Jiangnan Gaiden

Kapitel 77

Fang Huaide's throat trembled, yet he couldn't utter a single word. His eyes widened in utter horror. He clearly had no idea when I had appeared before him or how I had grabbed his throat. Youhua, standing nearby, covered her nose and said, "Sister Bai, please let him go... he stinks..."

I also smelled an unpleasant odor and frowned, saying, "So easily frightened, how boring." With a flick of my fingers, I kicked the young master Fang out the door with a "thud." I clapped my hands and laughed, "Another one escaped!" Turning back, I asked, "Anyone else?" But the hall was silent. It turned out that after I kicked Fang Huaide out, the others had already fled like stray dogs and disappeared without a trace.

Youhua and I looked at each other and burst into laughter, only managing to stop after a while. Youhua, still laughing, clutched her stomach and said, "Bai... Sister Bai... you were so amazing just now! You actually—you actually—scared them all away!"

I laughed for a while and then stopped, shaking my head and saying, "Sigh... Do you like any of these people? Just tell me. But... they're all too timid, and few of them are responsible. I'm afraid they might mislead you."

Youhua gently shook her head and said softly, "Sister Bai always thinks of Youhua and never of herself... Youhua doesn't know how to thank Sister Bai enough... But these people are all just ordinary people and are not worthy of Sister Bai..."

I patted Youhua lightly and said with a smile, "Let's not talk about that. Tomorrow is Qingming Festival, isn't it?"

Youhua looked up at me, and said worriedly, "Sister Bai—"

I smiled and said, "It's nothing, I'll go out for a walk tomorrow."

Chapter Thirty-Six: Guests from Jiangnan

I wrapped my cloak tighter around myself with one hand and led the black horse slowly toward Zhugong Cliff with the other. Ever since Shang Shaochang fell off the cliff, I had dared not come to this place, fearing that the sight would evoke painful memories and make me even more heartbroken. Later, I learned from the locals that this place was called Zhugong Cliff, but now, whatever it was called meant nothing to me.

I pulled down my cloak and brushed the stray hairs from my forehead. We were still about twenty paces from the cliff top. The area below was shrouded in perpetual mist, obscuring the depths. I pulled my cloak tighter and looked around. Back then, in the battle at Zhugong Cliff, Shang Shaozhang alone had killed over twenty grey-clad assassins, causing the most mysterious and ruthless assassin organization, "Gentle," to vanish from the world in a single day. The trees and rocks along the way were soaked in blood, stained a deep ochre, and even the air was thick with the heavy stench of blood. But now, the vegetation before my eyes was no longer as terrifying as it had been then. Perhaps having absorbed enough blood, it had grown lush and verdant, stretching all the way to the cliff top.

There were still more than ten zhang left... This is it. I was still more than ten zhang away from him, so I stretched out my hand with all my might, trying to grab his body that was about to fall...

Young Master Shang—! Let go!!—

Let go!!

Young Master Shang—Young Master Shang—! Young Master Shang—!

I climbed step by step to the top of the cliff, the scream I let out that tore my heart apart still seeming to echo through the mountains. The terrifying battle he fought with Zhan Shang here has now been blown away by the mountain winds without a trace. It's as if all of this was a long nightmare... so long that I don't even know if I'm awake now or still dreaming.

You pervert, go to hell!

Go to hell! Who likes a lecherous bastard like you!

You—you lecherous wretch, don't touch me! ...

Hehe... Little Yi Yi... You always tell me to die, but what will you do if I really die?

...What nonsense are you spouting! You won't die! You scourge will live for a thousand years!

Haha—Yiyi, what would you do if I really died?

Get out of here! I, Baiyi, never, ever want to see you again!

No—No!!

I knelt down with a thud, tears dripping onto my sleeves.

Why...why did I say those things...Shang Shaochang, if I hadn't said those things, could you have lived a good life, stayed by my side, and taken me to see all the beautiful sights in the world? But now...

Now... you've left me all alone, how am I supposed to survive!

"Yi'er—Yi'er—" I opened my blurry, tear-filled eyes and found a man in white standing behind me. He was handsome and refined, with an otherworldly air about him. It was none other than Master Feng. I had been crying so intensely, thinking that no one knew where I had been today, that I was completely unaware that someone was approaching.

Master Feng stepped forward, pulled a white silk handkerchief from his sleeve, and gently wiped away the snot and tears from my face. He said softly, "Who bullied my precious disciple? Tell your master, please."

"Master...Master—" I threw myself into Master Feng's arms and burst into tears. For the past six months, I had been tormented by pain and self-blame, with only one thought in my mind—I killed Young Master Shang! This thought weighed heavily on me like a boulder, making it hard to breathe. But seeing Master Feng now, all the pent-up emotions in my heart finally burst forth! Tears streamed down my face, soaking Master Feng's white robes.

Master Feng gently patted my back and said kindly, "Good child, good child... You must have suffered a lot when your master is not by your side. If you have any grievances, just tell your master..." Hearing this, my heart ached, and tears fell uncontrollably again, but I could not stop crying no matter what I did.

Mr. Feng grabbed my hand and led me down Zhugong Cliff, saying slowly, "Yi'er, is this for Young Master Shang?"

I nodded vigorously, sobbing, "Master...Master...is it all my fault? Is it all because I'm bad...If I had listened to his advice and stayed in Qiongxie Cave, Young Master Shang...he wouldn't have..."

“Silly child…” Mr. Feng stroked my hair and said softly, “You did nothing wrong… A man would do anything for the woman he loves…” Seeing that I slowly stopped crying, he sighed, “None of you were wrong. The only mistake is the injustice of fate! Yi’er, Shang Shaozhang died for the one he loved, but he was happy in his heart… The dead are gone. If he has a spirit, he would not be happy to see you in such agony.”

I nodded gently, wiping away the tears on my face. Though my heart was still heavy with sorrow, I could no longer cry. I followed Master Feng slowly back the way we came. We remained silent the entire way, lost in our own thoughts. As the sun slowly dipped below the mountaintop, the orange-red sunset cast a warm glow upon us. Not far ahead, a small nunnery was holding its evening prayers, the soft chanting of the nuns drifting through the air.

I lowered my head and thought for a while before remembering that the nunnery was called Jingci Nunnery. It was renovated with money from Guiyun Manor, and inside was a statue of Guanyin Bodhisattva, named for the Bodhisattva's wise eyes and compassionate salvation. I slowly walked to the nunnery gate and heard chanting inside; it was the "Verse of King Miaose Seeking the Dharma":

...

All love and affection will last, but impermanence makes it difficult to endure.

Life is full of fears, and life is as fragile as morning dew.

Love gives rise to sorrow, and love gives rise to fear.

Those who are free from love will have neither sorrow nor fear.

...

I stood frozen outside the Buddhist temple, the long, drawn-out chants of the nuns mingling with the rhythmic tapping of the wooden fish drum, reaching deep into my heart. I suddenly remembered that when I parted with Shang Shaochang in Plum Valley, he held me in his arms, murmuring these very words. At the time, I had laughed at him, that a fearsome assassin could chant Buddhist scriptures. But now, outside this quiet temple, I understood everything… He wished to make all karma and love converge, to repay his debt! He would rather I blame him, resent him, be angry with him, curse him, hate him for a lifetime, than let me live a good life, live happily… If I hadn't left Plum Valley so early, if I hadn't hurt him, if he hadn't been so determined to die, if… if none of those things had happened, he could have been alive, enjoying his carefree life, riding freely across Jiangnan.

But time flies by so quickly, how can we let all these "ifs" become reality? In reality, that somewhat charming and gentle Shang Shaochang, that Shang Shaochang who took such good care of me and doted on me, no matter how much I cried or how reluctant I was to let go, he will never come back to my side and affectionately call me Yiyi.

"If one is free from love, there is neither sorrow nor fear... But who can tell me how to be free from love? How to forget love? If love is truly easy to forget, then what is the point of vows of life and death, or unforgettable love?!"

I covered my lips with my hand, trying hard not to cry out.

Shang Shaozhang! You're the biggest idiot in the world! You moron!!!

You just jumped off the cliff so gracefully, leaving me all alone to live those terribly lonely days! I try every day to forget you, but you only make me remember you more and more deeply, so deeply that I will live in this longing and memory for the rest of my life!

I wandered back to Yunzhuang in a daze, feeling an indescribable pain and weakness all over my body. It was as if I had used Ju Xue's power again, feeling empty and utterly powerless. Even my mind was blank. I didn't want to speak, nor did I want to do anything; I just wanted to go back to my room and fall into a deep sleep, hoping never to wake up again.

I pushed open the door and saw Youhua sitting at the table, one hand under her cheek, her eyes almost closed with sleep. When she saw me come in, her eyes lit up, and she rushed over to grab my hand, asking anxiously, "Where did Sister Bai go? Why are your eyes red?"

I slowly walked to the bedside and sat down, forcing a smile as I said, "It's nothing, I just went for a walk... Is there anything going on at Guiyun Manor today?"