Was it her? Or not? Han Shu stared blankly at the face before him, sadly finding himself unable to confirm anything. Eleven years had passed. Since that day, they had never seen each other again. Han Shu rarely allowed himself to think of her, but he knew he would never forget her, not even until his death. He just never imagined that one day he would be unable to recognize the person standing before him, and even her voice had been forgotten in the long river of time.
That long hair was gone, and the person before him didn't smile. Han Shu didn't even know if the dimples were still there. She wore the same orange vest as the other shop assistants, looking no different from an ordinary fabric shop employee. Many years ago, on that day, that person didn't even glance at Han Shu. If their eyes had met then, that person's eyes would surely have been filled with hatred, but the woman before him had calm and undisturbed eyes.
"Han Shu... Han Shu, what are you up to?"
By the time Han Shu realized he might have lost his composure, Zhu Xiaobei had called his name countless times. "It's okay, I'm fine," he said to Zhu Xiaobei, but also to himself.
The woman smiled slightly at Zhu Xiaobei, "Then you two can take your time looking around. We have a lot of styles in our store."
"Okay, you go ahead with your work." Zhu Xiaobei nodded, watching her friend turn and leave. Han Shu had already turned his back to her and continued to flip through the stack of sample fabrics.
"Han Shu".
"Um."
"You've already looked at this stack."
"Oh, I'd like to take another look. There was a nice one earlier, look, it's this one with wide blue stripes, what do you think, isn't it good?"
"The sheets are nice, but you don't look so good. Hey, your palms are sweaty."
"...Xiao Bei, I have a question for you. What's your friend's name?"
"Ask her, her surname is Xie, you know her..."
Before Zhu Xiaobei could finish speaking, Han Shu bypassed her and chased after the woman in the direction she had left. There were several shop assistants in that corner; this wasn't her, and that…that wasn't her either.
Han Shu grabbed a shop assistant wearing the same orange vest as her, as if she had grasped a lifeline, "Where is she? Where did she go... Where did Xie Junian go?"
The shop assistant, whose arm was being held by Han Shu, was clearly quite surprised and even stammered, "Ju Nian... I, our manager just finished his shift and left... he left through the back door."
Where is the back door?
"Just go through the aisle over there by the sofa."
As Han Shu said "thank you," he had already run towards the back door, through the aisle behind the sofa and through that door, and an alleyway lay before him. She hadn't gone long, and definitely hadn't gone far. The alleyway only went in one direction; if he chased after her—if he did it now—he could definitely catch up. But, standing by the door, Han Shu suddenly found himself unable to move his feet.
If he caught up with her, what should he say? Just an "I'm sorry"? Would she accept that? After saying sorry, what should he do next? Eleven years had passed, and Han Shu still hadn't figured it out. Did he want to see Xie Junian, or was he afraid to see her? If he had spent half a day, or perhaps even less, searching all these years, he wouldn't have trouble finding her. But he didn't dare; he was afraid he would feel utterly ashamed in her presence.
They lived in the same city. Many times, perhaps his car whizzed past her, perhaps they brushed past each other on adjacent shelves in a supermarket, perhaps they walked south and north at the same intersection, perhaps she had just left the seat he had been in in an unknown little restaurant... But for more than four thousand days, they had never met. Should Han Shu be glad or disappointed by this?
Someone patted him on the shoulder at that moment. He didn't need to turn around; this was Zhu Xiaobei's signature move, but this time her touch was very light.
"Does she owe you money?" Zhu Xiaobei asked with a smile. "If she really does owe you money, go ahead and pursue her. Don't give me any face."
Han Shu took a step back, closed the door leading to the alley, rubbed his face, and smiled somewhat embarrassedly, "I thought it was an old friend, but it seems I've mistaken him for someone else. How embarrassing."
Zhu Xiaobei casually put her arm around his shoulder. "What's so shameful about it? You mistook her for someone else, and she even shares the same name as your friend. That's quite rare. By the way, I had the sheets billed. If you keep picking them out, I'll lose my temper."
Han Shu took her hand off his shoulder and said with a smile, "Wait a moment, I'll go pay the bill."
The two got back into the car, and Han Shu started the engine. "Shall I take you home?"
Zhu Xiaobei rubbed his legs. "If I don't go back soon, my legs will break."
Han Shu escorted her all the way to the faculty dormitory building of G University. After saying goodbye, Han Shu suddenly said to Zhu Xiaobei, who already had one foot out of the car, "Sorry, Xiaobei."
Zhu Xiaobei got out of the car and closed the door. "I know I'm sorry, but I'll let you have a game next time we play ball."
After leaving G University, Han Shu did not go home. He walked around the riverbank and then called the archivist in the department's archives.
Half an hour later, he returned to his workplace. Because it was the weekend, the office building was empty, but the conscientious archivist was already there waiting for him.
"Xiao Wang, the color of your dress is beautiful today, it really complements your hair. Sorry, did I disturb your date with your boyfriend?"
From eighty-year-old grandmothers to eight-month-old baby girls, Han Shu's praise of women was as sincere as ever, which was one of the reasons why he was well-liked by everyone in his workplace.
Archivist Xiao Wang grinned. "At most, I'll be meeting with the Duke of Zhou (the Duke of Zhou in the morning). Section Chief Han, you still remember work on the weekend?"
"There's a small problem that I need to find some old files to verify. The files I'm looking for are quite old, so I might have to trouble you with that."
The young girl opened the door to the archives room. Han Shu wasn't particularly arrogant; everyone in the compound, young and old, could talk to him. However, he had one principle when it came to getting things done: speed. He wouldn't come to check the files on weekends unless it was something important, and Xiao Wang didn't dare to delay. "What's so hard about this? How far away is it?"
Han Shu said, "Eleven years."
Chapter Three: Love may fade, but guilt will not.
On Monday morning, Han Shu greeted his colleagues as he walked towards his office. Rumors of his impending transfer from the South City Institute had already spread, and most of his colleagues knew his promotion was imminent. Climbing the ranks to the City Institute certainly signified a new turning point in his career. His smooth sailing had drawn envy, jealousy, admiration, and speculation about inside stories. However, the greetings were invariably limited to a few simple words.
"Han Shu, don't forget about us now that you've been promoted."
"When you leave, don't forget to treat us to a meal, as a way of saying goodbye."
"What, we all thought you went straight to the municipal hospital to report for duty."
Han Shu smiled and replied, "It's not even a matter of time yet, but you're already planning ahead more than I am. Since you're so reluctant to let me go, how can I bear to leave without saying a word?"
As Han Shu walked to his office, the smile finally faded from his face, and he rubbed his forehead, clearly uncomfortable. He was the son of President Han of the Provincial Higher People's Court—a "secret" he rarely mentioned, but which was known to almost everyone. Although the judicial and legal supervisory bodies belonged to different systems, cross-appointment at the top level had become a common practice in recent years. Han Shu's father, Han Shewen, was still the vice president of the Provincial Higher People's Procuratorate three years ago, and his connections in the political and legal circles were unquestionable. As Han Shewen's son, Han Shu's rapid rise was seen as a matter of course by almost everyone; his actual abilities and efforts became irrelevant.
Like all proud young people, Han Shu subconsciously resisted the title "Han Shewen's son" being placed before his name "Han Shu," becoming the most important definition others would use to describe him. In his younger days, Han Shu even vowed never to rely on his father's connections and to forge his own path. Of course, he no longer believed he needed his father's protection, but he understood one thing: unless he completely distanced himself from the political and legal world, he couldn't escape the influence of his father's power. Many things he didn't want, and his father hadn't asked for, were automatically and willingly offered to him. These preferential treatments were omnipresent, inescapable, until he reluctantly accepted their existence as a deeper, unspoken rule.
During his middle school years, Han Shu thought that he should not get involved in the political and legal industry in the future. He could be a scientist, architect, doctor, or even a businessman. He just didn't want to follow the old man's old path. However, talent and hobbies may be something that comes with his bloodline. Although he was very reluctant to admit it, when he first walked into the gate of the University of Political Science and Law, he really felt his blood boiling. Later, he convinced himself that he was probably destined to do this job.
Fortunately, Han Shu wasn't one to dwell on things. After working in society for a while, he finally understood a crucial principle: regardless of whether he could surpass his father in this lifetime, even if he eventually did, people would still remember him for standing on the shoulders of giants. Or, even if he had stubbornly left the industry, the "shadow" of Dean Han would still be omnipresent. Since everyone says life is like rape—you can't escape it, so you might as well enjoy it—Han Shu agreed. Since he was destined to wear the hat of Dean Han's son, he might as well be proud, hold his head high, and wear that hat more beautifully than anyone else.
He was intelligent, ambitious, and as he grew older, he became even more diligent. Bearing that "good hat" (a metaphor for being successful), setbacks always seemed to avoid him; it was difficult for him to have any trouble. Although his father always said he wanted to teach him a lesson, he never actually did. In his two or three decades of life, he himself admitted that he hadn't really suffered any major setbacks, except for one—that was Xie Junian. That one fall was too severe, one that this pampered child would never forget.
Thinking of that name, Han Shu, sitting behind his desk, felt a surge of indescribable emotions. The entanglement between a man and a woman was utterly clichéd, nothing more than a matter of love. Although Zhu Xiaobei hadn't said anything, Han Shu knew she had sensed something that day and thought the same thing.
But that's wrong. Xie Junian was never Han Shu's lover. Eleven years have passed. Even if there was love, it would have been worn away and forgotten by time. But there is one thing that will not: guilt.
The seed of guilt was deeply buried in the heart of that naive boy. He desperately tried to convince himself to forget, and at one point, he thought he had succeeded. Human memory has a self-protective quality; Han Shu had successfully forgotten many details of that day. He couldn't remember what color clothes Xie Junian was wearing, how he arrived at the courtroom, or how he returned. He couldn't even remember if it was sunny or rainy that day. Memory seemed to have a blackboard eraser, silently wiping away the fragments he feared to recall, leaving only dust. However, it wasn't until he reunited with Xie Junian that he realized that the seed, though not openly sprouting branches and leaves, had actually grown deep roots, so much so that he could no longer see his own heart.
For the past eleven years, Han Shu had a recurring dream: on that day, Xie Junian stood in the dock, while he sat below. Then, before countless eyes, Xie Junian quietly rose and, in a restrained, calm tone, spoke the truth… If time could turn back, Han Shu believed he would have done just that. But time cannot be reversed, so everything that followed that “then” was forever just a figment of his imagination, a way to comfort himself.
The old files he'd unearthed from the archives the day before yesterday were still in his drawer, but he could only look at them once. They stated: Xie Junian, female, sentenced to five years in prison for eleven years for accomplice robbery and harboring a criminal, served three years in S City Women's Prison, and was released early due to exceptional good behavior. Even through the wooden drawer, Han Shu felt the slightly yellowed paper burning him. But he couldn't remember if Xie Junian had looked at him the day before yesterday, whether those calm eyes were just his imagination, or whether she was looking at him or Xiao Bei. Back then, he hadn't dared to look her in the eye, yet he always hoped she would glance at him. But she didn't, he knew, not even for a second.
Just as I was about to drink something to wake myself up, the internal phone rang. The beautiful lady from the office said, "Section Chief Han, the Chief Prosecutor requests your presence."
The chief prosecutor of the Chengnan Branch is the only female chief prosecutor in G City. Her surname is Cai, and her given name is Yilin. Originally, it was a proper name, but ever since Taiwanese pop diva Jolin Tsai became a superstar, people who know her, when they think of this name and then connect it with Chief Prosecutor Cai, somehow feel a sense of wanting to laugh but not daring to. In her youth, Cai Yilin was known as a beauty who swept through the political and legal system, a famous artistic vanguard. Now, having dedicated thirty years of her youth to the prosecutorial cause, she has long since gained weight, her youthful beauty has faded, and, moreover, women in leadership positions inevitably have to be more serious than their male counterparts to maintain their authority. In short, the impression Chief Prosecutor Cai gives people today is nothing more than: "plump," stern, and iron-fisted.
When Han Shu knocked on the door of the chief prosecutor's office, he was inwardly groaning. A second later, when he heard the authoritative and calm "Come in," he had no choice but to bite the bullet and go in.
Chief Prosecutor Cai was sitting upright in his seat when he saw Han Shu and gestured with his eyes for him to sit across from him. Han Shu went over, sat up straight, and prepared to listen. But today, Chief Prosecutor Cai unexpectedly didn't launch into a long speech; instead, he simply pushed the folder in front of him towards Han Shu with one hand.
"Your appointment documents have already been sent to the Municipal Procuratorate, as you know. However, the Municipal Procuratorate said that your predecessor still has a case on hand and needs some time to hand over the work. So even if you are in a hurry to leave, you may have to stay at the Chengnan Procuratorate for a while longer. But at most, it will not be more than half a month, so you can rest assured."
Han Shu smiled and poured tea for the person opposite him, "I'll stay a little longer if I want to. I'm actually starting to feel a little reluctant to part with you."
The sternness on Cai Jian's round face vanished instantly. She tapped Han Shu's arm, which was holding the teapot, with the folder and said in feigned anger, "You brat, you even take advantage of me."
Han Shu shook his hand dramatically, "Sister Lin, you don't have to be so harsh."
The relationship between Prosecutor Cai and the Han family has a long history. She and Dean Han were classmates in their youth and were sent to another city for further studies together. After returning, they worked in the same department for two years, forging a deep revolutionary friendship during their shared studies and work. Although the two young people claimed to be single-minded at the time, others saw them as a perfect match. Dean Han, focused on his studies, even tactfully stated during a meeting with superiors, "If Comrade Cai has no objections, I have no objections either." However, just when everyone was optimistic, Comrade Cai was swept away by the passionate advances of a young, artistic man from another unit. In the end, it was her childhood best friend who met and married Dean Han through this man. Because of this connection, Prosecutor Cai and Dean Han's family maintained a close relationship for a long time, with both families frequently visiting each other. Even after Han Shewen became a superior, their personal friendship remained.
Prosecutor Cai and her best friend, Han Shu's mother, were inseparable for decades, from childhood friends to old friends. But like all women, even the best of friends inevitably compare themselves and secretly compete. In terms of talent and looks, they were evenly matched in their youth. As for marriage, Han Shu's mother secretly chuckled at Prosecutor Cai's past folly in giving her the position of the hospital director's wife. Prosecutor Cai, however, always believed her ideal husband was multi-talented, romantic, and handsome, far surpassing Han Shu's husband. In their careers, Prosecutor Cai steadily and surely rose to become a leading female figure in the provincial prosecutorial system. Han Shu's mother, on the other hand, worked in the medical field and was now a chief physician at a top-tier hospital. It could be said that these two women were always neck and neck, but in the end, Prosecutor Cai lost out due to a twist of fate.
Eighteen years ago, Cai Jian's husband passed away from liver cancer, bringing their loving marriage to an end. In her early years, she was too strong-willed and focused on her career, neglecting her health, resulting in her having no children when her husband died. This became a great regret for her in the years that followed, arguably the only thing she lacked compared to her mother, Han, who had a complete family. Seven years ago, through an introduction, Cai Jian married a university professor with considerable academic achievements. The widowed couple relied on each other, and although they lacked the intense passion of her first marriage, they treated each other with respect. Unfortunately, fate dealt them another cruel blow. Two years into their marriage, the professor was involved in a car accident while lecturing and passed away, leaving Cai Jian widowed once again.
Having experienced two heart-wrenching separations, Prosecutor Cai vowed never to remarry and to remain a solitary widow forever. The university professor had a son with his ex-wife, who could be considered Prosecutor Cai's stepson. However, by the time Prosecutor Cai married the professor, this son was already an adult. How could a stepmother and stepson, with no blood relation or parental involvement, be truly close? In recent years, although Prosecutor Cai had tried to build a closer relationship with her stepson, he always treated her with polite formality, maintaining a distance, unlike the closer relationship she had with Han Shu.
Perhaps in Prosecutor Cai's eyes, her good friend's son, Han Shu, was the source of her envy and jealousy, and also the best outlet for her unfulfilled maternal love. When Han Shu got into trouble as a child, even his mother couldn't protect him, so Prosecutor Cai stood up for him. As a single woman with ample financial resources, Prosecutor Cai was incredibly generous to Han Shu in terms of food, clothing, and daily necessities. From Han Shu's middle school years onward, most of his luxury items came from this godmother. Even a few years after graduation, when Han Shu planned to buy a car, and despite advocating for young people to be modest and frugal, Prosecutor Cai generously lent him tens of thousands of yuan without hesitation. Han Shu and his wife often said that she was spoiling the child, but Prosecutor Cai would say, "Isn't that what children are meant to be spoiled?"
That's why, in private, Han Shu had become accustomed to his informal and disrespectful behavior towards Prosecutor Cai. Although Prosecutor Cai would sometimes scold him, Han Shu knew that his godmother, who was getting older and lonelier, needed his shamelessness and intimacy as her godson. Over the years, working under Prosecutor Cai had naturally been very rewarding, and of course, his performance had never disappointed the unyielding Prosecutor Cai.
Cai Jian was clearly taken aback by Han Shu's use of the phrase "a Lin Daiyu" again. She laughed and scolded, "If you keep calling me that, next time you'll blame me for not covering for you in front of your old man when you're messing around with other girls."
Han Shu chuckled, "To be honest, as long as I don't date random boyfriends, this old man won't get angry. By the way, why did you summon me so early in the morning? You didn't just want to chat with me for no reason, did you?"
"Of course, there are important matters to attend to during work hours. Take a look at this first."
At Cai Jian's prompting, Han Shu opened the folder that had been used to tap his hand earlier. At first, he had a smile on his face, but slowly, his brows furrowed.
"You're not planning to make me take this case, are you? Are you kidding me? How much longer can I stay at the South City Branch? You won't even let me go for this little bit of time?"
"I guarantee this case won't take you much time. I can't speak for others, but given your abilities, half a month should be more than enough."
Han Shu was clearly unimpressed by this compliment. "Please don't flatter me. You know, I've always worked in criminal cases; economic cases aren't my specialty."
"I really won't answer."
"I'm not taking it. It's not that I'm disrespecting you, but there are so many people in the courtyard, it doesn't necessarily have to be me."
"Han Shu, you kid, you don't trust yourself, are you afraid that if you lose the case now, you'll ruin your reputation and won't be able to report to the municipal court with your impressive win rate?" Prosecutor Cai said with a half-smile.
Han Shu habitually wiped his cheek with his hand and laughed out loud: "Look at you, look at you, you've used your official power, and now you're even using reverse psychology. Do you really want me to take this case?"
His godmother knew him well. Although Han Shu knew that she was trying to provoke him with words, he was proud and arrogant at a young age and would not easily allow anyone to question his abilities.
"Are you sure you can resolve this case within fifteen days? Fine, even if I take it, you need to give me a reason. Don't tell me that none of the other staff in the department are available."
Faced with Han Shu's questioning, Prosecutor Cai lowered his head and pondered for a moment. Han Shu was a smart man; a fabricated reason wouldn't fool him and would only make him suspicious. Besides, Han Shu wasn't an outsider. Thinking of this, Prosecutor Cai sighed, "Take a close look at the contents above. Didn't you see anything?"
Hearing her say that, Han Shu, who had only glanced at the case, couldn't help but take a few more looks. The case was actually not complicated; it was just a minor section chief in the Construction Bureau suspected of embezzlement and bribery. Judging from the materials, the evidence was already quite conclusive, and it wouldn't be difficult to convict him. Han Shu didn't understand why Prosecutor Cai was taking it so seriously.
However, as he reviewed the key keywords again, a sense of déjà vu suddenly washed over him. “Construction Bureau Development Planning Section… Development Planning Section… Godmother, you, your so-and-so… isn’t that… Ah, I understand.”
“It’s good that you understand.” Prosecutor Cai said somewhat sadly, “You know that Tang Ye works in this department, and Wang Guohua, who is being investigated, is the section chief, while A Ye is the deputy. Although I haven’t been a very good stepmother, his father was, after all, my husband. Although this case is not currently related to him, it is too close, and I must avoid any appearance of impropriety, so I cannot take it myself. As for why I refuse to give it to other prosecutors, Han Shu, you should know.”
Yes, Han Shu knows now. Prosecutor Cai is a competent prosecutor; she wouldn't allow herself the opportunity to act out of personal feelings. However, she also harbors affection for her stepson, Tang Ye. She fears that a deeper investigation would implicate more and more people, so she hopes Han Shu will take on the case, hoping he will consider all aspects as much as possible within the bounds of the law.
“I know your heart isn’t in it right now, but Han Shu, just do your godmother a favor,” Cai Jian said.
Han Shu closed the folder. "You've said so much already. If I shake my head again, wouldn't that be incredibly heartless? How could I let you use this as leverage to bring up me every day?"
At this point, Prosecutor Cai finally breathed a sigh of relief. Since Han Shu had already agreed, she could basically rest assured; no one could handle things better than him. Before Han Shu walked out of the office, playing with his folder, she suddenly remembered something and added behind him, "By the way, I heard from your mother that if you don't come home for dinner, your old man is going to lose his temper."
As the beautiful director of the office passed by the prosecutor's office, she happened to see Han Shu looking dejected.
"What's wrong, handsome? Did you get scolded?" the beautiful director asked with concern.
Han Shu waved his hand, "Don't mention it."
"Here, have some chocolate, it'll brighten your mood."
Han Shu, who had always been a big fan of this dish, lost his appetite and shook his head, saying, "Save it for your precious daughter."
"That's strange. You won't even eat this? Have you lost all interest in life?" The beautiful older sister is a year older than Han Shu. She dated Han Shu for half a month when he first graduated. She was Han Shu's second official girlfriend. Now she has found a good husband and is a mother, but she still has a very close relationship with Han Shu.
Han Shu took several steps before saying, "To tell you the truth, I've eaten this shape before, and it's not tasty at all."
Chapter Four: He who is lonely now will always be lonely.