Zhi Gao felt a pang of self-reproach; he had never felt such loyalty and emotion before, and his words were fragmented and disjointed.
"Huaiyu—no matter what happens in the future, you only need to say one word, and I will, even if it means death—"
"Are you sure I'm not going to come back? Am I entrusting my children to you in my time of need?"
It's only been three years, really, it's flown by. Once I'm settled, I'll definitely take care of you two.
Huaiyu, thinking of Yijing, added, "I hope you're both doing well!"
When Zhigao learned that the gold ring wasn't bought, but rather exchanged for Huaiyu's current reputation, he felt it was a priceless treasure. Everyone can buy a gold ring, but not everyone can gain that kind of face, and not everyone has that kind of favor.
My buddies fell silent, as if they had made a life-or-death pact in an instant. In this early spring, all things lay in the half-light, half-dark, half-slow, half-fast, half-sad, half-joyful spring colors, each carrying a burning, endless emotion, each falling into a deep sleep. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Dandan has no tomorrow.
No one in the world noticed that outside this large courtyard, although there was not a breath of wind, the chill led the ghostly girl to stand forlornly beneath the crumbling wall.
Living things breathe, and so do the inanimate; this even, melancholic rhythm is the mysterious passage of time. Heaven and earth envelop her, yet offer no protection, merely placing her in the center of a circle, watching her grow and wither on her own. She can bear it. She only knows that Huaiyu's door is tightly shut, and she stands outside. She doesn't even know why? She stands there in the wind and dew for half the night, her thoughts unspoken.
He took out only a purse and a needle and thread, and, in a ritualistic manner, both devout and sinister, muttered, "Tang Huaiyu! Tang Huaiyu! Tang Huaiyu!"
I remember that day, Grandma Shi, who lived near the Yang family compound, was a real superstitious person. As soon as the child got sleepy and was about to fall asleep, she would immediately put down her needle and chisel and say, "When a person falls asleep, their soul leaves their body. If you touch the needle and thread, you might accidentally sew their soul back in, and they won't be able to get out..."
By the dim moonlight, Dandan called out to Huaiyu's soul three times. "Alright," she thought, "perhaps he is here." Then, focused intently, she sewed the purse tightly, stitch by stitch, each stitch precise and delicate, as if afraid he might slip through her fingers.
Arrogantly, as if she had already obtained it, she used her hands and her strength to embrace that illusory mirage. Although darkness enveloped her, and she suddenly felt insignificant in the world, she held onto her soul. Even after others had gone far away, her soul did not fly away, but remained tucked in her bosom, throbbing gently.
Indeed, this purse seems a bit heavy—perhaps it's all in vain, but at least she's done her best.
If you can't explain it, just do it first and worry about the consequences later.
But what good would it do? He was leaving anyway. My mind was in turmoil, and I only felt a sense of foreboding. Tears streamed down my face, and though I tried to hold them back, they still woke me up.
Seeing that they had been exposed, they quickly hid the purse. Tang Laoda and Huaiyu put on their coats and looked around, only to find Dandan outside the door, much to their surprise. Dandan, however, couldn't care less and only looked at Huaiyu:
"Brother Huaiyu, don't go!"
Big eyes were submerged in water, eyelashes trembling wildly; with all her might, she turned into a weeping sob.
"Don't go!"
I haven't felt this anxious and miserable in over a decade. When my parents were gone, I didn't understand human nature, or even how to grieve. But now, I'm desperate and anxious, and I've cried out my heart and soul, leaving it scattered all over the ground.
Some people in the courtyard were also awakened by the noise. They took out their lamps, recognized the person, and began to discuss among themselves:
"That girl with the pigtails, she's so wild."
"She's always hanging out with young men, so she's bound to get into trouble sooner or later."
"Without parents to discipline you, you can do whatever you want. Why are you crying so much..."
Dandan ignored everything and continued her reckless behavior. The father and son were so frightened that they froze, and hurriedly pulled her into the house, leaving the gossip and disputes in the courtyard to their own devices.
Huaiyu comforted him, "Don't cry, don't cry!" His hands were at a loss for what to do. After thinking it over, he realized that she had never been so intense before. Now she was crying her heart out, clearly threatening him, making it difficult for him to move.
He figured he was old enough to know better and couldn't be so reckless. Besides, he had a prior agreement with Zhigao. He also had an agreement with the troupe leader: "Dandan, listen to me, I've already signed the sales contract for you, to sell for three years. You'll be with Zhigao, and he promised me he'd take good care of you."
"I don't want to, I..."
Huaiyu hardened her heart: "You really have a childish temper, always so whimsical."
Dandan suddenly tilted her head back and stared intently at Huaiyu:
"I'm not a child! I'll go with you!"
As soon as she finished speaking, she was frightened and plunged headlong into this terrifying and uncontrollable situation, forgetting to cry.
elopement?
Isn't this eloping?
Huaiyu was also startled. No, a swift resolution was needed, so she could only manage a faint smile, remaining calm in the face of danger.
"You're really making a scene. What can you do if you come to Shanghai with me? Can you even lift a large piece of meat?"
The situation was settled; no unnecessary complications could arise, lest a moment of weakness cause a complete collapse. He simply returned to his room, retrieved a photograph, and handed it to Dandan.
"Look, this was originally meant to be given to you tomorrow."
Dandan realized that her words were a mistake, and after crying herself to exhaustion, she dared not stoop to embarrassment again. The tide had turned.
Tang Laoda had Huaiyu escort her home. Later, thinking it might be inappropriate given the gossip, he put on his coat and went out with her. Father and son accompanied her on the night walk. Dandan felt even more desperate: it seemed as if neither father nor son wanted her.
I suddenly felt that I had come for nothing, and cried for nothing. I felt I should dig a deep pit and bury myself. Yet, my heart was churning with unspeakable turmoil—I didn't want anyone to know—they all rejected me.
You can leave now!
Whether they went or not, the festival still had to be celebrated. The Miao master and mistress led their group of fellow disciples, who had no parents, relatives, or families, to watch the lanterns on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, the Lantern Festival.
The lanterns have been lit for a long time, since the Han and Tang dynasties. But today, the lanterns are dim.
It wasn't that the lamps were dim, but rather that her heart was shrouded in a layer of dust. She cared little for the winding Yellow River, or the 108 lamps, flickering like a vast ocean, scattered and dazzling, intoxicating and otherworldly. Dandan had no lamp in her heart.
To the north of the overpass are Qianmen, Dashilan, and Liulichang—…the last major festival of the Spring Festival, bustling with activity. After the Lantern Festival, the festive season will come to an end, the spring celebrations will conclude, and everyone will disperse. No, let's hold onto it, let's hold onto it.
The older students, more senior than Dandan, were engrossed in studying how the lotus lanterns and hydrangea lanterns were made. Which one was brighter: the ox horn lantern, the glass lantern, or the bamboo frame gauze lantern? The younger students, less senior than Dandan, lingered at the fireworks shed, looking at the "Golden Plate Sunset," "Ten Flying Gunshots," "Bamboo Flower," "Bombarding Xiangyang City," "Watering Lotus," "Grape Trellise," and so on. The streets and alleys were ablaze with light.
The junior sister shouted: