Yeah?
Su Jinning asked himself. But clearly, that wasn't the case. He had once sat in the front row of the classroom, was once number one on the list, was a top student in the eyes of his classmates, was a good child praised by his teachers, and was once the pride of his parents.
Back then, he always looked forward to the future, imagining what heights he would reach and what kind of life he would lead in high school.
He believes that he will get into a good high school and university, ranking first on the list again, and being the most well-behaved student. If possible, he also wants to study and have a relationship at the same time, working hard together with the person he likes.
But instead of what they hoped for, they were met with a series of unexpected events.
Su Jinning buried her face in her palms, sighed in frustration, and said in a heavy voice, "Actually, I never thought it would turn out like this."
Shen Moyu looked at him and asked softly, "So, what kind of thing do you hope for?"
Su Jinning was silent for a while, then looked up at him as if she had made a big decision: "My parents are both college graduates from Fudan University, and they have always been strict with my education. They told me those big principles that I only vaguely understood from a young age. I was used to being influenced by them, and I just followed my parents' wishes to climb to a position that everyone was satisfied with."
He leaned back in his chair, staring blankly at the clock on the wall: "I gradually came to like that height, and I also liked the scene of my parents praising me when they held up my report card."
Shen Moyu leaned quietly against the bed, listening intently, more absorbed than ever before.
"I thought I would have a bright future, and that I would continue to excel, fulfilling my parents' expectations." Su Jinning's voice was stiff as she closed her eyes. "But then my mother..."
At this point, he suddenly clenched his fist, as if the scene was replaying in his mind. His voice trembled: "I couldn't get over it, and my grades plummeted."
Shen Moyu also knew what had happened later. Suddenly, she felt sad as well.
Perhaps it was myself; in that kind of environment, it would have been difficult to pick up a book and continue studying.
Su Jinning sneered: "I never saw her again after that. She didn't even say goodbye to me. In the end, all I knew was that she was sent abroad for treatment."
As his own son, his mother left without saying a word to him, and he even felt that it represented her blame and punishment for him. During that time, he was unable to extricate himself from the guilt.
"The good grades I got were met only with my father saying he wouldn't be home for dinner tonight, and a cold letter from my mother." Su Jinning's voice trailed off, and when she looked at Shen Moyu, her eyes were filled with a thin mist: "I suddenly feel that there's no point in trying anymore..."
When Shen Moyu met his gaze, her heart skipped a beat, and a wave of sadness suddenly washed over her.
It turns out that before they met, their story was full of sadness.
But Su Jinning seems to have rarely talked to me about this...
Su Jinning lowered her head, trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. She sniffed softly, "At that moment, I thought that if my mom were here, she would definitely reward me with a hug. I miss her so much, and suddenly I felt that the house was so lonely without her."
The sky outside the window gradually darkened, and the food stalls at the entrance began to set up. The bustling crowds were a stark contrast to the lively atmosphere inside the hospital ward. The noise mingled with the dappled moonlight.
Su Jinning shifted her gaze to the distant row of brightly lit stalls and their signs: "I used to look forward to growing up, to living the life I dreamed of. I also hoped to visit Fudan University, where my parents loved each other. But..."
"But suddenly I felt it wasn't necessary." This time, Su Jinning spoke lightly, but if you listened carefully, you could still detect a hint of coldness.
His grades kept declining after his mother left, and eventually even his appearance changed completely; he was no longer the Su Jinning he used to be.
After he finished speaking, he didn't say anything more. The soft sobs mingled with the sound of the wind sneaking in through the window and dissipated into the air.
Shen Moyu's eyes welled up with tears. He composed himself, leaned closer, and whispered, "I'm sorry..."
Su Jinning reached up and pressed his temples, his emotions hidden beneath his loose bangs, making it impossible for Shen Moyu to see them.
"And now? Do you have any dreams you really want to achieve?" Shen Moyu asked, trying to guide him when he didn't speak.
Su Jinning was silent for a moment, then laughed self-deprecatingly, "Yes." He paused, then added, "It might be a little embarrassing to say..."
Perhaps it was because his words were too pessimistic, Shen Moyu became more serious: "What are you talking about? Everyone has dreams, there's nothing funny about it."
While Su Jinning was in a daze, Shen Moyu said seriously, word by word, "No matter how grand your dream is, or how insignificant you are, you should not be ridiculed. Don't think like that."
Seeing that Shen Moyu looked even more serious than him, Su Jinning suddenly laughed out loud: "Why are you suddenly talking about dreams?"
Shen Moyu lowered his head: "I don't know, but..." He bit his lip: "I just want to hear what you have to say."
Will it subconsciously answer all of Shen Moyu's questions about him? Su Jinning turned her head and said, "I'm applying to Fudan University. It hasn't changed over the years."
Even though his mother had gone far away and he didn't know when he would see her again, he didn't lose that hope.
He dreamed more than once of himself being admitted to Fudan University, standing under the shade of a tree watching his mother slowly walk towards him.
The image is blurry, but the feeling of happiness is warm and real.
But when she woke up, her mother had not returned, and she was lost in the ephemeral dream.
Shen Moyu suddenly smiled, resting her chin on her hand as she looked at him: "Okay. Then let's take the test."
Su Jinning looked at his nonchalant attitude, smiled helplessly, and closed her eyes wearily: "Don't tease me."
He doesn't even know how to win over the person he likes, let alone realize his long-dormant dream.
"I'm serious," Shen Moyu said solemnly.
The hospital room was dark, with only a few moonlight illuminating their faces. Shen Moyu's eyes sparkled with a hint of starlight: "Actually, you all think I'll probably achieve something great in the future, but my dream is very ordinary. I just want to earn money, support my mother, get married, and live a peaceful and stable life."
Shen Moyu suddenly raised his hand and touched Su Jinning's wrist.
That trickle of water was like his hands suddenly grabbing him as he was falling endlessly.
Shen Moyu didn't grab his wrist, but gently placed her palm on his pulse, as if listening to the beating of his heart: "Once a person has a goal, there will be many small goals waiting for us to break through. They build a bridge that is not solid. We only know that the other side of the bridge is a dream, but we don't know that there is an endless abyss under our feet. We may fall in with a setback."
Su Jinning's heart suddenly tightened. Staring at the faint light in his eyes, her voice trembled slightly: "But I fell down."
Shen Moyu suddenly tightened her grip on his wrist: "That's why I've caught you."
In that oppressive atmosphere, Su Jinning suddenly grasped a sliver of moonlight. It shimmered, danced, and swirled in his palm, becoming the only light slanting down upon him as he hung suspended in mid-air.
Shen Moyu looked at his still clear silhouette in the dim hospital room and said softly, "Don't extinguish your own light, and don't become someone you don't like. Before, it was for your parents; this time, do it for yourself."
Shine brightly for yourself, and countless stars will make way for you.
Su Jinning stood there, stunned, deeply feeling the burning heat in Shen Moyu's hands.
It gradually seeped in and filled my heart.
Su Jinning knew that his life had always been peaceful; no one had intruded into his world, and no one had tried to help him.
He had no idea what the future held, but he desperately wanted to know.
He was like a lost traveler wandering the mountains at night, bewildered and unable to find his way, yet too afraid to explore on his own.
He felt there was no light around him, no guiding light. How to get out, which way to go, or whether to stay where he was?
He had no answer himself, and no one told him the answer.
Su Jinning lowered her head: "I want to, I want to try to change, I want to..."
He said this as if pausing, but only he knew that what followed was a long-held wish buried deep in his heart.