"Do you even have the nerve to take her away? What can you give her?" He looked like he was about to pounce on Tang Ye and fight him to the death.
"I can at least treat her better than you."
"You're talking bullshit!" Han Shu blurted out, but quickly realized that he didn't know how to refute it. What had he given Ju Nian? Humiliation, coercion, and the pain of his memories. Besides, he was now not much different from Tang Ye, a stray dog with nothing.
He also saw that Ju Nian was being dragged back a few steps by Tang Ye as if in a daze, and she did not break free from Tang Ye's hand.
Han Shu stopped chasing after him. He sneered, "Believe it or not, even if he gets out of this door, with just one phone call, he won't be able to go anywhere soon!"
Ju Nian surprisingly replied, "Is that so, Han Shu?"
Han Shu approached step by step, and Tang Ye, dragging her along, knew she couldn't escape from his sight, yet she refused to leave alone.
When he finally got close, Tang Ye cautiously reached out and blocked Ju Nian's way.
What exactly do you want?
Han Shu pushed Tang Ye's hand away. "I'll tell you again, this is between her and me."
With the year of Ju Nian fast approaching, she no longer hesitated.
"You want me to let you go?"
Can you?
Han Shu suddenly laughed mysteriously, "That depends on what you can give me. Do you know what I want?"
Ju Nian's face turned from red to white. She understood Han Shu's implication. He was so close that she could almost hear his rapid heartbeat, just like that night.
She restrained Tang Ye, who was so angry he was about to throw caution to the wind.
"Would you let us go then?"
"The medicine is made, but the journey to the Blue Sea is difficult." Does that fate's divination foreshadow this moment? She met him at every turning point in her life.
"yes."
Han Shu grabbed Ju Nian's two arms and slowly dragged her away from Tang Ye.
Tang Ye tightened his grip on Ju Nian's hand, but Ju Nian pulled away, her palms seemingly losing their warmth.
Han Shu half-dragged her into the house, and when Tang Ye's face was finally out of sight, Han Shu leaned down and kissed Ju Nian, who closed her eyes. Then, she felt a trembling, warm touch land on her lips.
She looked at Han Shu blankly.
Han Shu smiled like a child who had gotten his wish.
He said, "I have never kissed you."
He had shared the most intimate contact with her in the world, their bodies intertwined, their breaths mingling, yet he had never kissed her on the lips.
“I was just kidding. I’ve already resigned and I’m nothing now. These things have nothing to do with me. I just don’t want him to know how unlucky I am. You can go wherever you want.”
As Han Shu spoke, he reopened the door for her, only to be met by Tang Ye, who was about to break in.
"Go, I'm letting you go. But I don't know if others will let you go too."
He casually lay back down on the bamboo chair, seemingly relaxed, and closed his eyes, as if he had always been like this, and nothing had happened.
Ju Nian's hand returned to Tang Ye's palm, and she felt his determination to take her away.
Go with him, what are you waiting for? She has nothing of value, her little world is in her heart, what else is there to cherish?
The future seemed to open up like a time tunnel in an instant. Ju Nian looked back at the small courtyard filled with the past, trying to grasp her memories, just like in the movie Stephen Chow's "Tonight we'll fight the tiger" scene, grabbing spring's hand in front of the time tunnel. But what cannot be taken away cannot be taken away; her memories had instantly turned her from youthful beauty to white hair.
Guided by Tang Ye, she finally ran towards the unknown future.
As the footsteps faded into the distance, Han Shu still didn't open his eyes. The wind caressed his face; it was the kind of weather he loved. It was like that day, with a gentle breeze, when he and Chen Jiejie, fresh out of junior high, had arranged to play ball together. They were riding their bicycles when a pair of recklessly running peers knocked them to the ground. He got up and watched as young Ju Nian, holding the hand of the boy in white, ran past him. Then she turned back, revealing her brightest smile. She watched them disappear from sight, brushing the dust off her trousers.
Han Shu had imagined countless endings for their story, but now he realized that perhaps it was best to stop here. Everything was too late to begin, nothing would ever begin, and of course, there would be no sense of helplessness or tears at the end; no one would be heartbroken.
That's fine too. Han Shu saw himself in the mirror of his heart, just as helpless as he was every morning when he woke up. He said to his mirror: I'm fine, I will be fine.
After saying all this, he shamelessly started to cry, thinking, "Let's just take it as a comfort."
Just pretend he's dead
Ju Nian followed Tang Ye into an unfamiliar car that had been waiting in the shadows. The car sped along, traversing the entire city, and finally stopped at a deserted port.
Apart from the single, dark boat moored on the shore with its fishing lamp lit, the surroundings were completely dark. Then, Ju Nian saw that besides them and the driver who hadn't gotten out of the car, there was only one woman on the shore.
The woman, who had been facing away from them, hesitated briefly. He didn't speak, but Ju Nian could sense the chill in his heart from his fingertips and brows at that moment.
The woman who had been facing away from them turned around at the sound, sizing up Tang Ye and Ju Nian, whom he was holding hands with. She was about the same age as Ju Nian, her long hair casually tied in a bun at the back of her head. Ju Nian's presence was clearly unexpected, but she merely raised an eyebrow. She easily gave the impression that no matter how much things changed, nothing could throw her off balance.
"You've arrived, Tang Ye." This greeting was like that of an old friend who had been waiting for you under the moon.
The shimmering light reflected in Tang Ye's eyes in the night made Ju Nian almost think he would cry. She had never seen this reserved man shed a single tear.
"He didn't come?" Tang Ye asked.
The woman nodded. "He asked me to bring you here. I'm sorry, Tang Wei..."
"Is he dead?" Tang Ye interrupted the woman before she could finish speaking.
"You knew all along?"
Tang Ye turned his face to look at the black point where the sea and sky met. He didn't want anyone to see him cry, so the other two assumed his outburst was due to this uncertain escape. Ju Nian didn't know what had happened, but she could imagine that the "he" Tang Ye was referring to was perhaps that gentle yet cold man with tortoiseshell glasses, and the woman before her was the mastermind behind his escape to a foreign land.
"I only know that if he is still alive, he will definitely come."
“Believe it or not, he said the same thing. He said if you didn’t see him, you wouldn’t need to explain anything; you’d know where he went.” The woman laughed, her eyes curving like crescent moons. She looked like a smiling fox, insightful and perceptive, yet gentle and harmless. Tang Ye realized her gaze was fixed on his and Ju Nian’s tightly clasped hands. “If he really comes, do you think he’ll be a little surprised to see this?”
Tang Ye, seemingly caught off guard by grief and disorientation, returned to the reality before him. Perhaps he wasn't entirely unprepared for this outcome. He said to the woman, "President Xiang, I have a favor to ask..."
The woman understood, "You want to take her with you?"
She possesses a convincing power that allows people to feel at ease in her presence and entrust themselves to her.
Tang Ye nodded. He trusted this woman as much as he trusted his travel companion who would never come. She would take him to safety. He couldn't abandon Ju Nian.
"She's your fiancée?"
"Yes."
The woman even nodded to Ju Nian, then looked up at the bright moon that had risen halfway in the sky, unhurriedly, as if what she was seeing was not a death of light, but a casual farewell between friends.
"Do you like the moon? Today is the fourteenth, and tomorrow is the full moon, but I prefer today's, because the full moon is followed by a waning one, while the fourteenth moon can wait until tomorrow. Teng Yun is different; he only loves the full moon on the fifteenth." Her question seemed to need no answer; she seemed to always be someone who answered herself. After saying this, she smiled gently at Tang Ye, "You know, this ship originally had two seats. Let's go, have a safe journey. I've already made arrangements for you. After you get off the ship, someone will take you to where you want to go—oh, I should say 'you.' Don't come back."
Tang Ye pulled Ju Nian toward the shore.
"Thank you, Mr. Xiang," he said sincerely.
The woman said, "No need to thank me. I'm not doing this for you. I promised Teng Yun that I would do it. He deserves it. I was just thinking that if Teng Yun knew that his life-risking escape would ultimately benefit you and your fiancée, he would probably be filled with mixed feelings."
After she finished speaking, she got into the car that Tang Ye and the others had come in. The car didn't drive away immediately; she seemed to be waiting for a ship to set sail.
The boat rocked gently in the shallow water. Tang Ye boarded the boat first, and then pulled Ju Nian along.
Ju Nian stood on the shore without moving, and slowly pulled away from Tang Ye's hand.
"I'm here to see you off, Tang Ye."
The moon was half-hidden behind the clouds, and the wind was strong in the open area, whipping Ju Nian's short hair and rippling the water's surface. Her face was unusually serene in the half-lit moonlight.
Tang Ye was astonished. The boatman walked to the mooring rope and reminded him, "Sir, the boat should depart now."
"Why?" Tang Ye asked Ju Nian.
“I wasn’t originally in your plans. You took me along because you felt sorry for me. Thank you, Tang Ye. But I’m not the one who should be with you. Even though you can’t wait for him, that position shouldn’t be mine.”
Tang Ye suppressed the heart-wrenching pain when mentioning that person, "Ju Nian, actually, I really do like you too."
Ju Nian said, “Yes, I know you like me because I’m a good person; but you love him, even though he’s a bad person… even though he won’t come back. When he was alive, that ‘what if’ was just you deceiving yourself, and now that he’s dead, it’s even less likely.”
Tang Ye, such a gentle and kind man, should have run away with the one he truly loved. But at the moment of parting, he couldn't bear to leave behind the lonely Ju Nian. Now that Teng Yun is dead, it has completely severed any possibility between him and Ju Nian, and also severed any possibility of happiness. Therefore, even his longing for Teng Yun is tinged with hatred. Teng Yun used the most resolute way to make him remember him for the rest of his life, "Is there anything here worth staying for? Come with me. Even if we are together, at least we can have a completely new life."
The boatman loosened the reins and asked, "Miss, are you really not coming aboard?"
Ju Nian shook his head; the boat, with its rope loosened, seemed ready to drift far away at any moment.
"Tang Ye, to me, everywhere is the same."
While she could still touch him, Ju Nian gently hugged him, feeling Tang Ye's hand tighten suddenly. Then she pulled away, saying, "Go where you want to go, don't look back. I won't say goodbye, take care, Tang Ye, I'm so glad to have a friend like you."
When Ju Nian returned to her small courtyard, it was already dawn.
Han Shu was still lying on that bamboo chair, asleep. The dew from the night before had soaked his clothes. Even in his sleep, he looked so innocent, the wounds on his face now covered with light brown scabs. Ju Nian moved a small stool over and sat down beside him, secretly taking out a watercolor drawing that Chen Jiejie had given her the day before when she returned from the hospital from her clothes pocket.
It was a drawing Fei Ming made herself. Before going into the operating room, she told her mother to make sure to give the drawing to her aunt. The surgery was over, and Chen Jiejie said that Fei Ming might never wake up again.
Fei Ming's drawing was still terrible. Ju Nian wanted to laugh; this child had never had any talent for drawing. She could only vaguely make out that there were four people in the drawing: two girls and two boys. The girls all had their hair in ponytails; one was showing her teeth, and the other was smiling. One of the boys had a shaved head, and the other had short hair.
That old photograph from twelve years ago, which Ju Nian had given to Fei Ming among her usual belongings, was perhaps the only one that captured both her father and mother in one picture. Fei Ming did indeed see it, and even recreated it in her own way. Unlike the photograph, the four boys and girls were holding hands. At the bottom of the drawing, the words that were originally on the back of the photograph were written in a crooked hand: "Let me look at you."
Perhaps Fei Ming still cannot understand those old stories and the meaning of those five words, but this is the most beautiful conception she has made of memories in her own way.
A drop of dew fell from the eaves and landed on Han Shu's neck. He raised his hand and rubbed his itchy neck, as if he had woken up.
Before he opened his eyes, Ju Nian said, "Don't move."
He froze instantly, completely still, his hand still on his neck, only his eyelashes trembling slightly.
"Shh..." Ju Nian put a finger to her lips, "Pretend you're dead, don't move, and don't speak."
In the past, Han Shu would have already jumped up and spat at her jinxed mouth, but he didn't. He obediently "died," his "death" posture somewhat strange, but very peaceful, with a slight smile on his lips. Ju Nian wondered, could this be the legendary "smiling in the afterlife"?
Han Shu remained in that position for a very long time, until there was no more breath beside him. His neck and hands ached terribly, so he secretly opened his eyes to peek out, breaking the rules. Fortunately, the morning light was not glaring. The person who had made him pretend to be dead for so long was sitting on a low stool, his head leaning against the side of the bamboo chair, also with his eyes closed.
"Hey, hey." Han Shu was filled with resentment. He carefully nudged the person next to him. "You died too?"
She replied, "Don't make a sound, I haven't slept all night."
He lay back down, stayed with her, and waited for her.
Ju Nian dozed for a while, then straightened up and turned to ask Han Shu, "Are you awake?"
Han Shu said, "I woke up a long time ago."
They sat there dumbfounded on a bright morning, but one of them was in a good mood and very happy.
"Hey, I wonder if your loquat tree will bear fruit?" the cheerful person asked, starting with a trivial topic.
"Yes," Ju Nian replied. A tree grows up and bears fruit, but the person who plants the tree and the person who harvests the fruit may not be the same.