Xiang Yu said somewhat absentmindedly, "Oh... fine."
Given his personality, it was truly unexpected that he would agree to leave so soon after seeing the woman he had longed for, Yu Ji. I noticed his hands were trembling; the fearless King of Chu seemed to be—afraid!
Yes, it was fear. What was frightening wasn't just separation; sometimes, reunion could even make people feel estranged. Besides, he and Yu Ji had been separated for far too long—not just months or millennia, but also life and death.
Xiang Yu had been searching for Yu Ji, and now that he had found her, he was afraid. Is this what they call being tormented by gains and losses?
I dared not let Xiang Yu drive again. He sat beside me, gripping the handrail in silence.
We returned to the pawnshop, and Liu Bang was already back. I immediately put up the door panel to indicate that we were closed for the day.
I went upstairs and placed a plastic bucket of Five Star Gin in front of Xiang Yu. He waved his hands vigorously and said, "I can't drink now, I can't drink, I need to think about things."
I dragged Liu Bang out of the room where he was texting Black Widow, and kicked the power cord out of the room where Qin Shi Huang and the others were playing games. I went to the living room and saw that the group of five was all there. I asked Xiang Yu, "Are you alright?" Xiang Yu had calmed down a lot and nodded.
"Alright!" I slammed my hand on the table, startling everyone. I put my feet on the stool, struck a pose like a mountain eagle, cleared my throat, and said loudly:
"Today, Brother Yu has found Sister-in-law Yu Ji. Three of you here understand how important Yu Ji is to Brother Yu. Brother Ying and Ke Zi, you don't need to know who Yu Ji is, you just need to understand that Brother Yu loves her very much."
"However, the biggest problem now is that Sister-in-law Yu Ji no longer recognizes Brother Yu. She's a dance student at school. So, our primary task now is to help Brother Yu and Sister-in-law Yu rekindle their romance. We call this 'picking up' here—" I took my feet off, put my hands on my hips, and gave a concluding speech, "From now on, we're going to help Brother Yu woo Yu Ji!"
Chapter Eighty: Reminiscences of Bygone Days
I glanced at the group of five, and they all seemed pretty amateur when it came to picking up girls. Qin Shi Huang probably never actively pursued women; his two romances were interspersed within his tyrannical history, and are absolutely not a model to follow. Am I supposed to build a "Zhang Bing Palace" (a reference point for a legendary imperial palace)?
Liu Bang might be a bit better than him, after all, he came from humble beginnings, but I can't bear to delve into what happened to him that cultivated such a unique aesthetic concept.
Jing Ke, it's said, had a rather ambiguous relationship with Princess Yan Dan, but that's probably just a rumor. Another possibility is that Princess Yan Dan used a honey trap at the behest of Prince Dan. The most likely explanation is that the princess was actually extremely ugly, and she harassed Er Sha every day. Er Sha, unable to bear it any longer, didn't even wait for the swordsman Gai Nie, who was supposed to come to his aid. He went to the Yi River, thinking he was about to escape the princess's clutches, and excitedly sang: "The brave warrior departs, never to return." Seeing my intense gaze, Er Sha turned off his transistor radio and shifted uncomfortably.
Xiang Yu, the person in question, was admired by Yu Ji for his bravery in battle—a classic case of hero and beauty. In fact, women have a natural fascination with men skilled in combat, which aligns with Darwin's theory of evolution and the natural principles of mating. Of course, with the impact of the economic boom brought about by reform and opening up, this view of women has completely changed. Fortunately, Baozi is a traditional person, and I won her over with a brick. That brick hit someone else's head, but it hit her heart. She later told me that she felt a man who could hit someone wasn't entirely heartless. A very simple dialectic, but not one to be encouraged.
Li Shishi... she was seduced, so we can ignore her!
First, I gave a brief recap of the events, explaining how Liu Bang and I discovered Yu Ji. Then I said to Xiang Yu, "Brother Yu, you really need to thank Bangzi for this. If he hadn't seen your sister-in-law, you would never have seen her again in your life."
Xiang Yu looked at Liu Bang and said, "After this matter, our grudges will be wiped clean." Liu Bang quickly stood up and said with a smile, "That's very good, very good."
I said, "Let me explain. Yu Ji's name is Zhang Bing now. We'll use this name for now for convenience. From now on, we need to work together to help Brother Yu get things done. Let's learn about Zhang Bing's background first. Cousin, you know more, so you can introduce her."
“Okay,” Li Shishi stood up. She had a book tucked under her arm, looking like an office lady from a planning department. She said, “Zhang Bing is a junior at C University, majoring in dance. From what I’ve observed, her personality is ‘half bright, half melancholic.’ She likes to read, and the people in the library know her very well.”
I hesitated before saying, "Let me add something... she... she grew up here..." Then I immediately looked at Xiang Yu. He didn't react, his brows furrowed as he listened intently to what we were saying.
"Brother Yu, let me ask you a question... If Zhang Bing only remembers that she is Zhang Bing and has no memory of Yu Ji at all, would you still love her?"
Xiang Yu rested his chin on his fist and said naturally, "A Yu is A Yu. Whether she remembers me or not, it's the same. Even if she turns into a cup or a pair of chopsticks, I will still love her the same."
I tentatively said, "Have you ever thought that since she grew up eating hamburgers, it's possible she's not really your Yu Ji?" If you're going to do something, you have to do it drastically; you have to give her a heads-up beforehand.
Xiang Yu lowered his head and said, "Zhang Bing is A Yu, I know that better than anyone else."
"Wait a minute," Qin Shi Huang suddenly said, "So, you're saying that there's only one Yu Ji. If you don't run into her, Xiang Yu won't be able to find her at all when he drives away?"
Wow, he figured out such a complicated problem.
I cleared my throat and said, "Let me take this opportunity to make things clear to everyone. This is not some immortal realm at all. I am a human, just like you, not a god. As for the era and such, I can't explain it to you in a short time. I will explain it to you later."
Liu Bang glanced at everyone and said in a low voice, "Anyway, I already knew that."
I pointed at Jing Ke's semiconductor device and said, "Kezi, throw it away. There's no little man inside."
Jing Ke hugged the semiconductor to his chest and said, "I'll just pretend it exists."
As long as I don't wake up, the world doesn't exist—that's a truly high level of foolishness.
I noticed that they didn't seem disappointed, probably because they had already guessed their situation. After all, apart from the two idiots, everyone else present was definitely smart enough.
I was suddenly a little touched—they knew all along that I was just an ordinary person, yet they were still willing to treat me like a friend. Especially Qin Shi Huang, who could actually tolerate Baozi calling him "fatty."
The situation is a bit awkward. Should I not bring this up?
Qin Shi Huang patted Jing Ke on the shoulder and said, "Aren't you going to kill him?"
Suddenly, Jing Ke reached into his pocket. I was shocked and exclaimed, "Ke Zi, what are you doing?"
Jing Ke then took 200 coins from one pocket and placed them on the table, saying, "This is mine..." Then he emptied the other pocket, saying, "This is yours..."
We had no idea what he was going to do, but then we saw Jing Ke fiddling with the two bills on the table, and finally he said, "I was supposed to return four bills, but you took two of mine."
Qin Shi Huang scratched his head sheepishly: "I've never even had any oil to eat."
Jing Ke put a bill into this pocket: "This is mine." He put another bill into the pocket that was turned inside out: "This is yours—you owe me three bills, so I won't kill you."
Liu Bang sat next to Qin Shi Huang. He hesitated for a moment, then finally took out about ten old men's bills from his bag and handed them to the fat man, saying, "This is all my money. You can have it all; you don't need to pay it back." Qin Shi Huang smiled and said, "Thank you." Then he put all the money into Jing Ke's pocket and said, "This is for you."
Jing Ke said angrily, "Why won't you return my money?"
Fatty Ying: "I'm hungry, but I'm not skinned. You want to kill me after I paid you back?"
I coughed and said, "Let's get down to business. Cousin, is there anything else you'd like to add?"
Li Shishi said, "Brother Xiang has led troops all his life, so he should know the principle of 'know yourself and know your enemy, and you will never be defeated.' To win a woman's heart, you must first understand her interests—" She placed the book from under her arm in front of Xiang Yu, "I found that the book she returned today is this one, you can take a look at it first."
When I looked at the book, I saw that the title was: "The Complete Works of Annie Baby".
Xiang Yu picked it up and read in confusion: "Nun, jade shell, man, king, falcon?"