I chuckled inwardly, pulled up a chair and sat down, deliberately asking, "What are Your Majesties talking about?"
The group exchanged glances, all speechless. After a moment of silence, Zhao Kuangyin, who had the quickest temper, spoke first: "We've already told him what's there to be afraid of. Xiao Qiang isn't an outsider."
Li Shimin chuckled and said, "Actually, it's nothing."
I glanced at Wu Zetian, who was chatting with Empress Lü in the opposite room, and laughed, "Brother Li, aren't you just hoping to keep your sister-in-law here with Brother Ying?"
Li Shimin chuckled and said, "To be honest, that's what I was thinking, but don't worry, I won't do it."
I cleared my throat and said, "Then I'll be honest with you all. In three months, the Heavenly Dao will return to peace, and then you brothers here will no longer need to worry about history. In other words, autonomy will be back in your hands, and you can truly be emperors again."
The group exchanged glances, all looking somewhat incredulous. Li Shimin asked in surprise, "Are you telling the truth? Why didn't you tell us sooner?"
I said, "I only found out recently. I was originally planning to tell you all when Liu Bang was still alive."
Zhao Kuangyin tapped the table and said, "So, Brother Shimin, you can kill Wu Zetian now?"
Li Shimin rolled his eyes at him and said, "Who said I had to kill Meiniang?"
Zhao Kuangyin said, "I was just using an analogy."
Zhu Yuanzhang chuckled twice and said, "Since Wu Zetian no longer needs to be empress, then she is no longer Wu Zetian. As for the rest, it depends on how Brother Shimin trains her in the future, hehe."
I said to Li Shimin, “Brother Li, your wife is actually quite capable of governing the country. She was an emperor before, and although she worked diligently, she didn’t have a good reputation. Since you don’t want her to continue, then try to persuade her, and at least don’t kill her.”
Li Shimin said, "I never intended to kill her."
I glanced at Zhu Yuanzhang again, but before I could speak, he spread his hands and said, "I never intended to kill Xu Da and the others again. Killing them would have been so easy; if that were the case, I wouldn't be here at this meeting. The truth is, these old brothers and I have genuine feelings for each other. I didn't kill them back then because I was afraid they would rebel... Sigh, saying all this is useless." Zhu Yuanzhang spoke with a rare seriousness, "Making mistakes is painful, but what's even more terrifying is knowing it's wrong and still having to do it. I truly don't want to repeat the same mistakes!"
Zhao Kuangyin, holding a wine cup in his hand, looked at Zhu Yuanzhang without saying a word. Zhu Yuanzhang, however, understood his meaning and said disdainfully, "Don't look at me. I don't believe there isn't a better way than your 'releasing military power over a cup of wine' method."
I sighed, "It seems that Brother Zhao has the fewest worries here."
Li Shimin said, "I don't think so." Then he nudged Zhao Kuangyin and asked, "Hey, Zhao, let me ask you, what exactly happened with that 'Shadow of the Candle and Sound of the Axe' incident?"
Zhao Kuangyin's expression changed slightly as he said, "This is not something to be told to outsiders."
I asked curiously, "What 'the shadow of the candle and the sound of the axe'?"
Li Shimin said, "On the night Zhao died in his previous life, someone saw his younger brother Zhao Guangyi in his room. In the shadow of the candlelight, they heard the sound of an axe chiseling something. Therefore, later generations suspected that Zhao's death was not quite normal..."
I shuddered and said, "Even brothers wouldn't kill each other, would they?"
Li Shimin said awkwardly, "It's hard to say if you're born into an imperial family."
The more I thought about it, the less likely it was that I would murder an emperor with an axe, especially between two brothers. Besides, even if you wanted to assassinate the emperor and seize the throne, why would you need to carry an axe and go hit him? So I said, "Maybe Brother Zhao just happened to want to eat walnuts?"
I was just saying it casually, but Zhao Kuangyin's expression changed drastically. He said, "How did you know? Did you secretly read the letter I sent to Zhao Ji?"
I asked blankly, "What letter from home?"
At this point, everyone became interested and asked, "Was it really you who wanted to eat walnuts that night?"
Zhao Kuangyin nodded in shame and said, "I have loved eating walnuts since I was a child, and I can usually crack them myself. That night I was too tired, so I asked Guangyi to do it for me. Who knew that I would go to the underworld before I could crack even one walnut. At that time, there were several other members of the royal family besides Guangyi, but considering the impact, this matter was always kept as a family secret. Later, only the heir to the throne was told about it among my Zhao family descendants."
Zhao Kuangyin actually died from craving a walnut! This explains why there was an axe that night—it was as essential to Zhao Kuangyin as tobacco is to a smoker or alcohol to a drunkard. He failed to crack a single walnut and died. For an ordinary person, this wouldn't be shameful; an old man wanting a walnut before his death is as common as wanting to see his grandson or eat a bowl of noodles. But an emperor can't be like that. The Son of Heaven should abstain from all worldly desires. The fact that "Emperor Taizu wanted to eat a walnut before his death" was something that absolutely could not be known to others. Therefore, although the explanation is simple, the Zhao family still covered it up like a family scandal. When the allied forces besieged the Jin dynasty, Zhao Kuangyin wrote a family letter to Emperor Huizong of Song to gain his trust. It's said that this letter contained the Zhao family's top secrets, and it seems it was about this…
I smacked my lips and said, "Brother Zhao's hobby is a bit eccentric. If you liked eating sunflower seeds, wouldn't you make a lot less noise?"
Zhu Yuanzhang said, "That's good enough. If he liked popcorn, people would think I charged in with an 86mm rifle!"
I laughed and said, "Brother Zhu has already developed the Type 86?"
Zhao Kuangyin felt that his hobby had been exposed and that he was being looked down upon, so he lowered his head and stammered in embarrassment. Li Shimin comforted him, saying, "It's alright, everyone has a hobby."
Zhao Kuangyin first gave him a grateful look, then exclaimed, "Why do you, a Tang Dynasty emperor, know so much about the affairs of our Song Dynasty?"
Li Shimin said, "What's the big deal? I know quite a bit about the Qing Dynasty too."
Qin Shi Huang slapped the table and said, "Let me summarize: from now on, no one will bother us anymore. How wonderful!"
Zhu Yuanzhang said, "It's not that great. If we lived according to the way of Heaven, there would be nothing to worry about. But now that no one is watching us, we can't be lazy anymore." The emperors laughed and said, "That's right, that's right." They were acting like they had gotten a good deal but were still being smug.
Li Shimin said, “Let’s take this opportunity to properly deal with the things we didn’t handle well before. Now that we’ve pacified the world, we should spend more time with our families. You see, in the TV shows later on, our home was portrayed as gloomy and eerie, as if being born into an imperial family means you have to rely on putting on airs to get by, and then finally you have to seize the throne—we should work on improving our image.”
I said, "Brother Li is right. The main problem for the emperors is the successor. There are too many wolves and not enough meat, and there is only one position. It's natural to be difficult to decide who to give it to. This actually needs to start with their worldview and values. Don't teach children things like 'the winner is king, the loser is a bandit.' Instead, instill family values in them. Like Genghis Khan, you had four sons, right? So your main concern wasn't choosing who to be your successor, but rather focusing on your other three sons and teaching them to have a balanced perspective. It's like running a chicken farm; you don't necessarily have to be the manager. The eldest son can be the manager, the second son can be in charge of the technology, the third son can handle the feed, and the fourth son can specialize in preventing bird flu."
Genghis Khan said, "We only have cattle and sheep on our grasslands, not chickens."
I said, "Then let the fourth brother be protected against foot-and-mouth disease, it's the same thing."
I turned to Qin Shi Huang and said, "Brother Ying, although you only have two sons, I've noticed that you're carrying a heavy burden. You've been struggling with which one to choose as your successor. Your previous intention was to give the throne to your eldest son, but from my observation, Hu Hai is also a good son. Your main task is to train him well."
I pointed at Li Shimin: "Brother Li, have you thought of a solution to your wife's problem?"
Li Shimin: "...I'll handle it."
I nodded, and seeing that Zhao Kuangyin was already looking to slip away, I said decisively, "You, stop eating walnuts and start eating sunflower seeds instead. Isn't that the same method for quitting smoking?"
Zhu Yuanzhang looked at the group of colleagues I had criticized and said gloatingly, "Have you all remembered what Xiaoqiang said?"
His colleagues shouted in unison, "Shut up!"
Li Shimin scratched his head and said, "Since when did it become Xiaoqiang's turn to lecture us?" He then glanced at me sideways, patted his butt, and left.
Genghis Khan said, "Actually, what Xiaoqiang said makes some sense."
I took his hand and said, moved, "Brother, you're the only one who understands my good intentions."