Ouyang Xiao gave an ambiguous "Oh".
“I dreamt we were in PE class, and then… we played basketball, jumped rope, played ping pong… you twisted your ankle, and I was so scared. When I woke up, my palms were sweaty… I wanted to talk to someone, I wanted to tell you to be careful, but I didn’t have the courage…” A tear rolled down Song Jing’s cheek, and she covered her eyes with the back of her hand. “If I had told you, you definitely wouldn’t have gotten hurt…”
Ouyang Xiao wanted to say that it wasn't your fault and you didn't need to do that, but in the end, he just opened his mouth and said nothing.
No matter how much time had passed, Ouyang Xiao always remembered Song Jing's expression at that time, a mixture of regret and heartache clearly written on her face, slightly distorted, mixed with tears. Sunlight scattering through the gaps in the branches onto her face seemed to envelop it in a layer of sacred light.
My heart started pounding wildly, and I couldn't calm it down no matter what I did.
When Song Jing turned to look at Ouyang Xiao, her emotions had completely calmed down. She slightly raised the corners of her mouth and said, "Ouyang Xiao, you're right. Nothing is more important than life, so we must live well and work hard for the future."
Ouyang Xiao frowned but didn't say anything.
At this moment, Song Jing's voice was faint, hollow, and blank. Although he was smiling, it sounded as if he was crying.
"We should all live well."
She repeated those words with a smile. On this overcast day, the dark clouds dispersed, and sunlight streamed down. The girl's face held a resolute determination—it seemed she had decided to give up something. That gentle yet inexplicably strong smile was reflected in Ouyang Xiao's eyes. He seemed to see again the girl, whose face he couldn't quite make out, running through the storm on the first day of September, radiating an aura of freedom that he longed for and that stirred his heart.
happiness.
Ouyang Xiao stared blankly as Song Jing left, then blankly lifted her foot and repeated, "We must live well."
It's already been arranged.
Chapter Four
Updated: 2008-04-07 17:28:31 Words: 0
"I'm graduating soon."
"kindness."
After a moment of silence, Ouyang Xiao took out a pretty notebook from his pocket and handed it to Song Jing.
"What's this?"
“The guestbook,” Ouyang Xiao turned her head and explained softly.
Song Jing opened the notebook. It was a brand new notebook, without a single word written on it. She held the notebook; it was light, yet it felt heavy, carrying too much weight. Many words swirled in her mind, but when they reached her lips, only the question remained: "Why am I all alone?"
"I'll have someone else write it later."
"oh."
"Write down the address and stuff more clearly. Oh, and..." Ouyang Xiao tore a page from the notebook and quickly wrote down a few lines. "Here! This is my home address. Also, we have a telephone at home."
"oh."
***
With the matter settled, Ouyang Xiao and Song Jing never spoke to each other again. People went about their own business, and time passed quickly, faster than expected, so fast it was almost unsettling.
In summer, the weather gradually becomes hot.
When dismissing students, teachers always add, "Never jump into water just because you see it. This river has had such and such incidents in the past, and for such and such reasons." After saying all that, the teacher's sharp eyes sweep over the students in the classroom, warning, "If something happens, that's your own problem. We'll only take responsibility at most; you won't lose your lives."
This statement is clearly more effective than anything else.
And so, the most important moment finally arrived. Two weeks before the final day, graduation messages had been circulating at the school for quite some time.
Chu Shuangping, the tallest girl in Class 2 of Grade 6, was the one who initially sparked this wave of comments.
It was a green notebook with a pink lock. A meadow of light and dark green, dandelions floating in the air, a plump panda lying on the grass with its limbs outstretched, and a crescent moon hanging in the sky.
It took a trip to Class 2, Grade 6.
Centered on Chu Shuangping, the notebook was shared with everyone she was close to in the class, from those she had only spoken to a few times to those she had never spoken to at all. By the time it reached Song Jing, the notebook had already passed through a third of the people's hands. Song Jing and Chu Shuangping had only exchanged a few innocuous words in the dormitory, so she didn't have a deep impression of her.
"Xiaoyue, you wrote this?" Song Jing asked, turning around. Li Yueling had once again moved to the seat behind Song Jing on his right. I forgot to mention, the person in front of Li Yueling, the one sitting next to Song Jing, was Su Cheng, that shy, silent boy, almost invisible.
Li Yueling exclaimed in surprise, "Huh, it got here already? That was fast!"
Song Jing didn't understand: "What do you mean?"
Li Yueling shrugged and shook her head: "Where did she tell you to write the message?"
Song Jing said, "She didn't say that someone else gave it to me to write."
"Oh." Li Yueling remained silent.
Song Jing didn't manage to write her message. Chu Shuangping suddenly approached her around noon. When Song Jing looked up and saw the girl leaning against her desk, her first thought was, "So her round, big eyes and round face are a bit like Ouyang Xiao's." Then she gave a mocking smile. She was overthinking it.
Chu Shuangping stood for a while, then said to Su Cheng, "I have something to say to A-Jing. Why don't you go play somewhere else for a while?" His tone was so matter-of-fact that it genuinely surprised Song Jing, but Su Cheng readily offered him his seat. Chu Shuangping sat down without any hesitation.
“Um…” she hesitated, searching for the right words, “Um, did you write that message?” Her big eyes showed difficulty and helplessness.
Song Jing shook his head: "I don't know what to write."
Chu Shuangping hesitated, looking troubled.
Song Jing tilted his head and thought for a moment, then said, "Is it inconvenient for me to write it?"
Chu Shuangping's expression changed immediately, and he said awkwardly, "I'm so sorry, A-Jing, it's not that I'm unwilling, it's just that he said he only wants to know your home address. So... just write a blessing, and you don't need to worry about anything else."
"Him?" Song Jing didn't understand.
Chu Shuangping suddenly stared at Song Jing with extreme envy for a while: "Jing, it's Ouyang Xiao. Although this request is domineering, unreasonable and abrupt, he has never asked anyone else for anything, so I agreed."
Song Jing was stunned for a long time before she said softly, "I understand."
Song Jing had never truly understood Ouyang Xiao. She had thought she understood him, but now it seemed that it was only a small part of him, a side of him that Ouyang Xiao was willing to show her. Sitting quietly alone, occasionally leaning against the railing watching others play and laugh, their faces beaming, she would also purse her lips and smile faintly.
In early May, Song Jing and Ouyang Xiao had a brief conversation, after which they never exchanged glances again. That night, Song Jing was exhausted and fell asleep on the table. The countryside sky was inky black, studded with stars as beautiful as diamonds. Song Jing had a dream about the stars, but was startled awake. Looking up, she saw Ouyang Xiao frowning, glaring at her, but the corners of her mouth were slightly upturned, both cute and mischievous.
Song Jing snapped awake; it was study time! But after sitting for a while, for some reason, she vaguely remembered something and slowly slumped back down. Then she was woken up again by Ouyang Xiao, facing Ouyang Xiao's scrunched-up, unpleasant face. She sat up straight, opened her book for a while, and then slumped back down. And so it went…
However, fate was unkind. Song Jing was exhausted; she had spent a long time reading and doing exercises. Self-study periods had fixed times. Song Jing's deliberate actions only resulted in Ouyang Xiao approaching her twice. The first time, Song Jing resented the punctual bell.
The power suddenly went out when get out of class ended. Chaos erupted in the classroom as people rushed around. A class monitor was shouting loudly. Song Jing obediently waited where she was; in times of trouble, waiting was perhaps the best course of action—was it from which conversation did Ouyang Xiao say that? In the darkness, someone approached and gently tugged at her sleeve.
She turned around and saw a small figure standing beside her; in the darkness, only the outline could be vaguely seen.
"who?"
The man didn't speak, but simply tugged at her sleeve and led her out of the classroom. Song Jing wanted to stop, but before she knew it, only a few scattered people remained in the classroom. Li Yueling was long gone, and where was Ouyang Xiao? Looking at the figure before her, her heart suddenly pounded. Was it him? Could it be him?
Song Jing paused and called softly, "Ouyang?"
The person in front of her froze for a moment, then quickened his pace. In the increasingly empty corridor, he pulled her by the sleeve, leading her through the crowd. In the darkness, the only way to tell if someone was male or female was by the length of their hair. Song Jing had short hair, and the person in front of her also had short hair. She didn't know if he had mistaken her for someone else, or if—
But after thinking about it so much, I wasn't scared at all.
When they reached the light, the person released his hand, turned around and smiled, "It's me." It was actually Su Cheng. He lowered his head, remained silent for a moment, and then said in a very soft voice, "Ouyang Xiao needs to maintain order, so he asked me to pick you up." Su Cheng lowered his eyes and brows, and under the warm orange light bulb, he had a kind of vaguely gentle beauty.
Song Jing didn't know why she thought of the adjectives "gentle and beautiful" to describe a boy, but in her heart, she felt it was the perfect description. Hearing him say that, the slight strangeness that had been in her heart dissipated, and she smiled shyly, saying, "Well... thank you."
"No need, no need, we're deskmates." He smiled and turned his head away.
There was a long silence in the air.
Su Cheng suddenly became flustered, so nervous that he seemed unsure of what to do with his hands and feet. He uttered two words: "I, I..." Looking into Song Jing's completely trusting and clear eyes, he couldn't continue speaking. He paused, then raised his voice two octaves and pointed in the direction of the dormitory: "I should go back too. You should go back quickly as well, or it won't be good if it's closed late."
Song Jing nodded and waited for Su Cheng to leave first. Unexpectedly, Su Cheng also waited for her to leave first, so she had no choice but to turn around and walk towards the dormitory. In May, in the rice paddies, frogs were holding a cheerful concert. As Song Jing passed the corner, she caught a glimpse of Su Cheng still standing there, seemingly lost in thought. She felt something was off, but couldn't quite put her finger on it. Finally, she walked away, out of sight, and dismissed the strange thought from her mind.
Su Cheng stood under the lamplight, the soft orange glow bathing him against a backdrop of deep darkness. He leaned forward slightly until the person was out of sight, then slowly straightened up. He stood there for a while longer before finally walking away.
Ouyang Xiao suddenly stopped Song Jing during lunchtime the next day. Ouyang Xiao had also been a boarding student, but after that incident, he was called home and decided to stay at his second uncle's house. His second uncle naturally took care of lunch and dinner as well. Song Jing ate quickly, slowly went upstairs, intending to do her math problems first, take a nap, and then do her Chinese problems. Ouyang Xiao stood in the stairwell, glanced at her, and went up to the rooftop.
"When did you leave yesterday?" Ouyang Xiao asked before they had even stood still.
Song Jing thought for a moment and replied, "About ten minutes before the dormitory closes."
Ouyang Xiao's face suddenly turned ugly, her brows furrowing into several knots. Song Jing was startled, and an impulse surged within her to smooth out those furrowed brows. "Don't frown!" Song Jing cried out inwardly, a nameless unease churning within her, her face slightly pale.
Ouyang Xiao noticed, and the wrinkles between his brows deepened. He suddenly and quickly turned his head away from Song Jing, and said calmly, "That's good, I'm going back to eat."
Song Jing was stunned: "No...is there anything else?"
Ouyang Xiao suppressed the urge to explain, saying calmly, "It's nothing." How could he say that last night he had intended to… What was he thinking? For a moment, he was lost. The power went out, and his first thought was to take Song Jing's hand and lead her out, but where should he take her? His father was right. What good was maturity when they were so young? What good was considering things thoroughly? He couldn't even support himself; how could he make a promise to the person in front of him?
He can't...
Song Jing watched Ouyang Xiao's figure disappear into the stairwell, her face pale. Then she looked up at the sky. It was May, and the sky was a clear, azure blue, with drifting clouds that sometimes seemed to scatter like wisps of silk. Ouyang Xiao was worried about her, wasn't he? She could see many things in his eyes, but all she could understand was worry.
She's not old enough, not old enough...
After that day, it was the evening with only one day left. The seats had been arranged according to the exam requirements, and the teacher told the students to sit in their assigned seats according to their student ID numbers—that is, the order of the exam. After explaining the exam requirements and what score was needed to get into a top-tier junior high school in the city, she went back to her office.
Song Jing had the diary tucked under her arm. Since that day, she rarely wasted time writing in her diary. She studied diligently, did her homework, and worked very hard. But today, she really wanted to write in her diary. However, after opening the diary, taking out the fountain pen her father had given her, and writing down the date and weather, she found her mind completely blank; she couldn't write anything.
She sat there in a daze.
Much of her time was spent thinking about something, trying to grasp at it, only to find she wasn't tall enough, not even when she jumped. There's a metaphor for this: You desperately want something, but you don't have enough money. You search your pockets, emptying your pockets and offering everything of value to the owner, but they shake their head, saying, "Not enough." And then you have nothing left, only to watch them walk away with it. Now, those things are gone. Song Jing's hands are empty.
It's okay, things will get better.
This phrase was often used by Song Jing's mother to comfort her, and now Song Jing uses it to comfort herself.
Ouyang Xiao sat behind Song Jing—Song Jing's student ID number was first, and Ouyang Xiao's was third. From the beginning of their first year to the end of their second, they had never been deskmates. At their closest, Su Cheng stood between Song Jing and Ouyang Xiao. Now, another person stood between them: Chu Shuangping.
Chu Shuangping poked Song Jing in the back and handed her a dark green notebook. She pointed to Ouyang Xiao behind her and smiled.
Song Jing took it with a puzzled look.
A deep green bow hangs askew, three white leaf-shaped frames float, and rows of fluttering English letters descend, neat and elegant. Opening it, Ouyang Xiao's vigorous handwriting shines through the paper. He wrote: "Freedom is having a place you want to go. I like reading, I like finance, I like law, I like painting. I want to go to Beijing, I want to go to America, I want to become a great marketer, then a hotel owner, a designer." The last line reads: Song Jing. Just two simple words, nothing more.
Song Jing stared blankly at those few lines of text.
Chu Shuangping glanced at the one who was in a daze, then turned to look at the one who was pretending to be calm while reading but whose fingers were trembling slightly. She couldn't help but sigh, reached out and tugged at the expressionless person, urging him to sit in her seat. Only then did she sit down in his seat with a smile.
"Song Jing," Ouyang Xiao finally spoke.
Song Jing looked up: "Hmm?"
"This notebook is for you, don't lose it."
Song Jing said "Oh," nodded, and smiled faintly: "I won't." It was the first gift he gave her, and she said she would protect it at any cost.
silence.
"Graduation is coming." Ouyang Xiao looked out the window. The green mountains were like dark eyebrows, and twilight was faintly enveloping the area. In the distance, there was an old tree in the fields, its branches cutting through the sky. He rested his cheek on his hand and said softly, "Tomorrow is the last day."
"Okay." Song Jing nodded and turned his head away as well.