Un cœur pur dans un pot de jade

Chapitre 38

His expression changed slightly, but he didn't react much. He only said one thing: I can't lose you.

"It's over?!" I was stunned.

He nodded.

"That's it?!" I exclaimed, bewildered. "What does this mean?"

He lowered his head and wrote it again: I can't lose you.

"I know! I'm asking you why!"

This time, the savage thought there was something wrong with me. He looked at me expressionlessly, as if I was asking some stupid question just to prevent me from remembering it. Since he didn't want me to remember it, how could he possibly answer why he didn't want me to remember it?

"Heavens! Why do I know you so well...!" I exclaimed. "Savage, you have a very strong possessive streak. Who knows what kind of tragedy you might cause in the future."

Yes... He wrote: Perhaps one day, I will kill Yan Chaohong with my own hands.

"Finally telling the truth?" I raised an eyebrow. "Then why did you leave me with him back then? Don't you know I have high needs and you don't provide enough? Without you, I would definitely have cheated on you—hmm!"

The savage stuffed his mouth into my mouth and gripped my hand so hard it almost broke my bones.

He suddenly let go of me, but turned his face to the side and stopped looking at me.

"Jealous again?" I pouted. "Just a little bit of jealousy, and you keep getting jealous over it?"

The savage glanced at me.

"You're still trying to fool me with your pitiful act," I retorted. "Have you ever seen me wash clothes or cook for anyone? I've devoted myself to you to the point of exhaustion, I'm practically your old maid!"

The savage suddenly started laughing, which startled me.

Finally, he took a breath, I exhaled, and he began to calmly explain to me what had happened on that simple day and night...

Hidden Secrets of the Past

The day the savage gave me the Forget-Dust Pill, he said I promised to marry him. If I hadn't said that, perhaps he wouldn't have been so determined.

He had made up his mind: he would treat me well, protect me, and make sure I didn't die before him. He also planned to take me to Tokyo to see how those wealthy officials indulged in materialism.

At that time, he knew he was Shao Yanhe, but he had no idea about the Divine Weeping Blade or who he had killed with it. In fact, every time he regained a little bit of his memory, it was because of me that he was stimulated.

According to his own unreliable account, I disappeared once not long after we met. At that time, he was so worried about me that he was out of his mind. His mind was sometimes clear and sometimes unclear, and he remembered that his name was Shao Yanhe.

As for how I later got separated from him and what kind of Forget-Dust Pill he gave me, those are two completely different things.

That day, the savage gave me medicine, and then immediately had the loyal Song Guan kidnap me.

Actually, Song Guan had previously sought out the savage, but the savage completely ignored him, pretending not to recognize him and even chasing him away. As a result, that dim-witted subordinate misunderstood and insisted on seeing me as some kind of femme fatale, thinking that I was dragging down his great master, who was devoid of fighting spirit and only knew how to indulge in sensual pleasures. No wonder that idiot said I was seducing men all over the streets.

The wild man said that he was really confused that time. He couldn't find me and waited for me at the entrance of the Xiaoxiaoxiao Teahouse for a whole day. In the end, he didn't even know how he was chased out onto the street.

Fortunately, he later came to his senses and realized that my disappearance might be related to Song Guan. Moreover, anyone who has been a martial arts master would have exceptional tracking and search skills. With a direction in mind, he became much more clear-headed.

When the savage found me, I was unconscious in a haystack at the foot of a small hill. The effects of the Forget-Dust Pill had also begun to take hold, so I had actually been unconscious for a long time. Not long after, Song Guan also found his way back. Fearing that he might harm me again, the savage told him to wait for him in a distant grove of trees.

Originally, the savage intended to take me back to the inn first, but while I was unconscious, I kept crying out, "My head hurts so much...", "Ah! It hurts here...", "No, no, Mommy, it hurts...!"

The savage didn't even dare to touch me; he could only stand aside and watch me. It was at that moment that Yan Chaohong happened to see me.

And it also alerted the savages. The savages thought that Song Guan had returned, so they left me behind and used their lightness skills to try to lure him away. However, when they finally got there, they found that Song Guan was still waiting for them obediently in the grove. So they guessed that the person they had lured away was actually Mingming.

Moreover, it was Mingming and Honghong who followed Song Guan's trail to find the Wild Man and me, or it was at that time that they were finally able to confirm, through the number one assassin in the world, that the pretty boy who followed a crazy woman around all day was the martial arts alliance leader who had been missing for four years.

Then the savage turned around, and I disappeared again.

The savage said he laughed for a long time, thinking he must be dreaming. He didn't know such a thing existed. In less than a quarter of an hour, he wondered whether he had been carried off by a wolf or had gotten up and run away on his own. When the savage said this, he was trembling all over, but he was still laughing. When I held his hand, I found that his palms were cold and covered in cold sweat.

After that, he conducted a thorough search, from outside Chengdu to inside the city. It was around that time that Yan Chaohong falsely accused him of standing by and watching "the affair between two people." The wild man jokingly said that if he were truly capable of standing by and watching, he would never have allowed Yan Chaohong to live to the day he started spouting nonsense...

"And then what?" I asked.

The savage's face turned deathly pale.

Actually, I can roughly recount what happened next. I was leaving Xiao Honghong's house when I bumped into a wild man on the street. The wild man ran over and hugged me, and I said to him, "You've mistaken me for someone else."

"It's my fault..." the savage suddenly murmured, without making a sound, yet tossing and turning...

It took me a long time to realize that he had been repeating those four words, and his face showed a blank expression that seemed to indicate he hadn't come to his senses for a long time.

"Don't talk nonsense!" I covered his mouth. "How can you talk about such terrible things?!"

He nodded, but only slightly. When he saw me staring at him, he nodded even more forcefully. Then he pushed me away and ran to the side to vomit.

He hadn't eaten for three days, and he couldn't even vomit water.

My nose stung as I sat on the edge of the bed. After he finished vomiting, he came back, took my hand, and slowly sat down beside me.

"When did you find out that I slept with Yan Chaohong?" I asked.

The savage breathed a sigh of relief and replied: "The first thing I saw was him hugging you."

"You can tell just by looking at it?!"

The savage laughed and touched my face, as if to remind me: You are my woman, how could I not see that?

"Who told you to be so slow!" I complained. "Don't you know I have a big appetite?!"

That one sentence hit him where it hurt again.

I can say that from the time I can remember, the number of times the savage touched me can be counted on one hand, and that was only after I tried everything to seduce, coerce, and pester him. I sensed that he wasn't interested in that kind of thing, and even felt disgusted by it.

Suddenly, I remembered one of Yan Chaohong's many nonsensical remarks: "A pretty face, a beautiful appearance, the secrets of which are known only to those who experience them..."

What does this mean? Even slander doesn't come from nowhere. A savage can become famous overnight in his teens and has connections with the Demonic Sect. Using the rules of the 21st century as a reference, it's easy to guess that, according to the law of fame, the price of fame usually requires an equivalent or even greater sacrifice in exchange.

"Okay," I patted his head, determined to comfort him, "From now on, I'll abstain from sex and celibacy—we'll have a harmonious relationship, and I won't force you to eat meat anymore, okay?"

I almost made the savage die of anger.

I reached out and hugged him, feeling that he could lose all the little bit of weight I had fed him over three months and become completely thin in just three days. He was practically a superhuman who could lose weight rapidly.

However, he still confessed to me that he knew exactly how to win me over, and that he could leave Yan Chaohong far behind even with his eyes closed.

He just didn't expect that my amnesia was only half-complete. This comparison made him confused about what he was doing. Sometimes he would ask himself stupidly: What was the point of doing all that?

It's not just me who knows how precious those little moments we shared are—when I ask him what this rotten piece of paper (which is definitely not neat) is, or when the same scene or the same dialogue appears again, he feels terrified. He feels that he could even tamper with me. Maybe he just wants to keep me tied to his side. Maybe I shouldn't be nice to him at all, because he doesn't deserve it!

The savage said he once asked me what would happen if he were utterly wicked.

His memories were a jumbled mess then, and he had begun to have some strange thoughts. He kept having nightmares, dreaming that he missed home, that he was gone, and that he would never come back...

The wild man said I definitely didn't know that every time I teased him, using both soft and hard tactics, saying things like "If you keep doing this, I don't want you anymore," "I'm leaving," "I'm really leaving," "It's time to distance myself," he knew I was joking, but he still took it seriously. Even when he asked me, "Go home or stay with him, which would you choose?" I didn't answer, and his heart sank.

"Wait!" I interrupted, feeling that this topic seemed familiar. "It seems like you also said something like that, Shao Yeren. I asked you if you would ever be unfaithful, and you said that we'd have to wait until something good happened to see, and that you don't know what the future holds—didn't you say that? Don't deny it, I know you said that. Don't try to fool me by saying I have amnesia; I have an incredibly strong intuition—you absolutely, positively said that!"

The wild man smiled faintly, grasped my hand, and corrected me: It's not that I'm fickle, it's just that if I ever see Sheng Huan again...

"Ah!" I exclaimed, "I knew you still had feelings for her!!"

The savage was so angry that his face turned pale. He was helpless and asked me: "Do you know why I answered that way? Because that assumption is absolutely impossible. I saw her die with my own eyes. Even if she were still alive, no one could replace you!"

"Tch—!" I retorted coolly, "You only say that when you're dead. What if I die someday—"

The savage immediately raised his hand and slapped me very lightly across the face...

A Second Good Night

As dawn broke, the savage held me as we fell asleep.

I was facing the wall, with my back to him.

He pressed his face against the back of my neck, his breath warm, but his face was cold.

I vaguely remember that before all this mess, the Wild Man was a very warm person. No matter how little I was dressed or how cold my hands and feet were, being close to him felt like finding a human heater.

Perhaps because of his serious illness, his hands and feet are colder than mine now, and I need to hold him tightly to give him warmth.

“Savage…” She turned to face him, watching him flutter his eyelashes and open his eyes.

He wasn't asleep; he had dark circles under his eyes, but his eyes were bright.

The look in his eyes seemed to ask: What's wrong?

"I like you," I said, without the slightest bit of embarrassment.

The savage was amused, reached out and put his arm around my shoulder, then patted my back.

"So I want to seduce you."

He paused for a beat, his hand stopped, lifted up, but didn't fall on my back in rhythm.

I met his dazed gaze, pouted, and pecked his thin lips before whispering sweet nothings, "It's not that I want to force you, but if you try a few more times, maybe you'll get interested?"

The savage smiled, the twitch at the corner of his lips barely visible, and then nodded slightly.

But I knew perfectly well that he was only barely managing to lower his eyes.

"Never mind." I know that many things cannot be rushed. Although I hope he is normal, normal inside and out, I don't want him to be like this again, feeling preoccupied when I can't see him.

One should be relaxed and not pretend, but unlike most people, a wild man is not happy when someone he likes sacrifices themselves for him.

My offering myself would only make things more difficult for him.

This kind of man is rare; he really should see a psychologist.

“It’s okay.” I took his hand off my shoulder and held it in my own. “I’m not that thirsty. Even if I were, I still have my own two hands. Don’t feel pressured.”

I regretted it as soon as I said it; wasn't that just putting pressure on him?

I closed my eyes tightly, feeling the savage's breath slowly approaching, and finally his cool lips pressed against my forehead.

Then he sat up, went to the foot of the bed to pick up the Durex I had casually tossed aside. I secretly glanced at him as he unwrapped the packaging, making me feel like a wicked auntie forcing a good woman into prostitution. "I don't want it anymore..." I half-sat up and grabbed his hand. The savage turned around, waved the packaging bag in his hand, and seemed to chuckle, "Super, thin..." he mouthed.

"I was thinking of you..." I murmured, and lay back down.

In truth, the savage knew that I was getting revenge on him. Who told him to appear innocent on the surface but secretly have so many tricks up his sleeve to keep me tightly bound? I learned from him, wanting to have it but holding back, just to see if he would give in or not.

But it's for his own good. Exercise can help people forget their troubles, and he should learn to enjoy its benefits.

Moreover, his technique is excellent; he can make me gasp for breath even with just one finger.

When the wild man moved closer again, it started with a wet kiss. He was very attentive, which I could feel. He wasn't just trying to cooperate with me; he was trying to immerse himself in the moment, because that was what I wanted.

The bedposts creaked and swayed gently, the sweltering heat of summer only amplifying the passionate and intense atmosphere.

The savage's breathing gradually became hot, and sweat clung to my body; I could no longer be a cold-blooded animal.

I then induced him, and he turned me over and over, constantly changing positions, weaving his fingers between mine, his breath rising and falling, until I finally brought him to his knees.