But right now, the last thing I want to hear from A-Lian is talk to me. I'm really afraid she'll tell me her love story with Yin Tianyu again, and I won't be able to offer her a genuine smile. I can't bear to be so insincere in the face of this friendship we once shared through thick and thin.
"Your relationship with Mr. Yin must be more than just meeting at the resort, right?" Ah Lian's eyes shone brightly under the fluorescent lights.
I never expected Ah Lian to say that first thing. I was speechless, unable to utter a sound for a long time. How could I possibly begin?
"Am I right?" It seems that Ah Lian is determined to get to the bottom of things tonight.
"How did you figure that out?" I was unwilling to accept it.
“I could tell the moment you looked at him. You can’t hide anything from me.” Ah Lian was much more astute than I had imagined.
"It's over." These three words, which had been swirling in my mind all night, were finally uttered by myself. Each word was so heavy that I found it difficult to speak, my mouth tasted metallic, and my teeth were bleeding. I had known for a long time that I had fallen in love with him without realizing it, but I only realized how much I loved him when I lost him.
As if my answer was exactly what Ah Lian expected, she remained sitting there quietly, not even a hair on her head swaying slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm the one who should be apologizing. Actually, when I said I'd see you off, I did it on purpose. I knew that way you would definitely leave alone. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I came to apologize to you." Ah Lian's face turned pale, but she still smiled slightly: "Even I showed my 'smallness beneath the fur coat' in the face of desire."
Ah Lian's words surprised me so much that I didn't know how to react. Compared to Ah Lian's openness, I felt even more pathetic. But I also knew that I could never again hold the phone and tell Ah Lian my stories of myself and others with such a blissful expression.
"I just want to know if you're still together?" I only just witnessed Ah Lian's stubbornness today.
"Didn't I say it's all in the past?" I raised my hands in surrender.
"But I remember you said you loved him. However, back then neither of us knew that your 'him' was my 'him,' and both 'hims' were him." Anyone with a modicum of mental sane would go crazy upon hearing this.
"That was just me making things up."
"You said you were going to stick with it this time."
"That was because I was blinded by greed."
"You said you were sure about him."
"That was due to my youthful ignorance."
"You said this relationship is the last one in your life."
"That was because I was rambling."
Damn, my Chinese teacher really deserves a lifetime achievement award.
Ah Lian let out a soft sigh of relief. "Then I'm leaving."
Just before leaving, A-Lian turned back and asked me, "Li Hao, we're still best friends, aren't we?"
"Of course, of course." I instinctively raised my voice, but my eyes subconsciously looked away.
"Yes, we're best friends." A-Lian suddenly hugged me tightly, then turned and left. I stood there dumbfounded at the door, next to a huge, silly-looking salted fish, tears welling in my eyes. At that moment, Yin Tianyu seemed so far away from me.
I don't know how others react to heartbreak, but my typical post-breakup-induced insomnia relapsed from that day on. Work was alright, but as soon as I left the office, time felt like a dark, bottomless monster lunging at me, terrifying and despairing. Unable to sleep at night, I'd stay up all night online, sitting in front of the computer, pale and blue, either chatting frantically with men and women whose names I didn't even know, or playing games and reading novels. For meals, I'd eat a packet of instant noodles, and even going to the bathroom was a strict plan with a set number of steps—not a single step more, not a single step less; if the number of steps was wrong, I'd start over—this was how I whiled away the long nights. Every day was the same: work, home, online, insomnia. Strangely, I didn't gain weight, but my face quickly became covered in shiny pimples. And so I continued on, day after day, my head sinking deeper into the sand.
After failing to get an appointment with me by phone seven times, Xia Mengmeng stormed into my office one afternoon, looking furious. But when she saw me, she seemed startled: "Good heavens! Oh my god, where are your eyes?"
"Those dark circles under my eyes are my eyes," I said irritably. It seemed like she came up here specifically to annoy me.
"Sorry, but your face is covered in pimples, I can't even find your facial features."
"I was in my adolescence."
Suddenly my phone rang, and I nervously grabbed it—the phone that's always within my finger's reach: "Hello, hello..."
"It's my phone ringing," Xia Mengmeng said, giving me a strange look as she picked up her phone.
I put down the phone a little awkwardly.
Fearing that Xia Mengmeng would continue to ask me any questions I didn't want to answer after the call, I quietly stood up and tried to slip away.
To my surprise, she had no intention of answering the call. She glanced at the screen, hung up, and stopped me, asking, "Where are you going?"
"The toilet!" I answered confidently, then turned and slipped out of the office, only to find Xia Mengmeng relentlessly following me.
What are you doing?
"I'm going to the toilet too."
I slunk back to the office, and as expected, Xia Mengmeng launched into a devastating interrogation of me. But I dodged and weaved, refusing to engage.
"Li Hao, have you ever heard of the saying that five hundred glances in a past life are exchanged for a single brush in this life? Do you think our friendship is easy to come by? Tell me, is there anything you should be hiding from me because of this fate?"
"According to you, it seems like we didn't do anything in our past lives except turn back!"
Xia Mengmeng was so angry she was about to lose her temper. Before leaving, she said fiercely, "I came here today to tell you something, but since you're so disloyal, I've decided to keep it to myself and not tell you!"
I smiled and watched her leave as she walked away, and then I breathed a sigh of relief.
It was past 11 p.m., and as usual, I was online chatting with seventeen people at the same time, my fingers flying across the keyboard. Suddenly, QQ displayed a system message. I took a break from my busy schedule and double-clicked it. It was a friend request, and the additional information field read: "I am WILLSON".
My right hand froze on the mouse, and I experienced a temporary lack of blood flow to my brain. The speaker icon flashed again, and this time I clicked "agree" without thinking.
The words "Hello!" popped up and startled me.
"Hello," I want to bow deeply to the man who invented the internet. I can't think of anywhere else but here where I could so calmly and emotionally say those two words to the man who so changed the course of my life.
"how is your day?"
"Hmm"
"I got your QQ number from Xia Mengmeng." Willson's admirable integrity remains his style, and this is probably the incident that almost drove Xia Mengmeng crazy.
How are you and your child in May?