Jiangnan Gaiden

Kapitel 78

Seeing my smile, Youhua breathed a slight sigh of relief and said, "Several young men have come to propose marriage again—I used the method my sister taught me to send them away, saying that you... saying that you... are old and ugly, and have a strange temperament..."

I laughed and said, "That's right, that's right! Is there anything else?"

"And...and..." I saw a vibrant blush suddenly appear on Youhua's fair and delicate cheeks. Her head slowly drooped, her hands twisting the hem of her clothes, and she stammered, extremely shy. I asked curiously, "What's wrong? Is there something else?"

Yu Hua bit her lip and whispered, "...Good...good to let my sister know...Yu Hua...Yu Hua is getting married..."

"Clatter—" The delicate porcelain teacup in my hand fell to the table, splashing tea everywhere. Youhua exclaimed, "Bai—Sister Bai—are you angry with Youhua? It's all my fault for keeping this from you! If you don't agree, I'm willing…"

I heard the sound of the teacup shattering, and my mind slowly calmed down. I saw tears welling up in Youhua's eyes, her little face pale with fright. Perhaps she thought I had suddenly become angry, which was why she had smashed the teacup. I quickly wiped away her tears and said softly, "Don't cry... It's my fault, I'm so tired today... If you want to get married, how could I not allow it? I wonder which gentleman is so lucky to marry my little sister Youhua?"

A blush crept onto Youhua's face as she whispered, "It's...it's Su Sanshou..."

"Su Sanshou?" I chuckled. "Is that Su Sanshou, the third brother of the Su family?" Among the Su brothers, the third brother is the most handsome and refined. If Youhua were to marry him, it would be a perfect match, a beautiful union. I looked up at Youhua with a smile, but to my surprise, she shook her head and said, "No...no...it's...Brother Su!"

"What?!" I exclaimed in shock, "Su Da! But—but he—"

Youhua nodded gently and said, "Youhua knows... Brother Su has lost both hands and is much older than Youhua... But Youhua comes from a music hall and is not a respectable woman. Brother Su does not look down on her. This is Youhua's blessing..." Her voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible.

"No!" I exclaimed hastily, standing up and grabbing Youhua's hand. "You've been with me since you came from Guiyun Manor. Tell me, who dares say you're from a music troupe! You're exceptionally talented, a rare find in the world. Countless good men would love to cherish you. You—you mustn't—"

A refreshing smile appeared on Youhua's face. I had never seen her smile so happily and beautifully since I met her. Youhua held my hands and said softly, "Youhua knows... ever since I followed Sister Bai, there hasn't been a single thing that wasn't planned for Youhua by her. But... but once you fall in love with someone, who cares about their poverty, beauty, wealth, or glory?... Youhua only knows that he is the only man in the world who truly treats Youhua well, cherishes Youhua, and spoils Youhua. Since Youhua entered the music hall, she has met countless men, but who loves Youhua as a person and not just her body? Who can compare to Brother Su, this upright and honorable man?... To make Youhua love him so much, to love him so much that she wants to give him everything, even her life!... Sister Bai, do you know... Youhua has truly fallen in love with him!"

I stretched out my arms and embraced the happy young girl, saying softly, "Sister knows... as long as you two truly love each other, I... I'm really happy for you!"

It was late at night.

I picked up the earthenware jar in front of me, poured the clear liquid into a jade cup, tilted my head back, and swallowed this cup of exquisite white plum wine.

The wine is cold.

My heart grew even colder.

I drank the wine in large gulps, joining Su San in a toast. This was the second time I'd tasted these "Three Friends of Winter," but this time, I'd downed all three jars by myself. Yet, I remained so clear-headed, so clear that every word Youhua spoke was crystal clear, deeply imprinted in my heart—

Sister Bai, you absolutely must attend our wedding!

Sister Bai, would you change out of your black clothes and dress us in beautiful red ones?

Sister Bai, you must be our officiant at the wedding...

I'm so jealous of her!

I've never been so jealous of anyone! This feeling almost burned up with the wine I slowly drank, burning me completely inside and out! I was jealous of the happy smile on her face, I was jealous of the shy expression on her face when she talked about her sweetheart, and I was even more jealous that she would soon be happily married and become the most beautiful bride!

I bent over, my whole body trembling uncontrollably in pain, and when I opened my mouth, all that came out was acidic fluid.

Getting married—that's a dream I can never achieve in my entire life!

I picked up the jade cup brimming with wine, tears streaming down my face into the cup… What I waited for, what I longed for, was someone who would never return to my side! I will never wear a wedding dress and be his most beautiful bride in this lifetime! What I envied and envied was a dream that almost every woman in the world would realize!

This dream is just too difficult for me... too difficult...

Birds chirped outside the window, and a gentle breeze carried the faint scent of morning dew. Sunlight streamed through the carved wooden window frames, illuminating my black clothes and jolting me awake from a night of heavy drinking—my cold fingers pressed against my forehead, but they couldn't dispel the lingering fatigue and soreness. I coughed a few times, then used my hands to prop myself up on the edge of the bed and dragged myself onto the bed.

I actually slept right next to the bed all night! ...So be it, let me just stay drunk like this...

When I'm drunk, I'll forget all these painful memories... Let this wine deeply numb my body and my heart, let me see you in my dreams, let me see you in my illusions! Are you still waiting for me outside the bamboo grove, still standing on the highest bamboo branch, in your green robe, playing that beautiful tune for me? Will you stay by my side with that bamboo flute, never leaving me again?

I slowly got up, only to taste an incredibly salty, metallic flavor in my mouth, a taste I couldn't quite describe. My black clothes were stained with indistinguishable marks of alcohol, tears, or blood. All I remembered was drinking those three cans of strong liquor last night, my chest heaving with nausea. In the middle of the night, I vomited several mouthfuls of blood, and eventually, I didn't know if I'd fallen asleep or passed out… I picked up a cup of cold tea from the table, poured it into my mouth, and forced myself to swallow the salty taste. After a quick wash, I changed into clean clothes, pushed open the door, and slowly walked out of the house.

The gentle spring sunshine felt exceptionally warm on my skin. Walking on the newly sprouted grass, it was as comfortable as walking on brocade; the peach blossoms around the village were laden with blossoms, and everywhere I looked seemed peaceful and beautiful.

"You number one scoundrel! How could you let Sister Bai drink!" I frowned, and Xiao Lü's angry voice came from behind a clump of artificial hills. Yun Yiyang stammered, "I—I really didn't know! Is it that important?"

"Is it serious? It could kill someone! Isn't this serious?!" Xiao Lü grabbed Yun Yiyang's collar and said angrily, "Sister Bai's heart and lungs are injured, her blood and qi are stagnant, and she often coughs up blood. This disease is most afraid of drinking alcohol. Drinking alcohol will accelerate the flow of qi and blood, and there is a risk to her life! How could you not know this!"

Yun Yiyang let Xiao Lü hold him, his lips trembling, repeatedly saying, "How could this be—how could this be—" but he couldn't finish the sentence.

Xiao Lü stared at him intently for a long time, then finally sighed softly and released his hand, saying, "You...you know, when I went to Sister Bai's place yesterday, I found that I could smell the Four Harmony Nourishing Heart Soup that I made for her coming from under the bamboo trees outside her house...I don't know when she threw away the medicine, how could she...how could she treat her body like this, and she even taught you to bring her wine!! How could Sister Bai be so determined to die!"

Yun Yiyang's expression changed drastically. He grabbed Xiao Lü's arms tightly and shook them, shouting, "Sister Bai! How is Sister Bai now! You—you tell me quickly!!"

Little Green stared at him blankly, neither struggling nor dodging, only softly saying, "Little...Little Yunzi, you still like Sister Bai, don't you?..."

Upon hearing Xiao Lü utter those words, Yun Yiyang's entire body suddenly trembled. His hands slowly stopped moving, and his large eyes revealed a look that was hard to tell whether it was confusion or bewilderment. He stammered, "I...I..."

"You still like Sister Bai more, don't you?" Little Green's pink lips trembled slightly, tears glistening between her long eyelashes. She whispered, "I know... I know... When you brought Sister Bai back, I knew that, in the end, you still liked Sister Bai more..."

"I...I don't know! I don't know!" Yun Yiyang's body trembled uncontrollably. Suddenly, he opened his arms and forcefully hugged Xiao Lü's slender body, repeatedly saying, "I like you, I like you! But I..."

“Xiao Yunzi… Xiao Yunzi…” Xiao Lü slowly raised her head from Yun Yiyang’s arms, gently wiping away the tears on his face, and said slowly, “Xiao Lü has no father or mother, and even the only brother in the world who loved her the most is gone… If it weren’t for Xiao Yunzi and Sister Bai, Xiao Lü wouldn’t know what to do… Even if you… even if you only like Xiao Lü a little bit, just a little bit, Xiao Lü will like it very much, and be very happy!… You are good to Xiao Lü, and Sister Bai is good to Xiao Lü too. Although Sister Bai’s illness is serious, her most serious ailment is in her heart. If the knot in her heart is not untied, her illness will be difficult to cure. If you marry Sister Bai, perhaps under your care, Sister Bai’s heart ailment will gradually disappear…”

My face turned deathly pale, and I covered my mouth tightly with both hands to keep myself from making a sound. I carefully and quietly stepped out from behind the artificial hill, walking straight to the grass a hundred paces away.

How could this happen... How could this happen?!

Everything is in chaos! Chaos... How can Yun Yiyang still like me! How could Xiao Lü have found the medicine I poured out! How can I marry Yun Yiyang?! -- I suddenly felt a complete darkness all around me, so dark that I could hardly breathe! Even if I were extremely calm, all these things pressing down on me at once made me feel like my whole body was being torn apart, my limbs and bones were falling apart!

What should I do? What should I do?!

I don't know when, but I found myself sitting on the grass, my black clothes almost soaked with sweat.

Perhaps it's time for me to leave Guiyun Manor.

However, without Guiyun Manor, though the world is vast, where can I, in my white robes, find refuge?

I sat on the edge of the bed, mechanically packing my meager belongings, my mind a complete blank.