Xiang Yu waved his hand and said, "It's alright, I really can't think of how I could lose this battle, hahaha." With that, he walked into the central command tent.
I watched his retreating figure and muttered under my breath, "What a jerk, he's forgotten the pain once the wound has healed."
Yu Ji asked curiously, "Xiao Qiang, what are you saying? Has the King been injured before?"
I sighed and said, "Why don't you talk to him and tell him not to be so overconfident? And you, sister-in-law—"
Yu Ji smiled and asked, "What's wrong with me?"
"You also need to be more self-critical, stop joking about your own life, and try to think more positively about things."
Yu Ji rested her chin on her hand and asked, "Do I have one?"
...
That night, Xiang Yu, like a genius, discussed strategic plans with the feudal lords for a long time. I woke up and went to the toilet when I saw him just coming out of the central command tent.
Also, I didn't take off my clothes to sleep that night, so I could experience the military life of not removing my armor at night—actually, I was afraid that Zhang Han would attack the camp.
I vaguely heard the army assembling again this morning. I went out to check, and sure enough, the personal guards were already assembled, and Xiang Yu was already riding his rabbit. He was unusually energetic today; he had his spear across his horse's back and was listening to reports on the preparations of the various troops. Seeing me emerge fully armed, he smiled and asked, "Xiao Qiang, are you going today?"
His laugh really annoyed me, and I snapped, "Go away!"
Why is that? In modern times, we're the kind of guys who get scolded by the police for being "aggressive and violent," and we've smashed the heads of countless heroes with a brick in our hands. How come we're considered cowards and despised here, in a place where there's not even spicy hot pot? Nobody is born knowing how to fight. Except for freaks like Xiang Yu, who wouldn't get dizzy the first time they saw someone's brains splattered?
I was about to mount my horse with a burst of energy, but I turned back halfway: "If you want to go, wait until I take off my armor." This thing is too much of a hindrance.
Everyone was baffled by me. The two soldiers on guard duty whispered among themselves, "What kind of habit does General Xiao have?"
"...It might be a fight to the death!"
On the way, Xiang Yu said to me, "I'll probably have to charge into battle soon. Take care of yourself and just stay where you are."
I smiled dismissively, already having made up my mind: I'll do as he says!
Chapter 85 A Smile That Deterred Three Armies
There's a story behind fighting without armor, or rather, without armor. When Zhang Fei fought Ma Chao, both were fully armored from morning until evening. Then Zhang Fei said his armor was in the way and would remove one piece before continuing the fight. So he went back, threw away his helmet, and continued fighting. By nightfall, Zhang Fei was exhausted and went back to remove his breastplate. By the time the torches were lit, he had even removed his battle skirt. Actually, Ma Chao also removed quite a bit, but because Zhang Fei suggested it first, Ma Chao is generally considered to be slightly stronger. The two didn't completely determine a winner, but their battle was classic—the only one that gradually transformed from a fierce martial arts fight into a striptease. It was excellent, powerful, raunchy, and violent. Later, in Tomb Raider, the female protagonist fights in a bikini, clearly drawing inspiration from the Zhang-Ma battle.
—Excerpt from Chapter 34 of Volume 2 of "A Humorous History of a Thousand Years: It's Not Just the Armor That's Being Taken Off" by Zhang Xiaohua.
So when I walked through this army of thousands in my simple clothes, I gave the impression that I was going to fight to the death—even though none of these people had read the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
Actually, to avoid misunderstandings, I really wanted to dress up as a strategist with a feather fan and turban, but Xiang Yu's army didn't have either, so I had to make do by covering my head. However, this made me look anything but refined, more like a Palestinian terrorist bomber.
On the way, looking at the endless stream of troops ahead and behind, I asked Xiang Yu, "Brother Yu, how many troops are there? Am I going to witness a scene of 200,000 people fighting each other?"
Xiang Yu said, "30,000."
I nodded, then suddenly stood up from my horse: "30,000? Didn't they have 100,000?" After thinking for a moment, I said, "Oh, they claimed to have 100,000, right?" I understand this. Taking 30,000 to 50,000 and claiming to have 100,000 is quite generous. Cao Cao claimed to have 700,000 or 800,000 back then, but I never really figured out how many men he actually had.
Xiang Yu said, "The enemy does indeed have 100,000 men; our scouts would not exaggerate that number."
I chuckled dryly and said, "How many of us are there? I didn't hear you clearly just now."
Xiang Yu said, "30,000—wars don't necessarily require equal numbers of soldiers."
"The gap is too huge, isn't it? Three people against ten, they'd be exhausted but still couldn't win."
Xiang Yu laughed and said, "Fighting and war are not the same thing. If the strength is equal, it is certainly difficult for 3 people to defeat 10 people. But in front of a large army, as long as you destroy their morale, no matter how many people there are, it will be of no use."
I said dejectedly, "It seems I shouldn't have come—"
Xiang Yu chuckled and said, "It's too late for you to leave now. I don't believe you can desert under the gaze of tens of thousands of people."
I smiled proudly: "Why wouldn't I dare? I only fought in the martial arts tournament because I had nowhere else to run. If I could run, I would have done it long ago. Am I the kind of person who cares about face... uh, about worldly opinions?"
"...You're not really thinking of running away, are you?"
I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry, Brother Yu. I can manage on my own, it's only two or three days anyway, but I have you with me. If I run away, it will embarrass you. It's okay for me to suffer a little, I can't let you lose face with me."
Xiang Yu was stunned for a moment, and finally said speechlessly, "So I should thank you?"
They hadn't gone far when a scout came to report: the enemy general Zhang Han had personally led all his troops to defend a position five li ahead. Xiang Yu gave the order: "Form ranks and advance."
Thus, 30,000 men spread out across the grassland and slowly advanced. Scouts kept reporting that we were getting closer and closer to the enemy. Finally, the same imposing, dark cloud-like formation as yesterday appeared before our eyes: 100,000 troops, indeed covering the entire grassland, as if you could stand there and kill them all without ever finishing them off.
But I'm already somewhat used to it. Whether it's 15,000 or 100,000, the outcome is still uncertain. When the fighting starts, I won't even have to lift a finger. Didn't Xiang Yu say that this battle is already decided?
At the enemy's front, an old general sat on horseback, wearing a helmet adorned with jewels, his long beard flowing, and holding two iron swords. Xiang Yu said to me, "That man is Zhang Han."
As the commander-in-chief, and the marshal of the last remaining fresh force of the Qin Dynasty, Zhang Han personally led the charge today, demonstrating his determination to win this battle. Around him, thousands of personal guards held shields taller than a man, protecting him completely. Further to his side were heavy infantrymen carrying long spears.
This time, neither side launched the first attack. The Chu army, led by Xiang Yu, advanced silently, and as they drew closer, the atmosphere became increasingly tense.
Finally, when the two armies were less than 50 meters apart, Xiang Yu reined in his horse. The tall Xiang Yu rode forward a few steps alone and shouted, "Zhang Han, I have repeatedly urged you to surrender. What have you thought about it?"
Zhang Han's face darkened, and he shouted, "What do you mean by bringing only 30,000 remnant soldiers to meet my 100,000-strong army? Are you trying to stop a chariot with your bare hands?"
Xiang Yu spurred his horse back and forth in front of the two armies, and said loudly, "Killing more is pointless. You and I are both commoners under the tyrannical Qin. I only brought 30,000 men because I don't want to wipe you out. Besides, I have 30,000 men here against your 100,000. The 100,000 you left behind in Jiyuan are worth more than my 150,000 elite troops!"
Zhang Han's expression changed slightly, and the Qin army immediately began to murmur among themselves. Xiang Yu's words had made it clear that he had sent men to raid Zhang Han's main camp. In fact, these few words showed that Xiang Yu indeed possessed very clever tactics. Not only did he raid Zhang Han's main camp, but he also not only dampened Zhang Han's morale in front of the Qin army, but he also made it clear that he did not want to kill them. Therefore, the Qin army, which was still in doubt, might not be willing to fight with all their might when the battle began.
Zhang Han was furious. He spurred his horse forward and shouted at the guards blocking his way, "Get out of the way, I have something to say."
All the guards shouted in unison, "General, be careful!"
Zhang Han shouted, "Get out of the way! How dare that scoundrel Xiang Yu run wild on the land of my Great Qin Dynasty? What does my personal safety matter?"