Un cœur pur dans un pot de jade

Chapitre 30

I was furious this time. If the savage hadn't been standing behind me watching me, I would have definitely smashed the bowl on the spot and then punched the door.

When we got back to the house, I realized that my jealousy had been unfounded, but I'm petty, you know. I'm the typical petty woman who can't stand seeing her man with a woman who's prettier than me.

Sitting at the table, I looked at my watch and counted down. In a few tens of seconds, the savages should be here, right?

But as it turns out, ten seconds is not enough at all; surely three minutes should be enough?

However, three minutes passed, and all that could be heard outside the door was the meowing of stray cats.

"I'll give you ten more minutes"—I laughed at myself inwardly. This kind of ridiculous self-comforting scene isn't even shown on TV anymore, yet I was waiting minute by minute... Half an hour later, I finally realized what I was doing, and I collapsed onto the table, feeling utterly weak.

I wasn't in a hurry to patronize a savage prostitute; I thought I was calm enough and fully understood and applied the truth that "men can only be free-range, not kept in captivity." But that night, all my composure crumbled.

Actually, my discomfort wasn't entirely because of Xiao Chenchen, but because Yeren was uncomfortable. However, I didn't understand him and didn't know what was bothering him.

Later, I fell asleep on the table. When the doorbell rang again, I rubbed my eyes and looked at my watch. It was three in the morning.

The wild man entered the house at three in the morning. He glanced at me, said nothing, went to the closet to change his clothes, and then went back to the bedside. He sat down on the bed and sat quietly, looking at something.

I nodded, propped myself up on the table, and stood up. What kind of woman would do this—coming home late, not explaining, and after a fight, still racking her brains to coax me back? Would I even want to live with her?!

However, thinking is one thing, doing is another. I grabbed a band-aid from the table and walked to the bedside. Without saying a word, I stood in front of him and ripped off three band-aids on his face with a "snap." Then I bent down and carefully replaced them with new ones.

That night, I didn't brush my teeth, wash my face, turn off the lights, or even change my clothes. I kicked off my shoes, climbed into bed, and closed my eyes. After all that, the savage sat silently on the edge of the bed and didn't even turn around.

Needless to say, I couldn't possibly fall asleep. I tossed and turned in bed until he finally pulled me up.

The savage's body was cold. He pressed his face against mine and wrote on my leg with his finger: "I'm sorry..."

I frowned, and he hugged me.

After waiting for him for a while, she opened her mouth several times but didn't know what to say, so she sighed loudly to get his attention.

This trick worked. The savage finally took my hand and slowly wrote: Why don't you believe me... No matter what, I will protect you.

I froze. "Who said I don't believe you?" I was about to retort when I turned around and saw the savage suddenly smile without warning, a weak smile. At the same moment, he wrote on my hand: "In times of danger, if you don't run to me, I will..."

He raised his finger and stopped writing.

"Is it really because of what happened this afternoon?" I asked tentatively. "Is it because when I was being chased this afternoon, the first person I thought of was Yan Chaohong, not you?!"

"No! Savage..." I grabbed his hand and turned his face towards me. "You've got it wrong. He wasn't the first person I thought of. I was the first person I thought of to keep you in danger, so I asked him to come and save me. Would I ever hurt you? Are you crazy?!"

The savage stared at me. I thought my explanation was sufficient, and I was even ready to laugh. He should be relieved. I had tried my best for him, and my heart was completely devoted to him. But he turned his head away, his face pale and his lips purplish-white. He moved slightly and silently uttered three words.

Those three words were: Why?

"What do you mean, 'why'?!" I grabbed him. "If you keep talking like this without any explanation, I'm going to get angry!! I'm never talking to you again!! I really am not talking to you?!"

The savage shook his head, took my hand, and wrote: "Didn't you ever think of relying on me? You don't believe me—"

“No!” I interrupted him. “It’s not that I don’t believe you can’t protect me—it’s that I’m afraid you’ll get hurt. I worry about you just as much! I know you’re angry that I didn’t rely on you in this crucial moment, but no matter what happens, I don’t want anything to happen to you. Do you understand? Only when you’re safe and sound can I be safe and sound—”

Before I could finish the last syllable of that sentence, the savage suddenly leaned forward and kissed my lips.

My mind went blank, but he didn't go any deeper. It was just a dry, completely still kiss, yet it shattered my world. The words I'd blurted out just moments before still echoed in my ears. Those words sounded so familiar; they weren't my own words, but something someone had once told me: "No matter where you are, you can't be hurt... Sun Qingshan, only if you're okay will I be okay..."

In an instant, it dawned on me that the wild man wasn't angry with me or about what happened that afternoon. What truly bothered him wasn't my well-intentioned but inconsiderate actions, but rather—

He slowly stepped back, his pupils round and gentle, looking at me from less than ten centimeters away.

“We,” he mouthed, “before…”

I stretched out my arms and hugged him tightly. "It doesn't matter if you don't remember before. Let's make a promise from now on. From now on, you will be my number one scapegoat in life-or-death situations. No matter how dangerous or difficult it is, I will not look for anyone else. I have chosen you. If we are going to die, we will die together in each other's arms. But I know that you are the most capable of anything, so no matter what, you must protect me!"

I let go of him, leaned over, and gave him a quick kiss.

"You have to protect me well!" she said to him with a smile.

Debts must be repaid

Beside the savage, I had a dream.

In my dream, he spoke to me in a strange voice: You don't remember any of it...

I opened my eyes abruptly. The sky was dark. The savage was still sitting on the edge of the bed, his posture unchanged. He sat there in a daze, motionless.

I know my dream was short, maybe only a few minutes, but the wild man was lying flat when he fell asleep. He couldn't sleep and sat up, and that's when I woke up.

It was as if I opened my eyes and there was no sound, but he already sensed it and turned his head.

"Look how in sync we are!" I asked him with a smile, my voice a little hoarse.

He raised the corners of his lips and said, "Go to sleep."

"I can't sleep." I got out of bed. "Hug me." When he opened his arms, I snuggled into his embrace.

"Savage, you seem to have something on your mind." Leaning against his muscular body, I asked this question, seemingly casually.

The savage wrote on my hand: "You know the answer, so you ask."

I glanced up and said, "How did you end up like Yan Chaohong, learning bad habits from her? You can't even speak properly anymore."

So he brushed my fingers aside and rewrote: Yes, I have something on my mind.

"Tell me about it," I said casually.

My palms felt itchy, and someone wrote in detail: You wouldn't want to know.

"You're keeping me in suspense!" I pretended to grab the savage by the neck.

He then pulled my hand down and wrote: It will be alright soon.

"What do you mean it'll be fine soon?" I frowned. "Did you remember something, or—"

I looked up, and the savage just happened to be looking down, shaking his head at me.

"Never mind..." The two of them had just gotten a little better, and I didn't want to pressure him anymore.

After all, even wild men are still human beings. Humans have instincts, and protecting their instincts is the first step in a wild man's transformation into a human being.

I've already guessed most of the reason he's in a bad mood: it's because I've forgotten so many important memories from the past. We've talked about who protects whom before, and I'm almost certain that the conversation at 3 a.m. was a replay of a past experience. That's why Ye Ren is so helpless, because I've even forgotten our agreement.

We had clearly agreed that I would trust him and not put myself in danger, because only if I was safe could he be at ease.

The "Absolutely No Regulations" clearly state this. How could I be so foolish? I only knew he was my beloved, but I didn't know he also cherished me.

“Wild man…” I stroked his hair, “You may have something on your mind, but having something on your mind doesn’t mean you can serve other women until the middle of the night, even wiping their sweat with a handkerchief, and I saw it, and you don’t even explain it to me—” I got angrier and angrier as I spoke, and I felt something was wrong, the air was thick with sourness.

Therefore, the savage had no choice but to smile bitterly and write to me: After all, she saved you.

"Saving me is my business!" I pouted. "Yan Chaohong saved me, shouldn't I repay her with my body?!"

The savage froze, not reacting for a long time. When he finally did react, he wrote: "Can I not repay you with my body?"

I was furious and sat up abruptly to face the savage. As expected, he wasn't joking; he was serious.

"You savage!" I stretched out my index finger to poke his head, then stretched out both hands to strangle his neck, and left one hand to pull his ear, but finally gave up.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?!" I exclaimed angrily. "If you keep doing this, I'm packing my things and running away tomorrow!"

The savage was startled, then grabbed my hand and slowly mouthed, "Don't, run away."

"Run!" I pulled my hand away. "I'll run with whoever saves me!"

The savage simply pulled me to write: If you run, I will chase you.

I pouted, "Then I'll run faster."

He immediately wrote: I can fly.

I glared at him, "Then I'll hide so you can't find me!"

He wrote: I'm going to buy a dog.

"Why buy a dog?" I didn't understand.

He smiled without batting an eye and wrote: "Take off the dog leash and put it on you."

"You damn savage!" I yelled, my eyes blazing. "Are you doing this on purpose? Are you kidding me?!"

The savage smiled faintly, somewhat helplessly. After laughing, he wrote seriously: I'm sorry, are you still angry?

"Hmm," I hummed, "It depends on which one you're pointing to. I'm not angry if you flirt with the beautiful Xiao Chenchen, but I'm very angry if you come home late."

He then lowered his head and wrote again: "The divine doctor's energy is limited, and I don't want to owe anyone anything."

"You've stopped distinguishing between 'you' and 'me' now?" I chuckled to myself. "I owe Xiao Chenchen, so according to you, we're now one, inseparable?!"

Upon hearing this, the savage suddenly looked up, glanced at me, and then... his fingers, which were still not able to extend freely, reached out towards me.

Talking behind someone's back...

I walked briskly toward the small restaurant, thinking to myself, "This time, the savage is taking it a little too seriously."

What has he ever truly taken seriously? Except me.

So, the reason I was upset a moment ago wasn't because he changed the plan at the last minute, but because I sensed with my super-powerful female radar that something he was going to do had gradually grown in his mind and was threatening my unique position.

Although I have reason to believe that no one, thing, or event can replace my position for at least the next twenty years, the fact that the balance of power has shifted so drastically makes me feel uneasy.

Upon entering the restaurant, I immediately spotted Yan Chaohong huddled in a corner, watching someone from another corner not far away. Yan Chaohong was also startled when she saw me, but quickly waved her hand at me, telling me not to go in at this time.

I ignored him and strode inside, sitting down directly at the fortune-telling table. "Greetings, young lady!" I tossed my hair and adjusted my collar. "Won't you offer me a drink, sir?"

"Pfft—!" A mouthful of water spurted out not far from Yan Chaohong.

The fortune teller stared at me blankly, half-swallowing a piece of meat.

"I just divorced my husband," I said. "But it's okay, I don't feel anything. We're both young, and getting married too early often leads to this outcome. I considered that too. The man wasn't bad, but I felt he didn't trust me, he didn't believe I could understand him. He kept everything bottled up inside, thinking he was so cool. I pretended to be clueless, and he pretended to be clueless too. Sometimes I felt tired for him. That's how estrangement is created. Even though he was very good to me, too good is beyond what you understand. People become lazy. If you're always indulging in sweet words, you won't see the problems ahead. I was afraid he would wear down all my sense of crisis, and by then, it would be too late to divorce him, both physically and mentally. So, although the separation is painful and sad, I also know that I don't understand him well enough. The so-called understanding and companionship is just an illusion. I don't know his family background, upbringing, or life experiences, so it's hard for me to objectively analyze and evaluate him. Most importantly, I can't force him to understand me. You men are like that, always thinking women like to nitpick over trivial matters." It's true that misunderstandings are important, but preventing problems before they escalate is never a trivial matter. More often than not, irreparable rifts begin to widen from those seemingly insignificant things you deliberately ignore. Even if I see a hole and want to mend it, I have to consider your perspective and feelings. Even playing dumb requires skill. Not everything you perceive as unreasonable is caused by menstruation. Being a woman is tiring; on one hand, you have to silently bear the pressure and overthink, and on the other hand, you men have to play along with your "thinking of you" rhetoric and deceive yourselves. Why can't we be more honest? Problems between two people need to be solved together. Otherwise, if everyone silently exerts effort in different directions, divorce is inevitable. It's true that I have a strong mental fortitude, but some people with fragile hearts might not be able to withstand the blow and become despondent, harming themselves and others. Most importantly, heartbreak and loss are never a solitary experience. Who hasn't given unconditionally in the past? It's the loss that's hardest to accept, don't you understand?!

"I...I understand..."

The fortune teller's piece of meat fell onto the table with a "thud." "But, young lady..." he looked at me with a bewildered expression, "May I ask you a question?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

Why are you telling me all this?

"What?"

"From the moment you entered the restaurant and sat down in front of me, you've been talking non-stop. Why? I just want to know the reason."

"Oh..." I stepped back and leaned against the back of the chair.

Seeing my hesitation, the fortune teller glanced outside the restaurant, then suddenly stood up. "Excuse me," he hurriedly said, "I have urgent business to attend to, I'm truly sorry..." He then left the money and prepared to leave.

"Man!" I raised my voice.