Ju Nian wanted to let it go, to pretend they had never been there, to go back to square one—what was wrong with that? She stepped aside to avoid them and slowly took a few steps, but too many things were stuck in her throat, and she couldn't swallow them.
She took a deep breath, turned around, and said calmly and expressionlessly to Xie Maohua and his wife, "By the way, do you know that eleven years ago, this well-behaved child from the Han family, raised by a respectable family, raped me?"
This was such a shameful past, like a bomb exploding; she shouldn't have brought it up. The Xie Maohua couple cared so much about their reputation, but what did Ju Nian care about?
The Xie couple stood there dumbfounded. After a long while, Xie's mother looked around and asked in a panic, "Why didn't you say so before?"
Why didn't she say anything? Ju Nian remembered that day when she stumbled out of that dilapidated "Sweet Honey" hotel. She had thought about throwing herself into her parents' arms and crying her heart out, but she knew what they would say. They would say that flies don't land on eggs without cracks, and if you were a decent girl, he wouldn't have succeeded. They would say that since it had already happened, family scandals shouldn't be aired in public, otherwise, she would be too ashamed to face anyone. Since the young master of the Han family had taken a liking to her, as long as they gave her an explanation, that would be a blessing for her.
She used to be able to see things clearly, so how could she be so confused today?
When Ju Nian saw Tang Ye coming to visit with a fruit basket, he saw this unpleasant scene from afar and was about to make way, but Ju Nian seemed to see a savior. She ran to his side, took the fruit from his hands, checked her eyes, and smiled sweetly, "Why are you here?"
That day, Fei Ming seemed to have slept for a very long time. All she knew was that when she woke up, her parents-in-law and uncle had already left, and her aunt had brought her Uncle Tang, who was just as interesting.
Han Shu returned two days later, excitedly bringing a set of strangely patterned cups, one for himself, one for Ju Nian, and one for Fei Ming.
"The paper cups have a strange smell," he said.
Seeing that Ju Nian wasn't very interested, he picked up the one Ju Nian had and handed it to her, saying with a smile, "I've been choosing for a long time. Look, the pattern on this cup suits you perfectly."
Ju Nian glanced at the inexplicable cartoon illustrations on it and said, "I'm not worthy of it."
Han Shu was doused with cold water, so he had no choice but to put down the cup, squat down in front of Ju Nian who was sitting, and look up to hold her.
This posture and distance made Ju Nian feel uncomfortable, so she stepped back.
"Your family came by? Are you upset about this?" Han Shu asked.
"It really is you." Ju Nian didn't know what to say. "What exactly did you tell them?"
"I didn't say anything. Really!" Han Shu then realized that things might not be going as he expected, and he felt uneasy. "I just found your brother and your parents and told them that Fei Ming is sick. They are your family. I don't ask them to do anything for you. I just want them to come and see you, at least ask: Ju Nian, are you doing well? Is that too much to ask? Did I do something wrong?"
Ju Nian listened but didn't react for a long time, making Han Shu increasingly uneasy.
"Tell me, did they bully you? I really can't stand them. They've been mean to you since you were little."
After a long silence, Ju Nian gave a bitter laugh, "Han Shu, I used to think you were an idiot..."
Han Shu laughed, a hint of anticipation creeping into his eyes.
"And now?"
"Now I know that you really are like that."
Han Shu was somewhat embarrassed and got up dejectedly.
"Aren't you afraid your dad will find out what you're doing if you go to see Wang Nian?" This kind of scolding from Dean Han to his son when he was a child was a common occurrence in the family compound.
Han Shu rubbed his stiff face. "Anyway, it's impossible to hide it. I didn't intend to hide it anyway. They'll find out soon enough."
“Because Fei Ming’s illness requires her to be transferred to another hospital, I have already contacted the First People’s Hospital for her. It has the best equipment for treating this kind of illness, as well as Dr. Sun Jinling, the most authoritative neurosurgeon in the province. She is my mother.”
Chapter Fifteen: Her imperfection is my imperfection.
Thursday was not Han Shu's usual day to go home for dinner. After get off work, he lingered in the office for a long time before finally deciding to go out. When he arrived at his parents' apartment building, he unfortunately ran into Dean Han, who was returning late from a meeting.
The driver for Dean Han was still Xie Wangnian. He got out of the car, handed Dean Han his bag, locked the car, and drove away. During this process, Han Shu casually glanced at him, only to find that Xie Wangnian was also secretly observing him. When their eyes met, Xie Wangnian quickly lowered his head and said goodbye to the Han father and son.
Han Shu thought to himself, how could he have ever thought that Xie Wangnian looked somewhat similar to Ju Nian? They were completely different. In his opinion, Xie Wangnian, at such a young age, had somehow learned to be so worldly and slick. It was hard to imagine that the two siblings, born of the same mother, could be so different.
After Xie Wangnian left, Dean Han snorted at Han Shu, "So you have time to come back? Your mother almost thought her precious son had disappeared."
Han Shu smiled and said, "I just came back last week." As he spoke, he noticed his mother's car parked there and breathed a sigh of relief. Today, Dean Han seemed to be in a so-so mood, and his mother was his lifeline.
While the father and son were waiting for the elevator, Han Shu took the opportunity to fawn over Dean Han, snatching the heavy briefcase from his hands and saying, "Dad, let me take it."
Dean Han looked at his son and said, "You've become quite adept at flattery."
Han Shu followed him into the elevator and said with a grin, "I don't do this to others, but it's out of filial piety to you."
"All you do is talk nonsense." Although Dean Han said that, his expression softened considerably.
As soon as he entered the house, Han's mother, Sun Jinling, came out to greet him. She was both surprised and happy to see her son. "You didn't even call before you got back so I could have bought more groceries. Look, I just got off work, and dinner is still not ready. Son, watch some TV with your dad first, and I'll see if there's anything else good to eat in the fridge."
Dean Han couldn't stand his wife's doting attitude towards their son. He shook his head and said, "Our son is so old, yet she still treats him like a child. No wonder he can't mature."
Sun Jinling ignored him and went to prepare food for her son. Han Shu sat down on the sofa with his father, drinking tea and watching the local news on TV. Just then, the news broadcast a segment about the provincial political and legal work conference. Han Shu, who had been somewhat uneasy, laughed and pointed at the TV, saying, "Dad, isn't that you?"
Dean Han neither confirmed nor denied the statement.
"You know what, when the camera pans across the room, our Dean Han is the most handsome."
Dean Han couldn't help but laugh. "Nonsense! We're having a serious meeting, who cares about looks? Speaking of meetings, I had dinner with Chief Prosecutor Ou from your city procuratorate afterward, and he asked about you too. Twenty years ago, Chief Prosecutor Ou worked under me for a while, and he helped with your transfer to the city procuratorate. You, on the other hand, don't know what's important. Is it acceptable for you to drag your feet and refuse to report to your new department?"
When it came to work, Han Shu became more serious. He simply said, "Dad, just you wait, I'll catch a big one soon."
Dean Han loosened his tie. "Young man, remember to be cautious and thorough in your work. I also saw Lin Jing at this meeting. Lin Jing is a few years older than you, but he's already firmly in charge of the North City Institute. You have a good relationship with him. Can't you learn from other people's words and actions?"
"You don't need to belittle one when you praise the other. It's like I like lemon tea, but I didn't say your Longjing tea is bitter, right? Besides, reaching Lin Jing's level isn't necessarily that difficult."
"If you weren't my son, Han Shewen, then it wouldn't matter whether it's difficult or not!"
Han Shu wanted to argue his case, acknowledging that his success was inseparable from being "Han Shewen's son," but this did not negate his own efforts; just as he was not. However, he held back; he couldn't afford to fall out with the old man today.
At the dinner table, Sun Jinling continued to put food into her son's bowl as usual, but Han Shu had something on his mind, and the taste in his mouth was bland.
"What are you thinking about, son? You're not eating or drinking," Sun Jinling asked.
Han Shu laughed: "Can't I have things on my mind?"
"What else could you be thinking? It's all just nonsense," Dean Han said.
How can you talk about such an important matter as your life's destiny in such a messy way?
Han Shu finished speaking half-jokingly, and after a while, when he didn't hear his parents respond, he looked up from his rice bowl and realized that the other two people at the table had put down their chopsticks and were looking at him. It seemed he had underestimated the importance of this matter in the hearts of the elderly.
"Honey, you've found another girlfriend?"
Han Shu coughed lightly and said, "Mom, could you please remove the word 'again'?"
"Who is it? What is it like?" Sun Jinling asked.
"Who is it? It's someone I like. As for what they look like, they just look like the kind of person I like."
Sun Jinling had asked this question before, and Han Shu's answer was always the same: "That's the woman I married; she looks like your daughter-in-law." This time, he said he "liked her." Sun Jinling and her husband exchanged a glance.
"Really? Then you'll have to bring that girl back so we can see her."
Han Shu shook his head repeatedly, "The way you all are on high alert is frightening to me, let alone her?"
"Nonsense!" Dean Han scolded, "When have your mother and I ever interfered excessively in your love life? We just want you to find someone with a respectable background."
“I am a respectable person, but others may not be willing to come to my door.”
Sun Jinling laughed upon hearing this, and looked at her husband, saying, "I never thought that our second son would also have a tough problem to crack."
Dean Han, however, did not smile. "What's their surname? What do they do?"
"Mom, look, Dad's undergoing a political background check." Han Shu avoided Dean Han's overly direct question and instead turned to his mother for help.
"Your dad is just concerned about you."
Han Shu said, "I know what you'll ask: what does she do for a living, how old is she, what does her family do... but those are all superficial questions. Why not ask if she's kind, intelligent, or if I'm happy with her?"
Sun Jinling went along with her son, "Okay, then tell me, is she kind or not? Is she smart or not? Are you two happy together?"
Han Shu put down his chopsticks and answered decisively, "Of course!" He then added, "At least I feel very happy."
"A three-minute burst of enthusiasm, only seeking immediate gratification, is a superficial kind of happiness."
Sun Jinling held her husband's hand, "Don't think so badly of our son. Han Shu, don't blame us old folks for being anxious. Your sister gave birth abroad, and your father, though he doesn't say it, is also regretful. If only you could have settled down and had a child sooner..."
Han Shu casually replied, "If one day I really bring the child to you, you mustn't jump out of your skin."
"What did you say?"
Seeing his parents' stunned expressions, Han Shucai regretted his slip of the tongue. After this series of probing questions, he became increasingly unsure. It seemed he would have to take a roundabout approach, putting his father aside for now and convincing his mother first. So he chuckled and said, "I mean, when you retire, I'll really leave the kids with you. Mom, you won't have so many surgeries then, and Dad won't have so many meetings and social engagements. You can take care of the kids for me every day, but you can't complain."
He was just talking nonsense, and Sun Jinling laughed it off. But when Dean Han, who had just picked up his bowl again, heard this, he slammed down his chopsticks and said, "You're also planning for my retirement? What good will my retirement do you?"
Han Shu was taken aback by Dean Han's inexplicable anger. Not knowing what was going on, and seeing his mother remain silent, he didn't dare to utter a sound and lowered his head to eat his rice. The dining table fell silent, and no one spoke again.
After Dean Han put down his chopsticks and left the table, Han Shu was granted amnesty. Seeing his mother finish cleaning up the dishes and go into the kitchen, he quickly followed her in and insisted on washing the dishes.
Sun Jinling doted on her son since he was a child, and Han Shu had never done any housework, rarely even washing dishes. Seeing him put on the dishwashing gloves with such seriousness, Sun Jinling laughed and said, "What's wrong with this child today? If your father sees this, he'll definitely say that you're 'offering help for no reason, you must have ulterior motives'."
Han Shu was puzzled, so he leaned closer to Sun Jinling and whispered, "Mom, I didn't say anything wrong, did I? The old man looks like he's been stepped on. What's wrong with him?"
Sun Jinling quickly reminded him, "Don't mention the word 'retirement' in front of your dad. There were rumors recently that they're planning to have people your dad's age retire early, letting younger cadres take their place. Your dad's unhappy about it. You know he's always been strong-willed and unwilling to admit he's getting old. If he weren't really old, he wouldn't be so suspicious. Even before the official documents came down, his temper flared up. You can easily touch a sore spot and he thinks everyone's hoping he'll become powerless and 'useless.' It's not just you; even I've been given the cold shoulder a few times. Men and women are really different. I think all the time that if I retire, I'll wholeheartedly take care of you two. But your dad, the closer he gets to retirement, the more work and social engagements he has..."
As they were talking, they could faintly hear Dean Han answering the phone in the living room. They couldn't tell who was on the other end, but they could hear his harsh words. Sun Jinling gestured towards her husband's direction and whispered to her son, "Did you hear that? I wonder who's messed with you again. You'd better watch out."
Han Shu pretended to tremble, "No wonder people say men also have menopause. Mom, you're still the best."
Sun Jinling laughed irritably, "Don't flatter me. Of course I'm good, but it depends on who you're talking to."
"I love my son as much as other people's sons, Mom. How's the arrangement for what I told you on the phone the day before yesterday going?" Han Shu pressed on, seizing the opportunity.
"What's wrong?" Sun Jinling seemed to think for a moment before pretending to realize something. "Oh, you mean that friend's sick child? I contacted them for you, but our hospital beds are really scarce, and I have a lot of surgeries scheduled, I'm afraid..."
"Mom, if that child doesn't receive timely treatment, she might die. She's only 11 years old!" Han Shu immediately stopped what he was doing. "I don't care, you have to operate on her!"
"Son, it's not that Mom doesn't care, it's just that I can't manage it all."
Han Shu became anxious, "Doctors have the heart of parents; you can't just stand by and watch someone die."
Sun Jinling's face turned slightly cold. "You came back for dinner and washed the dishes for me just for this? Since you say doctors have the heart of parents, you should also know that hospitals should treat all patients equally. It's not that I haven't seen poor, sick children, but there are millions of them. I'm not a god, can I save them all? I said I could help her as much as possible, but there has to be a principle. Aren't other sick people also living, breathing human beings?"
"Others are others, but now it's your own son begging you. How can it be the same?"
"Han Shu, it's not that I'm criticizing you, but there's a limit to helping your friends! You should also tell your friend that after reviewing the medical records, even if I were to perform the surgery myself, I might not be able to guarantee success. Sometimes you have to accept reality."
"If she weren't my friend, but my family, and also your family, would you still say such things?"
"But she isn't."
“Who says she isn’t?” Han Shu blurted out, the ominous implication in his mother’s words making him increasingly uneasy. He had long considered telling his mother some things, but he hadn’t expected it to be in this way.
Sun Jinling was silent for a few seconds before looking up at Han Shu. "I noticed it too. Your father has been acting strangely lately. Tell me, what exactly do you want to say? Who is 'she'?"
Han Shu washed the dish, which was already spotless, over and over again. His anxiety was like the detergent foam in the sink, growing stronger with each stir. Fragments of the past burst open one by one like bubbles, quietly startling him.