Jiangnan Gaiden

Kapitel 53

A dream...it's just a dream again!

I took a few deep breaths and wiped the sweat from my forehead. For three months, I have dreamed of Shang Shaochang almost every day. The scene I dream about most is him smiling as he leaves Meigu and Qiongxie Cave.

He always smiled at me, with a touch of ease and a hint of playfulness. Even when he left me and leaped into a snow-covered valley, he still smiled naturally and easily.

Even when I asked him about life and death, he remained the same as always, his deep eyes revealing an unfathomable smile.

Behind that enigmatic smile, Shang Shaochang, what are you thinking?

The bright moon shines, when can I pluck it? My sorrow is endless.

The bright moon shines, when will it ever be full? Knowing of our separation, my heart is weary and my body is exhausted.

The bright moon shines down on my clothes; it just came to mind, and I hesitated to say goodbye.

The bright moon shines, yet my heart is filled with sorrow; the gentleman's conduct is steadfast, though the cicadas have faded in the cold weather.

The elm tree of Dongguo, the jade of Xipu; I hold my pen, to record my thoughts.

Thinking of your journey, recalling your words; alas, I am far away, please wear warm clothes.

It was June then, time to take off your clothes; the outside world probably wasn't as perpetually snowy as Meigu. Had the "gentle" killer caused you any trouble? Were you wandering the world like a prodigal son? ...Most importantly, had you been thinking of me every day these past few days?

I idly plucked the strings with my fingers, softly singing the newly composed lyrics. Master Feng was truly an excellent teacher. His vast knowledge astonished me! Moreover, he seemed to teach me something new every day: music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, divination, gardening, astronomy… Master Feng successfully piqued my interest in learning these skills, and for a time, I even forgot about Shang Shaochang. However, every night, my thoughts would drift back to that wandering soul, whose whereabouts were unknown…

You bastard, Young Master Shang, you wouldn't just forget about me like this, would you?

My hand gently caressed the strings. The zither was a top-quality Jiao Wei Qin, at least a hundred years old, with a clear and bright tone that could be heard for miles. Of Master Feng's three specialties, playing the zither was my favorite, and I had devoted the most effort to it over the past three months. In this short time, I had managed to play the basics of "Three Variations on Plum Blossom," which already delighted Master Feng. He patiently explained the finer points and taught me with great care. If I had initially approached him with seven parts reluctance and three parts perfunctoriness, I now genuinely like this kind-hearted and refined master.

"Yi'er, are you missing Young Master Shang again?" Master Feng slowly walked out from behind me, dressed in spotless white robes, stroking his beard and smiling.

I scolded, "Master, why do you always sneak around behind people's backs! You startled me!"

Master Feng chuckled, unperturbed, and said, "Who told you not to work hard enough? You have a lot of internal energy, but you don't know how to use it. It's like someone guarding a mountain of treasure but not knowing how to use it. It's your behavior that makes people worry when you're traveling the world."

I blurted out, "Master, are you getting senile? When did I ever have internal energy?"

Master Feng lightly tapped my head with his fingers, feigning anger, and said, "You little disciple, how dare you say that your master is old? If you didn't have half of Young Master Shang's internal strength, how could you have inherited my 'Ju Xue'?"

"What! What did you say!" I was shocked and momentarily forgot the difference between master and disciple. I shouted, "Impossible! Impossible! I have never had any internal energy. How could Young Master Shang give me his power? What's going on? Master! Master! Why would you say that?"

Looking at my face, which had turned deathly pale, Master Feng sighed softly, “After you came to Plum Valley, did you hardly feel any cold? When you played the Plum Blossom Melody using the unique method I taught you, did you always feel a breath flowing slowly through your body? And, most importantly, did you often feel that your body was much lighter than before?”

"I...I..." My lips moved, but I couldn't utter a single word. Because I knew that I truly possessed all the qualities Mr. Feng had described!

Firstly, after arriving at Plum Valley, I felt warm and comfortable, no longer experiencing the icy chill I had before. Furthermore, Master Feng's teaching of the qin (a seven-stringed zither) was unique; he started with breathing exercises and then focused on the techniques of the ten fingers. After three months of learning the qin, besides gaining considerable insight into the instrument, I also felt light and airy, not only more resistant to the cold than before, but also a hundred times more energetic! I initially thought this was due to the correct method of learning the qin, but I never imagined it was actually like this!

Are you cold?

With you by my side... how could I possibly feel cold?

Go to sleep peacefully, and when you wake up the next day, you won't be afraid of the cold anymore...

So that's how it is... So that's how it is!!

Who wants your kindness! Who wants your inner strength! Do you think you're a saint or some so-called hero! Who wants your concern? Who told you to presume to be kind and think of me!

While Mr. Feng stared in disbelief, I let out a painful scream and slammed my fists into the cold, hard rock wall!

You already live in constant danger. If you lose half of your internal energy, what will happen when you face a "gentle" assassin?! Without half your internal energy, will your Autumn Water Blade be able to unleash its power? Will your lightness skill be able to support you as you fly out of this Jade Dust Cave?!

I pounded on the rock again and again, as if Shang Shaozhang were right in front of me; the rock face was already stained crimson with blood.

Shang Shaozhang, you big idiot! You're the biggest and dumbest idiot I've ever met!

"You're wrong!"

"..."

"Wrong again!"

"..."

"Wrong, wrong, wrong! Completely wrong!"

I sighed, and helplessly raised my head, asking, "Master, where did I go wrong again?"

Master Feng exclaimed, "This 'Three Variations on Plum Blossom' is supposed to be a melody of utmost purity and elegance, how could you play it like a wail? It's full of sorrow, but not a trace of elegance! Start over, start over!"

I nodded slightly, then placed my fingers back on the strings—

If only I could cry right now...

Young Master Shang, are you... are you alright...?

But then he heard Mr. Feng shouting again: "You, you, you... you're hopeless! Look at your finger technique! I don't know how many times I've told you, when you play the Gong Zhuan Hui, your fingers must lightly tap and turn like this. You must never forget these two movements, otherwise, you will not be able to control others, but will be controlled by others..." He stopped talking abruptly.

I looked up and asked doubtfully, "Does playing the zither require controlling the player?"

Master Feng hesitated, staring blankly at my dazed gaze for a long while, then suddenly let out a long sigh and slowly said, "Alas... Yi'er, Yi'er... Once you enter the realm of love, you're entangled in worldly dreams. Do you understand these words?" After saying this, he sighed again, turned around and said, "Tomorrow... no, today, go pack your things and leave the valley!"

Upon hearing this, I couldn't help but exclaim "Ah!" My fingers plucked the string and made a sharp "clang" sound. In my shock, I plucked it and snapped the string! I cried out, "Master...Master! You...you want me to leave the valley? This...why is this?"

Master Feng didn't reply. He rushed to the zither, his hands stroking the strings as he cried out, "Ah—how did it break? My Jiaowei Zither, my Ice Silk Strings!" He kept stroking the strings, his heart aching with pain. Seeing me staring at him blankly, he flicked his sleeves and said impatiently, "You think about him day and night, fearing something might happen to this brat. How could I keep you here in Qiongxie Cave? I might as well let you go. Whether you're destined to be together or not depends on whether you and that boy are meant to be." When Master Feng first met Young Master Shang, he had politely called him "Brother Shang," but now he kept calling him "brat."

I kept twisting my hands together, and even my speech became stuttering. I said intermittently, "Master... Master... You let me leave the valley??" I managed to utter a few words, but I couldn't say anything more.

Master Feng smiled slightly and said, "There are always those who are deeply in love in this world, and this sorrow has nothing to do with the wind and the moon... The word 'love' is inherently difficult. Since you are already caught in love, you should try to find your own way out of it. This world of martial arts is neither too big nor too small. Although I see that you are unwilling to enter the world of martial arts, you have already been in it since you first met Young Master Shang." Master Feng reached out and gently stroked my hair, saying kindly, "Child, since you like him, why don't you go to him? Perhaps he is somewhere, secretly waiting for you, or perhaps he is thinking of you all the time, hoping that you will appear before him. He left you with me, intending to keep you safe and protected from the poison of gentleness... But since you are so unhappy here, you should leave and go to find the man who makes you happy and also makes you sad. Don't you want to go to him? Don't you want to be happy with him?"