Seeing that the road ahead was still long, I told him about how I was able to travel back, and at the end, I specifically introduced the situation at Hulao Pass.
Erpang said with endless nostalgia, "Hulao Pass...that was the proudest moment of my life. Even Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei were no match for me..."
I yelled, "Stop talking nonsense, get down to business!"
After calming himself down, Erpang said, "To be honest, in my current state, I'd definitely be a free win. Back then, I was fighting every day, and my muscles and martial arts were at their peak. You've seen what I'm like now; I can't even see my own feet when I look down."
I sighed, "You really are my nemesis. Tell me, back in your day, who could beat you? Tell the truth!" I just don't believe that in such a vast Three Kingdoms period, there really wasn't a few reclusive masters or something.
Erpang said firmly, "No, I've never encountered that. The teacher who taught me kung fu once accidentally cracked my skull while sparring with me, and I can testify that he didn't hold back."
I:"……"
Erpang added, "But since you're in trouble, I have to go no matter what. I really want to see him too."
I said, touched, "You're a true brother. I shouldn't have scolded you while I was having dinner with someone."
Erpang: "..."
I said, "Then you should head to Yucai now, and I'll be waiting for you there."
With Erpang as my backup, I felt a little more at ease, but a violent solution was still out of the question. At He Tiandou's old villa, Erpang and Xiang Yu fought fiercely, but later Erpang was clearly at a disadvantage in terms of strength. However, according to what he said today, the real Lü Bu was actually more than one level stronger than him—truly unbelievably strong!
Seeing that I was preoccupied, Xuanzang smiled and said, "You only heard a few sentences intermittently. Are you planning to drag Lü Bu into fighting Lü Bu?"
What a clever monk!
I sighed and said, "It's a pity that the Lu Bu who knows me is a coward compared to the Lu Bu who doesn't know me. This matter still has to be done, and it's driving me crazy!"
Xuanzang said, "This matter is actually not difficult at all."
My eyes lit up and I said, "Then please give me a suggestion."
Xuanzang said with a smile, "When you arrive at Yucai, you will understand without me having to tell you."
Chapter 140 Cow Dung Hammer
Because I was unsure of myself, I drove back to Yucai with a long face the whole way. A group of kids blocked my way back to the dormitory. I was already in a bad mood and didn't want to play cat and mouse with them, so I just honked the horn twice. The kids turned around and looked at me as if I were just a random passerby (that was my past life), and quickly turned away again.
I got out of the car, slammed the door shut, and asked in a rude tone, "What are you doing?"
The children, without turning their heads, said, "Don't make noise, come and see."
I glanced into the crowd and saw several fourteen or fifteen-year-old boys forming a small circle. At their feet were several weightlifting barbells and a dozen or so weight plates. In the center of the circle was none other than the clown boy, Li Yuanba. He was still quite young, and facing several boys not much younger than him, his brow was furrowed, clearly still very much a child.
The atmosphere at the scene clearly showed a standoff between the two sides. I recognized those older kids; they all trained in weightlifting with Li Kui and were quite successful, winning championships and runner-up titles in city, district, and national youth weightlifting competitions. But I didn't know why they were arguing with Li Yuanba. I grabbed one of the older kids and asked, "What happened?"
When the child turned around and saw it was me, he angrily pointed at Li Yuanba and complained to me, "He said what we practiced was all garbage."
I couldn't help but chuckle and asked Li Yuanba, "Is that what you said?"
Li Yuanba said in a muffled voice, "Yes—"
The older children immediately started making a fuss, pointing at Li Yuanba and questioning him.
Li Yuanba kicked the barbell on the ground with his toe and said innocently, "Well, what kind of training can you possibly do with this?"
Now the older kids were even more excited. If it were adults like Li Kui and Bao Jin saying this, they would have no choice but to obey. But facing someone only a few years older than themselves, especially an unattractive guy, they were naturally unconvinced. One of the students, who was already nearly 1.8 meters tall despite his young age, didn't say much. He quickly loaded two weight plates onto the barbell and said to Li Yuanba, "Ugly boy, watch carefully, this is 80 kilograms." He then stood in front of the barbell, performed a perfect snatch, held it overhead for a few seconds, and then threw it to the ground with a thud. His face didn't change, and he didn't even exhale. Many people around cheered.
A fourteen-year-old child can lift a 160-pound iron lump, and it's a snatch... I certainly couldn't do that.
The big guy put down the barbell and taunted Li Yuanba, "You can talk after you can do it like this."
Li Yuanba reached out and picked up the barbell with great interest. He lifted it slightly and exclaimed with delight, "Hey, it's quite heavy."
A few children nearby scoffed, "Of course! You think this is a piece of plastic?"
But they all misunderstood… When Li Yuanba said it was heavy, he meant it was heavier than it looked—the next second, he held the iron bar horizontally in front of his chest with one hand, examining it carefully, and smacked his lips, saying, “Hmm, about the same weight as the big sword I used to wield when I was five.” This move stunned everyone. Among those present were fierce generals like Qin Qiong and Yuwen Chengdu, whose weapons naturally weighed no less than a hundred pounds, but to lift a 160-pound behemoth as lightly as if it were a needle was something no one could do.
Before anyone could react, Li Yuanba glanced down at the pile of weight plates at his feet, seemingly lost in thought. With one hand still holding the barbell horizontally, he casually grabbed a few plates with the other and added them to both ends of the iron bar. Someone, recovering from their shock, shouted, "Watch out! Danger!" Li Yuanba's action was a serious violation of operating procedures; if he lost his grip and the plates fell onto his feet, they could take root and sprout.
Li Yuanba added all the weight plates, making the barbell look like a giant gourd, then locked the chain and swung it around his head a few times like he was wielding a waxwood stick. I felt a blast of cold air on my face and immediately shouted, "Everyone, step back!"
The crowd made way for him. Li Yuanba then swung the enormous iron gourd, weighing an unknown amount of weight, around once – almost as fast as Liu Xiao Ling Tong wielding a stick. The rusty smell from the iron gourd flew out with each swing, pungent and acrid. After playing for a while, he seemed to suddenly lose interest, casually tossing the gourd aside and saying, "It's still too light, no fun to play with."
I was the first to recover from the shock. I patted the still-frozen children on the shoulder and comforted them, saying, "Learn from this older brother in the future. You'll have your day too."
The children were stunned for a moment, then suddenly surrounded Li Yuanba, bombarding him with questions, their admiration overflowing. When asked how he possessed such strength, Li Yuanba replied憨憨地, "Nothing special, just eat more meat and fight more!" I shouted at the children, "Don't listen to the last part!"
Xuanzang smiled and said to me, "Haven't you thought of a solution yet?"
Beat up that Lu Bu! Compared to Li Yuanba, he's nothing!
Actually, I knew what to do the moment Li Yuanba lifted the iron gourd. The reason I was having trouble finding someone to deal with Lü Bu, even though I had the greatest warrior in history, whom even Xiang Yu admitted was inferior, was twofold: first, I hadn't formed an impression of Li Yuanba yet; second, this kid's appearance seriously deceived me. I really couldn't believe that this ugly kid, who wasn't even as tall as me, could be so monstrous.
I glanced at Xuanzang and cautiously asked, "Do you also agree with resolving this by force?"
Xuanzang laughed and said, "If someone deserves to be beaten, then they should be beaten. Beating one person down brings happiness to countless families; that is merit."
...I seriously suspect that Sun Wukong was originally a kind and cute little monkey, but was forcibly taught by Xuanzang to become the Victorious Fighting Buddha.
After dismissing the students, I beckoned and said, "Yuanba, come here."
What are you doing?
"Come fight with me, brother!" I know there's no need to beat around the bush with this kind of person; if I just say I'm going to fight, he'll be overjoyed.