Baozi chuckled as he touched his chopsticks and asked, "Where do you guys want to stay?" That chuckle was eerily unsettling. Jin Shaoyan's life hung by a thread; if he uttered the name of any bathhouse, Baozi's chopsticks would fly at him with a "biu."
Jin Shaoyan stopped his mischievous grin and said seriously, "I'd like to invite everyone to come back to the hotel with me. I'll book a few more rooms so we can play all night. When we're tired, we can go back to our rooms and sleep."
Before I could even voice my opinion, most of the five people in the group voted in favor. These guys, especially the men, knew that following Jin Shaoyan was the right thing to do. Actually, I didn't want to go. Taking these five people to a hotel, especially after we parted ways at night, who knew what might happen? But touching Baozi's soft waist, I hesitated. If I kept holding back like this, I might end up with the name of that character in a Stephen Chow movie: Sauce Explosion.
Chapter Thirty-Three: The God of Gamblers
Jin Shaoyan is currently staying in a four-star hotel, which surprised me greatly. He said that if he stayed in a five-star hotel, the chances of running into acquaintances would be too high.
Actually, a true four-star hotel is quite luxurious. I was worried our group of five would embarrass ourselves, but I was completely wrong. Qin Shi Huang merely nodded slightly in satisfaction upon entering the hall; Liu Bang pointed and commented that a White Tiger should be placed here to suppress the Tai Sui, and a Suanni should be placed there. These guys are used to an electrified and automated world; architecturally speaking, nothing catches their eye. Qin Shi Huang only showed curiosity about a row of clocks at the front desk. After I told him it showed the time in different parts of the world, he scoffed, "Unification, huh? It's a mess." He's incorrigible; he still wants to lead his million-strong Qin army to unify the world. This guy is seriously disrupting world peace.
Thanks to Jin Shaoyan's intervention, we checked in without registering, which reminded me that I should find a friend who makes fake IDs to get one for each of the five of us.
We all rushed into Jin Shaoyan's room. This luxurious 300-square-meter residence made Jin Shaoyan feel quite aggrieved, even though it had a cinema that rivaled a movie theater, a bathroom that automatically dispensed water and provided massage with the touch of a finger, and a bridge room for entertaining friends. Jin Shaoyan said he had never lived in such a depressing place before. Every morning when he woke up and saw the ceiling less than 3 meters away, he felt like crying; he felt like he had been exiled.
I can somewhat understand why Kim Il-sung is so disliked. He's the kind of person who doesn't even need to shake himself after urinating. The luxurious life he lives is something I can only dream of. If I were like him, I'd probably be even more repulsive.
Jin Shaoyan said, "Let's play bridge. Eight people, just enough for two tables." Then he asked me, "Do you know how to play bridge?"
I replied, "I've heard of it, but I've never seen 25,000 li." Bridge, is that something just anyone can play?
Jin Shaoyan laughed: "Actually, it's really not as fun as playing mahjong. Let's play two mahjong tables then."
This time it was my turn to laugh: "Who do you think is good at playing among those five?" I asked him in a low voice, "When did mahjong come about?" Jin Shaoyan shook his head.
Of these five people, only Li Shishi had ever seen tangrams. If you wanted to play with them, you'd probably need a pen holder and a few pairs of disposable chopsticks to play pitch-pot.
Baozi exclaimed dramatically, "No way? Eight people are playing mahjong and we're still one short?"
I said, "Let's just have the three of us play Texas Hold'em."
At this moment, Li Shishi walked over and chuckled, "Can't you learn if you don't know how?" This woman, relying on her intelligence, always carried an indomitable spirit. Women conquer the world by conquering men; she had already achieved that and found it irrelevant. Now, with another world before her, she seemed more easily excited.
Baozi eagerly set up the table and chairs, took out a mahjong set from the cabinet in the game room, poured it out with a clatter, picked up a tile, rubbed it, and slammed it on the table without even looking at it, saying, "One of Bamboo!"
As expected, she's a one-trick pony—actually, she's only good at sneaking around; she's terrible at cards.
Jin Shaoyan explained the rules in a gentle, ingratiating tone, and Li Shishi nodded, saying, "Let's try it out first."
Aside from a slight hesitation in ponging and konging, Li Shishi played her cards surprisingly well. Meanwhile, Xiang Yu rummaged through the liquor cabinet, pulling out a considerable amount of foreign liquor and becoming his own bartender. Qin Shi Huang and Jing Ke watched television, while Liu Bang wandered aimlessly through the rooms like a ghost.
After one round, Li Shishi, aside from not being able to draw cards like Baozi, was practically like a concubine who indulged in this game every day. After another round, Baozi began to lose.
Jin Shaoyan said, "Just playing like this isn't fun, let's make a bet."
Gambling is definitely out of the question; this family is all supported by Jin Shaoyan's money, so winning or losing is meaningless. Baozi said, "Let's stick on some notes."
What a bet filled with warm childhood memories! Everyone agrees.
Then Baozi perfectly illustrated the saying: "You reap what you sow." After three rounds, her face was so heavily pasted that it was practically invisible—but it looked much better that way.
Liu Bang, having grown tired of strolling around, moved a stool and sat behind Baozi. After watching for a while, he became interested. When Baozi played a 6 of bamboo, Liu Bang grabbed it back for her, saying, "Everyone's playing bamboo, why can't we play bamboo? How can you be so stupid?" Then, without consulting Liu Bang, he played a 2 of bamboo.
Baozi said with dissatisfaction, "I still have a use for that card."
Liu Bang said, "You've thrown away all four of them, why are you keeping this one?"
My head almost hit the pile of cards. That Liu Bang guy, he's got a real knack for mahjong.
Baozi was also puzzled: "Didn't you say you didn't know how to play?"
Liu Bang said casually, "You'll know how after watching a couple of rounds, won't you?"
Holy crap, even more formidable than Li Shishi! A new generation of gambling god was born.
Then, Liu Bang played the role of Zhang Liang back then, helping Baozi conquer cities and territories, and in no time the three of us were completely humiliated. Baozi simply gave up his chair to let him play. After Liu Bang took over, he showed no signs of being blinded by his own involvement, and ended the game in one fell swoop: "We've all lost face!"
Jin Shaoyan laughed as he took the note down and said, "I'm not playing anymore, Brother Liu is too ruthless." Liu Bang smugly said to Baozi, "Impressive, right?"
I stretched and said, "Go to sleep, everyone." Actually, I wasn't sleepy at all. I glanced at Baozi, and she gave me a flirtatious look.
Jin Shaoyan said understandingly, "Here's the room key. You and Baozi go first."
Li Shishi stood up and said, "I'm a little tired too." Jin Shaoyan bowed and said, "I'll take you back to your room."
The four of us came out together. Jin Shaoyan opened the door for Li Shishi, and Li Shishi slipped inside first. Holding onto the door frame, she said gently, "It's getting late, everyone should get some rest."
Even after the door closed, Jin Shaoyan was still in a daze. I hugged Baozi, stamped my feet, and pounded my chest, laughing as I said to him, "Serves you right!"
Baozi laughed and said, "Come knock on the door again after we're gone. If she still doesn't let you in, you're completely out of luck." What kind of woman is this?
As soon as we entered the room, without even changing our shoes, I threw Baozi on the bed with her in front of me, panting, "I'm going to kill you today—" I threw off my shirt and pants, and Baozi propped herself up on the bed with her hands, looking at me and laughing.
"Take yours off too." My two thumbs were already gripping the waistbands of my underwear, and if I bent down, I'd look like the statue of David.
Baozi said, "Today I..."
I pounced on her, chuckling lewdly, "Let me taste whether you've become sweeter or saltier." With that, I grabbed her buttocks and used my teeth and tongue to unbutton her pants. Baozi, panting heavily, said, "Today I..."
I gnawed at Baozi's genitals like a greedy wolf shoving its mouth into its prey's spleen. Baozi groaned as if in great pain, and after struggling for a while, she finally managed to utter a coherent sentence: "I'm on my period today."
I remember my eyes welled up with tears then. I looked up at her, and said hopefully, "Don't joke around!"
"Really, I want to too."
I asked urgently, "Then why did you seduce me?"
"It was just a little flirting, I never intended to go to a hotel."