she has appeared alone in photo albums, right up until now. Even if she were an orphan, this is still very rare.

"Why do you always take photos alone? Don't you take photos with other people?" I asked her.

“I am an orphan,” she said, drawing out her words.

"But don't you have any friends?" I still found it strange.

She remained silent for a long time, her back seemingly straightening suddenly. After a while, she said disdainfully, "I have no friends." As if to emphasize the weight of her words, she turned to me, looking at me firmly, "Is it even possible to make true friends these days?"

I stared at her blankly, making no attempt to hide my sympathy, which angered her. She sneered, "Don't look at me like that. You're just a sheltered kid. You don't know what society is like." Without waiting for my reply, she turned back to watch the movie.

I remained sitting there, lost in thought.

Suddenly, Xu Xiaobing seemed somewhat unfamiliar. She was like someone who had appeared out of thin air, without family, friends, or even a phone call from anyone. The other people I knew, besides themselves, I could at least learn about their relatives, friends, neighbors, and other related people through our interactions—even just a few scattered pieces of information. At least that let me know that other people existed around them. But Xu Xiaobing was different. I tried hard to recall, but I couldn't remember any other information she had ever mentioned to me. Yes, she had never talked to me about anyone she knew, not even a hint of it in her words, as if she never contacted anyone.

She was always so lonely, just like in her photos.

Ah, no, I remember now. She did mention a few people, like Grandma Li, her colleagues at work, and her classmate in Beijing… But it was different. When she mentioned them, it wasn't like when we mention people we know. It gave me the feeling that she didn't know them well either, and that they only contacted her because they were useful to her. That's right, I couldn't sense any interaction with people in her life, never. She never interacted with anyone… I even had a ridiculous thought: maybe she didn't even work at Huinan Technology Company, and her so-called colleagues were all made up, or maybe she had never even gone to school, and even that classmate in Beijing was made up… Thinking about this, I couldn't help but laugh: How absurd! I was letting my imagination run wild.

But one thing is definitely not as I imagine: Xu Xiaobing really rarely interacts with people, and if something suddenly happened to her, I wouldn't even know who to notify.

I wonder if her situation is due to her personality? Or perhaps it's because she lacks experience in interacting with people, which has led to this personality trait?

I stared at her photo. Her eyes reminded me of her behavior this afternoon, when she invited me to dinner. Her eyes held the same expression. At the time, I didn't know what that expression meant; I only felt it touched me. Now I know—that kind of gaze is everywhere in the city, a deep loneliness—a loneliness that lingers even in the midst of a bustling crowd. I've seen that expression in many people's eyes, and I've seen the same expression in my own eyes in the mirror.

The more bustling it is, the lonelier it feels; perhaps this has become an epidemic.

While Xu Xiaobing was watching the movie, I kept having these random thoughts.

Two hours later, the movie's final note played, and on the screen, a handsome man and a beautiful woman embraced happily, tears welling in their eyes. Xu Xiaobing stretched, turned around contentedly, and with tears still in her eyes, slowly pulled her legs, which had been crossed for more than two hours, out from under her body, rubbing them vigorously: "My legs are numb from sitting for so long."

"Is it pretty?" I asked, which was unnecessary.

"Mmm." With a blissful expression, she wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes. "It's so touching, they're finally together."

"Oh? Congratulations!" I clapped my hands. "Want to watch more?"

"I'm not watching anymore." She sat cross-legged on my bed again, full of enthusiasm, and we started chatting. I never imagined I could have such a pleasant conversation with her. Her face shone with joy, and I was in a good mood too. Neither of us mentioned Meng Ling—which was precisely why we were in such good spirits. Meng Ling was a thing of the past, Xu Xiaobing sincerely believed that, and I sincerely decided to forget her. We chatted about many things, about this and that. Although we had different interests, when you really want to talk, you can always find common ground. Countless disagreements arose, but none of them escalated into arguments.

We all enjoyed the chat until the night deepened, and the lights outside the window closed one by one like sleepy eyes. Xu Xiaobing felt drowsy, yawned, and then stopped.

"I'm done chatting, you go ahead and play, I'm going to sleep." She put on her slippers, tidied up her photo album, her feet still seemingly numb, and dragged her feet, sighing as she left my room.

A breeze blew freely in through the open window. I sat in front of the computer, gazing at the deep darkness outside, and my mood improved. This was the most relaxed and enjoyable night I'd had since arriving in Nancheng, and I hoped it would continue to be so. I glanced back at Xu Xiaobing's retreating figure—hoping we could become friends.

In a good mood, I opened QQ. As soon as I logged in, a flood of messages arrived. I hadn't been on QQ for the past two days, and my friends had left many messages. Although these were mostly just greetings or jokes, some even just a simple QQ smiley face, they still made me feel comfortable. At least it meant that there were people in this world who cared about me. Am I lonely? I remember reading somewhere that analyzed the reasons for human loneliness, concluding that because Earth is lonely in the universe, human loneliness is innate. Whether that's true or not, it struck me as very interesting. Perhaps loneliness truly is human nature; no matter how many friends one has, no matter how bustling the world is, loneliness is still inescapable. Everyone is lonely, everyone is trying to escape loneliness—like me, like Xu Xiaobing, like… I thought of some people I had just sworn never to think about again, so I quickly stopped my thoughts and replied to each message.

Unexpectedly, yet seemingly expected, and even with a hint of anticipation, I saw the message about heading west beyond Yangguan Pass. Unlike the simple greetings from others, he sent several messages:

[So, something like that happened around you.]

[This isn't the first time this has happened around you.]

[This won't be the last time.]

[You don't need to look for the answer; it's better if you don't find it. If you do, you'll be in a desperate situation.]

I'm glad you know nothing.