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Chapitre 46

After paying his respects at the altar, Pang Di noticed a plain sheet of paper laid out before the memorial tablet, on which was written a poem, "Remembering an Old Friend": The candlelight flickers red as night deepens, I awaken from my drunken stupor, my heart heavy with weariness. Who will sing "Yangguan" before me, our parting sorrows stretching to the ends of the earth? Helplessly, the clouds disperse and the rain ceases. Leaning on the railing, tears well in my eyes as the east wind blows. After the crabapple blossoms, when the swallows return, dusk falls in the courtyard.

"This must have been written by the prince consort to the princess, right?" she asked Hao.

Hao said, "It should be. My brother-in-law drank a lot of wine the night before he left Beijing, and wrote it in a drunken and sorrowful state."

"Probably." Even Hao's tone suggested uncertainty. Pang Di thought to himself, "If I were to ask myself, would the prince consort be certain whether he was reminiscing about the princess or bidding farewell to Xiaowu?" Only he himself knew. Even if he genuinely repented, the princess's life was the only proof of her deep affection that earned him this poem of remembrance—the price was far too high.

Facing Hao with a somber expression, she exchanged a few words before rising to take her leave. Hao saw her all the way to the gate. Just as she was about to get into her carriage, she suddenly remembered something and turned back to ask him, "Did Your Highness plant lotus flowers this year? Have they bloomed yet?"

Hao smiled and said, "I've been planting them all along. This year's have already bloomed, and they're exactly the same as the ones my sister-in-law planted."

She then smiled.

Hao walked slowly closer, took out the gold hairpin she had left with him years ago from his sleeve, and said, "I almost forgot, this hairpin should have been returned to my sister-in-law long ago."

Pang Di hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to accept the hairpin. After all, she hadn't repaid the money she owed him, and accepting it would put her in a debt of gratitude. Hesitantly, she asked, "Did Your Highness know I was coming today? Why did you bring the hairpin with you?"

Hao replied, "I have always carried this hairpin with me since that day we parted."

Suddenly, a cold laugh was heard. A few steps away, the curtain of a sedan chair was lifted, and a person holding a folding fan stepped out, looking at them with a cold and sarcastic gaze.

It was Wang Pang. Behind him was another sedan chair, from which his younger sister Wen'er emerged.

It turned out that Wang Pang was still uneasy after Pang Di left. He knew that Zhao Hao was in charge of the princess's funeral, and Pang Di would definitely meet with him. The more he thought about it, the more worried he became. Finally, he couldn't contain himself any longer and prepared to go to the princess's residence. Wen'er had also heard that Pang Di was going to the princess's residence to pay his respects and was complaining that she hadn't been taken along. Now, seeing her brother ordering someone to prepare a sedan chair, she immediately followed him. Just as they arrived at the gate, before they even got out of the sedan chair, they saw the two of them coming out. So Wang Pang didn't rush to show himself and deliberately wanted to hear what they were talking about. Hearing them laughing and chatting amicably about planting flowers already made him unhappy, but what happened next was even more outrageous. Pang Di's hairpin was in Zhao Hao's hands, and Zhao Hao actually said, "Since that day we parted, I have always carried this hairpin with me!"

No wonder she hasn't worn this hairpin since she returned from Hangzhou. It turns out she gave it to Zhao Hao, and he has been carrying it with him ever since!

Consumed by rage, he got out of his sedan chair and stared at them.

Hao and Di both knew that he must have misunderstood. Hao said "since that day" refers to the time they parted at the princess's residence last year. On that day, Hao said that he would return the hairpin to Pang Di when they met again, but he knew that they could not meet. He did not know when "next time" would be, so he kept the hairpin with him after returning home, waiting for the chance to return it to her in person.

This idea, though seemingly simple, revealed her deep affection. But before Pang Di could fully appreciate it or be moved, her husband appeared with a chilling aura, clearly foreshadowing the start of a new storm.

Wang Pang stared at them, his gaze slowly shifting between the two of them, his eyes dark and unfathomable, as if he were lost in thought.

Hao thought that he was probably about to make a move again. Fearing that he would hurt Pang Di, he stepped forward to shield Pang Di behind him, and then met Wang Pang's gaze without fear.

Wen'er looked on, somewhat confused, and stood aside without saying a word.

Pang Di wanted to explain, but the matter of the hairpin couldn't be explained in just a few words. While she was still struggling with this, Wang Pang smiled, gently fanning himself with a folding fan as he approached Hao, saying softly, "My wife has lost this hairpin for a long time. It turns out His Highness Prince Qi found it. I thank him on her behalf." He gave a slight bow, then took the hairpin from Hao's hand, and said gently to Pang Di, "My lady, His Highness Prince Qi returned the hairpin to you. Why didn't you accept it? You didn't even thank him. How rude of you! Here, let me put the hairpin on you."

He extended his hand to her with a smile, his expression relaxed and peaceful, with no trace of the anger he had shown moments before.

Pang Di and Hao were both somewhat surprised, not understanding Wang Pang's intentions. They exchanged a glance, neither of them feeling quite uneasy. But Wang Pang had already reached out and taken his wife's hand, pulling her closer. He gently put one arm around her waist and carefully placed the hairpin in her hair with the other, then looked at her with a smile, seemingly very satisfied.

He then bid farewell to Hao, saying, "My wife has troubled Your Highness for quite some time. I will take her back with me. I will certainly repay Your Highness's kindness in returning the hairpin in the future."

Without waiting for Hao's reply, he turned his head and whispered softly in Pang Di's ear, "My lady, let's take the carriage home together." His attitude was extremely intimate.

Pang Di could only nod and get into the carriage with him. Green Sleeve then got into the sedan chair that Wang Pang had just used. Before leaving, Wang Pang called for Wen'er to get into the sedan chair, but Wen'er said, "I haven't gone in to pay my respects yet. I'll come back by myself in a sedan chair later." Wang Pang then ignored her and ordered the coachman to urge the horse towards home.

Hao frowned as he watched their carriage drive away, a lingering unease in his heart. Wen'er, however, had already silently approached him and asked directly, "Does Your Highness like my sister-in-law?"

Hao was taken aback, then realized that she, like her brother, had misunderstood that he and Pang Di had a secret affair. But he didn't know how to explain it for a moment. Wen'er had asked him if he liked Pang Di. If he were to answer honestly, the answer would be yes. So after a moment of silence, he finally nodded.

Wen'er felt a chill in her heart and gritted her teeth, thinking fiercely: I really underestimated them! However, her expression remained calm, and she asked casually, "Doesn't Your Highness know that this is immoral?"

Hao remained silent.

“Your Highness’s actions are extremely unwise,” Wen’er continued, with a maturity beyond her years: “How could you set someone else’s wife as your target? One wrong move and you would be ruined. Your Highness is not a young and impetuous philanderer. You should not let dangerous emotions drive you to pursue someone who will not benefit you in any way. Instead, you should rationally and wisely choose a woman who can help your career and future as your marriage partner.”

"A woman who can help my career prospects?" Hao asked. "What kind of woman could help my career prospects?"

Wen'er said, "A smart woman should not only be knowledgeable in poetry and literature, but also understand politics, have a correct understanding of current affairs and be able to formulate corresponding countermeasures. Moreover, it would be best if she came from the family of a high-ranking official whom the Emperor trusts most. Choosing her family is equivalent to choosing a position consistent with the Emperor, and choosing her is equivalent to choosing a strategist and assistant who can help you achieve your ideals. In this way, you can quickly sweep away your current predicament, gain the Emperor's trust and the support of the ruling ministers, and realize all your ambitions and ideals. Why not do it?"

Hao smiled and said, "Does such a woman exist?"

“Yes, for example, me!” Wen’er answered his question clearly and calmly: “I am the daughter of Wang Anshi, the Chancellor. My father is the most trusted minister of the emperor. I have the clear mind and keen judgment needed to help you make great strides in politics. If you marry me, you will soon be able to control the affairs of the court like my father, instead of lamenting the wasted years as you are now.”

Hao looked at her, a hint of surprise rising to his brow, then gradually fading. “Miss Wang,” he replied, equally clear and calm, “I believe that marriage, like ideals and ambitions, is a very important matter, one that affects one’s entire life, and I will treat it with utmost care. I do not want to link marriage with politics. If the purpose of marrying is merely to gain control of the court, then it is not a true marriage, but merely a strategic arrangement or a political transaction. Moreover, if I want to change my stance to gain the Emperor's trust, I can achieve the same goal without marriage. My first marriage was arranged, and for various reasons, it left many regrets. Therefore, if I were to marry again, I would certainly marry someone I love, support, and spend my life with, according to my own wishes. If Miss Wang is looking for someone who can accept your help, help you achieve your ideals, and even rise to prominence, then I will absolutely fail to live up to your expectations. To you, I am too dull and stubborn, not even as worthy of your hopes as a scholar in plain clothes. Thank you for your kindness, but I am deeply sorry.”

After a long pause, Wen'er managed a weak smile and said, "Your Highness's answer was so resolute. Aren't you afraid I'll be heartbroken and do something rash?"

Hao bowed and said, "Hao apologizes again to Miss. However, since Miss can think so clearly about the implications of our marriage, she must not truly care about Hao, but only thinks that Hao is a decent person to entrust one's life to. If a person is truly devoted to another, they will not consider so many external factors."

Wen'er stared at him for a long time, then resolutely turned around, got into the sedan chair, and left.

White silk

As soon as he boarded the carriage, Wang Pang's smile vanished, replaced by a chilling expression that seemed to freeze the air. Pang Di quickly realized that his gentle words and tenderness were just a facade for others, especially Hao, and that a storm was inevitable.

He neither looked at her nor said a word the whole way. Only after they got off the bus at the door of their house did he grab her hand and walk quickly toward the Wenxing Tower.

He walked very fast, and she couldn't keep up with his pace, so she almost had to run. Moreover, he gripped her wrist tightly, causing her pain. So she asked him to slow down and let her walk by herself, but he ignored her and continued to pull her upstairs without stopping.

He finally entered her room. Without saying a word, he raised his hand and slapped Pang Di across the face twice, then threw her heavily to the ground.

"So you two were already hooking up in Hangzhou!" he roared. "Shameless adulterers!"

Although she was mentally prepared, Pang Di was still deeply hurt by Wang Pang's arrogant behavior and his vicious insults. "Adulterous couple"? She had never been so severely insulted in her life. In the past, even hearing this word used to describe others would have made her feel that it was an affront to her ears, but now her husband was using it to describe her and her innocent friend.

"You are such a narrow-minded and thoughtless person!" she said to him, tears welling in her eyes. Amidst her anger and sorrow, this was the only conclusion she could draw based on all her feelings at that moment.

"Then tell me what it means to be magnanimous, what it means to be wise?" His gaze and the cold smile on his lips were sharp and aggressive: "Is it to turn a blind eye to the fact that you two are having an affair, or even to act as a go-between to help you two have an affair, in order to meet your standards of magnanimity and wisdom?"

"What makes you say we're having an affair?" Pang Di frowned and said angrily, "My relationship with Prince Qi has always been completely innocent. It's your own unfounded suspicion and paranoia that's the problem!"

Wang Pang grabbed her hair, pulled out the gold hairpin, and held it in front of her, demanding, "Why did this hairpin disappear after you returned from Hangzhou, and now it's in Zhao Hao's hands? He even said to you with such tenderness that he had carried the hairpin with him since we parted. I heard that with my own ears, so don't try to deny it! It's obvious that you fell in love with him at first sight in Hangzhou, gave him the hairpin as a token of your love, and then came back to me to put on a show. I'm afraid you had planned all along that you would remarry him as soon as I died, didn't you?"

Pang Di stood up and stared at him, rebuking him: "So you can't use your brain! If I was using the hairpin as a token of love, why would he return it to me? I pawned this hairpin in Jiangning to raise money to buy Qiu Niang, who sold herself to save her husband. Later, Prince Qi saw my plight and redeemed it for me. He always wanted to return it to me, but I had no money to repay him, so I never accepted it. He said that he had been carrying the hairpin with him since we parted because he didn't know when he would meet me again, so he carried it with him in preparation for giving it to me when we met."

Wang Pang, however, did not believe it and sneered, "Several years have passed since you gave him the hairpin. You have had so many years to think, so you can naturally make up an impeccable lie." With that, he casually ripped the tablecloth, and the cups, saucers, and teapots on the table crashed to the ground and shattered.

Pang Di was speechless for a moment, simply unable to believe that this unreasonable man before her was the husband she had loved for so many years. The clearly visible veins on his forehead and his bloodshot eyes were signs of his rage; he had clearly been consumed by intense jealousy and resentment, becoming like a ferocious beast that could tear her apart at any moment.

At this moment, her maids came running at the sound, and screamed in fright upon seeing the scene. He angrily shouted "Get out!" and they rushed downstairs as fast as they could.

“You slut, why don’t you keep denying it?” He grabbed her chin and said fiercely, “It’s always a little embarrassing to have your lie exposed, isn’t it? But you’ve already done something like adultery, what else could make you blush? Tell me, how did you two get together in Hangzhou? He’s a prince, young and handsome, healthy, better than my sickly husband in every way, so you fell for him at first sight, didn’t you? Besides giving him your hairpin, did you give him anything else? Did you give yourself to him as well…”

Unable to bear it any longer, she abruptly broke free from him and angrily retorted, "You're insane! How could you come up with such shameless slander! I seriously doubt if you're even thinking straight, if you realize what you're saying! I've never thought you were sickly, but now I feel your mind is a hundred times weaker than your body! Where's your confidence? Where's your elegant demeanor? Why are you so afraid of Prince Qi? From the beginning, you deliberately avoided mentioning him to me, and every time I met him, you were filled with unease and fear. Now you're even speculating that I have an affair with him. Is he really that insecure to you? Don't you even have the courage to compare yourself to him?"

Enraged, he grabbed her again and began to beat her, shouting as he did so, "So you really think he's perfect? He makes me feel inferior because I'm sick, and not only physically but also mentally! Fine, I am sick, but I'm not so sick that I can't discipline my own woman! Do you know what the consequences of infidelity are? I warned you long ago that if you continue your relationship with Zhao Hao, one day I will kill you both..."

His strength was astonishing; Pang Di could barely resist. After struggling for a moment, she finally gave up, indifferently letting him vent his anger by hitting her. She no longer shed tears, only feeling that all the beautiful memories of him in her heart had been destroyed, and her heart was slowly dying.

Fortunately, Wang Anshi received a report from Pang Di's maid and rushed in with his men to stop his son's madness. He scolded Wang Pang and ordered his men to pull him downstairs. Then he personally helped Pang Di up, looking ashamed and sighing repeatedly. He comforted her gently and apologized to her on behalf of his son.

Pang Di sat down silently by the bed, neither speaking nor crying. Seeing Wang Anshi looking at her with concern, she spoke softly, "Father-in-law, you don't need to worry about me. Please go back. I want to rest alone for a while."

Wang Anshi sighed helplessly and turned to leave. Seeing Wen'er also coming up to look at him from the doorway, he told her to go in and keep her sister-in-law company, but Wen'er pouted and ran downstairs before him.

Pang Di then dismissed the maid from her room and locked herself inside. She refused to eat the dinner brought by the maid and ignored the doctor that Wang Anshi had invited for her, sitting silently alone until late at night.

No candles were lit, but moonlight streamed into the room through the small window. Was it the fifteenth of the lunar month tonight? It was another moonlit night, a beautiful scene for many other lovers. But for her, it all meant nothing; it was all coming to an end.

She rose, lit the candle on the table, picked up her brush, and used the last bit of ink in the inkstone to write a few words on a piece of paper: If you don't love me, why did you marry me? Since you've married me, why don't you cherish me? Even if you don't cherish me, how can you doubt me?

Then she took out a piece of white silk and hung it on the beam.

She leaned her head into the ring, kicking away the stool she had been using as a stepping stone without hesitation. She immediately felt the white silk ribbon tighten around her neck, and through the suffocating air, she smelled the rapidly approaching scent of death.

She did not disappear in the clear moonlight of the night. Someone burst into the room, cut the white silk ribbon hanging from the beam, caught her steadily in their arms, and then carried her to the bed, performing first aid in a slightly flustered manner.

She had been hanging for a short while when she gradually regained consciousness. Upon opening her eyes, she discovered that the person who had saved her was Prince Qi, Zhao Hao.

"Why did you do such a foolish thing?" he asked.

She replied sadly, "My relationship with him is over; there is no joy in living with him anymore."

He was silent for a moment, then suddenly smiled faintly and said, "How could you die? Have you forgotten? You still owe me a thousand strings of cash."

She wanted to laugh, but before her lips could curve into a smile, two tears fell.

He sighed softly, pulled her close to his chest, and said, "Cry if you want to. I didn't bring a handkerchief, but you can use my clothes to wipe your tears."

Finally, she allowed her long-suppressed tears to flow freely, unabashedly pouring out her pent-up sorrow, anger, and grievances in front of Hao. He quietly watched over her until she gradually calmed down after her tears had soaked most of his shirt.

She wiped away the last tear before realizing how strange Hao's appearance was, and asked him, "Why is Your Highness here? Did Wang Pang allow you to enter the manor?"

Hao smiled shyly and said, "I climbed over the wall to get in." He had been uneasy ever since Wang Pang took Pang Di away, knowing that Wang Pang wouldn't let it go easily and might make things difficult for Pang Di when they got home. He couldn't shake his anxiety, so he went to the Prime Minister's residence after dark, but couldn't find a reason to enter, knowing Wang Pang wouldn't let him. After thinking for a long time, he finally decided to take the risk and climb over the back wall. Luckily, no one saw him. He found Pang Di's door but didn't dare enter, silently waiting outside. Unexpectedly, he heard a stool fall over, and peeking through the window, he saw she was trying to hang herself. He immediately broke down the door and rescued her.

Upon hearing this, Pang Di felt a warm sensation spread through her heart, but she felt a little shy when she thought of his actions, so she lowered her head and did not reply.

Hao looked at her closely, examining her wounds and bruises, and shook his head, frowning, saying, "He actually beat you up like this!"

Pang Di then recalled Wang Pang's vicious words and beatings, her expression filled with sorrow, tears welling up in her eyes. Hao gently embraced her with boundless tenderness, saying, "I will never let him bully you again."

The action was natural; she felt no aversion or embarrassment, but she felt cold and that leaning on him would warm her up.

After a long while, when her maid came in, he didn't rush to release her. He just slowly turned around to look at them, recognized Green Sleeve as someone he had seen before, nodded to her, and then said, "Please take me to see Master Wang, young lady."

Greensleeves was taken aback at first, but then readily agreed.

Hao bid farewell to Pang Di, rose, and followed Lüxiu downstairs. Before leaving, he glanced at the words Pang Di had written on the table, picked them up, folded them into his sleeve, and took them with him.

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Private Letter

Wang Anshi was already quite surprised to see Prince Qi visit him so late at night, and he was even more astonished after understanding his purpose. Zhao Hao bluntly told Wang Anshi that he wanted to propose to Wang Anshi's daughter-in-law, Pang Di, the wife of Wang Pang, and hoped that Wang Anshi would agree to let her remarry him.

Hao took out the last words Pang Di had written that night and handed them to Wang Anshi, telling him about Pang Di's attempt to hang herself. He said, "Before Miss Pang was married, my mother intended for me to marry her as my concubine, but I did not agree at the time. Now it seems that I was wrong. However, given your son's attitude towards Miss Pang, I believe that if I correct this mistake now, it would not be an immoral act."

Wang Anshi unfolded the letter and saw that Pang Di's few words were filled with pain and despair. Recalling his son's neglect and escalating mental torment towards her over the years, he felt deep sorrow for her. He had always sympathized with his daughter-in-law's plight and felt immense guilt towards her. He had repeatedly considered finding her another husband, but she had always refused, and the matter had been delayed. Now, however, his son's mental state was deteriorating, driving her to the brink of suicide. It seemed that a decision had indeed been reached. Although he was open-minded and had always wanted his daughter-in-law to remarry, he hesitated when faced with the Prince of Qi's marriage proposal. After all, the Prince of Qi wanted to marry his daughter-in-law, his son's wife, not his daughter. If he truly agreed to his request, how could his son bear it?

Confused and unable to make a decision, he finally said to Hao, "Your Highness, please return to your residence and wait. I will consider it and give you an answer in a couple of days."

Hao nodded, took his leave, and departed.

Wang Anshi spent a sleepless night, and the next day, an unexpected event dealt him another heavy blow.

After the morning court session that day, Zhao Xu specifically asked Wang Anshi to stay behind and invited him to the Miying Pavilion for a meeting, saying that he had a secret document to review. Wang Anshi, without suspicion, thought it was just like a private meeting between the emperor and his minister, and gladly went.

Upon arriving at the Miying Pavilion, Zhao Xu specially offered Wang Anshi a seat and ordered someone to pour him tea. After chatting warmly and inquiring about Wang Anshi and Wang Pang's recent situation, he had a thick stack of documents brought to Wang Anshi and asked him to read them. He said, "Someone presented these documents to me, saying that they were found by chance in a pile of old papers. I noticed that the handwriting was very similar to yours, my dear minister. I did not believe it and rebuked that person, saying, 'How could Master Jiefu do such a deceitful thing?' Perhaps someone was imitating your handwriting and deliberately making this joke."

Wang Anshi was shocked when he opened the documents: they were all letters or notes he had privately written to Lü Huiqing several years earlier during the reform process. At that time, the struggle between the old and new factions was extremely fierce. On the one hand, the old faction vehemently attacked the new party's actions as rebellious and disruptive to the people before the emperor; on the other hand, they supported Feng Jing, the then Vice Chancellor, as their leader, urging him, in his capacity as Vice Chancellor, to do his utmost to prevent Wang Anshi from implementing policies that would harm the interests of the old faction. Wang Anshi knew the power of public opinion; even if the emperor trusted him greatly, under the repeated attacks and questioning from the old faction, his attitude towards the implementation of the new policies might change from firm to hesitant. Feng Jing was also accustomed to frequently opposing his opinions and criticizing the actions of the new party. Therefore, in these instructions and notes to Lü Huiqing, he often instructed him to be careful to keep them secret, and not to let the emperor and Feng Jing know unless absolutely necessary. The letters often contained phrases such as "do not let the emperor know" and "do not let Qi Nian know." "Qi Nian" refers to Feng Jing, because Feng Jing and Wang Anshi were born in the same year, so Wang Anshi used "Qi Nian" to refer to him in his private letters.