"Thoughts, experiences, insights! Say whatever comes to mind." Every word seemed to be squeezed out from between Han Shu's teeth.
Ju Nian hesitated for a moment, then whispered, "Actually, actually your thighs are quite white." Especially when you lift up your pants, the areas that aren't usually exposed to sunlight are dazzlingly white. Even though Ju Nian is a girl, she could only admire her own whiteness. However, Han Shu seemed to have always been quite fair-skinned when he was little, a trait he inherited from his mother. People in the compound used to say that Director Han's wife had particularly radiant skin when she was young. Han Shu probably got a bit tanned in the last few years as he grew up and became more active, but his thighs revealed their true color when the sun was out.
"Thank you, Junian!"
When Ju Nian heard Han Shu shout, her first reaction was to shrink to the side to protect herself. Unexpectedly, this shrink caused her to step right into a low-lying, waterlogged area caused by construction. The black slurry immediately submerged her shoes—her only pair of sneakers, which she had just cleaned last week.
Ju Nian pulled her feet out of the puddle. Water had seeped into her shoes, soaking her socks and making her feel uncomfortable. Her once white shoes looked like they had been dropped into a jar of soy sauce, completely ruined and a pitiful sight.
"May I ask what you need me for?" Ju Nian looked at her shoes, then at Han Shu, speechless.
"Actually, I just wanted to call you over and tell you to watch out for that puddle by your feet. My shoes are soaked! I really meant well!"
"Thank you so much."
The two walked back to Hall 3, one after the other, where Wu Yu and Chen Jiejie were already practicing their serves to each other across the net. Ju Nian's disheveled footwork quickly caught their attention, and Wu Yu immediately stopped her racket and ran over. "What happened? Where did it fall?"
He asked about Ju Nian, but his eyes inadvertently glanced at Han Shu.
"Don't look at me, it's none of my business!" Han Shu was not so oblivious as to lack the ability to read between the lines, and immediately distanced himself from the situation.
"I didn't see it myself, so I'm lucky. I just fell into a puddle by the roadside, not a toilet," Ju Nian said to Wu Yu with a smile, her pessimistic optimism pervasive.
“My home is nearby, Ju Nian. What shoe size do you wear? Size 6, right? Why don’t you hurry back to my house and change into a pair of mine? It’s really uncomfortable to wear wet shoes.” Chen Jiejie put down her clapper and walked over to Ju Nian.
Ju Nian picked up her things. "No need, I'll just go back. Sorry, you might have to find someone else to play with."
She slung the racket over her shoulder, bowed her head, and said goodbye. Suddenly, she desperately wanted Wu Yu to say something at that moment—what should he say? Well, maybe, "Ju Nian, I'll go with you." Or perhaps he should say to Chen Jiejie, "I'm sorry, 'we' are leaving first."
Ju Nian knew that having such thoughts was selfish, but she couldn't stop herself from having expectations.
"Wait a minute, I might as well go back too. Anyway, the three of us can't fight."
Ju Nian finally heard these words, but the one who spoke them was Han Shu.
"No need, you don't need to come with me," Ju Nian said without hesitation.
Han Shu gave an exaggerated, fake laugh: "Did I say I was coming with you? I was planning to sleep at home anyway, and now that there's another person, it's perfect for me to get away."
Since that's the case, what else could Ju Nian say? She looked up at Wu Yu and Chen Jiejie and said, "Then I'll go first. You two have fun."
She spoke very slowly, and throughout the entire process, there wasn't a single second that she wasn't waiting.
Wu Yu, why aren't you telling me yet? Didn't you come here because you were with me?
It's wrong for someone to think too highly of themselves; it will only lead to disappointment. Ju Nian knew this from a very young age, but she truly wished she were as important to Wu Yu as he was to her. Having grown up so much, couldn't she be greedy just this once?
Wu Yu did not answer immediately; Chen Jiejie's eyes were on him.
"Xie Junian, are you leaving or not?" Han Shu's patience had run out.
"Are you sure you'll be okay going back by yourself?" Wu Yu finally asked.
Ju Nian gently shook her head.
"Why are you acting like it's a life-or-death separation? I walked her to the bus stop, didn't I?" Han Shu took off his wristband and interjected indifferently.
Wu Yu said, "Then hurry back and take off your shoes. You know my rest time, so come find me then."
"Yes, Ju Nian, my mom said that wearing wet shoes for too long will make you sick. Han Shu, don't bully her!"
"Are you her biological parents or what? Do you think I specialize in trafficking women? Or does she look like she's incapacitated?" Han Shu wasn't buying it. "Let's go, goodbye." He took a couple of steps, then tugged at Ju Nian's sleeve. "If you keep walking so slowly, the security guards might make you walk out barefoot."
Ju Nian turned around and waved to Wu Yu and Chen Jiejie. She did not quicken her pace as Han Shu had hoped, and Han Shu remained two or three steps away from her.
As Ju Nian exited through the main entrance of Hall 3, she turned around and saw Wu Yu and Chen Jiejie already playing ball. Chen Jiejie served the ball out of bounds, and Wu Yu went to retrieve it with a smile. But was he really smiling from that distance?
It turns out that no one is irreplaceable. She can bring happiness to the little monk, and others can too, such as Chen Jiejie.
Han Shuzhen dutifully accompanied Ju Nian to the bus stop, even though Ju Nian didn't understand why she needed someone to accompany her when the problem was with her shoes, not her feet.
“Hey, I know a place where I can find lots of interesting little trinkets. I’m going there now, do you want to come along?” He seemed very kind.
Ju Nian pointed to his shoes.
Han Shu quickly rummaged through his backpack. "My mom's hospital gave out a lot of shopping cards for malls. Anyway, I don't have anything to buy. Shall we go get a new pair of shoes?"
"Ah, no need." Ju Nian was flattered and shook her head vigorously. The bus stop was right in front of them.
"Wu Yu, is that your former classmate?"
"Um."
"You two seem to get along quite well. I didn't realize you hung out with male classmates. Chen Jiejie is the same, like a saint. Whenever a guy asks her out, she always says, 'Oh, no, thank you.'" His exaggerated mimicry of Chen Jiejie's voice was ridiculous. "Her parents are incredibly controlling. If you make a phone call, the nanny will interrogate you for ten minutes. Of course, I'm an exception. But I wouldn't ask her out either. What sport doesn't she hate? Don't let her normal appearance fool you; what she likes isn't something weird and outlandish?"
Ju Nian glanced at Han Shu, but Han Shu looked away.
"Are you going or not? I found a rare Transformers model there last time."
Just then, the bus Ju Nian was waiting for arrived at the stop. She ran towards the bus, saying, "I'm leaving, you go to Taobao now!" Seeing that Han Shu was standing there without reacting, she imitated the classic song gesture of pop diva Sun Yue and sang, "Don't let happiness go, ba ba ba ba..."
Han Shu said directly, "Let me die."
Chapter Thirty-One: A Drop of Rain on Mount Wu
Whether you like it or not, whether you look forward to it or not, for a high school student, senior year is coming sooner or later. What is senior year? It's the darkest stretch of road before dawn, the most suffocating dullness before the downpour, a hurdle you want to jump over but have to tread carefully.
After the class reshuffle, students from different classes were reunited, and Ju Nian and Chen Jiejie unexpectedly met again in the new Arts Class 2. Han Shu, who had relatively good science grades, also chose Arts, but he was assigned to Arts Class 1. Chen Jiejie remained Ju Nian's deskmate. She told the homeroom teacher that her grades weren't very good, and that sitting next to Xie Ju Nian would help her with her studies. Ju Nian didn't express any opinion on this decision. Unlike other top students, she didn't defend her hard-earned achievements. Her completed homework and exercises were always left on her desk, and countless classmates would borrow them every day, whether they knew them or not. Anyone could borrow them, as long as they remembered to return them, or the last person to lend them their work would hand it in for her. This had become a tacit rule in their class. Other good students, after finishing their homework, would also habitually flip through Ju Nian's notebook during breaks or self-study to see if the answers matched their own. At these times, Ju Nian would usually ignore them, head down, engrossed in her martial arts novels, reading a few chapters each day—a whimsical moment in her otherwise mundane life.
However, Chen Jiejie didn't often seek help from Ju Nian with her studies. A beautiful girl from a wealthy family like her didn't need to put too much effort into her grades. She preferred to chat idly with Ju Nian, talking about her favorite movies and her feelings. Ju Nian was mostly a listener, occasionally smiling to avoid spoiling the fun. While Ju Nian studied or was engrossed in martial arts novels, Chen Jiejie quietly read her works by Eileen Chang. She was a girl who appeared dignified and reserved, but always favored things that were detached and resolute, whether it was the writing or the movies she loved.
Chen Jiejie had another peculiar hobby: nail polish. For high school students, who were generally strict with themselves, painting their nails was still a niche activity. Chen Jiejie would bury herself in her books, painting her nails, first her left hand, then her right, often using a different color for each finger. The bottles and jars she secretly kept in her bag were always brightly colored and strangely unique. After painting, she would carefully examine them, then take out nail polish remover and meticulously clean off all traces of polish, repeating this process endlessly, finding endless enjoyment in it.
The smell of nail polish was pungent. Whether applied during self-study or breaks, the entire classroom could smell it. At this time, the boys couldn't help but look in that direction, while most of the girls showed disgust and indifference. Only Ju Nian ignored it and continued to read her books, even though the smell was right next to her. Perhaps her sense of smell was a little duller than others.
After Chen Jiejie finished painting her nails, Ju Nian was usually the only audience. She would secretly spread her fingers under the desk to show Ju Nian: "Ju Nian, which one do you like?" Ju Nian would always say, "They're all nice." Actually, Chen Jiejie looked best with bright red nail polish. Her slender, white fingers, like water scallions, had blood-red tips that were strikingly beautiful.
Chen Jiejie always paints this color on her most perfect right middle finger; the ten fingers are connected to the heart, and it's like a drop of blood from the tip of her heart.
She once said, "Wu Yu likes it too."
Ju Nian knew that Wu Yu was no longer just a classmate and friend to Chen Jie Jie. Many times, she only learned details about Wu Yu from Chen Jie Jie herself—Wu Yu liked the brightest nail polish, Wu Yu liked long, straight, jet-black hair, Wu Yu laughed the hardest at jokes that weren't funny… It was as if the Wu Yu Chen Jie Jie knew and Ju Nian's Xiao He Yan were two completely different beings. Similarly, Chen Jie Jie, Wu Yu, and the world, as well as Ju Nian and the little monk's world, seemed to belong to different dimensions.
Ju Nian carefully avoided touching the corners, not wanting to pry, but she knew that the other Wu Yu, like the other space, was real. This realization made her feel helpless and sad.
Gradually, Ju Nian stopped participating in Chen Jiejie and the others' weekend basketball games. Han Shu provoked her, "Are you afraid of losing to me?" She ignored him. She even went to see Wu Yu alone less often. If the person she was waiting for was just lingering outside the door, Ju Nian would rather close the door and think about him. Compared to an uncertain figure, at least the longing was complete.
That day, Ju Nian walked back to her classroom from the math classroom, carrying a tall stack of practice test papers. This was supposed to be the class's academic representative's responsibility, but the representative was being lazy, and since Ju Nian had some errands to run with the teacher, she simply asked Ju Nian to do it for her. Ju Nian didn't object; it was just a small favor. However, on her way back, she unfortunately ran into Han Shu, who was also on his way to collect the test papers from the teacher. Han Shu was the academic representative of Class 1, Arts and Sciences.
Han Shu, ever the busybody, asked, "Why did your class's academic representative get a new election?"
"I was just helping out."
"People are chatting in the hallway, what are you doing doing all the hard labor? If you're so kind, why don't you help me out?" Without a word, he cleverly folded the test paper he was holding and put it into Ju Nian's arms. Ju Nian didn't want to get entangled with him, so she walked shakily with the test paper level with her head. She finally reached the door of the Class 1 classroom, but couldn't see the steps and almost missed a step. Han Shu pulled her back, took his things back, and was still ungrateful, "You do what others ask you to do, serves you right!"
Ju Nian ignored him and walked back to her classroom, which was next to Class 1 of Literature. Unexpectedly, someone bumped into her from behind, almost causing her to fall forward. She barely managed to keep her balance, but half of the test paper in her arms fell to the ground. She turned around and saw a girl standing innocently behind her, saying, "I'm sorry, they pushed me!"
Ju Nian couldn't recall the names of the girls who bumped into and pushed her, but they looked familiar. They were both classmates of Han Shu. Ju Nian knew they disapproved of her "trying all sorts of ways to flatter Han Shu," so she had no choice but to accept her fate and bend down to pick up the scattered items one by one. Before long, another pair of hands joined the train conductor picking up the exam papers. Ju Nian recognized those hands; they even smelled of freshly washed nail polish.
After rearranging the exam papers neatly, Ju Nian stood up and hugged the things in her arms tightly.
"Thank you, Chen Jiejie."
Her tone was so polite that Chen Jiejie fell silent under this polite distance.
Back in her seat, Chen Jiejie played with her nails for a while, then suddenly asked, "Ju Nian, do you hate me?"
Ju Nian looked at Chen Jiejie, and after a moment, shook her head.
How she wished she could hate Chen Jiejie, even wished Chen Jiejie had more reasons to be disliked, like many bad girls. But after being Chen Jiejie's deskmate for so long, Ju Nian couldn't find a single thing about her that made her dislike the girl enough. Chen Jiejie was beautiful and cheerful, and even her slightly eccentricities couldn't hide her fun and kindness. Ju Nian thought that if she were Wu Yu, it wouldn't be surprising if she had feelings for this girl.
Ju Nian doesn't dislike Chen Jiejie; she just can't be friends with her and clings to this dark side of herself. Perhaps she's jealous of Chen Jiejie, who also has long, straight, black hair, but Wu Yu has never said he likes her.
If she had to take her anger out on someone else, if she had to blame her sadness on someone else, Ju would mostly be secretly blaming Xiao and Yan. If the little monk really did throw the ball at her, then no matter how wonderful others were, it was just their business. But who said that Wu Yu threw the ball at her? Except herself.
After a while, Chen Jiejie asked again, "So, do you like Wu Yu?"
Ju Nian is not used to revealing her feelings to others. Her attachment to Wu Yu is the deepest secret in her heart, known only to herself. She is not ready to share it with anyone.
"Ju Nian, aren't you going to answer?"
“Wu Yu is a very important friend of mine.” Important, and the only one.
Chen Jiejie said, "I feel relieved. I was so afraid to hear you say 'yes' just now. Because I like Wu Yu, and if you like him the same way, I don't know if I can win against you."
Actually, Chen Jiejie's feelings for Wu Yu weren't surprising to Ju Nian, but Chen Jiejie's directness in confronting her still gave her a jolt. The more open and honest the other person was, the more Ju Nian's own hesitation and timidity were revealed. She had never obtained anything with a clear conscience, so she was far less courageous than Chen Jiejie.
"You think the biggest obstacle between you and Wu Yu is me? I'm afraid you're wrong." Ju Nian said in a low voice, flipping through the math practice test she had just received, but she couldn't understand a single question.
Chen Jiejie rested her chin on her hands. "I don't know. You grew up in the same environment as me, you have no idea how crazy it is. Even now, my parents still need someone to pick me up and drop me off at school. They say they're worried about a girl coming home alone. I can't sleep with my bedroom door closed, there are no unlocked drawers, my phone calls are filtered by them, I have to get their permission to go anywhere, and I can only play ball in designated areas. I often think that one day I will disappear from their sight, disappear completely, so that they can never find me again. I think about this every day, every single day, but I don't know where to go alone... The first time I met Wu Yu, he pulled you along the road and ran, so recklessly. He knocked me down. At that time, I envied you. I wished I was the one he was holding hands with."
"He can't take you anywhere."
"How do you know it's impossible? I'll go anywhere with him if he's willing. I know he's the one I've been waiting for, like my destined Romeo, leading me on my journey."
Ju Nian lowered her eyes silently. How familiar that confession was; she wasn't even alone in her feelings. Wu Yu only had two hands; he couldn't carry two people with him, and besides, he had no wings. Where could he fly?
“I know this sounds silly, and I’m not afraid you’ll laugh. I like him, and I don’t have a single reason. I don’t care whose son Wu Yu is; I just know that I feel happy when I’m with him. He was the first person to take me to that roadside stall, so why can’t I eat there? When he’s not talking, I feel so peaceful around him; it’s like the whole world is silent. I’ve never told any of this to anyone except you. Nobody else understands, but you should know how good a person he is.”
Ju Nian smiled, wishing she had never understood.
The teacher walked into the classroom, and Chen Jiejie put down her hand that was stroking her cheek. "Let's not talk about that. Next weekend is my eighteenth birthday. It's a very important day for me. I've invited some friends to my house. Ju Nian, I really hope you can come too."
Chen Jiejie must have also invited Han Shu, because she said that Han Shu's father was a respected friend of the Chen family, and Han Shu had become one of the few boys who could associate with her.
On Thursday, Ju Nian unexpectedly ran into Han Shu again on her way home by bicycle.
Han Shu asked, "Have you decided what gift to give?"
Ju Nian certainly hadn't seriously considered this issue.
"I haven't decided yet. How about we save time and chip in, and just give each other something?"
"Huh? Me and you? Isn't that inappropriate?"
"At worst, I'll pay more; you can pay as much as you want."
"No, that's not the issue?"
"Why are you asking so many questions? Just leave us quiet and it's settled!"
"Uh..." Ju Nian didn't even have a chance to say what she was going to say next before Han Shu's car had already slipped into a side road.