Jiangnan Gaiden - Capítulo 23
"It's better to say things out loud. Keeping them bottled up inside will shorten your life!" She handed Wuxia a cup of tea.
Wuxia was at a loss for words, her mind a jumble of thoughts. Huan'er was the only person she could trust and confide in, which was why she had lost her composure.
"He...he doesn't like me." A sentence that came out of nowhere.
Huan'er crossed her arms, deep in thought. For some reason, she found herself thinking of Leng Gang and Wuxia together. Just now, when she mentioned Wuxia to Wuji, Leng Gang had acted strangely. And Wuxia, who was perfectly normal earlier and later, had inexplicably burst into tears today. Could it be… Leng Gang and Wuxia?
"Leng Gang? You like him, right?" Huan'er asked softly.
Wu Xia nodded without any attempt to hide her feelings, and this unwavering determination made Huan'er realize that these emotions weren't something that had developed overnight. If they were childhood sweethearts, that would make sense. Leng Gang was a man worthy of entrusting one's life to, but understanding him wasn't easy; it required a long period of time to truly appreciate his goodness.
Wu Xiao held her hand.
"Sister-in-law, am I ugly? Why doesn't he like me?"
"Don't talk nonsense. You are stunningly beautiful, no one can compare to you. I think he's more likely feeling inferior. Does Wuji know what's on your mind? How is your relationship with Leng Gang?" she asked.
“Big brother… I don’t know. And Uncle Leng… said that master and servant should not overstep their bounds. Leng Gang… I don’t know what he’s thinking, how would I know? Unmarried girls shouldn’t think about these things, I’m just being wishful thinking.”
Yes. She's judging this era with a 20th-century mindset, which is too far off. In this time, even if a woman is interested, she can't say it openly; she can only sit quietly in her room and let someone come to propose. Leng Gang hasn't shown any interest. How could the woman shamelessly confess her feelings? How could Shi Wuji not know? As for Leng Gang's father, that's the main reason. It's not easy!
The Song Dynasty had a strong emphasis on social class; breaking with tradition required the approval of others. However, she guessed that Wuxia wasn't just being delusional. With just a glance, she could roughly tell that Leng Gang had feelings for someone else. The situation remained deadlocked, the outcome quite clear: the man would live with lifelong regret; the woman would marry and become a resentful wife. No way! She was determined to get involved; her innate meddlesome nature was kicking in again. She took on one problem after another, regardless of whether she could handle it. Besides, wouldn't someone as docile as Wuxia, who wouldn't fight for her own happiness, end up marrying just anyone and ending up miserable? Especially since her heart already belonged to someone else. Anyway, it wouldn't hurt for her to play matchmaker in her spare time, connecting her and Leng Gang. If they were in love, they could be together; if not, there would be a resolution. First, she needed to understand the entanglements between them.
"How could I like him? There must be a reason, right?"
Her flawless, clear eyes became misty! Her gaze drifted into the distance, as if recalling scenes from many, many years ago… After a moment, she spoke softly:
“When I was little, Leng Gang had been by my side since I can remember. He didn’t pay much attention to me or talk to me; he just silently followed me. It was Uncle Leng who asked him to protect me. Because my three older brothers were busy practicing martial arts, Uncle Leng sent them to the snow mountain, and they weren’t at home. So, Leng Gang was like an older brother to me, and also like a father.”
"When I was ten, Uncle Leng took me and Leng Gang to the snow mountain to see my brother, but we were attacked by a pack of wolves halfway there. Hundreds and thousands of wolves surrounded the carriage. Uncle Leng and the driver fought with all their might, while Leng Gang held me tightly. He gripped the reins and spurred the horse to gallop. Some of the larger wolves tried to jump onto the carriage and bite us. They probably saw that I was too small to fight back, so they kept attacking me. The scar on his face was from when he was injured protecting me... from being scratched by wolf claws... At that time, Leng Gang abandoned the carriage to protect me and was knocked out of the carriage by three large wolves, rolling down into a ravine about ten feet deep... Before he hit the ground, he used his body to cushion my fall... but his back was completely disfigured! A sharp, protruding rock almost killed him, piercing his right shoulder, and his entire back was riddled with large and small pebbles and sharp rocks..."
Wuxia wept again, her face filled with self-reproach and pain. She gripped Huan'er's hand tightly, choking back tears, "Uncle Leng had to pull the rock that pierced his shoulder with his bare hands. When we rushed up the mountain for medical help, my brother's masters all said he was beyond saving, that he was doomed! Luckily, a strange man who was searching for medicinal herbs in the snowy mountains happened to pass by and took him away. It took him a year to heal him. Three years ago, he returned to Aolong Fortress. My third brother said he was now a renowned figure in the martial arts world. He had inherited that strange man's extraordinary medical skills and possessed first-rate martial arts... I was so happy he came back. That year I was fifteen..." I've just turned eighteen and received my coming-of-age ceremony, and many people have come to propose marriage. I hope I can be his bride, I hope he will ask my elder brother for my hand in marriage, but he didn't. He stayed for three days and then disappeared, avoiding me during those three days. After disappearing, he never returned to the fort... He doesn't want to stay where I am. Sister-in-law, I love him! It's not guilt, it's not repaying a debt, he's the only one in my heart! Why is he avoiding me! Even if he doesn't want me, just seeing him is enough for me... He came to the ranch today, but I didn't dare to see him, afraid he would disappear again... I'm so sad, sister-in-law—"
Oh! This poor little girl. It's so tragic to be born in this era. Girls can't express their feelings or their opinions. Everything is decided by their fathers and brothers, and marriages are arranged just like that; moreover, with matchmakers arbitrarily arranging marriages, the parties involved have no say whatsoever.
Huan'er deeply admired Leng Gang. How could Leng Gang be so heartless towards her when he protected Wuxia so well? She pondered this for a moment.
"Don't cry, Wuxia. Leng Gang must have felt he wasn't good enough for you, that's why he ran away from you."
Wu Xiao shook her head.
"No, he must hate me to avoid me. I disfigured him and almost killed him..." Wuxia blamed herself for her actions.
Huan'er interrupted her.
"Absolutely not. Let me ask you, Leng Gang's father is Uncle Leng, what kind of person is he? He's just a steward, why do you all respect him so much? Why did Wuji and the others go to the snow mountain to practice martial arts, leaving you alone?" She didn't know anything about the Shi family's past. At this moment, she wasn't trying to find out anything for Su Guangping, but rather she realized that Leng Gang's father must be the biggest obstacle to stopping Leng Gang; anyway, she was also curious about Uncle Leng.
Fortunately, Wuxia didn't think Huan'er was probing anything. She said softly: