"Go take a look; it will do you good."
This is getting complicated; the other party is completely unreasonable. I don't know what's so great about this lousy bar that it's worth risking everything for.
I stood in the corridor for a while, lost in thought, before realizing that all the heroes were asleep. Where was I supposed to sleep?
I pushed open the door to a private room, and there were burly men sprawled out, their snoring so loud it could knock me out. My plan was to sleep 52 people, but Du Xing, Dai Zong, and Shi Qian weren't there, so including me would be just right.
I had just opened the door and searched half the room when Hu Sanniang came back to her room after using the restroom. She was still wearing jeans, but when I looked up, I almost fainted. She was only wearing an unbuttoned shirt, and underneath, she wasn't wearing a bra. When she saw me in the hallway, she casually pinched the middle of her shirt with her hand, and as she walked, her rounded breasts appeared and disappeared, and with a slight breeze, her delicate waist was completely exposed.
She was still a little sleepy, but seeing my discomfort, she stood in front of me, tilting her head to look me up and down. Suddenly, she nudged my chin with her index finger and teased me with a mischievous grin, "Want to come inside with me?" Her hair, usually tied up, was now loose and flowing in waves over her shoulders, with a few strands dangling into her loose shirt, making me feel ticklish. Waves, waves, so very bouncy!
However, I dare not easily believe what she says; I know she loves to play games with people. That's not the problem; many things are made real through deception, right? The problem is that I also know this woman is ruthless; it wouldn't be good if she made me a eunuch because of her deception.
Seeing my hesitation, she said disappointedly, "Never mind, if you're not coming, I'll close the door."
I didn't think at the time, did she really need to open the door?
Right now, all I can think about is the joy of meeting heroes and heroines in the martial arts world, and how doors are opened for you. And I have a misconception about women in the Song Dynasty: that all beautiful women are prone to loneliness. Look at Yan Poxi, look at Pan Jinlian, look at Pan Qiaoyun… Hu Sanniang, a young married woman, is now extending a vague invitation to me—how can I not be filled with lust?
Also, I just remembered that when I was arranging the people, I forgot about the woman. In other words, according to the original arrangement, I should have been in the same room as Hu Sanniang.
As Hu Sanniang entered the room, she gave me a flirtatious glance before slowly closing the door. I stamped my foot and said, "...Then I'll just have to make do here for the night."
That night, I entered Hu Sanniang's room and soon began to pant heavily. My body heaved, and large beads of sweat rolled down my face. I gasped, "...Third...Third Sister, I really can't take it anymore." Hu Sanniang said seductively, "No, I want more..."
"...Really...I can't take it anymore...huff huff..."
"Are you even a man? Get up and keep going!"
It wasn't until dawn that Hu Sanniang sat on the bed and said, "You only did 200 push-ups in one night, and you still dare to cheat on me? You even want to learn kung fu, huh?"
I said regretfully, pounding my fist, "I really just wanted to sleep in one night."
Hu Sanniang threw a pillow on my head: "You just want to sleep one night, don't want to take responsibility, huh?" She tossed her hair, inadvertently revealing her delicate collarbone and deep cleavage, but this time I had no such wicked thoughts. After doing 200 push-ups, my limbs were completely unable to cooperate with any other movement.
When Hu Sanniang kicked me out of the room, she said that if she ever found out I had done something to betray Baozi, she would confiscate a certain part of my body. Women these days have no sense of subtlety at all. Look how nice girls were back then; they would blush and say things like, "You're bad, you're bad," or "I'm never talking to you again"—Hu Sanniang must have been a woman of the past.
Oh, by the way, she's a bandit, so she's different. From now on, I'll treat her like an older sister!
I had just walked unsteadily through two rooms when the door to the private room opened, and Zhang Shun, Ruan Xiaoer, and Ruan Xiaowu came out. They greeted me with refreshed expressions: "Xiaoqiang, up so early? Shall we go swimming?"
I stumbled and bumped my head against the wall. Swimming? I did push-ups all night, and now I'm going swimming?
Zhang Shun led the way, and the Ruan brothers dragged me out the door like the wind. Facing back, my face was as resolute as a loyal minister being dragged out of a grand hall. I struggled to point at a breakfast stall and shouted, "Let me have one last fried dough stick..."
The three of them were hungry too. The four of us ate 20 fried dough sticks, while they each only ate 3. This was the first time I had ever shown that I was better than the heroes of Liangshan in some way. After the old man brought me soy milk, I really wanted to just bury my head in the bowl and drown.
It's Sunday, and the swimming pool was already quite crowded early this morning. I took the three of them to the entrance of the swimming pool and bought them swimsuits and swimming caps. I also bought myself an extra pair of diving goggles.
At the ticket booth, they seemed to have already smelled the moisture and started to get excited. In the changing room, as their host, I really wanted to remind them of something, but I opened my mouth for a long time without being able to think of anything to say. Finally, I reminded myself: whatever you do, don't go to the deep pool!
When we entered the swimming pool and looked at the calm, mirror-like blue water, they didn't cheer and jump into the water as I had imagined. Ruan Xiao'er subconsciously covered his private parts and said awkwardly, "Why are there women here?"
I saw several women of varying ages swimming breaststroke in the pool. One of them had a fantastic figure and was wearing a black swimsuit. She was swimming around in the deep end like a mermaid, but unfortunately, I couldn't see her face.
Seeing that the three of them hesitated, I sneered, "You've been here for quite a while now, don't tell me you've never seen a naked woman."
Ruan Xiaoer said with shame, "This is really the first time I've ever seen this..."
"Hey, everyone's on their own. Why are you bothering with them?"
Zhang Shun gritted his teeth, took a running start, and leaped into the water, letting out an excited shout the moment he entered. The Ruan brothers followed closely behind. I had just reached the edge of the pool when I saw the three of them had already swum to the other side. Turning back, Zhang Shun stood steadily in the water, wiping his face, and said, "Xiao Qiang, why aren't you coming down?"
I chuckled and said, "I can't swim."
Zhang Shun gasped for breath and said to Ruan Xiaoer, who had just popped his head out, "Xiaoqiang said he can't swim."
Ruan Xiaoer: "Huh? There are people who can't swim?"
I retorted indignantly, "Even Li Kui couldn't swim!"
Zhang Shun splashed water at me and laughed, "You mean I should go up and compete with you in land-based kung fu?"
With a splash, Ruan Xiaowu popped his head out of the water. He said, "This water is too stagnant, and there are no fish in it." Then he sank back down.
Zhang Shun splashed another handful of water over: "Come down and play for a while. We can't just waste money on tickets, can we?"
I said, "It's better to waste money on a ticket than to waste money on a ticket and then drown." I saw that Zhang Shun was about to pull me into the water, so I quickly ran to hide in the shallow pool. I splashed around and splashed until my nose and mouth were full of water. When I felt I couldn't hold it in anymore, I stood up and the water was only up to my knees.
But once there were too many people, I got bored. Several children were pawing at my feet with plastic ducks, while the adults on the bank watched their children play and played themselves—they were all amused by my antics. I finally climbed out, feeling utterly disheartened, and sat dejectedly on the edge of the deep pool. Zhang Shun said a few words to me in the water, then suddenly sank; it turned out that Ruan Xiaoer had pulled him down by the feet.
The newly arrived lifeguard didn't pay much attention at first, only blowing a whistle as a warning. But when the two didn't emerge after nearly 40 seconds, the lifeguard panicked and ran to me, anxiously peering into the water. I splashed water with my feet and told him, "Don't worry about it. Those two are amphibians, fish that live on land. They can stay in the water until you get your paycheck next month."
Standing on the bank, I could vaguely see Zhang Shun and Ruan Xiao'er swirling and fighting in the water like two dragons, occasionally stirring up dark ripples in the surrounding water. Ruan Xiao'er's water-walking skills were truly exceptional; almost half of his body could be above the water, just like I had been standing in the shallow pool earlier. Given time, he'll be able to walk entirely on water, which is probably the legendary "walking on water without leaving a trace."
I asked Ruan Xiaowu to call the two of them up. Ruan Xiaowu scrambled a few steps and walked from the water to the shore like climbing stairs, saying, "I don't care, you can go by yourself if you want. I'm going to the toilet."
Xiao Wu is so kind; he knows not to relieve himself in the pool.
That lifeguard had completely lost his mind; he stood there in front of me, mouth agape, completely motionless. Many people passing by asked, "Who's that statue?" After a long pause, the lifeguard finally managed to say, "Are you sure those two aren't the dolphins you brought?"
Just then, a figure silently sat down beside me. I turned my head and saw it was the stunningly beautiful black mermaid. Now I could finally see her face clearly; it was a flawless oval face with large eyes almost as big as her mouth, long eyelashes glistening with water droplets, and short hair neatly tied back. She looked to be around eighteen or nineteen years old, truly a breathtakingly beautiful young woman.
Now I have the same expression as that lifeguard from before. When she saw me looking at her, she smiled politely at me and said, "Hello, my name is Ni Siyu."
I waved at her, feigning a dazed expression, "Hi—my name is Xiaoqiang." But Ni Siyu clearly didn't care what my name was. Her eyes were fixed on Zhang Shun and Ruan Xiaoer playing underwater as she asked, "What's your relationship with those two?"
Overwhelmed by frustration and vanity, I blurted out without thinking, "Those are two good-for-nothing bastards I taught."