“So…” Gu Junxiao looked up, his body trembling with his voice, “So this is all I can do for you, and I don’t even know if it will be of any use…”
On that autumn day that should have been romantic and cool, Shen Moyu's eyes suddenly flashed with a ruthless light that Shen Moyu had never seen before. It was cold, unfamiliar, and even frightening, making Shen Moyu want to run away.
When the fish ball was knocked to the ground, his tears also shattered on the ground.
“I know you need to study hard because you are Aunt Xia’s only hope.” Gu Junxiao adjusted his emotions, trying not to show his worst side: “So you can’t let this affect everything… I’ve already made mistakes, I can’t make any more.” He stretched out his hand and gestured a little, as if afraid that he wouldn’t believe him: “I can only leave, I have to leave.”
Only when I leave will the rumors disappear with time, and only then will you gradually forget me.
Your wound was inflicted by me, so I can't selfishly plunge the knife deeper. I can only watch it bleed, heal, and scab over. But I don't have the courage to see the scar; that would be my punishment too.
Shen Moyu cleared the jumbled thoughts from her mind and looked into his eyes: "Hmm."
Gu Junxiao gritted his teeth with all his might and said, "I'm sorry..."
I'm sorry. Not for any other reason. It's because I met you first...
This time, Shen Moyu simply looked at him calmly and smiled frankly: "It's okay."
Gu Junxiao's clenched fist sank deep into his flesh, his pale fingertips already devoid of blood.
She didn't look up or say anything; she simply held all her tears in her hands.
He suddenly started sobbing, tears streaming down his face like a wild horse, impossible to stop. He knew he had never cried so hard before. Whether it was being beaten and scolded by his parents as a child, being angry and aggrieved on his own, or even his departure in the end, or the two years he had been unable to let go, he had never felt this way about crying.
He suddenly felt relieved, but he couldn't hold back anymore.
Shen Moyu stood up from the bed, sat at the foot of the bed, hesitated for a moment, then went over and hugged him, then patted him very gently, as if coaxing a child.
Gu Junxiao had longed for this hug for a long time, not for any other reason than his forgiveness.
Gu Junxiao wiped away her tears and suddenly laughed: "Really, in the end, you're the one who comforted me."
Shen Moyu patted his back twice and spoke to him closely for the first time in two years: "The past is the past. Even if you linger on your deathbed for a long time, you still have to move forward."
Gu Junxiao nodded. His mood was like an ancient city gate, closed for a long time, suddenly opened. A thousand rays of sunlight shone in, warm and comforting.
He sighed, placed his hand on Shen Moyu's shoulder, and smiled as he did the summer they first met, saying, "Thank you."
Thank you for still being willing to listen to me, for letting go of the past, for finding peace, and for forgiving me.
Shen Moyu smiled, thought for a moment, and said, "Besides me, you should also thank someone else."
Gu Junxiao was stunned and looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"He taught me that the best is always on the journey." Shen Moyu looked into his eyes, but his peach blossom eyes were inherently affectionate, which gave Gu Junxiao a momentary illusion.
“He also taught me what I want most and what I want to pursue most.” Shen Moyu relaxed and looked at him with a smile: “It is because of him that I have been able to let go of those days and of you.”
These words didn't surprise her. Gu Junxiao bit her lip and fell silent.
"It's Su Jinning, right?" he asked him definitively.
Shen Moyu didn't answer him, but got up and closed the window.
The wind stopped abruptly, shutting out the hustle and bustle of the food street outside the window. In the quietest moment, Shen Moyu softly parted his lips: "It's the person I like."
Because he understands that only the carefree, exhilarating joy of youth is a truly anticipated gift.
“He is not a replacement for you.” Shen Moyu wasn’t adding anything, but rather telling herself, “You are the past, and he is the present and the future. He is a surprise that only I possess.”
Gu Junxiao felt inferior and suddenly felt envious. Even when they were particularly close, Shen Moyu wouldn't say these things. It wasn't because their relationship wasn't strong enough, but because…
There may be many Gu Junxiaos, but there is only one Su Jinning.
Gu Junxiao nodded with a smile, and at the same time, she was happy for him.
He still hoped he would be safe, even though he would later have nothing to do with him.
"Okay." Gu Junxiao nodded, then stood up and looked at him: "Then... I hope you'll always be happy."
Shen Moyu, holding the ball, turned to look at him and smiled gently.
Gu Junxiao smiled, but tears welled up in his eyes: "Actually, the reason I came to you so urgently is to say goodbye." Without waiting for Shen Moyu to ask him, he quietly continued: "I'm transferring schools soon to Beijing. My flight is tomorrow at noon."
Shen Moyu frowned, somewhat unable to accept it: "...Why do you want to transfer again?"
Everything had been resolved, and we had agreed to move on. I thought we could finally sit down together for a meal, play sports, and chat.
Why, it's the same ending again?
"No, it's not." Gu Junxiao understood him after all and knew what he was thinking. He smiled and said, "It's not because of us, don't worry, it's because of my family. I came to talk to you about it because I don't want to..." He scratched his head, "I don't want to have any regrets, after all, I really don't know when I can come back."
Shen Moyu leaned against the window, looking at him. After a long while, he spoke, "Is it really necessary to be in such a rush? Let's have a meal together after I'm discharged from the hospital..."
The tone of her voice, which was almost persuading him to give up his idea of leaving, made him turn his head away: "There's no other way, my flight is tomorrow at noon."
Shen Moyu didn't hesitate: "I understand, then..." He paused, "Remember to come back and visit when you have time."
"must."
Definitely, because not only you, but they are all people I care about.
--------------------
Author's Note:
Because he understands that only the carefree, exhilarating joy of youth is a truly anticipated gift.
——
Good morning. Gu Junxiao's scenes are over. Will we consider giving him a girlfriend later? But it's still undecided. To be honest, I had some conflicting feelings when I was writing about Gu Junxiao. You could say he's bad, but he's not really that bad, and he's quite gentle. But he abandoned the person who trusted him most, and that mistake is irreparable.
Chapter 55 Towards the Light
In May, as temperatures continue to rise, the wind also becomes warm. It quietly blows across the city, subtly bringing the romance of summer.
People often describe May as beautiful, because it brings azure skies, gentle summer breezes that rustle through the hair, shady trees to the eye, and a tranquil, carefree atmosphere.
It is neither too hot nor too cold between spring and summer, just like gentleness.
Shen Moyu recovered quickly, just in time to be discharged from the hospital for the May Day holiday. School was out, and the coffee shop was closed too. Su Jinning had planned to take him out for a couple of days of fun; Shen Moyu had been practically listless in the hospital, which pained him. But Shen Moyu refused. After all, midterms were just a few days away after the holiday, and he didn't want to slack off. Su Jinning knew that Shen Moyu wasn't studying for himself—he was certain he'd get into the A class—but rather for the sake of this aspiring, albeit somewhat slacker, student.
With the start of the new school year, the atmosphere at school has once again become gloomy, weighed down by the approaching midterm exams, like an invisible announcement.
The pressure isn't so great for first-year high school students; it's just a city-wide joint exam. But it's different for second and third-year students. This exam is related to the first class placement for second-year students and also foreshadows the more intense final review for third-year students. The entire school is preparing for this exam.
Today is the day before the midterm exams.