Perhaps they all felt equally exhausted, both physically and mentally, too weary to bear any intense or dramatic events. Then, they continued their absurd, drowsy sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Six: The Shattered 'What If'
In the hour or two before dawn, Han Shu had a jumbled dream. He even dreamt of police cars with sirens blaring at the school gate, of him being arrested by righteous police officers, surrounded by onlookers who pointed and whispered with disdain about his vulgarity and shamelessness. Someone fainted on the spot—his mother, Sun Jinling. Han Shu's eyes were bloodshot; if someone hadn't held him back, he would have rushed forward and torn the unfilial son, who had brought shame upon the Han family, to pieces. Amidst the constant urging of the crowd, Han Shu kept turning back, but he couldn't see the victim in this case, not even her back. This left him feeling both lost and melancholic. He knew he wasn't unjustly accused, but if she were there, even just a smug look on her face, he would feel he deserved his fate and find peace.
It wasn't until the morning light shattered his mental recollection of his imprisonment that Han Shu opened his eyes a crack. It took him a tenth of a second to regain his senses and grasp his current situation before he immediately jumped up. He was practically dangling from the edge of the bed, and the sudden movement caused him to tumble and fall to the floor. Luckily, he was wrapped in the blankets, so the pain wasn't too bad. Unfortunately, he was too late. The old-fashioned wooden bed, which he hadn't even seen clearly the night before, was empty. Even the men's shirt that wasn't his had long been put away.
Although Han Shu always preferred to wake up naturally, his biological clock was very accurate, and he wasn't a late sleeper. On the other hand, regarding Xie Junian, although he had no experience living with her, based on his observations of her over a considerable period of time, unless she wasn't on an early shift or had something special to do, she usually slept until late morning before groggily going to Uncle Cai's to get milk. Thinking back to high school, she was usually the queen of lateness, always barging into the classroom just as the bell rang, and he didn't know how many times he had caught her. He never expected that this time he would wake up after Xie Junian, and Han Shu suddenly felt extremely passive. The scene from last night replayed in his mind, making him even more flustered and his face burning. He quickly put on his clothes, tidied the sheets and blankets, and forced himself to go out.
Fei Ming hadn't gotten up yet, and the broken clock in the hall confirmed that it was still early. Han Shu glanced towards the courtyard gate with a guilty conscience. There were no police cars or law enforcement officers as he had in his dream. Then he heard the door creak open, and the victim, with wet hair, walked out of the steamy bathroom, carrying a basin of clothes.
Han Shu felt somewhat embarrassed, so he tried his old trick of coughing a few times to get Ju Nian's attention. Ju Nian ignored him, put down the clothes in the basin, grabbed a dry towel, and started drying her hair. Han Shu coughed even louder, but to no avail. He finally believed that she was deliberately ignoring him, and that even if he coughed until his throat was hoarse, it would be in vain. He felt uncertain. After last night's mess, he knew he was guilty, but whether she wanted him dead or alive, she should at least give him an answer.
So Han Shu stammered and dawdled behind Ju Nian, hesitated for a long time, and blurted out, "Look... what... what should we do?" After saying that, he wanted to slap himself. Was this something a man should say the next morning?
Ju Nian stopped drying her hair and didn't turn around to look at him. In just a short while, Han Shu felt like he was suffocating.
"You can leave now, and don't come back again." Her voice was devoid of any obvious emotion.
Oh… she intends to let it go, as if it never happened. It seems he's shamefully escaped another ordeal. Han Shu couldn't tell if he felt relieved or disappointed. He thought, somewhat pathetically, that he was such a scoundrel, there was no reason for him to just let it go like that. How could she just end it with a single sentence? It was also his own fault. Last night, before that incident, everything was so perfect and complete. He could even feel himself getting closer to her. Who knew that evil spirit would possess him and cause that scene, ruining everything? Her attitude was already merciful. Even if he was shameless, he had no reason to linger any longer.
"Can I wash my face before I leave?" That was all Han Shu could say at this point.
Ju Nian didn't say anything. He went to find his toiletries and walked dejectedly to the faucet in the courtyard. Just as he slowly squeezed a perfectly shaped tube of toothpaste onto his toothbrush, he heard a knocking sound coming from outside the yard.
"Ju Nian, are you home?"
Who else could that voice belong to but Tang Ye?
Of course, Ju Nian heard it too. She straightened up, subconsciously gathered her half-dry hair, and looked somewhat at a loss.
The sound of the lock on the iron gate hitting the iron bars continued, but Ju Nian didn't move.
Han Shu guessed that she was probably pretending not to be there, so he "kindly" said, "Do you need me to open the door?"
This statement worked; Ju Nian immediately turned around and grabbed him, her face flushed with a suspicious blush.
"Don't move!"
She put down the towel she was using to dry her hair and hurriedly went outside.
As expected, it was Tang Ye who arrived. He was still wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday when he picked up Ju Nian and Fei Ming. He had bluish stubble on his chin, which meant he had been keeping vigil by Chief Prosecutor Cai's bedside until now. He looked haggard, but his eyes were still incredibly clear.
Ju Nian opened the door. She stood in the doorway, brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, and asked, "Good morning, you're here?"
Tang Ye nodded and smiled, "Happy New Year."
Yes, it was early morning on the first day of the Lunar New Year. Ju Nian, as if waking from a dream, replied, "Happy New Year."
She didn't step aside to let Tang Ye in, and she didn't know why he had left his stepmother, who was seriously ill and needed care, so she quietly waited for him to say what he was going to say next.
Tang Ye did not state his purpose directly. He looked at Ju Nian with a thoughtful gaze and suddenly asked, "Ju Nian, has something happened?"
Ju Nian hurriedly brushed her hair aside. The half-dry ends were making her feel uneasy. She wanted to touch her face. She hadn't looked at herself carefully enough in the mirror before. Could there be any suspicious marks left on her face? She remembered. No wonder he also felt something was wrong. According to local customs, there was absolutely no reason to wash one's hair on the morning of the first day of the new year.
Just then, she heard someone come out of the house.
"Hey, um... can I use the towel I used to dry my hair last night?"
Ju Nian turned around almost immediately, not because she was so eager to see Han Shu, but because she didn't want to see Tang Ye's expression at that moment.
Han Shu stood innocently under the eaves, holding a toothbrush. His hair was slightly messy, as if his forehead had "I just got up" written on it. What was even more unbearable was that there were three obvious fingernail scratches on half of his face, from his cheekbone to the corner of his mouth.
As if to address Ju Nian's unspoken reproach and displeasure, he said somewhat helplessly, "I want to solemnly declare that I did not interrupt you on purpose. You forgot that my car was parked right at the door. How could he not know?"
After saying that, his second question was directed at Tang Ye: "Is my godmother feeling any better?"
Ju Nian turned around. Tang Ye's expression was much calmer than she had imagined, even indifferent, with a hint of weariness, perhaps the result of staying up all night to care for a patient. He politely answered Han Shu's question.
"It's still the same. There's no danger to your life, but it's unlikely you'll recover to normal in a while. Thank you for your concern."
“She’s my godmother too. I’ll go see her later.” Han Shu finished speaking and pointed to the house. “Why don’t you come in and sit down and chat?”
He responded to Tang Ye with the same politeness, as if the work-related conflicts and the awkwardness at hand had temporarily disappeared. However, not only Tang Ye, but even Ju Nian suddenly realized that when he spoke like that, it seemed as if he was the host of the house and the others were uninvited guests.
"No need, I'll just say a few words and then leave," Tang Ye said without hesitation.
Ju Nian turned to the side and said, "Please come in, it's cold outside."
Tang Ye did not move. This situation, this scene, was indescribably bizarre, as if everything was out of place.
The sound of firecrackers went off at Cai Bu's house. It was a traditional custom that the first thing to do upon waking up on New Year's Day was to open the door and set off firecrackers, symbolizing "good fortune at the beginning of the year." Han Shu seemed to suddenly remember something and slapped his forehead, asking Ju Nian, "You didn't buy any firecrackers, did you? It's still good to have this auspicious sign. Setting off firecrackers can dispel the bad luck of the old year. Or, I'll go to Uncle Cai's house and buy a few."
He turned around to put his toothbrush down, then hurried towards Uncle Cai's house. No one objected; perhaps everyone present breathed a sigh of relief at his temporary departure.
Han Shu walked past, leaving only Tang Ye and Ju Nian at the doorway.
"I'm so sorry I stood you up yesterday," Tang Ye said, still standing in the same spot.
Ju Nian had considered explaining. She had thought of saying that Han Shu had been kicked out of his home, so he had taken her in and spent the night there. This was part of the truth, but saying it would only make things worse. Since she couldn't explain it clearly, she decided to keep quiet.
"Don't say that, your business is more important." She lowered her head, her half-dry hair hanging down, making her face look even smaller and more pitiful.
He showed no intention of coming in, and her invitation was lukewarm; the two, neither of them being particularly talkative, stood silently at the door. When they finally managed to speak, they bumped into each other. They uttered the following words almost simultaneously.
"He's quite persistent with you."
How are you now?
Then, as if they hadn't heard each other, they both paused in surprise.
Tang Yexian laughed, making a relieved expression. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. I'm going back to the hospital now."
Ju Nian didn't insist on keeping him, and simply gave him a faint smile, saying, "Take care."
Han Shu quickly bought firecrackers from Uncle Cai. From where they were standing, they could see him smiling, waving, and talking to Uncle Cai before turning back.
“Ju Nian, it seems I can’t escape this time. I’m sorry, the ‘what if’ I thought it was just a ‘what if’, even though I really thought about it that way. I’ve spent half my life doing unrealistic things, half my life hesitating, and in the end, I’m afraid it’ll all be for nothing.” Tang Yeshang suddenly stepped forward, speaking so urgently, as if once he passed by, there would be no more time, and he and she would have no more time. “I’m the kind of man who only realizes where he most wants to go when he can’t go anywhere else, but unfortunately, it’s too late… Take this.”
Ju Nian then realized that Tang Ye had stuffed a book he had been holding into her hands. It was a paperback edition of "Journey to the West," which Ju Nian had flipped through when she first visited Tang Ye's house. At that time, they had just met and had a little rivalry over the book.
The book is old, but it is indeed Tang Ye's favorite book, which he often reads.
"Keep this," he said.
Ju Nian's innate sensitivity made her instinctively flip through the book when she received it. She easily opened to a certain page, not because of any preordained connection, but because there was a bank card tucked inside.
"this……"
Han Shu drew closer, and Tang Ye firmly pushed Ju Nian's hand away, interrupting her untimely refusal. "It's not much money, but every penny is clean. I originally asked a friend to keep it for me, and that's how it survived. With the crimes I've committed, I'm afraid even selling everything I own wouldn't be enough to pay it back. I don't know if I'll ever get out of here. My aunt is doing fine, so I'm dividing the money in two. One part is for my great-aunt, and the other is for you. Keep it; it'll come in handy."
He spoke sincerely, as if he had already thought of all the reasons to dispel her refusal.
“This is charity, Ju Nian. If you ever considered me a friend, then don’t say anything… I’m just worried about you.”
Tang Ye spoke of this matter with a calm indifference, neither worried nor troubled, as if he were simply waiting for the already known ending to arrive. This entrustment, filled with despair, stirred something within Ju Nian.
She had actually considered entrusting her life to him, if she had to entrust her life to someone. Perhaps their love wasn't deep enough, but it was warm enough. They understood and cared for each other, which was enough to support each other until old age.
I never imagined that even a "what if" that might not come true would shatter so quickly.
Ju Nian knew all too well about what was happening in prison, which made her even more worried about Tang Ye's future.
As if to dispel those unseen sorrows, Tang Ye laughed self-deprecatingly, "When I first arrived and saw Han Shu's car and his men, I was really dumbfounded. But then I thought, it's not such a bad thing."
"What good news or bad news?" Han Shu, with his sharp ears, overheard some of the conversation even from several meters away.
Tang Ye smiled at him and said, "I'm leaving now."
"Won't we chat a little longer?" Han Shu continued to play dumb, taking the initiative. He also noticed the extra book in Ju Nian's hand and asked, trying to make conversation, "Hey, what good thing are you carrying?"
Tang Ye explained, "It's a book I brought along."
"Giving away this book during the New Year? It can't be some rare, unique copy, can it?" Han Shu said, half-jokingly.
Tang Ye was well aware that he now had no right to dispose of any of his property, including a single book.
At this moment, Ju Nian expressionlessly handed the book to Han Shu, "Should I confiscate it?"
Han Shu was indeed embarrassed and didn't dare to take it, saying, "I didn't see anything."
Tang Ye said to Han Shu, "I have a favor to ask. If the books in my house are of little value, rather than becoming waste paper, I would like to give them to Ju Nian. I'll leave this matter to you."
Han Shu paused for a moment before saying, "It's too early to say anything before a verdict is reached."
Tang Ye didn't dwell on the matter. He turned to Ju Nian and said, "I really have to go now. Please give my regards to Fei Ming." With that, he turned and left.
Han Shuling lit the firecrackers and looked at Ju Nian, who was silently holding an old book, and clarified to himself, "I didn't kick him out." He seemed to have forgotten that he was actually the one who was about to be kicked out.
"Should we wake Fei Ming up to watch the firecrackers?" Han Shu was worried that the fuses would get damp, so he searched the whole yard for a place to hang the firecrackers.
Ju Nian also planned to go and see how Fei Ming was doing. She had already gone to her room once when she got up, and the child was sleeping soundly.
As she walked under the eaves, she and Han Shu simultaneously heard the crisp sound of something breaking on the floor.
The sound was coming from the dark room.
Han Shu almost immediately threw away the firecrackers and ran with Ju Nian to Fei Ming's room.
Fei Ming lay sprawled on the bed in a strange posture, and the glass lamp on her bedside table shattered as it hit the ground.
Ju Nian, completely disoriented, picked up Fei Ming carefully, as if she were terrified, as if Fei Ming, like glass, would shatter at any moment.
Fei Ming's face turned red, and he opened his eyes wide in confusion. "Auntie, my head hurts a little."
"It's okay, it's okay, we'll go to the hospital right away." Ju Nian looked at Han Shu with pleading eyes, and she began to feel grateful that Han Shu hadn't left.
Fei Ming shook his head and said, "It doesn't hurt that much. Let's wait until dawn to go. Has Uncle Han Shu left?"
She simply said those words casually, completely unaware that the two adults' faces immediately turned deathly pale.
It was already past eight in the morning. The sky was overcast, not exactly sunny, but it was still very clear through the window of the small, dimly lit room that it was already daylight. Han Shu was standing at the head of her bed, though he didn't say anything.
Ju Nian felt as if she had fallen into a cold cellar. She held Fei Ming without making a sound, but quietly bit her trembling lips with her teeth.
Han Shu slowly stretched out his hand and waved it up and down in front of Fei Ming's unfocused eyes.
"Auntie, did Uncle Han Shu leave last night? He said he had nowhere to go," Fei Ming said with some difficulty.
Ju Nian closed his eyes briefly, and Han Shu's hand fell limply to his side.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Love Without Reason