I said dejectedly, "A car is a symbol of a man's success. If you had ridden a pig into the governor's mansion back then, no matter how brave you were, would your sister-in-law have liked you?" Only then did he reluctantly give in.
Passing by the mobile phone market, I first bought a bunch of phones, and then bought more than a dozen SIM cards at the entrance, which surprised the SIM card seller, who exclaimed, "These days, even people who make fake IDs have their own fleets of vehicles?"
Li Shishi learned it in no time, so I entered Fatty Ying's phone number into my phone and told him which key to press when it rang, since I didn't need him to make calls for the time being. I entered Zhang Bing's phone number into Xiang Yu's phone and told Liu Bang, "You sit next to him in a bit and teach him how to use it, and how to send text messages—fasten your seatbelt."
As Liu Bang and Xiang Yu walked towards the carriage, Liu Bang pulled out a small dictionary and said, "This is a little complicated. First, you have to learn simplified Chinese characters, then learn how to use a dictionary, and finally learn the stroke-based input method..."
I broke out in a cold sweat and hurriedly called out, "Bangzi, let Brother Yu drive first, we'll teach him later." I really didn't expect their texting to be so complicated. It seems that behind Liu Bang's enormous success lies a lot of sweat and effort. Of course, there's also his innate high intelligence.
To be honest, if I were a woman, I would definitely prefer Liu Bang to Xiang Yu, unless it were a special situation like the Eight-Nation Alliance invading Beijing. Or maybe we should send Zhang Bing to Afghanistan? That way, Xiang Yu would have a chance to play the hero and rescue the damsel in distress.
We arrived at the gate of C University, and I began to assign tasks. I placed my hand on Li Shishi's fragrant shoulder and solemnly said, "Cousin, today is all up to you. How well you fight this first battle will directly affect Brother Yu's happiness. You must become best friends with Zhang Bing. Even if she rejects you, try your best to extract as much useful information as possible."
Xiang Yu looked at Li Shishi with extreme nervousness, and after a long while, he finally said, "Please!"
Li Shishi's eyes sparkled as she giggled, "Brother Xiang, if this succeeds, how will you thank me?"
I pushed her away and said, "You can't joke around at the right time. Didn't you see that Brother Xiang's sweat could raise goldfish?"
I pulled Qin Shihuang aside: "Brother Ying, follow Shishi. When Zhang Bing appears, she'll give you a hand signal, and the rest is up to you. Take as many photos as possible. Another important point is to make sure you don't miss any of the boys who greet Zhang Bing, especially those she smiled at." I patted Jing Ke: "Protect Brother Ying well, he still owes you 300 yuan."
Finally, I placed both hands on Xiang Yu's shoulders, looked into his eyes, and said, "Brother Yu, we, the vanguard, have built bridges and paved roads for you. In the end, it all depends on you. You must take down Zhang Bing with one blow."
Liu Bang said, "Your analogy is not good. He always leads from the front in battle, and I have to admire that. If I were like him, I would probably be here with you long ago."
I said to Xiang Yu, "If things go smoothly, Shishi will lure Zhang Bing out. And since you're Shishi's cousin, it's such a coincidence that you've run into your cousin, so let's have a meal together. Since your cousin is with some friends she just met, of course we should invite them as well—do you understand what I'm saying?"
Xiang Yu nodded blankly. I stuffed a thick wad of cash and several cards into a wallet in front of him, saying, "This is all prepared for you by your brother. If you go to places like Caesar's Western Restaurant, remember to use your card. If you go for hot pot, pay in cash. If Zhang Bing picks a place, that would be great, but girls don't usually suggest where to go at times like this. For your first meal together, just find a casual place and don't be too reserved..." As I spoke, I broke out in a sweat.
Xiang Yu said with emotion, "Xiao Qiang, from now on you will be my younger brother."
Liu Bang interjected, "Your own brother is Xiang Zhuang."
I pulled Liu Bang aside and said, "Bangzi, you should talk to Brother Yu and help him relax."
Liu Bang said to Xiang Yu, "Why don't you give me a beating?"
I left them in the Hyundai, turned around and took two steps, then came back and said to Xiang Yu, "You'd better buy a bouquet of flowers and hide it in the car. I'll remind you to give it to her at the appropriate time."
What flowers should I buy?
"If it's your first time seeing this, anything except roses is fine. Just ask the people at the florist; they'll know. Just say it's for a woman."
After arranging all of this, I was almost completely exhausted. Honestly, with this team, even taking down someone wouldn't require this much effort. I found a corner to sit in the small square opposite Zhang Bing's dormitory and began to learn about the various groups of people.
Li Shishi had already learned from Wang Jing that Zhang Bing had a class soon, and she was currently waiting in front of the teaching building, while also thinking of a way to approach Zhang Bing. Qin Shihuang and Jing Ke were not far from her.
Just then, I saw Zhang Bing walk out of the dormitory building alone. I immediately called Li Shishi: "Zhang Bing has appeared! Zhang Bing has appeared! Please be prepared to wait for her."
Li Shishi also tensed up at my tone: "Received, received." Then she chuckled and said, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Have you thought of a way to get closer to her?"
Li Shishi said, "I'm thinking about it now. I'm not a professional at seducing girls."
That's true. Song Qing might be better than her at this, but I'm afraid Xiang Yu won't do it. I think the best candidates for this are Gao Lishi or Wei Zhongxian. By the way, why haven't I received a single eunuch yet? But I quickly realized: which eunuch would still be attached to this identity? Of course, they'd be reincarnated as soon as they're gone.
I said, "Think of something quickly, talk to her about 'the female nun, the jade beetle king, and the falcon!'"
"She's here, I'm not talking to you anymore..."
I immediately called Fatty Ying: "Are you ready?"
Okay.
"Hmm, let's take pictures of the main buildings of this school later, maybe they'll come in handy."
Qin Shi Huang said, "Do you want to take over this place?"
...
When I called Li Shishi again a dozen minutes later, her phone was off. It seems the connection went smoothly, otherwise why wouldn't she answer the phone? But if Zhang Bing was in class, how did Li Shishi get close to her?
Completely baffled, I called Qin Shi Huang again. This time, he answered after a long time, and his voice echoed, so he must have been in the hallway. I asked him how things were going, and he said, "A bunch of girls are dancing."
Where is Shishi?
"Dance with them."
No wonder. Dancing? They've fallen into Li Shishi's trap. Someone who can perform a sword dance with just a leather paddle—Zhang Bing and her dance teachers are probably no match for her. But what was her background? If I hadn't already been exposed to Zhang Bing and couldn't show myself, I really wanted to find out.
After a long wait, Li Shishi suddenly called me. She said urgently, "Cousin, I called you under the pretense of going to the bathroom. I've officially met Zhang Bing. I asked her to show me around her campus, and she agreed to have lunch with me. Have Brother Xiang and the others get ready at the school gate. We'll see him as soon as we go out in a little while."
After hanging up the phone, I immediately inquired about Xiang Yu's situation. Liu Bang said his "talk therapy" had worked, and Xiang Yu was now calm and resigned to his fate. I asked if they had bought the flowers, and Liu Bang said Xiang Yu had already done so.
Things are progressing smoothly. This is also an opportunity for Qin Shi Huang to fully utilize his abilities and uncover as many of Xiang Yu's rivals for love as possible during his campus visit. Take a picture of anyone who strikes up a conversation with Zhang Bing; take two pictures of anyone who smiles at Zhang Bing; and take a close look at anyone who chats and laughs with Zhang Bing and lingers for a while.
I was lost in thought for a moment when I received a harassing phone call from Li Shishi, which meant that they were almost at the school gate.
I jogged towards the door, calling Xiang Yu as I spoke. My expression was grave. "Brother Yu, go on high alert! Your wife will be here soon. Remember, don't be nervous. You just bumped into your cousin and happened to see her. Be nonchalant and act like it's nothing..."
Xiang Yu suddenly asked in a trembling voice, "What should I say to her as the first thing?"
"...Just say 'hello'."
"Hello... what's the second sentence?" Xiang Yu asked anxiously.
"...Introduce yourself. Just say you're Wang Yuannan's cousin."