“Of course I can’t bear to part with him,” Yu Lele said without hiding anything. “Sometimes I dream about him and I still wake up crying.”
“But,” she said softly, “I know what I want. In the end, I still want him to be happy. He’s not a god. Even if he can withstand one sudden hurt, he might not be able to withstand it for a lifetime. I don’t want us to break up when we can’t hold on anymore. By then, it will probably hurt even more people.”
“I had no idea you were a pessimist,” Ye Fei said with a smile.
“Maybe so,” Yu Lele admitted. “The more you see, the more you care, and the more you think. It’s a right to forge ahead when you’re young, but as you get older, you realize that loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be together.”
She turned to look at Ye Fei: "And you, how are you doing?"
Ye Fei's eyes dimmed, and she lowered her head: "Perhaps it's good, but looking at you all, I feel unwilling."
She looked up, something flashing quickly in the corner of her eye: "The boy I liked, when he died he said to me, 'Xiaofei, study hard, and find a good boy to take care of you in my place.' All these years later, I still can't forget his eyes, filled with a little heartache and a little reluctance. I thought to myself, as long as I'm alive, I must never give up."
She looked at the sunset in the distance: "It's true, as long as you're alive, there's a possibility of being together. If you really want to be together, you can still be together."
"You like him too, right?" Yu Lele asked softly.
Ye Fei was startled, looking into Yu Lele's eyes, which were clean and pure. She finally said, "Yes, when I first saw Xu Chen, when I saw his eyes, I was startled. I thought, how could he be so much like the person I like? Later, after getting to know them better, I realized they were quite different in many ways. For example, the boy I liked was more carefree; even when he was sick, he would still look at me with a smile. Xu Chen, on the other hand, was more melancholic, but it was precisely that calm demeanor that was so attractive. Later, when you broke up, I really hated you, hated that you were so heartless as to make him suffer so much. But now I understand you. There are many ways to love; the one you chose was simply the one we hadn't experienced."
Her voice was calm and gentle: "But, Yu Lele, I'm someone who enjoys watching comedies. I hope that one day I can see you standing beside him, and see you two very happy."
In the warm red sunset, they stopped talking and quietly watched the fiery clouds spread in the distance.
That's the direction Xu Chen is in right now, isn't it?
The setting sun cast a rosy glow on the two girls sitting side by side, who sat there quietly with their knees drawn up to their sides, peaceful and serene, like a beautiful painting.
As the New Year approached, Yu Lele received many letters and greeting cards from various people. Some were from readers, some from friends, and the colorful cards covered an entire table.
The largest card was from Lian Haiping. I don't know where he got such a big greeting card. There weren't many words inside, but the tone was quite mournful: "Yu Lele, how did you manage to subdue my grandpa?" He keeps asking me now, "Where's your fierce little classmate? Why isn't she coming to play yet?" It's so annoying. It's really strange; when he sees you, you're hitting me; when he answers your phone, you're yelling at me. Why is he so hung up on you?
Yu Lele laughed as she read, almost able to picture Lian Haiping's puzzled expression. She also thought of her stern grandfather, whom she had only met once. It was unexpected that he had such a deep impression of her, which showed that the old man's aesthetic taste was indeed quite peculiar.
She couldn't help but recall the things she had heard about Lian Haiping over the years: for example, how he was assigned to the Organization and Propaganda Department, where he wore a suit to get off work every day and was very serious; how he seemed to be very popular, with people always trying to introduce him to girlfriends, but he actually claimed that he already had a girlfriend, which greatly disappointed the matchmaking aunties in the office.
The person spreading the news was undoubtedly Xu Yin. While rambling on the phone, she couldn't resist teasing Yu Lele: "Lele, I heard Lian Haiping telling people his girlfriend is teaching in a rural area. Do you know her?"
Yu Lele felt an urge to grab a sledgehammer, knock Xu Yin down first, and then smash Lian Haiping into a pancake.
The most fancy greeting card was from Meng Xiaoyu. His Chinese characters weren't very good, but his English handwriting was much nicer. He said: "Teacher, don't worry, I'm studying very hard now. I will always be responsible for myself because I remember that 600cc of blood in my body belongs to you. I will cherish it, even if it means getting bitten by a mosquito."
Yu Lele looked at the words with satisfaction, as if a slightly grown-up Meng Xiaoyu was standing in front of her, still wearing that familiar smile, with clear eyes.
The thickest letter was from Zhuang Yuewei. To Yu Lele's surprise, there were very few grammatical errors in her letter, presumably because she had started speaking Chinese at home.
She spoke to Yu Lele with a proud tone about her life, about a boy she had met, also of Chinese descent, who was excellent in his studies and especially good at sports. The sweet and innocent expressions in her words were captivating.
Suddenly, Xu Chen was mentioned.
She said, "Teacher, do you remember the photo you gave me before you left? It was of you at the beach, with seagulls behind you; it was so beautiful. I put it on my shelf, and I noticed that my cousin would stare at it for a long time every time he saw it. My mom found it too, and she told me to hide it, but I didn't want to listen to her. Seeing this photo is like seeing you; I don't want to hide you. Teacher, Mom said you know my brother? She said you were classmates, so I guess my brother must like you, right? But I remember you had a boyfriend back then… Oh, I see, my brother had a crush on you, but you didn't give him a chance, right?"
As she wrote this, she drew several broken hearts on the letter, and continued: "My brother is a good person, teacher, please consider it..."
The little girl's letter was long-winded, gossipy, and sincere. Yu Lele looked at the passages about Xu Chen, and though separated by a thin sheet of paper, she vaguely felt that many years had passed. And in this time that seemed like a lifetime had gone by, many things had gradually drifted away.
Some things, once done, can never be undone.
Because there are too many variables in life. Just like I once thought I could stand still and wait for you, but as two years and two more years passed, the waiting became blurry and the persistence became vague. Perhaps, I can no longer wait.
Although you will always hold a place in my heart, the past is the past, and we must always move forward. You have your life, and I will eventually have my own direction.
So let time be an eraser: as the years flow by gently like a stream, as we grow from youthful innocence to gray-haired old age, as we finally find our own happiness, I will still cherish you in the softest corner of my heart—but from now on, it will have nothing to do with love.
Time slipped by relentlessly, and when another spring arrived, her mother asked Yu Lele with anticipation, "You'll be back soon, won't you?"
Yu Lele knew that her mother missed her very much. That longing seeped out from her mother's voice, traveled through the telephone signal, crossed hundreds of kilometers, and struck her heart all the way.
And those familiar people, those familiar places, those familiar things—it's been so long since I've seen them.
Perhaps it's time to go back.
By this time, due to her outstanding teaching performance, Yu Lele had been nominated by the Municipal Youth League Committee as a candidate for "Top Ten Outstanding Volunteers of the Province." Many schools had already extended offers to her, and some media outlets, having seen her "Teaching Diary" from her time in the program, had also invited her for interviews. Furthermore, a publishing house had proposed publishing her "Teaching Diary" as a book, and the contract had already been sent; she was currently considering it.
When life unfolds its bright smile, all the past misfortunes seem to be forgotten and cast aside.
In the spring breeze, Yu Lele sat by the playground watching the students play football, and suddenly missed her home.
I miss the taste of my mother's stir-fried dishes, I miss Uncle Yu telling me stories, I miss Xiao Yutian's wide smile... It turns out, without realizing it, we are already a real family.
And home, I suppose, is that place you'll always miss, no matter how far you go.
As she was lost in thought, a white minivan drove in from outside the school gate. Yu Lele watched curiously as it skillfully turned a corner and stopped in front of the teachers' dormitory. She quickly recognized the driver as Mr. Zhang, the school's driver. As the school's only official vehicle, Mr. Zhang would always use this van to bring back books or stationery that Yu Lele urgently needed whenever he went to town to buy things. Yu Lele happily stood up and ran towards the white minivan, skirting the students playing soccer and the simple flowerbed. Just as she was about to reach the van, she suddenly saw the back door open, and a man and a woman jumped out. Because it was only their backs, she couldn't see clearly who they were, only that they were carrying something with Mr. Zhang.
Only when she got closer could Yu Lele see the girl's face clearly, and she couldn't help but exclaim, "Xu Yin!"
Xu Yin turned her head and bumped into Yu Lele's surprised face. She also cried out, and the two quickly hugged each other, jumping and shouting. Looking at Yu Lele's much thinner face, Xu Yin felt a pang of heartache: "Lele, you've lost weight."
“But I’m much healthier now, I don’t have insomnia anymore, and I have ten white lunulae on my fingernails.” Yu Lele proudly waved her hands in front of Xu Yin, but suddenly heard a cough behind her.
Then, a familiar voice, filled with helplessness and complaint, said, "Yu Lele, why is it that you only ever see Xu Yin and never me?"
Yu Lele turned around in surprise and saw Lian Haiping standing in front of her, smiling and speaking.
No longer wearing Adidas sportswear, but a clean shirt, crisp trousers, and a brown jacket draped over his arm, he looked radiant.
Yu Lele was stunned: This person is Lian Haiping?
Seeing Yu Lele in a daze, Lian Haiping opened his arms and smiled at her: "Yu Lele, you gave her a hug, what am I supposed to do?"
Before she could finish speaking, Yu Lele rushed forward, wrapped her arms around Lian Haiping's neck, and gave him a real hug!
Lian Haiping froze on the spot like a stone statue.
Even Xu Yin was dumbfounded.
A few seconds later, Mr. Zhang returned with his load and, seeing Teacher Yu being watched by the students who had stopped all over the playground, quickly coughed a few times. Yu Lele released his grip amidst the coughing, a mischievous smile on her face: "So, Lian Haiping, now you won't say I'm being biased, will you?"
Lian Haiping was used to joking, so when his dream actually came true, he was a little taken aback and just stared blankly at Yu Lele. His silly look almost made Xu Yin laugh so hard she almost choked.
Yu Lele patted Lian Haiping on the shoulder first: "Hey, is it serious? Are you scared?"
Lian Haiping looked at Yu Lele's sly eyes, feeling both amused and annoyed: "Yu Lele, you're the kind of person who, when you finally speak, makes a stunning debut! Is this how you set an example for your students?"
He pointed to the students who were curiously looking this way from the edge of the playground. Yu Lele turned around and then remembered that there was a group of students watching. She couldn't help but exclaim "Ah!" and her face quickly turned red.
Xu Yin burst into laughter again.
Even after settling into her simple dormitory room, Yu Lele was still overjoyed. She sat on the edge of her bed, looking at Xu Yin and then at Lian Haiping, feeling that today was truly an important day; her best friend had unexpectedly appeared out of nowhere.
"How did you all end up together?" Yu Lele asked Xu Yin and Lian Haiping curiously.
Xu Yin pointed at Lian Haiping and replied with a smile, "The leaders of the Municipal Youth League Committee are coming to visit the volunteer teachers, so of course our TV station has to follow and film the touching moments. We just didn't have time to film that scene, otherwise the ratings would definitely be very high!"
Yu Lele blushed as she thought of the students on the playground earlier. Then she looked at Lian Haiping, whose face was tense and who was obviously pretending to be calm.
Xu Yin laughed loudly, saying between laughs, "I forgot my phone in the car, I'll go get it."
He turned and left.
The room fell silent. Yu Lele looked up and saw Lian Haiping standing straight, looking at her with a slightly embarrassed expression.
After a while, Lian Haiping calmed down a bit and looked at Yu Lele, saying, "The Municipal Youth League Committee sent me to deliver some daily necessities to the volunteer teachers. I'm using this as an excuse to come here first."
Yu Lele looked at him and smiled, but didn't say anything.
Lian Haiping scratched his head and continued, "Xu Yin took leave to come. She said she wanted to see you, and that you would be happier to see her than to see me, so she insisted on coming to make you happy."
Yu Lele remained silent.
Lian Haiping said helplessly, "Don't stay silent! Do you really dislike me that much?"
Yu Lele remained silent, only smiling slightly at him.
Lian Haiping was finally on the verge of collapse and said helplessly, "Say something! I came all this way not to see you standing there in a daze."
Yu Lele finally burst out laughing. Lian Haiping, looking at her wide smile, felt a chill: "Yu Lele, what's wrong with you?"
"I heard you have a girlfriend? You're also teaching in a rural area? Do I know her?" Yu Lele stared at Lian Haiping, who was startled, then immediately gritted his teeth: "That brat Xu Yin, just you wait!"
“So you’re the most boring person, you forget your friends when you’re in love,” Yu Lele pouted. “You don’t care about your old friends when you’re in love, right? I went back home for winter vacation twice and summer vacation twice in the past two years. Although neither was long, it wasn’t short either. As a result, you went on a business trip once, went to training once, and came to visit me twice—I only saw you three times in total, and each time it was no more than 30 minutes.”
Yu Lele sneered, "Lian Haiping, you're so busy, why are you wasting my time here?"
Lian Haiping's face turned green, and he almost choked on his breath. He stood awkwardly opposite Yu Lele, speechless. Seeing his expression, Yu Lele felt relieved and laughed, "Alright, alright, I know you're really busy, so I won't scold you. As long as you answer my questions seriously, I'll forgive you."
Her expression was so cunning that Lian Haiping felt a chill run down his spine as he looked at her, but then he heard her voice was very calm: "Two years ago at this time, someone asked the Municipal Youth League Committee to bring me a lot of snacks and daily necessities. I don't know who he is."
Lian Haiping paused, looking into Yu Lele's eyes, unsure of what to say.
"Later, someone asked someone to bring me many books, as well as mosquito repellent in the summer and hand cream in the winter. I don't know who it was," Yu Lele continued.
Lian Haiping stared blankly at Yu Lele, this time falling silent.
"Later on, there were also cute flashlights, the latest issue of 'China Youth' magazine, a caterpillar pillow, a beautiful thermos, and the latest edition of the 'Modern Chinese Dictionary,' but I still didn't know who he was."
"Then came the new year's calendar, erythromycin ointment, and antacids for quick pain relief. This person always knew what I needed, and many times, these things were already delivered to me just as I was thinking about them."
"Even later, a publishing house contacted me, saying that someone had sent them a newspaper that published my diary. They had read it, thought it was very good, and wanted to publish it as a book. But this person still hasn't told me why he did all this for me."
She looked up at him: "Lian Haiping, do you know who this person really is?"
Looking into the girl's bright eyes, Lian Haiping suddenly felt speechless.
They stood face to face, looking into each other's eyes, with a quiet air gently flowing around them.
Looking at the turbulent emotions in Lian Haiping's eyes, Yu Lele said softly, "Actually, I'm not stupid. I like Nivea hand cream, Longrich mosquito repellent, Shanghaojia puffed snacks, and Xizhilang jelly... Not everyone knows that."
She looked at him: "But you never tell me, not even when you text or call. I just don't understand, Lian Haiping, are you always so selfless and never ask for anything in return?"
She took another step closer, so close that she could see the emotions he was deliberately suppressing in his eyes. Her eyes gradually welled up with tears: "Actually, I know that the things you do—texting me, encouraging me when I couldn't go on, calling me, chatting with me when I couldn't sleep because of mosquito bites—aren't things every friend does. So, I understand even less, Lian Haiping, how can you be so calm?"
Lian Haiping looked at her with some surprise. She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her mind, then looked up and glared at him fiercely, asking, "Lian Haiping, tell me honestly, do you still like me now?"
But to Yu Lele's surprise, Lian Haiping was not intimidated by her at all. Instead, he answered decisively, resolutely, and crisply, "Yes!"
Yu Lele was a little startled by the speed of the reply.
She stared wide-eyed, took a step back, and stared intently at Lian Haiping.
Lian Haiping sighed and lowered his head: "Anything else you want to ask? Come on, ask away."
Yu Lele's smile gradually faded, and the mist she tried so hard to suppress rose again, quietly obscuring her eyes: "Originally, I planned to sign another three-year contract. I thought that even if I were a volunteer teacher for life, as long as I felt I had value, that would be enough. But the other day, when I was sitting here looking at the calendar, I realized that if what someone told me three years ago was true, then this year would be the seventh year they've been waiting for me. If they keep waiting, the War of Resistance against Japan will be over, and people will grow old."