This time, the two of them were clearly taken aback. One of them kicked me again and asked, "What's your name?"
It finally worked. This is a lesson learned the hard way, comrades, remember this from now on: when you need someone's help, never act arrogantly. Even if you're the father of the Milky Way, it won't help. It's more useful to say you're the brother-in-law of some village chief.
After I signed up, the two soldiers started to wonder, "Xiao Qiang? I think I've heard of him." After a brief discussion, they decided to take me with them.
Under the watchful eyes and control of a group of men, I mounted my horse again and rode past the front and central sections of the Han army's combined camp before finally arriving at Liu Bang's command center. After passing through layers of intermediaries, I received no reply for a long time—Zhang Liang was no longer someone anyone could just see whenever they wanted; such fictitious and insignificant matters might not even reach him.
I was sweating profusely with anxiety. Who knew when the Han army would launch a surprise attack on Xiang Yu? If that happened, it would be too late.
Just then, I saw a man emerge from one of the large tents in front. He was about thirty or forty years old, with a square face and an air of capable elegance. He was probably tired from the meeting and was now strolling out, swinging his arms to get some fresh air, while checking the soldiers' guards. I recognized him immediately—it was Zhang Liang—and hurried forward to meet him. Two men guarding me had their hands on my shoulders, and they pulled me down together, shouting, "Are you looking for death?!"
As I struggled and kicked and thrashed about, hoping to attract Zhang Liang's attention, I shouted at the top of my lungs, "My in-laws, my in-laws—"
Zhang Liang glanced at me, puzzled. His vision was blurry in the darkness, and he asked haphazardly, "Who's making that noise over there?"
I then exclaimed, "It's me, your in-law!"
"...Who is your in-law?"
I strained to get my face closer to the light: "Have you forgotten you promised your daughter to my son? Your daughter is three years older than my son..." I said, my eyes lighting up. "Oh right, do you remember the saying 'A woman three years older brings good fortune'?"
Chapter 175 Another King Returns
When Zhang Liang heard my strange words, he came closer and took a look, then laughed and said, "Oh, it's General Xiao Qiang."
I swayed my shoulders and greeted them, "My dear in-laws, you haven't forgotten me after all."
Zhang Liang gestured for the soldiers to release me, then pulled me aside and said, "Why are you here? The King of Han often talks about you. We all thought you were no longer under Xiang Yu's command."
I said, "I wasn't under his command to begin with."
Zhang Liang scrutinized me for a moment and said, "General Xiao, is there something you need at this time?"
I chuckled and said, "Could you take me to see the King of Han?"
Zhang Liang said warily, "The King of Han is very busy with official duties. Can you tell me what you need to say first?"
I glanced at him sideways and said, "Brother Zifang, you're not afraid that I'll come as a persuader, are you?"
Zhang Liang smiled awkwardly, "Not at all."
I said, "To put it bluntly, don't you understand your master? Even if I really came to plead for Xiang Yu, would he listen?" If Zhang Liang truly understood Liu Bang, he certainly wouldn't be worrying about this. Compromising when out of power and ruthlessly eliminating when in power were Liu Bang's two fundamental characteristics. Sending a few envoys at this moment would be utterly useless.
Zhang Liang hesitated for a moment and then said, "In that case, I'll trouble Brother Xiao to wait here."
A short while later, Zhang Zifang came out with a big smile on his face and said, "The King of Han really gets along well with Brother Xiaoqiang. As soon as he heard it was you, he didn't care about anything else. Brother Xiaoqiang, please come in."
As soon as I stepped forward, Zhang Liang gave a wink to the two guards at the door, and they followed me into Liu Bang's tent. This was one of the reasons Liu Bang liked Zhang Liang—he was willing to act like a villain for his master. Logically, I had helped them out of a predicament at the Hongmen Banquet, so we could be considered half-friends. However, at this sensitive moment, Zhang Liang was afraid I would use some extreme method to blackmail Liu Bang, and he didn't let his guard down at all.
Liu Bang, dressed in casual home clothes, was sitting at a table pretending to study a map. When he saw me come in, he quickly opened his arms wide, looking extremely happy, and said, "Brother Xiao Qiang, I've missed you so much!"
I gave a forced smile and bowed, saying, "Greetings, Prince of Han—"
Liu Bang grabbed me and said, "What are you doing? We're old friends who've been to the toilet together!"
Although I knew this was one of Liu Bang's usual social maneuvers, I still felt much more relaxed. Of the five of us, I was closest to the lovable Fatty, but I was most compatible with Liu Bang. We were truly kindred spirits. We looked at each other and laughed heartily. Liu Bang noticed the two guards following closely behind me and his expression changed. "Get out! Who let you in!" he shouted.
As soon as the two guards went out, they heard Zhang Liang's voice scolding them: "How dare you not know the rules! General Xiaoqiang and the King of Han are as close as brothers, how dare you doubt him—come here, drag him away and give him 30 strokes of the military rod." This master and servant are truly a perfect match.
After the guards left, Liu Bang saw me grinning slyly, knowing I'd seen through their little trick. He smiled slightly, without a trace of embarrassment, and took my hand, saying, "Xiao Qiang, I've really missed you." From those words, I could tell he was seven-tenths sincere. This change in address meant he no longer considered me an outsider. I really missed him too—I'd seen him the least since the group of five parted ways, and I couldn't help but call out, "Bang... Brother Liu, I've missed you too."
Liu Bang was taken aback, then laughed and said, "Even now, I still can't figure out one thing: you really helped me twice at Hongmen, and I could feel that you genuinely wanted to save me. You probably didn't expect things to turn out this way back then, did you? So I've always wanted to ask you, why did you help me back then?"
I composed myself before saying, "I hit it off with the King of Han immediately, and I don't want you and Brother Yu to fight each other."
Liu Bang was visibly startled when he heard the words "fratricide," but quickly regained his composure and said calmly, "I heard you came from Xiang Yu's side?" I nodded.
"Oh, I haven't heard from you lately. I thought you'd found a better job elsewhere, and I was planning to search for you all over the world as soon as I finished what I was doing. What brings you here today?"
Gradually, I realized that while Liu Bang genuinely wanted me, his primary motivation was to recruit talent. A smile could send 100,000 troops packing; Xiao Qiang's reputation was so bad that he overshadowed Han Xin. Although Liu Bang was currently in power, he still needed a large number of talented individuals. As for the fact that I saved him, that's in the past; compared to the vastness of the world, this small favor was insignificant.
Looking into Liu Bang's eyes, I was about to say something when Liu Bang suddenly waved his hand and said, "We have an agreement beforehand. Even if you ask me for high-ranking positions and generous salaries, I can grant them to you immediately. But if you're here to plead for Xiang Yu, then don't even bother asking, or don't blame your 'Brother Liu' for turning ruthless!"
...What else could I say? I was originally planning to build rapport and get to know him before coaxing him into taking the medicine, but he's a bachelor with his own way of doing things, and he laid it all out in advance.
Seeing that I was speechless, Liu Bang smiled and said, "How about this, you go and rest first, and we can continue our conversation after I have wiped out Xiang Yu's remaining troops."
I was in a great hurry. I grabbed a calligraphy brush, weighed it in my hand, and put it down. Then I picked up an inkstone, but I was still not satisfied. I shook my head and put it down...
Liu Bang was about to leave when he noticed my strange behavior and asked, "What are you doing?"
At this point, I had already grabbed a three-legged wine vessel and said, "I didn't do anything, I just wanted to offer Brother Liu a toast."
Liu Bang laughed and said, "I've heard that Xiang Yu is a heavy drinker, and he keeps wine in his military tent. I'm not like him, so we can drink to our hearts' content another time."
At that moment, I moved my hand next to the three-legged wine vessel and touched a silver pot that was over a foot tall. Holding the silver pot, I moved closer to Liu Bang, saying, "Your Majesty, please wait a moment, I..."
Liu Bang asked intently, "What?"
"Let me toast you with this!" I said, grabbing the handle of the pot and slamming it onto the back of Liu Bang's head. Liu Bang cried out and staggered forward a few steps. I grabbed his sleeve, squatting down to pull the blue pill out of his shoe. Liu Bang was both surprised and furious, shouting, "What do you think you're doing?"
I held onto him tightly, half threatening and half pleading, "Wait a minute, eat this and you'll understand everything..." But the more I tried, the less I could get it out. Sweat beaded on my forehead, so I kicked off my shoes. Looking down, I was quite angry; apparently, there was a hole in my sock, and the blue pill had gotten inside. I pinched the little thing, squeezed it out of the hole, and held it up to Liu Bang's mouth. Liu Bang was horrified, shaking his head and struggling, exclaiming in horror, "Damn it, poison!"
I spoke softly, as if coaxing a child to take medicine: "Smell it, how could something so fragrant be poison?"
Liu Bang gritted his teeth and said to me, "Smell it for yourself—Guards come!"
I actually smelled it myself—holy crap, poison! No wonder An Daoquan said I had athlete's foot...