Hua Mulan said, "Oh, is your emperor selecting concubines again? I saw it when I went out just now."
I was stunned: "What?"
Xiang Yu said from the side, "There's a model team performing at the open-air exhibition." Only then did I realize.
Dinner was served. After the noodles were brought out, Mulan mixed some sauce, rolled the noodles around her chopsticks, and ate them like she was gnawing on a chicken leg. I had just added some cucumber shreds when she finished eating, which amazed us. Seeing everyone at the table looking at her, Mulan said a little embarrassedly, "It's a habit. Military orders don't wait for anyone. I have to eat as soon as I can. It's something I've learned."
Baozi asked, "Did your cousin serve in the army?" Hua Mulan nodded.
Baozi's eyes sparkled: "I knew you had a special aura about you. How did you get in?" Baozi had told me more than once that her biggest dream before she turned 20 was to get into the military. Back then, military service slots were already scarce, and without connections, it was impossible to get in. Baozi persevered, running away from home multiple times, all to no avail...
Mulan casually said, "I went because of my father."
"Oh, Uncle, you must be a commander in some military region, right?" Baozi's tone was ambiguous, unconsciously revealing a fawning intent. It seemed she still harbored ulterior motives and wanted to cause trouble for our People's Liberation Army. She even glared at me, probably annoyed that I had such a relative and I hadn't told her sooner.
I immediately glared back: "There are rules in the military, it's all about secrecy!"
Baozi grabbed Mulan's hand and asked, "Cousin, are you a telephone operator or an arts and culture soldier?"
Hua Mulan had never heard of such things, and scratched her head, saying, "I will serve as the vanguard."
This time it was Baozi's turn to be puzzled: "Vanguard? What's that rank?"
I quickly replied, "It's roughly equivalent to a colonel or regimental commander."
Baozi said with some skepticism, "This is the first time I've ever seen a 29-year-old female regimental commander." He continued, "You're making a fuss over nothing. There have been several female army commanders in Chinese history, and even a female president, though she was eventually impeached by the Xue family."
Hua Mulan saw Baozi's earnest intentions and patted her hand, saying, "If I can go back, I'll take you with me, but you'll have to be able to endure hardship."
Baozi immediately puffed out his chest: "Of course I can endure hardship. Do you know why I became a doorman?"
I said, "Because you can't do anything else—"
Baozi glared at me: "Who said that? I didn't go to any of the state-owned enterprises that offered me jobs back then."
That's true. One of them is a cardboard box factory, they need someone to make more boxes, the basic salary is 400, and then they handle shipping. I calculated for her, if she can make 500,000 more boxes a month, she can get an extra 200 yuan bonus; the other one is even better, it's a government agency, a county cultural bureau needs someone to watch the bicycle shed...
Baozi continued, "Every time I stand at the door, I imagine myself as a guard, standing guard for every shift! That way, I don't get tired at all."
I said, "Come on, have you ever seen a guard wearing a cheongsam?" I guess only someone like Baozi would prefer military uniform to red dress, because no matter how red dress you wear, you can't really fake it.
Xiang Yu sighed, "It's a pity we can't go back. Otherwise, I would definitely give Baozi a general's rank. I believe she would be a good soldier."
Qin Shi Huang looked at the steamed buns and hesitated for a moment before saying, "Then I'll make you the Sima (Minister of Defense)." Sima, the Minister of Defense?
I gave them a disdainful look. All you do is fantasize. Do you think you can ever go back to the way things are? You're all talk and no action, calling yourself king or king, with more empty titles than those entrepreneurs, but you don't even have as much real power as the chairman of the cardboard factory's union. Pah!
I put my arm around Baozi's shoulder and said, "Even if you ask us to go, we won't go. Soldiers in peacetime are the best."
Baozi pushed me aside and said excitedly, "What's the point? I just like wearing a belt and a Mauser pistol slung across my shoulder..."
"You think you're some kind of military police officer with a plaster on your forehead?" I immediately received a beating from Baozi. Rubbing my body, I thought, "Just you wait, there are absolutely no characters from after the Xinhai Revolution in this book..."
Chapter Five: Cachibno
In the evening, I said to Baozi, "Can you take tomorrow off? You can take your cousin to buy some things."
Baozi asked, puzzled, "Why don't you go with your sister? It's just a stroll around, isn't it?" She probably thought my cousin was just visiting a new place and wanted to look around casually. Little did she know that Mulan longed to be a woman.
But it's inconvenient for me to go with you to many special places.
After the meal, everyone went back to their own business. Xiang Yu lit a cigarette, casually flipped through a city map, and started sketching on it with a pencil. He'd been wandering around aimlessly these past few days; I guessed he was probably looking for places he hadn't been to yet. Judging by his manner, he really did resemble Patton somewhat.
Seeing him looking at the map, Mulan, who was feeling bored, went up to him and said, "What, you want to have a fight?"
Xiang Yu's eyes lit up: "Let's have a fight then." It was clear he was bored out of his mind.
Xiang Yu handed Mulan a pencil and drew on the map, saying, "This time, let's seize Nan Yi Primary School."
Mulan spent a long time searching on the map before finally confirming her target. She only had a vague understanding of simplified Chinese characters, but that didn't hinder her ability to study the map.
Xiang Yu said, "Each of you shall lead 10,000 elite troops, and you may choose a starting point."
Mulan, following the map, said, "I will start from Sai Ying Pun Liang."
"Okay, I'll head from the post office."
Hua Mulan glanced at it and said, "Heh, you chose a place much farther away than mine."
“But mine are all main roads, which can be crossed by cars, so the time is about the same.”
Mulan pointed to a spot and said, "It seems we're bound to meet here."
"Yes, the roundabout is a place where we need to clash."
I was exasperated and said, "Aren't you two being ridiculous? The roundabout is always congested..."
Neither of them paid any attention to me, they were both engrossed in their battle. Xiang Yu tapped his cigarette ash and pointed to the map, saying, "I run parallel to the main road, which will ensure smooth logistics, while yours is all side roads. I think I should change my starting point, otherwise you'll be at a disadvantage."
I interjected, "It's alright, there's a Renrenle and a Carrefour between Sai Ying Pun Long and the roundabout, we can replenish our supplies there, and if all else fails, we can just rob a meat processing plant..."
Hua Mulan pushed me away and said, "No need. I'll only take three days' worth of rations for a forced march and try to get to the roundabout first."
Xiang Yu stroked his chin and said, "What do you mean by that? What if I get there before you? If you just guard the crossroads for three days, aren't you courting death?"
Hua Mulan chuckled and said, "Will you stay put and not come out?"
Xiang Yu retorted, "How do you know I can't?"