Jeune Premier ministre, un ermite

Chapitre 137

Li Tianqi grew increasingly anxious and haggard; his once handsome and full face rapidly thinned. He stayed by her side, holding her hand, never leaving her side. When he was tired, he would lie down beside her, always waking up with a start just as he was about to drift off to sleep, anxiously looking at her face, checking her breathing, and placing his hand on her heaving chest before feeling a little at ease.

He was overjoyed when he learned she was a woman. But then, that joy gradually faded, and an extreme sense of powerlessness tore at his heart.

When he was a man, he could indulge his emotions, struggling yet pursuing his heart's desires. He could deceive himself into believing it was brotherly love, dreaming of keeping her by his side forever. But now she was a woman. What could he do? His desire to possess her was stronger than anything else, yet he was no longer worthy. As a brother, he could love her, hold her close, but now that she was a woman, what right did he have to hold her? He could give her all his love, and a body that belonged only to her, but he couldn't give her a place that belonged only to her. Proud as she was, how could she share a husband with another? And Lianwu, that poor woman, how could he betray her?

Such heavy, such profound, such life-affirming emotion was stuck in his chest and throat, making it impossible for him to breathe and preventing him from seeing tomorrow.

He sighed softly, stroked her face, and murmured, "Zijun, you can't sleep anymore. Don't torture your second brother anymore."

It was as if my body had been floating for thousands of years, drifting through the chaotic void, adrift in nothingness, with nowhere to hold on. My body was like a leaf in a storm, being swept up higher and higher again and again.

She heard someone constantly whispering in her ear, "Zijun, wake up! Wake up! I'll take you to Lucheng to see your master, to Juyunlou for drinks, and then we'll go sightseeing in Yuhang. Let your second brother watch over you so he can see you every day."

In her endless outpouring, she wanted to respond, but couldn't speak, until she saw her parents, enveloped in a ball of white light. Her father still had that gentle smile, and her mother still said the same thing: "Be a good girl—"

"Father—Mother—don't abandon Jun'er." She was finally able to call out, but what came out was a soft murmur, "Don't abandon Jun'er, don't abandon me."

Opening my eyes, which had been dormant for so long, the first thing I saw was that haggard, sunken eye socket.

Li Tianqi hugged her tightly with joy, large tears welling up in his eyes. "Zijun, you're finally awake, finally awake." He placed his large hand on her face and scooped her up in his arms.

"Second Brother—you're here? Where's my mother? I dreamt of Father and Mother." Wei Zijun clutched his clothes tightly, her eyes wide open, her eyelashes trembling slightly, and her hands shaking a little.

Li Tianqi's gaze darkened, and he remained silent, only stroking her hair with his large hand, again and again.

After a long while, as if she had understood something, Wei Zijun stopped speaking and refused to say a word.

"Zijun, are you hungry?" Li Tianqi asked. She didn't answer, but just tugged at his clothes, her eyes lowered, neither crying nor speaking. He sighed softly and didn't say anything more, just held her and gently stroked her to comfort her.

After a long, long time, she spoke, "Where is the body?" Her voice was hoarse and low, as weak as grass trembling in the wind.

"He has already been placed in the coffin."

"Take me to see it."

Her snow-white clothes fluttered in the wind, as if trying to blow that frail figure into the void. She straightened her body, moved slowly, and tightly grasped the hand that Li Tianqi had helped her up.

When she entered the room where the coffin was placed and saw the enormous sandalwood coffin, she stopped weakly, her legs trembling slightly. The sandalwood coffin seemed so far away to her, gradually receding into the distance through her blurred vision. She reached out and gently lifted the yellow cloth covering the coffin, gazing at the two faces. When her eyes met the blood seeping from their chests, the long-suppressed pain broke down again, and a mouthful of blood spilled out, staining her clothes red. A dizzying sensation ran through her, and her snow-white, beautiful figure fell backward.

...

Just as Lin Huajing had said, she coughed up the blood clots in her chest, which was a good thing. Her face gradually regained color, and Wei Zijun woke up the next morning.

"Where are they?" That was her first question.

“They fled to Tokharistan.” Li Tianqi naturally knew what she was asking.

"Why? Why let them escape?" Wei Zijun asked weakly.

Li Tianqi stroked her hair and gently comforted her, "Because I was so focused on comforting you at the time, I neglected them. Later, I ordered the army to pursue them. After catching up with them in Tokharistan, they fled to Kashmir, and our army could not go there." He took her hand and said, "Zijun, your second brother will definitely avenge you and crush Tibet."

Wei Zijun remained silent, but a determined light shone in her eyes. After a long while, she finally said, "I'm going to Tibet."

Li Tianqi wrapped his arm around her and hugged her tightly. "You're so weak right now that you stagger with every step you take. Where do you want to go? You're not allowed to go anywhere. I'll take care of this. I'll lead troops to Tibet and I'll help you wipe out Tibet."

"Second brother, you are the ruler of the country. How can you act so rashly? Without a ruler, there will surely be great chaos. Second brother, please go back quickly."

"No, I can't abandon you." Li Tianqi looked down at the person in his arms, his affectionate gaze containing a huge vortex that drew the person in front of him into it.

Wei Zijun looked at him and suddenly noticed that his face was very haggard, his eyes were sunken and his complexion was sallow. His once handsome face was now so haggard, and all of this was because of her.

Her hand touched his face, gently wrapped around his neck, and pulled his face into her shoulder and neck.

After a long silence, she said softly, "Second brother, don't do too much for me. There are some things I can't give you. Ziju will always be by your side as your good brother. That's all I can give you. Love your sister-in-law well. She is a pitiful woman."

In that instant, he suddenly burst into tears, for the hopeless emotions that had been buried deep in his heart.

"Second brother...don't cry..."

Meanwhile, in another room, a person lying unconscious on a bed kept murmuring, "Wind—don't cry...don't cry..."

"Where is He Lu?" Wei Zijun asked softly. She hadn't seen him since she woke up, and she was a little worried.

"He caught a cold and got sick." He hadn't expected that while he stayed indoors for two days without going out, the other person had stayed outside for two days without leaving. Actually, he should have expected it, because if he were in that situation, the result would have been the same.

"I'm going to see him." She gently propped herself up and climbed down from his embrace.

As they walked to He Lu's room, they happened to run into Lin Huajing coming out.

Wei Zijun then asked, "Imperial Physician Lin, how is General Zuo Xiaowei?"

"Your Highness, because Your Highness is unconscious, the General of the Left Guard waited outside Your Highness's door in the wind and snow for two consecutive days without moving. He caught a cold and, because he had not eaten or drunk anything, was weak and, in addition, was worried. He has been unconscious and has not woken up."

Standing in the wind and snow for two consecutive days? What a fool! Wei Zijun strode into the room. Because she walked too fast, her weak body swayed slightly, and she hurriedly grabbed the door frame next to her.

The person on the bed had his eyes tightly closed, his long eyebrows furrowed, and his face flushed an unnatural red. He kept muttering in his sleep, "Feng... don't cry... don't cry..."

Wei Zijun's nose stung, and she choked out, "He Lu—" She stepped forward, bent down, and hugged He Lu. The person beneath her had burning cheeks and murmured anxiously, "Feng... Feng..."

"Fool, wake up, I'm here, wake up quickly." Large tears fell on He Lu's face, like the best medicine, and soon the unconscious person was awakened.

"Wind—" the person who had just woken up called out hoarsely, gazing at the face before them, and voicing the longing buried deep in their heart. Even in their unconscious state, this longing had not diminished in the slightest.

"He Lu, get well soon, get well soon, don't make me worry."

“Feng—I’m all better now, don’t worry, I’m all better.” He Lu smiled gently and reached out to put his arm around her neck.

If only I could hold her like this for the rest of my life.

It's snowing again. Snowflakes, as white as goose feathers, are falling one by one, enveloping the world. The air is no longer so cold, and even the biting wind has calmed down.

The slender figure standing atop the city wall looked exceptionally lonely and frail. His pale and tired face was still clean and clear, and his handsome features were still delicate and sharp. However, the trace of heartache and sorrow was something he had never seen before.

Why did I come here in this lifetime?

For a fleeting moment, she thought she had come here only to meet them. But now, they lay dead before her eyes, she watched as a long sword pierced their chests—a scene that would forever haunt her nightmares. In truth, her wish was simple: she only hoped they would grow old and frail, passing away naturally, so she wouldn't be so grief-stricken. Even the thought of spending a few more days with them was a luxury. So, what was the point of her coming here in this life?

She has not yet celebrated the Spring Festival with her parents, they have not yet performed her coming-of-age ceremony, and they have not yet celebrated her birthday.

Large snowflakes drifted down gently. Li Tianqi, who had quietly walked up behind her, gazed at her back. Her thin, slender figure looked so frail in the heavy snow. He just stared at her, letting the sharp pain in his heart cut into his skin. Perhaps, he should let her have some peace.

Just as he was about to turn away, he noticed her suddenly lower her head and cover her face, weeping. Her shoulders trembled slightly, suppressing heavy, broken emotions; her thin body looked so fragile in the heavy snow. He went over and hugged her from behind. "Cry, it'll be alright if you cry it out." He held her tightly, wanting only to meld her into his body, into his heart, never to let her suffer any more harm.

Wei Zijun turned around, hugged him, and burst into tears. All the suppressed emotions, along with the deep sorrow, turned into tear stains on his chest. His chest was warm and broad, comforting her broken and lonely heart.

Large snowflakes fell on their shoulders.

After a long while, Wei Zijun calmed down, wiped away her tears, and said softly, "Second brother, go back as soon as possible to prevent any changes in the country." She hesitated for a moment and then added, "His Highness the Prince of Yue may have ulterior motives, second brother, please be careful."

"How did Zijun find out?" Li Tianqi asked calmly, as if he already knew.

"Zijun overheard it by chance." She didn't elaborate, nor did she want to reveal the affair between the concubine and Li Beiji. She knew he was a smart man and should understand what she meant.

“Zijun, thank you, thank you for telling me frankly.” Li Tianqi’s arm tightened a little. “Second brother already knew about their schemes and had the opportunity to expose them, but after all, we’ve been brothers for many years, and I still couldn’t bear to do it. If he does anything untoward after leaving the palace this time, I will no longer consider our false brotherhood.”

"Second Brother, be careful. Let's go back tomorrow." Wei Zijun gently patted his arm.

“Zijun, don’t worry, I have arranged everything. He will not do anything. I just hope he will not have such thoughts, so that I can retain my last bit of guilt towards him.” He was silent for a while, then suddenly said, “Zijun, he and I are not related by blood.”

Wei Zijun looked up. Not blood relatives? That means one of them isn't Li Luan's son?

Li Tianqi said, "My father was actually Li Luan's elder brother. They conquered the country together, but Li Luan framed my father and took my mother as his concubine. My mother was already pregnant with me at that time, but Li Luan didn't know. Because I was born three months early, I was always considered an illegitimate child. However, they didn't know that I was really not Li Luan's biological son. After my father fled, he wandered the world and repeatedly entered the palace to try to rescue my mother. To protect my father's safety, my mother lied to him, saying that she had changed her mind. My father left in anguish. I traveled the world hoping to find him, but although his reputation was legendary, no one knew where he was."

"Second brother, what is your father's name? Does Ziju know?"

"My father's name was Li Yong, and he was later known in the martial arts world as 'Juyun Sou'."

Wei Zijun stared wide-eyed at Li Tianqi. Could there really be such a coincidence in the world? No wonder he was unwilling to answer when she asked him who ruled the world. So that's why.

"Then... what about Liu Yunde?" Wei Zijun braced herself for another shock.

“He is my long-lost brother. When my mother gave birth to him, someone tried to poison her, so she secretly sent him out of the palace. But things went wrong, and he ended up wandering outside.” Li Tianqi sighed. “My mother, who had fallen out of favor, couldn’t even protect her own child. I saw with my own eyes the male infants born in the palace being killed and taken away one by one. It seemed that only the two of us were lucky enough to survive. When my mother passed away, she told me to find him and treat him well, but all I knew was that he also had such a jade pendant. I worked hard to become emperor and used many means, but in the end, it was all just to avenge my father, seek justice for my mother, and also to provide a safe haven for my long-lost brother.”

"Second Brother, you've suffered so much." Wei Zijun looked at this strong man, who had survived such a perilous and oppressive environment, yet he had become so vulnerable and cried again and again in front of her. A huge emotion surged in her heart, and her eyes quietly welled up with tears.

“Zijun, from childhood to adulthood, from being bullied to standing tall, I have always vowed to sit on the throne. However, there was a time when I wanted to give up. That was after I met you. I suddenly realized that life could be like this, so happy and carefree, so full of joy. At that time, I thought it would be good to be the King of Wu, to build a palace in Lucheng, and to look at you every day. Wouldn't that be a good life? Even though I knew you were a man, and even though I didn't understand my own feelings, I still had such a strong desire to stay by your side. It's strange, isn't it? Hehe... But, as soon as that thought came to mind, you left me…” Li Tianqi’s eyes were wet, but he smiled as he looked at her.

Gazing at his face, gaunt from her presence, and recalling his unwavering devotion in braving wind and snow to travel thousands of miles for her, Wei Zijun felt a pang of sorrow. Her long fingers unconsciously traced his lips, gliding down to his thin cheeks. The tenderness in her gaze was like a gentle spring breeze, like the warm winter sun bathing him completely. Her cool fingertips, smooth and soft, carried a subtle, tingling sensation as they brushed against his face. Her gentle touch possessed a strange power, quietly soothing his sorrowful emotions. Tranquil, peaceful, and refreshing, like a gentle breeze, like the fluttering of butterfly wings, soft and subtle, yet etched into his very soul.

She wasn't completely unaware of what kind of emotion it was. Every little detail, every subtle thread, from Lucheng to Daxing to the Turkic region—the ambiguous and hazy moments that had made her blush and her heart race—was a pervasive, gentle intrusion, gradually encroaching upon her body and soul. However, she had become so accustomed to these subtle interactions that she had almost ignored the feeling. Only when this emotion was forced into the open, when she was forced to confront it, did she suddenly realize its presence; it had seeped in unnoticed, little by little. She had simply been deliberately ignoring it.

Her hand slid down to his cheek, behind his ear, gently cupped his neck, pulled his face down, and brought her lips to his. Her soft lips, like the finest silk, gently caressed the corner of his lips, carrying her tenderness as they pressed against his cheek.

This was the only thing she could give him, no matter how intense or subtle the emotions in her heart were. This was the only thing she could offer. It was just a light kiss, yet it contained all those unspeakable feelings.

After a long silence, she said softly, "Second brother, this is all I can give you. Zijun knows your feelings. I am not a heartless person. I will always stay by your side and be your good brother. But this is all I can give you. Love your sister-in-law well and take good care of her. She is a pitiful woman."

Wei Zijun released him and turned to leave.

"Zijun—" Li Tianqi called softly, stopping in his tracks as he looked at her, "If, without Lianwu, if I weren't the emperor, would you have chosen me?"

Wei Zijun remained silent for a long while before softly saying, "If Second Brother were just Second Brother and not an emperor, if Second Brother didn't have Second Sister-in-law, didn't have women in the harem, if Zijun were a woman... yes!" She took a step forward. "But, Second Brother, there are no 'ifs' anymore. Sister-in-law is a pitiful woman, and neither of us could possibly hurt her. Since you made a promise to her, you must keep it. Besides, we are both men, so Second Brother, put your mind at ease."

A sudden, sharp pain shot through his heart. She was still lying to him. She didn't believe him, didn't believe he could protect her, didn't believe he could handle everything, didn't believe he could spare the Wei family from punishment. She simply didn't believe him.

So be it. If she doesn't believe him, he won't expose her. He hopes that one day she will tell him on her own. But what's the point of waiting? He is ultimately not worthy to love her.

Volume 3, Dayu Chapter 124: Breaking Through

The winter night sky is clear and cold, with numerous stars casting a chilly glow that, along with the cold moon, reflects a faint light onto the vast snowfield.

While the people of Dayu were preparing for the Spring Festival, Wei Zijun's two older brothers transported her parents back to Dayu for burial. As the saying goes, burial brings peace, and Wei Zijun's heavy heart finally found some solace. However, she did not return with them, for she had more important matters to attend to.

When He Lu fully recovered, the two men inevitably ended up fighting. Wei Zijun knew they were fighting because of her, which threw her into turmoil again. However, she didn't want to sort it out. She still had a family feud to settle, and the path of revenge might be fraught with danger. How could she have the leisure to think about personal matters?

The pale moonlight enveloped her elegant, moon-like figure. Wei Zijun took a deep breath; the chill of the outdoors invigorated her, the cold air stinging her nose and making her nasal passages ache. She thought of the Western Turks she loved so dearly, the land and people she cherished—would this temporary separation only lead to a day of reunion?

Gazing silently at this world, she imprinted the vast snowfield and inky blue sky into her mind, then slowly turned around. Just as she was about to return, she noticed a white figure standing by the stables, the person with their arms around Tesaru's neck, quiet and motionless.

Wei Zijun walked over and asked, "He Lu, why aren't you asleep yet?"

He Lu raised his head, his eyes slightly moist.

Wei Zijun raised her eyebrows. "Missing Tesalu? If she really misses it, then let's send it back to you. Anyway, there are plenty of good horses here."

“No.” He Lu’s bright eyes stared at her. “It has your scent on it, because you rode it, because of you.”

Wei Zijun's nose tingled with emotion. "He Lu, go back to sleep."

He Lu gazed at her, motionless, then hugged her. "I missed you—"

"Silly boy, what are you thinking? Aren't I by your side every day?" She gently patted his back, her voice slightly nasal.