Le roi des pilleurs de tombes - Chapitre 22
"I heard that Ah Liu and Lynx also got their heads shaved a couple of days ago. Lynx was in so much pain that he suddenly moved, which caused the razor to cut even deeper and he even bled!"
The tattooed burly man started talking non-stop: "Today, according to the schedule, it was Bamboo Pole's turn to go to the barbershop, and he was so scared that he even tried to pretend to be sick and skip it!" "Is Xiao Fen really in such a bad mood?" Brother Tai wondered.
"She didn't say anything, and I didn't dare to ask."
"That's so strange."
"We're all guessing..." the tattooed burly man stammered, "Did you and Sister Xiaofen have a fight, boss?"
We didn't argue, but we haven't seen each other for over ten days.
Another week has passed.
In a brothel jointly invested by three gangs, Brother Tai, who had just finished, sat in the large pool with his eyes closed, resting.
The pool was filled with more than a dozen grotesque figures, all of whom were bald and covered in wounds.
"By the way, boss, in two or three days, Old Quan will be asking you to negotiate the business of Old Wang's skinning shop. Should we bring the trolls along?" The tall, thin, bald man helped Brother Tai wipe his back with a towel.
"Bring them, it makes you look more imposing. The thought of them bringing them while we don't, what's the point of even talking?" Brother Tai sounded incredibly impatient... "But arguing is one thing, flipping tables is another, but nobody should actually escalate this. We've been hanging out together for so long, don't treat me like some kind of big brother who can just tell you guys to die!"
"Yes, Big Brother!" a dozen bald men replied in unison.
They admire this aspect of Brother Tai: avoiding war if possible, and not caring about taking a loss sometimes. The important thing is that everyone makes money and has fun together, which builds up vitality, and the shops in the territory naturally prosper.
That's why, once the mild-mannered Tai decides to fight, his underlings and their underlings won't utter a single word of nonsense. You see, once the taciturn lion opens his mouth, there's always a reason behind his ruthless ambition.
"Brother Tai, where should we meet?" A scarred, bald man poured hot water on Brother Tai.
"What did that bastard Quan say?" Tai Ge twisted his neck.
“He said he was looking at you.” The scarred bald man scooped up some water again.
“Since we’re talking about skinning shop business, let’s meet at a shop near Old Wang’s skinning shop.” Tai made the decision quickly without thinking. “Let’s find a shop to sit down, have some food and drinks, and I’ll leave it to you.”
"yes."
The women have all had their fun, and now the business is almost done.
The topic has finally turned to the nightmare that's been haunting everyone lately...
"Boss," the tattooed, muscular bald man mustered his courage, "we've discussed this in private for a long time."
"Is it about Baldy?" Brother Tai sighed.
A dozen or so naked bald heads nodded in unison, creating a spectacular scene.
Tai sighed again.
He really disliked and wasn't used to talking about Xiao Fen with his underlings; it was embarrassing. But these underlings' shaved heads were all because of him, and if he didn't listen to what they had to say, he, as the boss, had no right to continue ordering them to work at the barbershop.
“Since you two didn’t argue, then Sister Xiaofen must be trying to upset you.” The short, bald man was always the strategist in the gang.
"Make me angry?" Brother Tai waved his hand, "Absolutely not."
"You've known each other for almost two years now. Boss, you like Sister Xiaofen, how could Sister Xiaofen not know?"
"..."
Yes, with so many underlings rushing in one after another, like the Normandy landings, how could Sister Xiao Fen, who was always smiling and waving scissors, not know this?
“If Sister Xiaofen wants to reject the boss’s love, she will definitely refuse to cut our heads, right?” The fat bald man raised his hand, and all the bald men said yes in unison.
"Sister Xiaofen keeps cutting her hair, she's been hinting at you, Boss!" It was someone who was bald.
"The key point is that Sister Xiaofen doesn't have a boyfriend; we've already investigated that." said the short, bald man.
"Even if Sister Xiaofen had a boyfriend before, the grass on the ground is taller than a person now. Don't you all agree?" The bald, burly man gave the middle finger to thin air.
"And we can guarantee that if anyone in this area goes crazy and tries to seduce our Sister Xiaofen, they'll be tied to a breakwater and thrown into the sea that very night. So the only person Sister Xiaofen can like is you, our boss!" The tall, thin bald man became more and more excited as he spoke, his entire bald head trembling.
"So Sister Xiaofen must like the boss!" A dozen bald men shouted in unison.
Tai was so embarrassed that he wanted to chop these little bastards up in one go... The idiotic logic coming out of their mouths was indeed that of scoundrels.
A cow is still a cow even if you take it to Beijing; a hooligan is still a hooligan even if he shaves his head.
The conclusion is that after dragging it out for so long, Sister Xiaofen finally lost her patience.
Forced by female modesty, Sister Xiaofen couldn't confess her feelings to Brother Tai directly. So, she could only indirectly let him know her anger at not being able to find true love. Sister Xiaofen shaved the heads of all the gangsters who came to her door, and in the most brutal way—the ultimate hard shave and shave, completely ignoring the shape of their heads!
Why? It's to let Tai-ge know that she's nearing her limit through her younger brother's suffering.
It was a love that turned from love to hate, and from hate to love.
"You could say it's the most powerful kind of love," the short, bald man solemnly made up.
"Although everyone says that ambiguity is the most beautiful and memorable part of a relationship, boss, things can change in the long run!" The bald, tattooed, muscular man who had read over thirty romance novels at the rental bookstore was probably the most knowledgeable about love in the entire gang: "It's been so long, and you still haven't confessed. You're practically toying with Sister Xiaofen!"
"Yeah! No wonder Sister Xiaofen took her anger out on us!" The tall, thin, bald man scratched his head.
"Our heads are nothing, but we absolutely cannot pretend we don't understand Sister Xiaofen's hints!" Scarface Bald Man shouted.
"If you don't take action soon, boss... forgive me for saying this, but you're... not very manly!" (Someone else said, "You've known each other for almost two years, boss, you like Sister Xiaofen, how could Sister Xiaofen not know?")
"..."
Yes, with so many underlings rushing in one after another, like the Normandy landings, how could Sister Xiao Fen, who was always smiling and waving scissors, not know this?
“If Sister Xiaofen wants to reject the boss’s love, she will definitely refuse to cut our heads, right?” The fat bald man raised his hand, and all the bald men said yes in unison.
"Sister Xiaofen keeps cutting her hair, she's been hinting at you, Boss!" It was someone who was bald.
"The key point is that Sister Xiaofen doesn't have a boyfriend; we've already investigated that." said the short, bald man.
"Even if Sister Xiaofen had a boyfriend before, the grass on the ground is taller than a person now. Don't you all agree?" The bald, burly man gave the middle finger to thin air.
"And we can guarantee that if anyone in this area goes crazy and tries to seduce our Sister Xiaofen, they'll be tied to a breakwater and thrown into the sea that very night. So the only person Sister Xiaofen can like is you, our boss!" The tall, thin bald man became more and more excited as he spoke, his entire bald head trembling.
"So Sister Xiaofen must like the boss!" A dozen bald men shouted in unison.
Tai was so embarrassed that he wanted to chop these little bastards up in one go... The idiotic logic coming out of their mouths was indeed that of scoundrels.
A cow is still a cow even if you take it to Beijing; a hooligan is still a hooligan even if he shaves his head.
The conclusion is that after dragging it out for so long, Sister Xiaofen finally lost her patience.
Forced by female modesty, Sister Xiaofen couldn't confess her feelings to Brother Tai directly. So, she could only indirectly let him know her anger at not being able to find true love. Sister Xiaofen shaved the heads of all the gangsters who came to her door, and in the most brutal way—the ultimate hard shave and shave, completely ignoring the shape of their heads!
Why? It's to let Tai-ge know that she's nearing her limit through her younger brother's suffering.
It was a love that turned from love to hate, and from hate to love.
"You could say it's the most powerful kind of love," the short, bald man solemnly made up.
"Although everyone says that ambiguity is the most beautiful and memorable part of a relationship, boss, things can change in the long run!" The bald, tattooed, muscular man who had read over thirty romance novels at the rental bookstore was probably the most knowledgeable about love in the entire gang: "It's been so long, and you still haven't confessed. You're practically toying with Sister Xiaofen!"
"Yeah! No wonder Sister Xiaofen took her anger out on us!" The tall, thin, bald man scratched his head.
"Our heads are nothing, but we absolutely cannot pretend we don't understand Sister Xiaofen's hints!" Scarface Bald Man shouted.
"If you don't take action soon, boss... forgive me for saying this, but you're... not a real man!" It was unclear which bald man uttered such a provocative statement, but it was echoed by many others.
"Boss! It was wrong of you to let Sister Xiaofen down!"
"We can tolerate being bald, but we cannot tolerate it for Sister Xiaofen's happiness!"
"Boss, you've disappointed me so much!"
"We've prevented Sister Xiaofen from having a normal boyfriend, but you, Boss, are enjoying yourself with other women every day. Is that right?!"
If we don't do something to shut these guys up, who knows how many more outrageous things we'll hear? Tai punched the steaming water and yelled, "Shut up! Say something meaningful!"
Water splashed everywhere.
Then came the time for a dazzling array of suggestions.
Everyone has experience picking up girls, especially these gangsters who all consider themselves Casanovas. And everyone has had several chats with Xiaofen while getting their hair cut, so they're definitely not just rambling on about things they don't know. So the discussion got very heated, making Brother Tai even more embarrassed.
After summarizing everyone's opinions, the conclusion is very simple:
Sister Xiaofen loves watching the Chinese Professional Baseball League (CPBL), but she has never watched a live CPBL game. Why don't Brother Tai buy the best seats and take Sister Xiaofen to the Municipal Baseball Stadium to watch the Times Eagles play? Since it's something Sister Xiaofen enjoys, it will be very natural for them to be together. Brother Tai just needs to cheer loudly with Sister Xiaofen.
After watching the professional baseball game, we went to a restaurant for dinner together.
The restaurant doesn't need to be too fancy, but it must be close to a motel.
“We’ve never eaten together before, it would be awkward,” Tai said sternly.
"That's easy." The short, bald man had already thought it through.
On the other hand, sending a few henchmen at gunpoint to abduct the Times Hawks' star player right after the baseball game and take him to a restaurant to chat and eat with Sister Xiaofen would definitely be a huge surprise. Seeing her idolized hero appear before her, Sister Xiaofen would be too busy smiling to feel awkward.
Of course, during the process of escorting the players, they should be given a further education and ordered to spontaneously toast Brother Tai during the meal, so that Brother Tai would have a lot of face in front of Sister Xiao Fen and enhance his masculine charm.
After a satisfying meal, it's time for the main event, but you absolutely shouldn't head straight to a motel for the first date; that would be too abrupt.
"It was indeed too abrupt." Tai's face turned red, and he had no choice but to use both hands to splash hot water on his face.
"Considering Sister Xiaofen's modesty, it's always good to have a little interlude before checking into the hotel," the tattooed, burly, bald man said confidently.
As they leave the restaurant, a group of thugs from the Hai Shan gang suddenly appear, playing the role of scoundrels who harass Xiao Fen. Tai's task is simple: to teach these scoundrels a lesson and protect the terrified Xiao Fen.
The Hai Shan Gang and Brother Tai's gang have always been on good terms. The gangsters usually get bored with fighting and killing, so they can occasionally put on a show to change things up and also ask Brother Tai for a favor. The Hai Shan Gang, being the meddlesome ones, would probably be very happy to do so.
Of course, realism is key to effectiveness. The thugs from the Hai Shan gang wouldn't miss a chance to sneak a beating on Tai, and he'd inevitably take a few rough kicks. Getting injured might even make Tai more manly.
After defeating the little villain, the big villain, Brother Tai, can put his arm around Sister Xiao Fen and say: "I see you're terrified. Why don't we find a place for you to rest, take a bath, watch some TV to calm your nerves, and then go back?"
"Sister Xiaofen has probably never had a boyfriend, so you must be gentle, boss."
"A girl's first time is very important, boss, you absolutely can't just go at it like you normally do..."
"Boss, I read in a book that you should never go to sleep right after you've had sex with a woman; you should chat with her first!"
"Motels don't always provide condoms, boss, you'd better bring your own!"
"Absolutely not! Bringing condoms beforehand would expose that the boss planned this! Taking a risk is okay!"
"Duma won the bid on his first try... Oh well! Even if he won, it's still a good thing!"
You say one thing, he offers another. Everyone seems to be earnestly advising and giving earnest advice.
Surrounded by a group of bald core members, Tai finally exploded in anger: "Is this ever going to end?! Shut up! All of you, shut up!"
He forcefully ended the meeting about the "Dating Battle," and Tai's ears turned red all the way down to his neck.
Each of the bald men who had been scolded looked at Brother Tai with satisfaction, their expressions as if they were sizing up their beloved child, all smiles, as if it had all been worth it...